After getting my fill of DoctaPeppa, I decided to get back to the draft analysis and the yummier half ofthe draft projections. Lets see what goodies we can find as we peruse the sexier side of the LSFBL.
Speaking of the most limber copper I know (and you'd be amazed at what those cops can do these days when no one is looking), the Las Vegas Strippers are finding better talent these days. But we ain't talking Demi Moore or Marisa Tomei talent, more like trailer park talent, which is still better than the Rosie O'Donnells that Irv Culpepper used to roll out every season. The right side of the infield has some serious pop with Mark Teixeira and Dustin Pedroia, but the left side is questionable at best. The outfield is full of prayers to stay healthy, but could be productive if too many DL trips aren't required. Everyone on the pitching staff not named C.C. is collecting social security and will likely require a few naps back at the nursing home after the Early Bird Special at Denny's before each game. You know how I like older men who have learned a few tricks in their time, but this is rediculous. I can't forget to mention the plethora of closers and catchers, most of which aren't good enough to be backups on the Quisenberries roster. Projected finish: 5th place.
Tim Ludwig ran off three LSFBL titles in four years around the turn of the millenium and it seems like a millenium has passed since Mystery Hill has been a legitimate threat again. His best draft in many years was not even a team he drafted for himself (see 2008 Hokies) and this one doesn't seem to change anything. They are a solid bunch, but they seem to be outsiders when it comes to being a part of the elite teams in the league. This team is filled with a lot of "what ifs" and could be left wondering 'what if I had drafted good players instead.' The pitching staff is a very solid group of mediocrity without any big names standing out. This is the typical "Luckwig Strategy" of piling up big bats and filling in with lots of mediocre pitchers and slotting the guys who get double starts. Of course, this strategy is a lot more successful when you have big bats to build around. The offensive discussion has to start with Alex Rodriguez and the hip surgery/steroid issue. Both of these will plague the mentally fragile superstar who so badly wants New Yorkers to like him. The infielders are good, but all have issues surrounding their production in 2009 and most will likely fall short of expectations. The outfield will be led by Manny Ramirez and his new contract that is guaranteed for a second year, no matter if he goes Milton Bradley again. I don't see the Luckwig Strategy bringing any luck this season, unless he goes for a vacation with his favorite league reporter. Projected finish: 4th place
The defending champions are always in the hunt, except when the general manager goes to Europe for half the season. It seemed like Steve Smith was in Europe Wednesday night as the Disastros turned in their worst draft in team history. Steve is well known for grabbing serious talent in the early rounds and then uncovering a lot of hidden gems in the later rounds. In this draft, the Evil Empire found a lot of decent talent early and a lot of nothing late. The roster was filled with too many reaches (Danks, Sonnanstine, Cruz, Jackson), injury concerns (Chipper, Santana, Lowell), and old fogies (Delgado, Suzuki, Lee, Rivera, Contreras). But Steve is the master of the trade and sifting through the waiver wire, always adding a few key pieces to make his squad better. Yet it doesn't seem like it will be enough to get him into the money. At least two young studs are waiting for their turn as David Price and Tommy Hanson toil in the minors for the Disastros triple-A affiliate in Suches. But if the youngsters over-achieve, the Band-Aids hold, the geriatrics find the Fountian of Youth, and the planets align, the Disastros might repeat. Don't hold your breath. Projected finish: 3rd place
The draft was held together with bubble gum, twine, and Rick Milleman's caffeine-laced fingers. Too bad he wasn't as focused on adding enough studs to his Mudslingers squad to make it worthwhile. The team looks good on paper, but there are too many question marks around to think they will be at the top of the heap in October. There was the knee-jerk reaction of Dan Haren when Brandon Webb was taken by the Disastros one pick earlier and the panic of getting Michael Young in the fifth round to avoid being shut out of the good shortstops for a second year in a row. The flyer that Nate McLouth will improve on his breakthrough season could prove disastrous as with the leap of faith that Shin-Soo Choo will actually have a break out season, much less this year. And how many Braves can this guy squeeze onto his team? If they were still a good team, that would be one thing, but they are losers now and Rick is taking his team down the same path. There is enough talent here to keep the Mudslingers in sniffing range of first, but it will probably be too little. Projected finish: 2nd place
That brings us the the Georgia Clones. Jonathan Wetherington seemed to find enough time to prepare himself and make the right selections to build another championship-worthy squad. (An extra tutoring session with yours truly probably didn't help with his concentration on the draft, but it sure brought a smile of satisfaction to his face.) Talent abounds on this squad with Roy Halladay, Chase Utley, Magglio Ordonez, Carlos Zambrano, Daisuke Matsuzaka... You get the idea. This team has hitting and pitching and could use a little more quality depth on the bench, but that is hardly worth mentioning with the talent on this squad. Looks like Professor Wetherington will be teaching class to ten other GM's this summer! Projected finish: 1st place