| Four Minutes �You can�t.� �I have to, and you know it.� �John�.� She knows she�s staring, that he�s staring back, that they probably have an audience; but she can�t make herself so much as blink. She knows he�s right and that the only possibility they have of stopping the Wraith means letting him go on this suicide mission. Logically, objectively, the death of one person to save the city shouldn�t be too difficult a decision. But she is anything but objective, and this is the hardest decision she has ever faced. Yet, really, she has no choice. He already knows this. �Go.� ** She�s surprised that he takes an extra second to hold her gaze, knows she shouldn�t be. Things have changed. Their second is over too soon and then he�s gone up the stairs; and she knows she�ll probably never see him again. She spares a moment to close her eyes and lower her head, begging forgiveness from anyone who might be listening. She doesn�t believe in God, but in this moment, she wants to. But there is a war going on around her and she doesn�t have time to grieve. �What�s the status on that damned jumper?� �It�s on its way.� ** �We can�t stay here, Elizabeth.� �We�re not going anywhere. Not yet.� She can�t stop her eyes from straying to the tracking screen, following the lone blue dot among the stain of red. That blue circle, barely a centimeter in size, represents so much: a puddle jumper; the hope of defeating a Wraith ship; a man who is willing to die to save them; the possibility that, if this works, she might have to order one more good person to his death. The very least she can do is bear witness to his last moments. She�s not going anywhere. She can�t. ** �You let Sheppard fly that jumper?� She can�t identify the tone of his voice. To her he sounds disbelieving, accusing, but she allows that her guilty conscience might be clouding her judgement. She manages to hold his gaze; to her relief it�s not her who looks away first, but him, back to the screen that represents their best shot of surviving this attack. Once he�s turned away she lets her head drop, needing a second to pull herself together before she orders him to help her set the self-destruct � just in case. �Weapon is armed and ready. I�m going in.� --end-- back to Atlantis fanfic |