1. SARDAR apne Bete ko: Gadhe tu kaisi Maachis laya hai, ek bhi tili nahi jalti. BETA: Kya baat karte ho! ek-ek check karke laya hu!
  2. Lalu : Aare e docterwa, e tune kesi hamri nasbandhi ki hai Raabri fir pregnant ho gai hai ? Dr : Laluji mene sirf aapki nasbandhi ki hai, pure Bihar ki nahi(",)
  3. A sardar fell from top floor of building. People gathered around & asked sardar, sardarji ki hoya? Sardar replies, pata nahin, main ta aap huni thalle aayan! 
  4. Ehh, Do u want a new ringtone?wait 4 5 secs...





05.....







04....







03...







02..







01.



 )  " (

/    ).)...P,RRRR..

L./L./







Nice Tone...?? HEHEHE.
  5. KOI PATHAR SE NA MARO MERE DEEWANE KO;KOI PATHAR SE NA MARO MERE DEEWANE KO;.....YAAR NUCLEAR BOMB KA ZAMANA HAI;BOMB SE UDA DALO SALE KO
  6. Shoaib fuckthar, shahid fuckridi, inzamam ul fuck, fucker mehmood, fucklain mushtaq, fuckar younis.. Fuckistan is goin 2 b FUCKED! Send it to every indian
  7. Ek pathan ki shadi ke 3 din bad uski biwi boli maine aapse shadi isliye ki hai ke hamare bache hon, isliye nahinKe mujhe tatti khul karAaye.
  8. How 2 grow up a baby 2 make it absolutely charming,smart,good looking,cute,funny,truthful & an extremely inteligent ? Ask my parents !!!
  9. Collage ki 1ladki ki pant ki jip khuli thi, ladka akar bola madem apne tajmahel ka darwaja band karo yeah mera kutubminar hila raha hai
  10. Srdar-Y r all these people runing?Man-This is a race,the winner wil get the cup.Srdar-If only the winner wil get the cup,y r others running.
  11. A rich man asked a poor man! How do you have such a large penis?The poor man replied Bachpan mein merey pass koi khilona nahin tha . 
  12. Santa visits DOCTOR

He is obese.

DOCTOR Adviced run 8 kms for 300days

After 300days BILLOO phoned & said:

I am slimmer

but I'm 2400kms AWAY FROM HOME.
  13. Prostitute goes 2 doctor n asks 4 2nd hole.Doc asks y?prost: Business is so gud,i want 2 open a new branch.'
  14. Man:Sardarji where were u born? Sardar:PUNJAB. Man:which part? Sardar: oye, part part kya kar raha hai,whole body born in punjab
  15. GIRL to BOY: I am radio. My left boob is tuner n right boob is volume control. Boy turns both boobs but there is No sound! Girl:Fool, U have not plugged in...!
  16. Why do Girls enjoy HOLI more than boys? Ans:B'Coz Girls have two Big BALLOONS of 500ml each but Boys have only one PICHKARI of just 2ml only!
  17. Santa: I m a proud sardar,"my son is in medical collage". Banta:'Really? Wat he is studying?" SANTA: He is not studying. They r studying him.
  18. Amiri ke khwab dekhne lagi,angreji sharab chakhne lagi,baap ne kabhi pager nahi dekha aur beti mobile rakhne lagi !!!
  19. Kips market ke nazare na hote,Fountain chownk ke faware na hote,agar ludhiana ki ladkiya fashion na karti to ludhiana ke ladke awara na hote 
  20. Hello Hello mera

lelo ?

 



DIL

  



 

Bolo Bolo apni kholo ?

 



ZABAAN

     



 

Dekho apni khol ke dekho ?

 



AANKHEN

       



 Kitna bada hai mera ?

 



DIL..
  21. Whats the difference between a curtain and a panty...????....?! when a curtain falls the show ends but when a panty falls the show begins.!
  22. Sardarji went 4 an interview. Interviewer: what's ur date of birth ? Sardarji:15 Jan Interviewer: Which year? Sardarji : Every Year!
  23. love is not measured by huggin, kissin & sex. Love is respect & trust acceptin person with open legs & closed eyes wet lips saying, "push it more..!"
  24. Asi maut rok rakhi te tera intzar kita,Sajna de jhuthe lareyan da aitbar kita,Asi jaan den lagian ik pal v na layia,Te tusi jaan lain lagiya v nakhra hazar kita
  25. Care is d sweetest form of love,so when anyone says take care,its as good as saying,i will keep u in my heart till its very last beat........TAKE CARE.
  26. Prove: AB/AG+2MP+4WD+9MC=ABC Solution: A boy upon a girl + 2 Minutes pressure + 4 White drops + 9 Months course = A Beautiful Child.
  27. 2pigs were havin deir food.Pig1:Apna kya zindgi hai, TATTI khana padta hai.Pig2:Sale kitni bar bola hai khate waqt TATTI ki bat matKIYA kar.
  28. Mil Jaye Koi Naya To Hame Na Bhula Dena,Koi Rulae Tumhe To Hame Yad Kar Lena,DOST Hai Hum Tumhare Khushi Na Sahi YAAR Gum Hi Baat Lena...!!!
  29. Phoolon ki har kali khushbo de aap ko.Surya ki har kiran roshni de aapko.Hum to kuch dene ke kabil nahin;magar dene wala har khushi de aapko.Happy holi
  30. Sperms in penis talking 2 each other: Mai doctor banunga, Mai eng... Tempted boy goes 2 bath room n does masturbatin. Sperms-"SAALE NE CAREER BARBAD KAR DIYA."
  31. Humne manga tha sath unka, vo judaai ka gam de gaye. hum yaadon ke sahare ji bhi lete,magar vo bhul jaane ki kasam de gaye.
  32. kid sees parents hvin sex Son:papa kya kar rahe ho. Dad:apki mom mein petrol dal raha hun. Son:papa mummy ki avg check karao abhi to uncle dal kar gaye the.
  33. PAK wicket keeper Moin got married. His wife was asked by the media how moin was on wedding night? She said he stood behind bed & said AUR TEZ DALO WASIMBHAI.
  34. Train main wife husband se boli-aaj suhagrat hai kuch karo na!Pati bola-dekha nahin samne kya likha hai?"CHALTI TRAIN MAIN CHADNA MANA HAI" 
  35. dont love

a friend

like a

flower, 

---;-<@

 

bcoz a

flower

dies in

season.

love them

like a river 

-_-_-_-_-_-_

_-_-_-_-_-_-

bcoz a river flows 4ever!
  36. GIRL TO RIKSHAWALA:"bhayia jayega?" MAN:"MADAM,bilkul jayega,abhi abhi toh grease lagake khada kiya hai" GIRL:"Toh fir ghuma ke lelo"
  37. If i ever sent u a bunch of roses i will put a fake one in between and will say our love will last till the last one dies!
  38. PYAR MEIN THOKAR LAGE, TO DARU PE KAR BHULA DENA. DIL SE JO AAH NIKLE , TO HOTON MEIN DABA LENA. AA DOST AGAR MERI YAAD AAYE ,TO PECHE UNGLE DAL KAR GHUMA LENA 
  39. BILLOO BADHSHAH saw his wife sleeping with his friend,

he took gun,

shot his friend,

HIS Wife(in anger):

  "is tarah behave karoge to sab dost gavan doge.....!"
  40. A woman lies nude in bed,

spreads her legs wide

and

asks Santa,

"You know what this means?"

SANTA:- "Yes, you need the whole bed to sleep.!"
  41. RAM BHAI: MY 8yr old son is very naughty,he has made my maid servant pregnant. SANTA: How the hell? RAM BHAI: He took a pin & made holes in all my condoms. 
  42. The teenage GAL applied for 

a part time job after school.

During interview,

Man:- 'what was ur last position?'

GAL:- ' DOGGY..!'
  43. Only time when RAM BHAI was shocked.... ONCE... He WAS having sex with a pregnant woman & suddenly a hand grabs HIS DICK from inside.
  44. Nurse to sardarji : mubark ho....aap papa ban gaye...!! sardarji to Nurse : meri wife ko mat batana...mein use surprise dunga..
  45. Tusi bade hi gr8 ho,rasgule ki pl8 ho,pepsi ka cr8 ho,ande ka oml8 ho,sms karne me bade le8 ho,jalebi ki tarah stra8 ho, kher jo b ho mere fevr8 ho . 
  46. GOD gv u

2Legs 2walk

2Hands 2hold

2Ears 2hear

2Eyes 2see

Bt y did

HE gv u

only 1 HEART?

'Coz

He gve

the other 1

to sømeøne

For You To Find. belated valentin's
  47. Sardar running after a bus catches it & says to driver.Yeh bus teri maa lagti hai?Nahin.Kya behan lagti hai?Nahin.To chadne kyun nahi deta.
  48. Sardarni:kutte nu kaise pata lagda hai ki kutiya nu sex karna hai? SARDAR:Apni naak se Sungh kar.SARDARNI: Teh tennu ki jukhaam ho gaya hai.
  49. Mandir mein jaap karta hoon,masjid mein namaz padhta hoon,insan se kahin khuda na ban jaun isliye tumhe SMS kar ke roz ek pap karta hoon!
  50. A 6 yrs old boy was caught in rape case. In court, lawyer: Holding his penis says, ur honour, look can he rape ? Boy: "hila mat warna case bigad jayega"
  51. Wut is love? LOVE AINT NOTHING BUT SEX MISSPELED. Whats lesbian? ANOTHER CASE OF WOMEN ATTEMPTING TO DO MENS JOB.
  52. "Chand taron ka noor aap pe barse, har koi aap ki dosti ko tarse; naea saal me aap ko itni khushiya mile, ki aap thoda gham paane ko tarse ..!
  53. Devdas ko babuji ne kaha ghar chod do, maa ne kaha paro ko chod do, paro ne kaha sharab chod do, par aap ko kisne kaha ki SMS karna chod do ! 
  54. A Rose. . .







          /,)   ,-,'),

======/==:', '(@)

           ò    '-';)'     







FOR dost jo nahi milte har ROZ,,,
  55. WO HAMARI GALI MEIN AAYE BOLE DIL SE DIL MILA LO DEKHA JAB MUMMY KO TO BOLE JUTE CHAPPAL THIK KARWA LO..
  56. dd u know SILENT & LISTEN have same letters? they may b different for others but are very relevant to us,coz I can LISTEN even wen u r SILENT.....
  57. Santa:"Why are you crying?" Banta:I came for blood test,DOCTOR chopped my finger. Santa:Oh! my god,i came for urine test.!
  58. Best engines r women.All sized pistons work,self lubricating, quick start with finger,self change oil every 4weeks,tankfull lasts 9 months.
  59. Aansoo ko palko tak laya mat karo,Dil ki baat kisiko bataya mat karo, Log mutthi me LUND liye phirte hai,Apni gand kisi ko dikhaya mat karo.
  60. Dhobi police se:sardar ne meri biwi ki izzat looti. Sardar: Main press karwane gaya tha,dhobi khana kha raha tha bola ki istree garam hai kar lo,maine kar liya!
  61. Dhobi police se:sardar ne meri biwi ki izzat looti. Sardar: Main press karwane gaya tha,dhobi khana kha raha tha bola ki istree garam hai kar lo,maine kar liya!
  62. A sardar daily climbs up a tree and sits over there , u know why ?. . . B,Coz he thinks himself as a Branch Manager !
  63. Shadi karni thi par kismat khuli nahin.Taj Mahal banana tha par Mumtaz mili nahin. Ek din, kismat khuli shadi huyi. Ab Taj banana hai-par ye Mumtaz marti nahin. 
  64. Gööd Frìènds CÄRE för èachOthèr..





CLÖSE Frìènds UNDERSTÄND èach öthèr..



Änd TRUE Frìènds STÄY förèvèr





bèyönd wörds,









bèyönd tìme







and béyönd demands
  65. .



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.

zaroori nahi k har sms me kuch mesg ho.

Yaad aa rahi t
  66.  o

!U! when u  msg 

 !!  me



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,U

 ! >





,U

 >>



>))



 ii

 U

!o!





  ioi

._U_.



i"m HAPPY LIKE THAT
  67. Just wondering, wud u smile if I smile at u?Wud u say helo if I greet u?Wud u talk 2 me if I talk 2 u?Wud u add "too" if I tell u "I MISS U
  68. Gawon ki gori badi hi bholi braa utari penty kholi bed pe so lee tang utha kar mujh se boli nikal pichkaari khele HOLI. 

  69. 
G  ___ ___

O !     V    !

O !       ORNING

D !__!V!__!

 __    __

!    !_!    !

!     _  AVE A NICE

!__!  !__!

 ___

!       ' .

!    D   i

!.___, 'AY
  70. Umeedo ki shama dil mein mat jalana. Is jahan se alag duniya mat basana. Aaj bas mood mein the to SMS kar diya. Par roz intezar mein palken mat bichhana...
  71. This cat is cat The cat best cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat fool cat busy cat for cat 30 cat seconds.NOW READ AGAIN WTHOUT THE WORD-CAT 
  72. HOPE







HOP

e





HO

p

e



h

ø

p

e

h

  ö

e   p



h

   op

e



e

   o p

e



(e

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(e



(e

  __; )

(e



( )

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(@

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((

  __; )

((

UR FIT & FINE  [Rotate your Mobile to 90o]
  73. A woman goes to an umbrella repair shop. Shopkeeper: Upar ka kapra utarna parega neeche rod dalni paregi.Lady: Jo marji karo par pani andar nahi jana chahi da.
  74. Research shows men are fat than women because every night men get fresh milk & two big papayas while women only get one banana two nuts & one tea spoon curd.
  75. Why did Sachin marry an elder woman and kumble married a divorcee? ANS: A batsman loves loose balls and A spinner loves used balls
  76. Jindagi behaal hai, sur hai na taal hai, msgbox bhi kangaal hai, kya aapki sms factory mein hadtaal hai.
  77. Teacher asked students: Wat u want to b in future? Rohan said: Doctor. Neel: Pilot. Madhu: Mother. Yash: I want to help Madhu.
  78. Tere sath guzra lamha jab yad ayega,Is janam ke baad tera khyal Ayega,Agar bakshi bar-2 zindgi khuda ne mujhe,Tujse dosti karne ko ji chaiga 
  79. 
One totla went for interview

&

was asked to say:-

Institute,

Aptitude,

Magnitude

&

Substitute.

Totla replied:-

inkichut,

aapkichut,

maakichut,

subkichut.......!
  80. Teri gali vicho langage jan jan ke, sanu pata tu thane report lakhai hoi hai, ja ke puchi thanedar nu usdi bhehen vee aasi fasai hoi hai.!
  81. Tumhara har msg rom rom me gudgudi paida kar deta hai,mera dil jor se dhadakta hai,kasoor tumhara nahi ye mobile hi vibration par rehta hai.
  82. FELINGS OF SEX-WHILE REMOVING BRA "DESH MEIN NIKLA HOGA CHAND" WHILE REMOVING PANTY "KHUL JA SIM SIM" WHILE SEX "KYA MASTI KYA DHUM" AFTER SEX"KAMJOR KARI KON
  83. SEx budget is out fudi den wali nu 100/ tax mume patane wali nu 70/ papi den wali nu 20/ tax par tenu gabranu di lor nahin bund den wale nu koi tax nahin
  84. Sachin ki suhag raat thi: ANJALI: Arey aapke lund pe to "AIDS" likha hai SACHIN: Behenchod khada to hone de "ADIDAS"likha Hai.
  85. A girl removes her jean nd throws it 2 her boyfrnd nd says MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN. Guy removes his jean, throws it at the girl nd says WASH BOTH THE JEANS
  86. Dekh ke teri fati salwar uth khadi hui meri choti si talwar, us talwar se maine kiya war, usse niklee ek dhar jisse ban gaya hamara pariwar.
  87. Tum kya jano gum kya cheez hai, tum kya jano gum kya cheez hai, arre tum kya jano gum kya cheez hai,tumne to sari umar fevicol hi use kiya hai.
  88. Friendship is a bridge betwen u&me when u r sad &lonely, cross it, i wil wait on d other side forever and if u r afraid just tell me i wil cross it for u.
  89. 1. Andhe ki biwi ko langde ne Kiss kiya aur goonge ne dekh liya. Ab gonga andhe ko kaise bataye. Its a chalenge to ur brain reply if u know ans
  90. Tendulkar's wife gave birth to twins. In press report he said "BOOST" is the secret of my energy. Suddenly sehwag came in and said "our energy...."!!
  91. U r not like others.ur brain is a masterpiece.it is divided into 2 parts=left & right.in ur left part nothin is right & in ur right nothin is left!!
  92. GOVT OF INDIA has introduced a new rule --->Good looking people should be thrown out of the country!!! You are safe.......where shall i go
  93. Mitha intzar te intzar nalo yar mitha,mitha yar te yar nalo pyar mitha,mitha pyar te pyar nalo mithi sadi yaari,es to mitha kuch na milna labh le tu duniya sari Exclusive
  94. True Friends see U true,

Believe in things U wanna do,

Feel glad when Ur dreams come true,

Best of all they dont judge U,

They simply love U coz U r U.
  95. E-Mere Dost,Mere Marne Ke Baad Sirf Aansu Hi Bahana,Zyada Meri Yaad Aaye To Mere Piche Na Chale Aana,Yahin Bahut Dukhi Kar Liya Hai,Wahan Aa ke Mat pakaana!!
  96. THINK BIG.. THINK SMART.. THINK POSITIVE. THINK BEAUTIFUL THINK GREAT.. I KNOW,THAT IS 2 MUCH FOR U,SO HERE IS A SHORTCUT..... THINK ABOUT ME.
  97. Draupdi to chemist:105 condoms dena. Chemist:but why 105?Draupdi:in haramjadon ka compromise ho gaya hai.
  98. 1 Pakistani on'moon= No'prblm 10'Pkstani on'moon= No'prblm. 1000'Pkstani on'moon= No'prblm. All'Pkstani on'moon= PROBLEM'SOLVED! Jai hind & gud morning
  99. Maine tumhare yaadon mein ro ro ke tub bhar diya ,magar tum itney bewafa nikle ki nahake chal diye .
  100. Chehre pe haseen chaa jati hai , aankhon main suroor aa jata hai , jab tum mujhe apna kahte ho, apne pe ghuroor aa jata hai .
  101. I wrote ur name in the sky,wind blow it away.i wrote ur name in the sea,water wipe it away.i wrote ur name in my heart not evn u cld take it away.
  102. Maine puchha chand se ki dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin.. Chand ne kaha..ullu ke patthe..itni upar se dikhta hai kya koi???
  103. It starts with F, ends with K, has 4 letters & when not available a man uses his hand.... Obviously it is a "FORK" butI like the way u think
  104. Tumsa koi dusra zamin par ho to rabse shikayat hogi,tumsa koi dusra zamin par ho to rab se shikayat hogi,ek to jhela nahi jata, dusra aa gaya to kya hal
  105. Na karta shikayat zamane se koi, agar maan jata manane se koi. Kisi ko koi kyon yaad karta, agar bhool jata bhulane se koi. 
  106. Fullforms!

 CUBA-Caught Under Bra Area.

PUNE-Pls Use Nirodh Everyday. 

PARIS-Please Allow Rape In School. 

USA-Under Skirt Activity. JAPAN-Jumping And Pumping At Nite
  107. Tum dor sahi majbor sahi par yad tumhari ati hai tum saswahan lete ho parbadbu yahan tak ati hai.use chota pepsodent ab only Rs.5 . 
  108. Ab kyon lagi ho rone,

jab bacha hua hone.

Us samay to nahi roi

jab chipak chipak ke soyi.

Ab jo kiya woh bharo,

us samay to keh rahi thi

aur karo  

aur karo
  109. Barsat aye aur dharti geeli na ho, dhoop aye aur sarson peeli na ho, yeh apne kaise soch liya k apki yaad aye aur ankhen geeli na ho!
  110. Dil ki galion mein koi gham na ho,hamari yeh dosti kabhi kam na ho,bas yehi hai dua ki tum khush raho, kya pata hum agar KAL HO NA HO.
  111. Husband pani me lund duba raha tha.Wife: kya karte ho? Man: khada nahi hota, Wife; to pani me kyo duba rahe ho? Man: dekh raha hu puncture to nahi hai!
  112. Ae mere sms mere DOST ke pas ja agar wo so raha hai to shor mat machana, dhere se uske kan mein jakar kehna................. kanjara saver ho gai hai.
  113. CONDOM MFG. LOOKING 4 PRODUCT NAME.. FINALLY SELECTS DIPPER..COZ IT WILL HAVE FREE ADS BEHIND TRUCKS...USE "DIPPER" AT NIGHT
  114. Chand par Kaali Ghata Chhahi to hogi,Sitaron ko Muskurahat Aati to hogi,Tum Lakh Chupao Dunia se,magar Akele mein tumhe apni shakal pe hansi aati to hogi!
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