On the 25th of April 2000, Mr A. Wright passed his driving test on his second attempt. However, the rest of the Longueville Lads have been left wondering how, as his 'skills' leave much to be desired. Here is a list of his mistakes since the aforementioned date, which at the very least would probably be rated as a 'minor fault.' If you have any more to add (in fact we know you must have), then e-mail them to the usual address, [email protected], with the subject labelled as 'Wrighty wears P plates on his car, but it's blatantly obvious to other motorists that he can't drive.'

Here's the list then:

1. Stalling twice while reversing the car 2 metres along his drive.

2. Reversing up a curb unnecessarily.

3. Driving in the overtaking lane, when there are no cars to overtake, and others want to get past.

4. Turning right too soon, into a lane for cars going the other way, then swerving back across the road.

5. Climbing the curb while passing a car in a quiet residential area.

6. Trying to go round a speed bump, but realising the gap's far too small, resulting in the car tilting sideways, looking a twat.

7. To be announced.

Highway Code: If you see this man at the wheel of a Volkswagon Polo, keep well clear.