| 3-14 ACTING OUT Written by: Sue and Daniel Paige Directed by: Michael Engler A. FIRST AUDITION SCENE A.J. is onstage, giving a truly awful, hammy performance. �The last scene of all that is this�� Grace turns around in her seat to give Cynthia an oh-God-could-he-be-any-worse? look. ��sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste--sans everything!� A.J. collapses dramatically to the floor in a heap. Mr. Dimitri sits in the front row with one foot on a table. �Thank you, A.J., that was very nice,� he says politely, with a hint of amusement. A.J. sits up. �I can do some other��. Mr. Dimitri interrupts. �Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I think your�first instinct was, was very compelling. Who�s next?�, he asks Alexa, who is sitting 3 seats away. �Uh, Grace Manning,� Alexa calls out. Grace gets up from her seat. �I know her!�, Dimitri exclaims, standing up. Grace says �Hi.� Dimitri says �Hi-iy!� back. Dimitri smiles as Grace begins to climb up the stage�s steps. �Did you prepare something?�, he asks. �No, you said we shouldn�t,� Grace answers. �Oh, so, you didn�t memorize Rosalinde�s epilogue?�. Dimitri motions. �Well, I read it a few times. Is that a crime?�, Grace teases back. �In some countries, it is.� Mr. Dimitri turns around to pick up a script. �My errand is to you, fair youth. My gently Phoebe did bid me give you this� he says, handing the script up to Grace. �Act 4, Scene 3. Pardon me. I am but a guiltless messenger.� Dimitri walks backward and then turns his back to the stage. Grace starts. �Uh, patience herself would startle at this letter and play the swaggerer. Bear this, bear all��. Dimitri picks up a playbook, looks at the students, then turns around. Grace is still talking. ��she says I am not fair, that I lack manners. She calls me proud, and that she could not love me were man as rare as phoenix. Odds my will��. Dimitri listens, not smiling, then pushes his hair back from his face. He puts his fingers under his chin. ��her love is not the hare that I do hunt. Why�(?)�to me? Well, shepherd, well, this is a letter of your own device.� Grace brandishes the script. Dimitri answers back from memory �No, no, I protest. I know not the contents.� He points. �Phoebe did write it.� (He is quite naturally good.) Grace smiles and shakes her head. �Come, come. You are a fool, and turned into the extremity of love.�� Dimitri grins and takes a few steps forward. ��I saw her hand. She has a leather in hand�� Dimitri stands with his hands clasped behind his back. ��a three-stoned colored hand. I verily(?) to think�� Dimitri looks down. ��that her own gloves were on, which was her hand. She has a housewife�s hands�� Dimitri interrupts. �Fun. Fun. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you everybody for uh, indulging me.� �Mr. Dimitri?�, Alexa pipes. Mr. Dimitri puts his right hand on his thermos and his left hand on his hip. �Ye-es, Alexa?�, he says in a slightly irritated tone. �There�s one more person. She signed up late,� Alexa says. �Swell. Where is she?� �Uh, Jessie Sammler, for the role of Phoebe.� Grace smiles at Cynthia as she sits down. Her smile changes slightly when she hears her step-sister�s name. She looks back to see Jessie walking down the aisle to the stage. Jessie reads, �He�ll make a proper man. The best thing in him is his complexion. And faster than his tongue does make offense his eyes�� A.J. sneaks over to Grace and taps her on the shoulder. �So this is your half-sister, right?� �Step-sister,� Grace answers. �Right,� he says. (Jessie continues reading but she�s not as good as Grace.) �You�re going to get Rosalinde, � A.J. assures Grace. �You think?� �Well, it�s between you and Cynthia,� he says, looking back and forth at both of them. Mr. Dimitri looks over. Grace realizes they�re talking too loudly and mouths �Sorry.� Mr. Dimitri interrupts Jessie. �Good, good, thank you. Is that it, Alexa?� �Yes,� she answers. �Great. Okay, nobody leave.� He holds up a hand. �Stay right there,� he instructs Jessie. Dimitri looks through some papers. �Okay, this is what�I�m thinking. Here�s my idea. In addition to all the songs already in this wonderful play, I would like to put in some�folk music. Yep, the music of weird old America. How great is that?� He grins widely. The students laugh uncertainly. �Well, trust me, it�s at least really, really good.� He turns and walks to the stage, handing out sheets of music to Jessie. �Hope you like this.� A.J. speaks up, �Mr. Dimitri?� �Yes?� �No one told us we would have to sing,� A.J. complains. �I know, � Dimitri answers, �I�m telling you now.� Grace asks incredulously, �Do we have to sing today? Like right now?� �Yes,� Mr. Dimitri answers, handing out music to each row. �We will work our way backwards through the order. You�re first,� he motions to Jessie, still onstage. �You want me to sing?�, Jessie asks. �Yes, I do, � says Mr. Dimitri, clapping his hands together. �I, uh, don�t think I know any of these,� says Jessie, thumbing through the papers. Grace, A.J., and Cynthia look at each other unbelievingly. �Well, sing anything, � Mr. Dimitri beckons. Jessie stops at a sheet. �Oh, actually, I guess I, I kind of know this one from camp.� �Perfect," Mr. Dimitri assures her. "Well, just sing a little bit, whatever you�re comfortable with.� Jessie starts, her voice melodic. �The water is wide, and I can�t cross over.�� Dimitri sits, leans over the desk to pick up his clipboard. ��And neither have I wings to fly. Give me a boat�� Dimitri leans far back in his seat, then sits forward, smiling, to listen better. He puts his hand over his mouth, impressed. ��that can tarry to, and both shall row�� Grace watches, not smiling, not frowning. ��my love and I.� Jessie ends and looks to Mr. Dimitri. His mouth is open and he gasps and lifts up his hands. �I love this. I love it!� Jessie smiles, tickled by his approval. Grace turns form Cynthia, obviously having said something to her. Cynthia raises her hand. �Mr. Dimitri?� �Yes, Cynthia?� He knows what�s coming, and stands. �I really have to say I think this is totally unfair�� Grace shakes her head in agreement. ��that we have to do this like this?� Mr. Dimitri turns toward her. �How would you like to do it? �Um��, Cynthia starts. Grace interrupts her. �Well, we should be given time to practice,� Grace demands. �Because it�s a little strange to assume that people would be comfortable, just singing, like that.� Grace motions toward the stage where Jessie is. Mr. Dimitri raises his head for a moment to take this in. �Obviously you feel strongly about this?�, he asks. Grace huffs, �Huh, well, I think we all do.� She looks around. Others nod their heads. �That true?�, Mr. Dimitri questions. �Yeah,� Cynthia quietly answers. �Fair enough. Okay, I�m not a complete sadist yet. Those of you who get called back will be required to sing one of these songs. If you don�t get called back, you should learn these songs regardless, for your own enrichment, if nothing else.� |
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