Ask him! Ask him! Ask Zandar! ...I'm not Zandar!


				Welcome to Ask a Random Elbow. Where you, the reader, can write about your everyday problems and if the elbow deems you worthy, he may even answer your problems for you, mind you the random elbow does not always have the time to answer your question in his busy schedule, but he will try his best! All questions for a random elbow should be emailed to the following address. Please include the following information as well. Your name: Your Problem: Anything else you want: Send Questions to: [email protected] Or to the alternate addresses at [email protected] [email protected]


			Dear Random Elbow, My friend Tony is heavily into drugs, and I don't know how to get him to stop. He doesn't listen to anything I have to say and won't even go seek help, even though it's obvious that he is a hardcore addict. What do I do? And how do I get this stain out of my white sweater? Stained in Seattle

			Dear Stained, Well sounds like you have a little perdicimant there. The real question is Stained, if that is in fact your real name, how do we know Tony is in denial and it's not YOU! How do we know YOU'RE not the one addicted to smack. Oh I know you didn't mention it was smack, but I AM a random elbow, I know more then you'll ever wish to know! You felt you could blow this all off on poor Tony, finding yourself some help! Well Mr. Sunnybottom, I'm not gonna help someone who lies to me about smack addiction! Go find yourself some other sucker. As for the stain, use new clorox with extra bleach whitening (special, lets take out Osama bin Laden by removing all stains!) special edition! You can always count on clorox to be your number one item for stain removal! And know that as we speak, Clorox is hunting down Osama and getting ready to donate the reward to those needed children! Hoping your problems just disappear! A Random Elbow



			Hello Ask a Random Elbow! How are you today? I'm not so well. I guess what's wrong is my child, she never seems to want to play with any of the other children. I wish that she'd get outside more, all she ever does is play with her barbies. I hate barbies. Dog I wish they'd get rid of barbies for good. HOW CAN I GET RID OF ALL THE BARBIES IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE UNIVERSE! TELL ME! I MUST KNOW ELBOW I MUST KNOW! please respond. Sincerely, Schitzoid in Salem

Well Mrs. and/or Mr. Schitzoid, sounds to me like you're in a real pickle. And to tell you the truth, I despise barbies too, I loathe barbies. In fact, I wanna crack all skulls of the people who play with barbie. I HATE BARBIE! DIE BARBIE DIE! sounds of plastic being smashed in the backround Feel the bite of me, a random elbow! Feel the burn of pain barbie! Feel it good! HAHAHAH LOOK AT HOW THE HEADS OF A BARBIE FLATTEN OUT WHEN I'M DROPPED ROUGHLY UPON IT'S ITSY BITSY PLASTIC HEAD! HAHAHAHHA DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE....excuse me. Ahem Well as you can see, in answer to your first question, I'm doing just wonderful thanks! Hoping your problems just disappear! A Random Elbow



Dear Mr. Elbow Why is it we hurt the ones we want to fuck? Why is Jonbond a poser and why can't he get the bondage outfit right? Everytime we want to have some fun I have to walk him through the procedure. "No Jonbond this strap goes there." "No Jonbond this is for your penis not your ass that's why it won't fit." Fuck! Why? Love, Eric Hawkins

Dear Mr. Hawkins, Well I must say that you do seem to have quiet a perdicamant. But I believe it's a very simple solution. Kill yourself. Painfully. Nothing easy mind you, something bad, like a stab in the stomach or something. Let Jonbond know that his stupidity has driven you to this point. Then, phone Jonbond's parents and tell them how stupid their child is, and what a poser he is. There are other solutions, you know, ones that don't involve death, but truley, why would you want THOSE solutions. Another route would be to video tape your time together, then send it to Jonbond's parents. That would spare your life, and you'd be alone, but then it would also bring around an ending we all want, and that's truley what makes us happy and driven. For the posers to be wiped off the face of the planet. Hope your murdering and plotting goes well Eric, and have a great day! A Random Elbow



	Hi Random Elbow (not capitalized originally in the letter, but as it is my name, I'm changing that). I have a problem with my elbow, and I thought you might help. My elbow dispenses advice, like you, but his advice is bad. For example, the other day I told him about my toe, which has decided to turn against me and stub himself every time I walk. My elbow told me to cut my toe off, so I did. Only I accidentally slipped and cut off them all. Now I can't walk. Should I cut off my elbow for his bad advice? Or maybe dip him in boiling oil to punish him? What would you do Random Elbow(again, uncapitalized)? Candy

		Dear Candy, Well Candy, there isn't a whole lot to say about this situation. First off, and elbow is NEVER wrong, and although I do withold more wisdom and information then the normal elbow. But, the elbow should not have caused you pain. On the otherhand, you shouldn't have slipped, that, after all, is totally your fault. You You You. And you know what I've heard? You are mean to your elbow, you abuse him. That's right, you beat him against walls on accident, and don't even rub him to make him feel better. You just say "Ow" like it's no big deal. Well you know what? It's a huge deal, "Candy". It hurts us when you hit us against solid objects, we arn't as strong as you big people, and we have feelings too. No that's it. I'm through with this question. Nope, no more, I'm off. This just isn't gonna fly. Nope, we elbows arn't going to stand for this abuse much longer. That's it!Next please.

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws