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NINA

Drawing by © Lonely Shell
She
sat next to me on the bus nearly every day, right next to me,
against me. Sometimes her back was turned to me so she could
talk with her girlfriends. Sometimes she sat aside me, facing
front. Either way she sat, the narrow seats made it impossible
to avoid contact with her warmth. Even when she chose to sit
alone, because there happened to be empty seats, I felt her
warmth drifting on the subtle faintness of her perfume. It felt
like I was sitting near a radiant campfire, even through my
winter clothes.
It
was her red hair that fascinated me most of all. She was thin,
short, and her hair was shoulder length, a soft reddish brown
color. The color was gentle, lacking the bright hardness of red
without taking on the muddiness of brown. A perfect match to
freckles peppered across her face
which often displayed a dazzling smile. Like most
redheads, her hair was somewhat coarse in texture, but the
highlights and shine, the calmness of the color, masked anything
typical.
We
were high school lab partners and nothing more. “We can never
be more than good friends,” she told me. “I want you to
deliver my children,” she told me. “You are very smart and
will be a wonderful doctor.” I would rather she had said “I
want to have your children.” I wanted to hear her say,
“Let’s play doctor.”
Nina
and I were seniors in the honors chemistry course where
independent study was allowed as long as you didn’t blow up
the school or make LSD and sell it. There were many late
afternoons in the laboratory after school, together, alone. Just
her, me and her perfume, which I tried to duplicate as part of
my project in Spring, near the end of the school term. I was
hoping to manufacture a gallon or so for her, a lifetime supply,
since we would be graduating soon and I knew that I would never
see her again.
“Will you write to me?” I asked.
“What? Write what?”
“Letters, I would like us to keep in touch.”
“What? Whatever for?” She answered, wrinkling her nose in
that cute way that melted my heart each time. I never tired of
looking in those pale blue eyes, so filled with sparkle and life
and happiness. Even when one of our experiments went wrong and
released a cloud of foul smelling gas, the look of revulsion on
her face was endearing to me. I thought she had never looked
more beautiful than that moment when she wrinkled her nose and
frowned at the same time
“I want to deliver your babies,” I answered. “I want to
know how things are going with you. I want to keep in touch.”
“Oh,” she said, smiling that impish smile. “Oh, sure.
I’ll write to you and you can write to me.”
At that, my heart beat faster and a flush rosied my cheeks. I
loved her, completely, innocently with every cell in my body,
but I knew she could not love me, a fat, shy, quiet boy, who, on
his best days, was utterly boring, and on his worst days, never
said a word to anyone without turning a screaming hot red and
sweating. But I had dreaded the arrival of Spring, because I
knew it meant that I would never see her again. Duplicating her
perfume and manufacturing a gallon of it would give me something
that I could use to call up powerful memories of her, since I
would keep some of it, and she would have something to remember
me by.
The
formula was not complicated, but it was a little difficult
finding all the ingredients, so I substituted whenever I ran
into a problem. Nina and I had made soap the week prior to my
perfume experiment and scented it with some oils she bought.
Unfortunately for us, we left the soap ingredients cooking while
we both walked to the library. It was one of those late nights
at school when there was not a lot of student activity. The
janitor took it upon himself to lock the lab door, then go home.
We returned to see the beaker of soap ingredients cooking away
merrily on top of the Bunsen Burner. The soap had turned a deep
brown color until we located someone with a lab key. No amount
of oils could hide the smell.
I
was determined to make sure this perfume would not suffer the
same fate as the soap so I was very careful. I tested it on
myself and sort of liked the results. I decided one day that it
was close enough to the perfume she used so sparingly and
effectively. Of course, it would mix with Nina’s body
chemistry and have a different odor than if I wore it, so I
wasn’t worried. And I had made a over a gallon of the stuff,
so I kept a pint.
The day I gave it to her, a small
perfume bottle with the gallon jug for refill, it was hot, sunny
and unreasonably humid which made her own perfume even more
noticeable. She took the little bottle, sniffed it, and then she
smiled.
“Perfect! How did you do this?”
“Just a little something I whipped up,” I said.
“This
is great! I love this scent. Thank you so much! I am going to
try some right now.” And opened the bottle to apply some to
the pulse point of her neck.
I expected that the perfume would cause a flaming hole to burn
through her or cause her flesh to blister, but nothing of the
sort happened. And the scent was very nearly identical to her
favorite cologne. She smiled and gave my arm a squeeze.
“George, you are a genius!”
She told me that she liked my formula, my little concoction,
much better than her regular perfume and splashed it on herself
every morning. “It’s not as strong,” she said, “and it
smells better! Thanks, George!” This made me very happy for
the next few weeks.
Graduation was 3 weeks away when Nina went missing. There was an
investigation but it seemed like she disappeared, vanished
without reason. The police suspected a kidnapping and her mother
and stepfather were devastated. But there was no ransom note, no
evidence of abduction at all, except that her school books were
strewn along the path to her house.
Her
footprints testified that she walked half of the way along the
wooded lane alone when the muddy impressions became mixed up
with the prints of horse hooves. The hoof prints continued down
the lane, across the front and rear of the house, then
disappeared on rocky ground. The pouring rain had washed away
all hope of finding anything more. The same prints reappeared
every day for one week after her disappearance and never again
after that.
I
was miserable too, of course. I began driving myself to school
because I could not bear riding the bus without her.
Summer came and, when it was half gone, I had a few extra
dollars so I decided to buy a horse. I love horses and my
parents had moved us to a small farm with a decent barn and nice
grassy fields. Besides, my little brother and sister got horses
and it looked like fun. I figured I may as well get in on the
fun since I was doing most of the work anyway.
Finding a horse was
no problem. Finding a horse I liked and could afford was a
challenge. But I kept at it and met a lot of people. Most were
nice but some were not so nice and it showed in the way they
treated their animals. I wanted to buy freedom for these poor,
starving beasts, but college was right around the corner and I
needed tuition money.
I
did find a horse with no name. The seller was a kindly old
countrified woman who was more clever than she appeared, a good
horse trader in other words. She also sold all the accessories
like saddles, bridles, bits, boots and so on at good prices and
had promised to keep an eye open for a horse for me.
“Why, I just got a nice mare in for you. She was broke to cut
steers, or so they said” she said in her Dutch accent.
She took me out to the stable and walked me past several horses
until we were at the end stall. It was dark in there after
coming in from the bright sun, but light enough to see the shine
of each animal’s freshly slicked coat.
The
mare’s eyes widened as we approached her, giving her the
appearance of a wild horse. She bobbed her head up and down
excitedly and stamped her hooves on the concrete as if pleading
to be let out so she could run and play. I got close enough to
her to see that she was a brownish color, well muscled and
perfectly sound. She was a tall girl, nearly 15 hands and had
all the qualities of a good American Quarterhorse. She was a
little to big for barrel racing or show, but seemed to have good
legs, teeth and a satisfactory spirit, not too wild, not too
gentle.
“We forgot this one’s name, but she has a brand on her. Came
from a cattle ranch in Texas. Ain’t that right Roy?” she
shouted over to her husband who was mucking out a stall.
Roy never heard our conversation, but agreed with her anyway. He
seemed to agree to anything she said.
“Yup,
she just showed up at the ranch, they said. Never heard of the
brand either. Hey, look at that! She likes you already.”
The mare was playing with my shirt and pushed against my back
with her nose several times. She used enough force to make me
have to try hard to keep my balance.
I
entered her stall and examined her legs, hooves, and teeth. For
all I knew about horses at that time, she could have been ready
to drop dead or win a steeplechase. I would not have known the
difference. But to keep up my image as a great horseman, I
pronounced her a perfect match for my skills and extolled her
excellent health.
“Sold!” I said when she gave me a really good price.
“We will bring her out to you tomorrow,” she said. “Think
of a good name.”
The next day the horse trailer, pulled along by a pickup truck
with a sign that read “Lazy K Ranch” on its side, arrived at
my Mom and Dad’s little farm. Roy got out of the truck and
dropped the ramp to the trailer and backed the mare out.
In
the fresh, bright morning sun I saw immediately that her color
was nothing like I remembered in the dark stable. It took on a
reddish cast, a soft reddish brown color that was neither a
perfect red, nor a muddy brown. They had groomed her well before
the ride over here, and her coat shined with luminous highlights
and a softness that seemed familiar to me.
“Well now,” said Roy. “Why, have you thought of a name for
her yet? I was thinking once that you could call her Reddy.” He laughed at his own cleverness. “She’s a
red horse.”
I stared, unable to move my eyes from her, and walked up to take
the lead rope from Roy. And just like the day before, she nodded
her head up and down excitedly and nuzzled into me once I was
within the reach of her head.
“Hey now, is she lookin’ you in the eyes?”
“I swear she is Roy. Hey, I never noticed that brand
yesterday.”
“Yup, the Cirlce N ranch, I guess. I never heard of it, but
there it is.” Roy turned to get back in his truck, but not
without asking one more time, “So, what are you goning to call
her?”
My mouth disconnected completely from my body and took on a life
of its own. I had that feeling that you sometimes get when you
are thinking something and suddenly you hear yourself speaking
the thought without realizing that you said it out loud. It just
popped out of me.
“Nina,” I said. “I’m naming her Nina.”
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