Life was never easy for me as a child. I was a fat little white girl growing up in the west, surrounded by Native Americans and other people that my father hated. I guess that's why he left when I was so young. I was outside playing one day with my friends Samuel, and Lia, and Michael when my father came home from work. The bunch of us had been making mud pies and rolling around in the dust. When I saw my dad, i got up and ran to him, but.. i guess he didn't recognize me, cause he told me to get away from him.

"Get outta here you little, redskin. I don't got no money or liquor ta give ya."

Well, he went inside then and started yelling at my mom, stuff about how he hated having

"them damned natives"

playing in his yard and how much he wished they could leave. But mama knew that it was me and yelled right back I guess. I dunno, I just went back to playing. Dad was always angry when he came home from work.. and that was a big lie about there being no liquor... i remember there was always enough liquor in the house for him. It wasn't long after that dad left. I don't know where he went or anything, but he left. And things got lots better after that point. well, at least for a little while. He came back one day, i remember i was seven and said he wanted to make up for things, for leaving like that... he stayed for while, and mom was really happy, so was i... but then, one day, him and mom got into a big fight... mom sent me over to samuel and lia's place to stay. when i came back the next, my dad was gone again, and this time, mom was hurt. badly. Mrs. Cloudwalker drove her to the hospital to get checked out, i wasn't allowed to go, but i had fun, samuel and lia showed me how to use a bow and arrow that day. that night, i stayed with my mama and she told some very good news. i was gonna have a baby kid to play with and look after. and honest to goodness brother or sister, not like samuel and lia and michael but one of my own blood. i asked mama

"Where's daddy? Isn't he gonna be here?"

and she said that daddy wasn't allowed to come back again. and that made me sad. but that wasn't anything to what mom told me next. my mama told me that we had to leave. i didn't want to leave my home and my friends... but mama said it was best for the baby and for her... so i had no choice...i told samuel and lia and michael the next day and we all were sad. but mama insisted so, we left. and we moved out east.

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