The Midget And The Woodstock

So there I was. Walking down the street.

And there was a GIANT penis. Floating.

And I was like, 'WTF, PENISES DON'T FLOAT'

(cause they don't, ya know?). And it had

'Woodstock' tattooed across its scrotum.

And then I was like 'Oh, that's different',

and it wasn't as weird anymore. AND THEN,

a mysterious hand appeared from the head of

the penis, and gave me a ticket. And, you

know, I was like 'Dude'. And when I grabbed

the ticket, I was mysteriously transported

to Woodstock... the old one. And I was like

'WOW, that's weird'... Then I ate JFK's

a$$hole out, cause you know, who wouldn't?

Then I came back, and here I am. TA-DA!!!



                         ---Josh Lambert---
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