So, Alanya made another trip to and from Sedya Neen, blushing the whole way, and soon discovered the Emperor ... wanted her to play spy. Not quite what she envisioned herself doing in life, but then again, the Emperor did set her free ... and it was seemingly obvious that this Caius guy was pretty high in the Emperor's regard.
With a welcome like that, how's a Breton lass to say no? Caius did at least say she could take some time to herself to clean up loose ends and pursue some Blades Trainers Wisdom, all at discount prices.
"Well then ... there is a loose end or three I need to tend to ..." Alanya said demurely, posing absently to show her perfect legs to advantage. "Give me a week or two ..."
So Alanya made a trip to that little island of the west coast of Sedya Neen, whereupon she discovered a bandit cave - or, as she liked to think of them, an animal den - and, another tomb. Three guesses which one she tackled first.
Yup: to quote Alanya, "We hunt for meat first before messing with old bones," and darned if a Devil Spear and a fifty in Sneak didn't pretty much tear those poor bandits to shreds, even the guys with huge honking Nordic Axes (thank you, oh Leveled Loot Lists! We love you! =P) The only problem Alanya encountered was her having forgot to buy new lockpicks, but fortunately she found a scroll to break open the one locked chest.
With bandits slain and slaves lovingly freed (and yes; please read that the way you think I mean ^_~ ) Alanya offered up her first prayer since getting blindsided by a Blighted Rat: "Please gods, Bonewalkers, not Skeletons. I can deal with Bonewalkers ..."
... They seemed to have listened; only one actual Skeleton and he used a steel tanto of all things. Lesser and Greater Bonewalkers accounted for the rest of the tomb's population, and while Alanya only scored one Critical Hit out of five or six attempts, nothing in the tomb managed to do more than strip off a fourth of her Hit Points or a tenth of her Strength points - both easily fixed with a little healing magic.
Alanya finished off her little trip by stripping the island bare of its plants, fungi, and crabmeat, with a couple racer plumes tossed in for variety, and drunk her second Potion of Recall to plunk her heavily-overladen Breton butt back in her nice cozy cave, whereupon she realized she'd need at least two trips back to Balmora to pawn all this stuff and wondered when she'd ever be unladen enough to chance taking the scenic route anywhere again - all this loot ferrying meant lots of Silt Strider time, and to be honest the drivers aren't great conversationalists ...
Loot sold, it was time for some more adventures - and an unfortunate breaking of my "You Die, You Restart" rule, though this exception was due more to outside interference than anything else (i.e., my father popped in to tell me something and distracted me at a bad time )
Among other things, Alanya used the money she made to finance the creation of The Ring of Toasty Bones - a 50 point fire damage spell effect with a radius of ten that she fondly dedicated to No Eyes Deadshot Pete the Departed - and some training in the proper use of enchanted items. Feeling a touch safer, she turned her thoughts to future endeavors - well to deciding what the heck to do with herself, now that she was stuck in an unfamiliar land ^_~.
There were rumors that some guy in the local fort wanted to talk to her - Larrius or the like. Well, she could look into that.
There was Caius, who was probably waiting for her to check in - and, from what she was hearing on the street, this Blades group the Emperor 'volunteered' her for was fairly respected. Well, hmm, he had suggested keeping her 'cover' as a freelance adventurer, so why not do some more adventuring?
There was the lure of exploring Morrowind some more, which was tugging on Alanya's heartstrings quite a bit. Hmm, well, with work offered by others one would have a reason to explore, to be sure ...
... oh, and there was this Dark Brotherhood guy who tripped over the front door in the Eight Plates Inn where Alanya was staying during her Enchantment training; Alanya earned the innkeeper a cool fifty septims when she rolled out of bed and dispatched the fool in three strokes, though the guard on duty won ten septims consolation prize for predicting it would be an even exchange of blows.
"Seriously, I love you all ..." Alanya muttered as money changed hands. "I think someday I'll brush up on my Illusion magic and show you my old Alanya's Unmentionable Toe Tickle spell, famous for making people meow like kittens ..."
But hey, Dark Brotherhood assassins were proving to be a helpful source of supplemental income and training, so Alanya shrugged off the mug of sujamma offered her for being a 'good sport' and decided to pay the local fort a visit the next day ...
------
"Let me tell you a story," Larrius Varro told Alanya with a large grin on his face - he always appreciated women with pig tails and cute smiles.
"Is this anything like the Nord bandit tale you just told me?" Alanya asked, eyebrows raised.
"Oh no no, much better," Larrius insisted. "See, there once was this evil magistrate with powerful friends, who allowed corruption ..."
Alanya humored Larrius's childlike telling of his frustrations with the Camonna Tong, Morrowind's indiginous criminal organization; she could guess where he was going with this and truth be told was not enthused with what she had heard of these people ... but still, Larrius was asking her to go kill five people, probably well-connected people at that, with little to go on ...
" ... Of course, you need not answer the prayer with a bloodbath," Larrius concluded, "but the Emperor has sent you a nice gift which I'm sure would make your time worthwhile ..."
" ... I'll get back to you on that," Alanya demured. "Truth be told, bandits in the wilderness is a little more in line with my specialty ..."
"Of course, of course," Larrius smiled. "But still, think about it ..."
Think about it ... Alanya thought as she made her way back to the South Wall, to look for a Thiev's Guild member for information. Well ... let me see if it's feasable before I decide ...
"Hello, what can I do for you?" the Nord pawnbroker asked Alanya as she walked in.
"Well, I'm looking for some bad people ..." Alanya started, kicking herself immediately for her lack of subtlty.
Suddenly, the whole place broke into thunderous applause, Alanya was handed a thick folder with the names, descriptions, and favorite foods of the five bad people, Sugar Lips the Khaijiit broke into an impassioned speech about how justice and freedom would always prevail against black-hearted villianry, and the resident Wood Elf scout told Alanya outright that he thought she was the hottest woman in all of Vvardenfell.
" ... Oh what the hey, Bosmer are good lovers," Alanya said, grabbing the Wood Elf, running to a room, and telling him flat out "Make me stop hearing the crazy people outside or I'll make you and me stop being very close."
------
"Argh, your mother was a Scamp and your father was a Scrib!" Alanya growled at the Camonna Tong's smith.
"Yawn; is that the best your pretty Outlander face can do?" the smith smiled, happily humming as he worked on sharpening a dagger.
"Okay - Orves Dren is Uriel Septim's personal boytoy and shoe-shiner!" Alanya seethed, "and your manhood is so small you probably don't even know what that means!"
"Dear, I'm a cultured sort," the smith grinned, "and the old Dren being Urine-el's boytoy was tried years ago. Don't you have anything original?"
"Khaijit men are ten times better than Dunmer men in bed - ask any Dunmer woman!" Alanya accused.
The smith's face drooped into gloom. "Aye, tis our secret shame; in truth we enslaved the Khaijit and Argonians not for manual labor but for ..."
"Stop it; I heard enough!" Alanya fumed, totally embarrassed by her inability to pick a fight with a known member of a group that openly despised Outlanders. "Forget you guys; I'm going to look for bandits ..."
As Alanya headed out, the smith mused " ... I wonder if she did that on her own, or if that silly Varro guy put her up to it ..."
------
Well, it was off to Hla Oud, tiny fishing village that Alanya had stumbled across on her first few days in Morrowind. Having proven to herself that she needed more work on the art of the insult, she instead went to hunt down her traditional favorite prey ...
... but as she left Balmoa, she noticed ... a Tomb.
" ... Well, I did just get this ring made to deal with Skeleton Archers," Alanya smiled, patting her new ring. "Let's go test it ..."
Ten minutes later ...
" ... Well poot; two Bonewalkers and a Bonelord," Alanya sighed, walking out with her modest loot. "Didn't even need the ring; oh well, next time ..."
So it was that Alanya searched around the village of Hla Oud, sniping down Cliff Racers and stabbing Mudcrabs and Nix Hounds as she went. And for a day of searching, she found ... a small bridge leading off to a tiny island off the twon's shore..
"Hmm, maybe the bandit's hiding in that big section of rocks," Alanya mused, heading over to find a Scamp. " ... Or maybe this is a Dreadra Shrine ..."
Three backstabbed scamps later, Alanya had made the acquaintence of two people who were doing little other than standing there and found a door to the interior ...
"Lot of water," Alanya thought as she stealthily made her way into the Shrine, awed by its alieness. "... Hmm, someone up ahead ..."
Alanya slowly creeped up to the Orc she saw ahead, clad in a robe and muttering under his breath. Alanya got close enough to touch the Orc, wondering if he was friendly despite the strong chances of being a Necromancer or Bad Deadra worshipper ...
"Hmm, what happens if I try to talk while sneaking?" I the player wondered, hitting the space bar.
"This character is in combat" the game replied.
"This character doesn't even know I'm here," I pointed out, looking meaningfully at the Sneak Icon. "Oh well, might as well take this guy out ..."
"Weakling!" the orc gasped as he tripped and fell on Alanya's enchanted spear, causing Alanya to mutter "Um ... I meant to do that ..."
"Oh don't worry; I'm sure you did," the Orc warrior woman on the other side of the alter smiled, pulling out a nasty-looking axe ...
------
"Right; thank you for freeing me from my captors," the Imperial behind the locked door said to Alanya after a hard-fought struggle to the death with the Orc woman. "I'll find my way out, don't worry."
"Er, wait, have you heard of a bandit named ..." alanya started, but the agent had already tuned her out, busily planning his trip home.
" ... Never mind; let me just recheck for missed loot ..." Alanya sighed, figuring she'd recall home with the orcish armor and come back to look for the bandit again. "Hmm, there's things on the alter ..."
No sooner had Alanya picked up something on the alter when ...
"What! an explosion!?" I the player squaked, seeing my hit points drop.
"What?! Something hit me!" I yelled, whirling Alanya around.
" ... A Dremora Lord!?!?! MOMMY!" I squeeked, realizing Alanya was nearly dead and falling fast.
"Haven't you ever watched Indiana Jones!?" the Dremora grinned evilly, poking me with his spear as I gulped a Potion of Recall.
Later, after recovering, Alanya said "Okay; Daedra Alters are booby-trapped, my loot's still sitting in that room, and that monster's likely waiting for me. This time though, I'm gonna sneak up on him ..."
So, off to Hla Oud again, but this time, upon taking a different route ...
"Hmm, a cave; I wonder if the bandit's in there?" Alanya wondered, coming across a little hideaway just south of the fishing village.
Now here is where a most unfortunate thing happened, for as Alanya snuck into the cave ...
"Hmm, he looks like a bandit guard," Alanya thought as I myself was wondering "You know, the slight downside to a sixty sneak is I never know who's immediately hostile anymore; maybe I should try talking to this guy too ..."
And just as I tried that ...
"Hey," my father said, popping into my room, "I got some news about coming back to the old job ..."
"Huh?" I muttered, looking up as my fingers did stuff. "Oh hi dad; lemme pause and ... oh, och, a fight ... stupid bandit ..."
"Hmm? Playing that game again?" Dad asked, vaguely curious as to what occupies my time so much.
"Yeah," I said, hitting the ESC key. "So, what's the news?"
"Well," Dad started - but then I said "Wait - why is the game still going?"
"Huh?" Dad griped, not liking me cutting him off. But, I was too panicked to reply - for my finger had missed the ESC key and hit the '1' key by accident, and thus I was now getting hurt ...
"Eep! Gotta get out!" I cried, trying to back up, cast a healing spell, switch to my enchanted spear, and exit the cave all at once while also toggling the run function. "Stupid controller setup ..."
Alanya, meanwhile, did a wierd dance in slo-mo and took several hits to the head, thus causing her to fall over and die; my fingers were tied in a knot. >.<
"#%^$#%^W^$##!!!!!!" I grumbled, "and I was doing so well with this one ...
"Er, come talk to me when you're ready," Dad sighed, going to get some coffee and watch television.
" ... You know, I'm calling this a foul," I decided. "I'll blame my Dad and restart - just this once ..."
------
(Oh, I apologized to my Dad afterwards; he's a great guy after all ^_^)
------
Alanya snuck into the cave, feeling an odd sense of deja-vu as she saw a Redguard standing guard.
"Hmm, yeah, he's a bandit," Alanya decided, quietly walking up and saying "Hey - seen any Nords?"
"No actually I - huh!?" the Redguard cried, leaping back - but Alanya struck quickly and brought him down, he nicely exposing his kidney for her.
"What was that?" another bandit muttered, wandering over to investigate.
Realizing the second bandit would be upon her at any moment, Alanya tried a risky strategy, leaning against the wall with her most seductive look. When the second bandit turned the corner, she pouted her lips, raised her leg, and said " ... Could you help me with my loincloth, oh strong sir ..."
------
Two down; two more in sight after a quick scouting mission. Alanya decided to take the one on the lower level of the wodden platforms first, then sneak up the stairs for the second. This plan worked pretty well, with only the last bandit putting up any sort of fight.
After that, alanya looked through all the crates and sacks ... and saw lots and lots and lots of Stuff! Dwemor gears and cogs, some raw ebony and glass, lots of clothes, some enchanted rings, plenty of armor and weapons ...
" ... I'm rich," Alanya thought, followed immediately by " ... How am I gonna cart all this back to my cave ..."
She thought about it, and decided "Simple; by making this my new cave and carting my old stuff up here!"
And thus Alanya has a new home - and is still looking for that bandit for Larrius ...
But first, a rematch: Alanya versus Dremora Lord the First.
------
Strange Morrowind Fact: A Bound Spear will kill Flame Atronachs in one sneak attack or three normal pokes. ^_^
Stranger fact: Dremora Lords only need six or seven pokes to die themselves with the same spear Well, the shot of greef and the healing potion helped ...
The second bout with the Dremora was actually kind of anticlimatic, sad to say. Being able to get up close before being noticed does a lot for giving you an upper hand, to be sure.
So, Alanya's next quest - to move into her new cave and to figure out where that bandit she was looking for is. And then to work on her insulting skills =P
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