So wat's yer name, kid?	Catastrophe Giovino. A lotta people just call me Cat for short, 'cause dey're lazy, inconsiderate good-fer-nuthing imbeciles who don't know what it actually means and thought it would be funny tah aggrave da hell outta ....*pauses, then clears her throat* Yeah, well. Da name's Catastrophe, anyway.
You got a nick-name or was 'dat it?	*rolls eyes* Yah...I'm sure Mama really wanted tah give me dat name.
Where you from, anyways?	I was born in Manhattan. When my parents died, I went tah live wit' Aunt Theresa an' Uncle Michael, which almost drove me to suicide. Oh, dere I sorta-not-really made friend wit' da kitchen boy. Well, we're not really friends. He's Aunt Theresa's sister's stepson, 'r sumthing. Well, his name is Adair anyway, an' he helped me run away from dat stuffy old place. Some guy wit' an eyepatch towld him 'bout the lodging houses in Long Island, so heah I am.
Whadd'a yah look like?	Longish black hair, dark grey eyes...5'3". People can't usually tell wat I am 'cause Mama was Irish an' Papa was Greek-Italian. I'm real slender...looks like I would sorta sway in da wind, ya know? Well 'ah course ya would, I'm standing right in front 'ah ya. *pauses* Hey wat helluva stupid question is dis?
Got any 'ahhh, distin'guishin charact'ahristics?	Ya mean as in looks? Well, I've got a scar on my right knee when I was a 'bout three an' was running 'round da house like an idiot. Anyway, I accidentally stuck my knee intae Papa's face when he was smoking his cigar...*smiles* I screamed so loud Mama thought I'd chopped off my leg 'r sumthing. Shoot, Mama always did over-react too much. Yeah, well. Character-wise, I'm tad too talkative...not dat ya couldn't tell by now, eh? *glares when you nod enthusiastically* Ah, shove it up ya as-I mean, nose. Yeah, dat's what I wanted tah say. Shove it up yer nose
If you emptied out yah pockets on dis' table right now, wat�would fall out?	First off, I don't keep anything in my pockets...Too damned easy fah pickpockets tah lift yer money. I should know, dere was dis one time when I pickpocketed Dark- ahhh, I mean, nothing. Nothing. Ya didn't hear me say anything.
How'd you find 'da place?	I jist told ya! Ya wasn't paying attention! Thru' Adair. He's one 'ah da Long Island newsboys. I'm not gonna tawk much 'bout dat...cause da thought 'ah Adair makes me swear a lot more den usual, an' I'm supposed tah keep dis clean.
You drink, smoke, gamble...�	Oh, I cannot stand da awful smell 'ah cigars....but I drink. Frequently, I might add. Gambling...well ahh...I ain't too good at it an' I whine when I lose...so maybe ya would wanna keep dat in mind.
Related tah any'bady�we'd know?	Yeah, Adair. He's a distant cousin 'ah mine. I hate tah admit dat we're related. Once again, I'm not gonna tawk much 'bout him.
Who's yah best friend?	*thinks for a long, long time* Well, I ain't too close to anybody around here yet. Which is surprising 'cause I make friends easily. Maybe I tawk too much. Oh, well. But I'm closest tah China. She drifts around a lot, but I t'ink right now she's in Bensonhurst 'r sumthing. She's like an older sister tah me, she's really great.
Got any woyds tah live by?	Ahhh...I ain't too good wit' advice. I don't have anything dat ya should "live by". Oh! Oh! But I could tell ya 'bout how I got my ass outta trouble da oddah day! It was quiet clevah, if I do say so meself. It's dis little trick I picked up, from *mumbles* Adair. See, I was walking by my lonesome, ya know. It was a fairly nice night, a lotta stars out...anyway, *starts rambling on and on into the night, dodging flying objects from the girls who are trying to sleep* Oh, how rude. I swear, nowadays peo- *a wadded piece of paper hits her right on the mouth* Alright, alright...I get da hint. *whispers* I''ll tell ya da whole story anuddah time, alright?