1. Na bottle mein na jar mein na hotel mein na bar mein na car me ab to need ati hai apke S M S parne ke badh mein
  2. He: can i touch ur software? She: show me ur hardware? He: can i download in ur system? She: use antivirus protection ur program may have H.I.V virus
  3. 12 sardar 12 car mein 12 bajke 12 min 12 sec mein 12vi gali ke 12ve theatre mein konsi film dhekhne gaye honge ? YEH WAQT HAMARA HAI.
  4. EK RAM-LILA KA HANUMAN THA FARAAR, IS ROLE MEIN UNHONE FIT KIYA EK SARDAAR, MAAR KE PED SE LAMBI CHHALANG, BOLA SITA MAIYA ,'SAT SRI AKAL'
  5. Zakham dene ka andaaz kuch aisa hai.Zakham dekar puchte hai ab haal kaisa hai.Kisi ek se gila kya karna yaro,sari duniya ka mizaz ek jaisa hai
  6. Zakham dene ka andaaz kuch aisa hai.Zakham dekar puchte hai ab haal kaisa hai.Kisi ek se gila kya karna yaro,sari duniya ka mizaz ek jaisa hai
  7. Kafan na dalo mere chehre pe muje aadat hai muskurane ki, na dafnao meri laash ko muje ab bhi umeed hai uske aane ki...!!
  8. Sajda hai dil mein tarane bahut hain, zindagi jeene k bahane bahut hain... Kis kis ko sms karun kambakht is nacheez k diwane bahut hain..!
  9. Q:What is masturbation? ANS:Its a thermo dynamic irreversible process by the virtue of which a man can challenge a woman that he can live without her.
  10. A prostitute aftr taking sardarji's dick in her mouth. "1000 rs de varna isko kaat doongi." Sardarji:" 5000 de varna su su kar doonga"bunty
  11. On first night,husband said 2 his wife:"Look darling be4 mariage i had slept wit 10 girls"wife replied:kundli mili hai to gunn to milega hi
  12. In a lift, man accidentally elbows lady's breast. MAN:If ur heart is soft as ur breast, u'll forgive me. LADY:If ur dick is hard as ur elbow I'm in room 207.
  13. Santa.."parjhai kithe hai? Banta.. "kapurthale." Santa.. "ullu-de-pathe ! asi mar gaye sigey jo kapoor de thalle bhej ditta !?"
  14. The sad life of a penis ' i have only one eye, my hair is a mess, my skin is wrinkled, my relatives are nuts, my neighbour is an asshole'
  15. Dosti karo to dhoka mat dena,dusro ko aasu ka tohfa mat dena,dil se roye koi zindagi bhar,aisa kisi ko moka mat dena...
  16. 2 men went 2 a callgirl. 1st went in, came out & said "no my wife is better". 2nd went in, came out & said "u r right your wife is better
  17. If T�M�
slips away
without a WoRD
from M�,
u dont hv
2 WoRRY
abt our
FR��NDSH�P
bcoz F��L�NGS
beyond WoRDS
will always
keep M�
  R  O
A       U
  D  N    YOU.
  18. Boy ask girl vidai k time ladki kyun roti hai.Girl say agar tumko pata chale ki 40km door lejakar koi tumhari Gand marega to tum kya karoge.
  19. Air hostess to Santa , are u vegitarian or non-vegitarian? No I am saggitarian.No sir r u masahari or shakahari ? No, I am BIHARI..!!
  20. LAILA ko MAJNU ka sms nahi aya, LAILA ne 3 din khana nahi khaya. LAILA marne vali thi MAJNU k pyar me, aur MAJNU baitha hai sms free hone k intezar me.
  21. Man to salesgirl "my wife needs a bra but i dont know the size Girl :touch my breast and try to calculate Man:oh i forgot she needs Panties too!.
  22. Sardar is repeatedly buying movie tickets. Finally the ticket seller asks him y? Sardar says, koi us darwaze ke pas mere ticket faad deta hai
  23.          /---:--;.
;:---:'---=I--=:--;
'--(o)---'--(o)--'

--:--;.
-=I--=:--;
-'--(o)--'

;.
=:--;
o)--'   ,))))
Apka SMS lene k liye meri MERCEDES bheju kya?.
  24. Penis says to his two balls i will take u to a party tonight............. Two balls reply u bloody fucking lier, u always get inside n leave us outside....
  25. Sardarnis pregnancy report-She was not pregnant it ws gas problem.Sardar disappoited:hey bhagwan, sanu lund dita! ke hawa bharanda pump dita
  26. Sardarnis pregnancy report-She was not pregnant it ws gas problem.Sardar disappoited:hey bhagwan, sanu lund dita! ke hawa bharanda pump dita
  27. Ummid Ki Eemarat Dheh Gayi. Aankhon Se Aansu Ki Nadi Beh Gayi. Tumhari Kya Izzat Reh Gayi. Jab Padosi Ki ladki Tumhe BHAIYA Keh Gayi..
  28. A lady from 2nd floor asked banana vendor shouting on street:-Kela kaise diya? Ans:-8 rupaye ke 12 Memsab. Lady says:-Tera (13) deta hai to upar aaja..!!
  29. A sardarni went to a swimming pool in a"Bra & panty"the coach says"Maam,here,a 2-piece costume is not allowed."Sardarni asks"kaun sa utaroo"
  30. This one is especially for you with love.. Dil haroon, jigar haroon ya jaan haroon, jab jab teri surat dekhoo dil kare...Rakh ke ek chaped mar
  31. Congress ki raly me kisi ne Sonia ka momma daba dia.Sonia:- I'm sure ye harkat kisi BJP wale ki hai.Police:- Madam,how can u be sure? Sonia:b'coz i FEEL GOOD !"
  32. 'Yaad karte hai aapko tanhai mei, Dil dooba hai gamo ki gahrai mei, Hume mat dhoondo duniya ki bhirh mei, Hum millenge aapki parchai mei.
  33. Sharab ek bimari hai, jo is samaj ko barbad kar rahi hai. Aao milke kasam khaye ki is bimari ko khatam kar denge.Ek bottle tum khatam karo baki hum kar denge
  34. Tu kahein taan chann tare tere te vaar deyan,zen,esteem,mercedees tere te vaar deyan.eh sab kuch bahut hai ya 2-4 gappan hor maar deyan.
  35. Dewane hain tere naam k is baat se inkar nahi,kaise kahein ki hame apse pyar nahi kuchto kasur hai apki adaon ka,hum akele to gunehgar nahi.
  36. 90yrs man goes to shop &askfor25gm viagra seller says sahab25gm kamhai man says beta mujhe sirf itna khada karna hai ki jab main susu karun to chapal pe na gire
  37. Once someone sent SMS to a Sardar "Padhne wala gadha, bhejne wala mahan". Sardar got angry and replied "Bhejne wala gadha,padhne wala mahan" . .!
  38. A lady to the shopkeeper,"yeh suit ka rang jayega to nahin na" Shopkeeper totla tha woh bola,"bibi ji aapka chut fat jayega par lund nahin jayega"
  39. Raat khamosh hai. . Chand madhosh hai. . . Kho raha hosh hai. .na tera dosh hai na uska dosh hai. . Jara underwear dekh yeh swapndosh hai
  40. Tum geron ki baat karte ho, humne apne bhi ajmaye hai, log to kanto se bach kar chalte hai, lekin humne to yeh zakhm phoolon se khayen hai......
  41. Ankhen khuli ho to chehra tumhara ho, ankhen band ho to sapna tumhara ho, mujhe mout ka khof na hoga agar kafan ki jgah dupatta tumhara ho.
  42. Mat kar mere dost hasino se mohabat, vo aankho se var karti hain. Maine inhi ankho se dekha hai voh kitno se pyar karti hain.
  43. Kid asked: "Why Dad & Mum in their room since 5 days?" sister: "I don't know but why are you laughing?" Kid: Dad asked for "Vaseline" I gave him "fevicol".
  44. Definition of Punjab Police Inspector - Tidd gaah nu, Bund pishan nu, Akhan laal, Muh te gaal, Hath tattean te, Te pag parwatean te.
  45. After a long brek down, a lady called d power station "ab to koi admi bhej do 2 ghante ho gaye mombatti se kaam chalate hue..!!!
  46. Boy-Yeh tumhari dono tango ke beech kya hai? Girl-Bas aise hi LAKIR hai. Aur tumhari tango ke beech yeh kya latak raha hai? Boy-Yeh bus usi LAKIR ka FAKIR ha
  47. DESI GUR KO KHAAND KEHTE HAIN, JO SABKO DE,USEY RAAND KAHTE HAIN, JO KAAM NA KARE USE SAAND KEHTE HAIN, AUR JO BINA-AAWAZ FATE,USE GAAND KEHTE HAIN !
  48. Duaoyo ki bhid me ek dua hamari hogi jisme mangi hamne har khushi tumahari hogi Jab bhi koi KHUSHI mile apko samjho dua KABUL hamari hogi.
  49. Exam,mrks,% sb bekar ki batein he.Sb moh maya he.Tum khali hath hi aye ho & khali hath hi chale jaoge.Naadan insan is Bhram se niklo & satya ko apnao,jao sojao.
  50. Body aise nahi banti "Dudh shudh peena padta hai".
    ,---.    v  ( /
   (((/c ';. )( . )
   ./    ,-',  .  (
 /     )/  (  �  )         SAMJE BACHE!
  51. Sardar: Yaar meri biwi mere dost ke sath bhaag gayi Man: Uski yaad aati hogi naa Sardar: Haa yaar.. bahut acha dost tha.
  52. World's Smallest Resignation Letter: Dear Sir, "Maa Chuda Lo....! Main to chala."
  53. Maine poocha chand se......ki dekha hai koi.. mere yaar sa haseen..... chand ne kaha.... BENCHOD.... Itni upar se kya 'GHANTA' dikhegaa !
  54. Nursery boy & girl asked teacher "can kids of our age have kids" teacher said: "no never" boy said to the girl "see i told u not to worry."
  55. A man asks a maulvi aapke dus (ten) bache hain, Maulvi replies "Sab allah ka haath hai" "Man says to maulvi lungi theek karo allah ka haath dikh raha hai "
  56. Us pyari si surat ka,phir1 bar didar de,tadap rahe hain hum yahan,ab aur na intazar de,awaz mat sunana ae zalim magar,1 MISS CALL TO MAR DE
  57. KBC Host AMITABH: "For 10 LACS, what is the colour of the hair on your wife's pussy? Is it A:Brown B:Blonde C:Black D:Grey? SARDAR: "Can I phone a friend?".
  58. A Boy donated Blood 2 his Girlfrnd. After they Broke up,He wanted his Blood back.The Girl threw a used Stayfree at him n said,i"ll pay u in MONTHLY INSTALMENTS!
  59. Beta2sardar: papa aaj me bus k piche dod k ghar aaya,jisse mene 3Rs bachaye, s'dr:oye kar dina sardaro wali,auto k piche aata to 30Rs bachte
  60. Wat is d diff. btn a SECRETARY n a PERSONAL SECRETARY? Secretory says gudmornin Sir,while a prsonal secretary says Oh God! Its morning Sir.!
  61. Viagra ki ek goli loge to lamba hoga,do loge to khamba hoga aur teen loge to ladki bolegi ki benchod chod raha hai ki khod raha hai!!!
  62. JUDGE: U say d defendant stole money from UR BRA while U were wearing it. Then why dint U stop him? SHE SAID: I was not sure what he wanted.
  63. Sardar:mai kal english film de cassatte le gya tha vo kharab hai,kuch dikhai-sunai nai deta.Casatewala:kya nam haifilm ka?sard:HEAD CLEANER
  64. Lehar aati hai kinare se palat jati hai, yad aati hai dil mein simat jati hai, dono mein farq sirf itna hai. Lehar bevaqt aati hai aur yaad har waqt aati hai
  65. Arz kiya hai, Matlab ki duniya mein, kaun kisika hota hai.. Sms bhi wohi karta hai.. jiska free hota hai...specialy for u.
  66. A couple was pumping hard in bed. MAN: Spread ur legs wider honey! WIDER! . . .WIDER! GIRL:Are u trying to get ur balls in? MAN:No,OUT!!+
  67. Lalu Prasad Yadav: Yeh Bhaish ko mere ghar me kyun le kar aayi ho? Mayavati: Dikhta nahi kya? Yeh bakri hai! Lalu: Me usi se puchh raha hoon
  68. Apple ka juice mango ka juice tarbuch ka juice badam ka juice khajur ka juice kaaju ka juice jo sMs na kare woh MAHA KaN-JuS.
  69. Mr Elahi had 3 sons named rehmat-e-elahi, barket-e-elahi & mehbub-e-elahi when 4th son was born the wife decided to name him BAS KAR-E-ELAHI
  70. Do U Want to know the CLIMAX of MAIN HOON NA? Shahrukh is the serial killer. Zayed kills him in the end. For more details MAIN HOON NA!
  71. Sardar asks a beautiful gal- cum 2 my house at nite,nobody will b there. Girl goes 2 his house at nite n finds nobody was there..!!
  72. Roses are Red, Sky's are Blue, Monkeys like You, should be kept in Zoo. Dont get angry, you will find ME there too, not in the cage, but LAUGHING on YOU :-D
  73. Kudi:100Rs lungi hil hil ke dungi, Munda:100Rs dunga hil mein khud hi lunga. Kudi:Matarchod 100Rs bhi bacha khud haath se hila.
  74. Husband : Darlig nind nhi aa rahi hai kuch sex ho jaye wife : Madarchod meri chuth me kya teri ma lori ga rahi hai jo tuje nind aajayegi
  75. A friend asks SaNta how was ur Exam?He replied:It was ok but i culdnot ans. past tense of THINK.I thought Thought & Thought & wrote "THUNK"
  76. Unborn twins in the mother's stomach saw a penis . 1st : dekh papa aa rahe hai! 2nd:Abe dhakkan ,ye gupta uncle hai , papa kabhi raincoat nahi pahante
  77. Fudu hain woh log jo muth ko muth kehte hain,yehto woh aassoon hain jo fudi ki juddai main behte hain!
  78. Do u knw dat a simple " hello" can be so sweet? H= how r u? E= everything all rite? L=like to see u. L= luv 2 hear frm u.O= obviously mis u.
  79. Dil Se Dil Laga_Kar To Dekho, Meri Yaado me Aansu Bahake To Dekho, sMs to Kya, MObile bhi Dunga Dost, Sirf Ek Bar mere mobile ka Bill Chukake to Dekho
  80. Sardar di sali boli "jija ji 500 rupaie deo, kal devagi". Sardar replied "aah chak 1500, HUNE DE"
  81. Phir chupke yaad aa gaya koi, meri aankhon ko phir se rula gaya koi, kaise uska shukria adaa karu, mujh nacheez ko "shayar" bana gaya koi.
  82. Lamha lamha waqt gujar jayega, chand lamhoo mein exam aa jayega, abhi bhi waqt hai do line padh lo , warna pass kya tera sasur karvayega?
  83. " Woh aye hamare sapne mein, sapne mein sab kuch ho gaya. Unki bhi izzat reh gayi, apna bhi kaam ho gaya"
  84. Prof said: if any boys goes to girls hostel rs 100 fine for 1st time rs 200 for 2nd time, 500 for 3rd time. 1 boy asked: how much for monthly pass.
  85. M=MOTIVATION O=ONLY ONE T=TENDER LOVE H=HEART E=EFFORTS R=RESPONSIBLITI-ES if u LOVE your mom fwd it to everyone
  86. PREMI-Tum mujse shadi kab karongi? PREMIKA-jab mere parivar wale man jaye tab! PREMI-tere parivar me kon kon he.PREMIKA-mera pati or 3bache
  87. Friend to sardar-yaar kal pak ke match pe 400Rs lagaye the pak haar gaya.Sardar-Main to 800hara.Frnd-kyo? Sardar- 400 raat ko highlights pe bhi laga diye the
  88. Kore kagaj pe likha hai tera naam...tasvir bhi utaari aur likha hai ye paigam.......... ZINDA YA MURDA PAKADNE WALE KO 100 Rs. INAAM....
  89. Seeing a horse's dick Full ERECTED Santa: ye kya hai? Mom: nothing.Santa 2 dad: ye kya hai? Mom:kaha na NOTHING! Dad:ha beta,teri mom k liye to Ye bhi kuch nahi
  90. Teer kya chalati ho dhaar to talvar me hai, teer kya chalati ho dhaar to talvar me hai. Duppete se kya chupati ho, maal to salvar me hai...
  91. Today's menu at lahore 4 all indians... shoab khima,sami kabab,inzamam aloo tiki,afridi anda fry,razzaq raita,moin manchurian plz enjoy
  92. Dil karda e tere kol aake ruk jawan ,teri bukul de wich aa ke muk jawan, hanju ban ke niklan teri akhan da,terian gallan te aa ke suk jawan.
  93. � Dil mein Hamesha Ek Shor ho Raha hai, Bina SMS Dil Bore ho Raha hai, Kahin Aisa to nahi, ke Ek Pyara Sa Dost Mujse D��r ho raha hai. . .
  94. WHAT IS THE SIMILARITY BETWEEN MAN AND MOUSE? . . . . Both search for holes.
  95. Request hai tumse, refuse'mt'krna, Friendship k bulb ko fuse mt'krna, Hum'dost hai tumhre, confuse'mt hona, mere jagah kisi ko choose mt'krn
  96. Wots commen between burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend? In both cases u wish- 'kaash 2 second phele nikaal liya hota'
  97. Today its cool 2 hav small cars, small mobiles... Soon a day will cum whn small Brains will b in fashion, thn my Friend U will b a LEGEND
  98. A man accidently enters the ladies toilet, a lady say "HEY dis is for LADIES" the man shows his penis & says "LOOK DIS IS FOR LADIES TOO"...!
  99. HOLD TEN ROSES IN UR HAND AND OPP TO THE MIROR,UWILL C 11 ROSES BETWEEN THEM.THEMOST BEAUTIFUL ROSE IN THIS WORLD is U"
  100. In life love is never planned nor does it happen for a reason.But when the luv is real ,it becomes ur plan 4 life n a reason 2 live.
  101. Maal road ke nazare na hote, Fountain Chownk ke faware na hote agar Ludhiana ki ladkiya fashion na karti to Phillaur ke ladke awara na hote.........!!!
  102. Q: KNOW D DIFFERANCE BW. StRENTH & STAMINA? A:Strenth is when u can hang a wet towel on ur dick. Stamina is when u can leave it there till it dries.
  103. Man-sarderji why did people beat u? He reply-bus mein mera photo gir gaya tha,i asked to a lady zara sari uthana maine photo lena hai.
  104. Vajpayee Was talking about family planning in a speech. Laloo Got angry,stood up n said- when u dont play the game,dont make the rules..
  105. Tere liye 1 ladki dundhi hai Biodata. Name:Chameli, Add:Chandni bar Father: Munnabhai MBBS Age:Solwa saawan Education: KAMASUTRA Experience:ab tak chappan
  106. PROPOSE KARNE KA NAYA STYLE..! CHAND KO TOD DUNGA, SURAJ KO FOD DUNGA, TU EK BAAR HAA KARDE BUS...PEHLI WALI KO CHOD DUNGA..!
  107. Tere liye 1 ladki dundhi hai Biodata. Name:Chameli, Add:Chandni bar Father: Munnabhai MBBS Age:Solwa saawan Education: KAMASUTRA Experience:ab tak chappan
  108. A woman gave birth 15 babies & on seeing This she got out off bed & slapped her husband & shouted, "I told you not to go doggy style".
  109. "Rahi badal jate hai,Par raste nahi badalte, Tufan aye firbhi mausam nahi badalte,gile shikve bhale kitne ho magr sache dost nahi badalte.."
  110. Sardarji, tell me, what is the meaning of sms? SARDAR- It means S-Sardaro ka M-Mazaak udane ki S-Service.
  111. Duniya mein bewafaon ki kami nahin hai. Ab suraj ko hi dekh lo : Aata hai USHA ke saath, Rehta hai KIRAN ke saath aur Jaata hai SANDHYA ke saath.
  112. Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'...........Sardar said 'Oye No Problem BABY,I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
  113. Dosti ka karz ada kaun karega,Hum hi na rahe to dosti kaun karega.Ae khuda salamat rakhna mere dosto ko,WARNA MERI SHADI ME DANCE KAUN KAREGA.
  114. Lady 2 Inspector Banta Singh-Mere husband 6 Din pehle gobi ki sabzi lene market gaye the, Abtak nahi aye.Inspector Banta Singh replied-Tusi duusri sabzi bana lo

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