"What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 34 WAYS TO ANNOY A PERSON | ||||||||
| 1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper 99 copies. | ||||||||
| 2. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down | ||||||||
| 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." | ||||||||
| 4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to others. | ||||||||
| 5. Sing along at the opera. | ||||||||
| 6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." | ||||||||
| 7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think. | ||||||||
| 8. Practice making fax and modem noises. | ||||||||
| 9. Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss. | ||||||||
| 10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. | ||||||||
| 11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy." | ||||||||
| 12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. | ||||||||
| 13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room. | ||||||||
| 14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. | ||||||||
| 15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." | ||||||||
| 16. Staple papers in the middle of the page. | ||||||||
| 17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise. | ||||||||
| 18. Honk and wave to strangers. | ||||||||
| 19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. | ||||||||
| 20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE. | ||||||||
| 21. Type only in lowercase. | ||||||||
| 22. Don t use any punctuation either | ||||||||
| 23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. | ||||||||
| 24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." |
||||||||
| 25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. | ||||||||
| 26. Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. | ||||||||
| 27. Ask people what gender they are. | ||||||||
| 28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet. | ||||||||
| 29. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." | ||||||||
| 30. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. | ||||||||
| 31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. | ||||||||
| 32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." | ||||||||
| 33. Tell your friends 4 days prior that you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood | ||||||||
| 34. Send this list to everyone in your email address book even if they sent it to you or asked you not to send things like this. | ||||||||
| BACK | ||||||||