NC-17
~*~Stars will fall from dark skies
As ancient rocks are turning
Quiet fills the room
And your love flows through me
Though I lie here so still
I burn for you, I burn for you~*~
~*~
Sunshine filled the room as Sam opened her eyes to its light and warmth. She
lay in the large bed, still drowsy and very content. The softness of the
sheets caressed her naked body. Someone else's body lay just a hand's reach
away, and even so soon out of her slumber she already yearned for his gentle
touch once again.
With a smile of anticipation on her face Sam moved her hand to run it along
Jack's bare shoulder but when she touched his flesh her arm froze. His skin
was cold.
Bolting upright Sam leaned over to peer at Jack's face, which was turned
away from her. She peered at him and he stared back at her, and stared, and
stared, and stared with eyes that did not quit seeing. His face was devoid
of colour, save for the red, oozing, gaping wound of a Hyksos weapon in the
middle of his forehead.
Sam screamed...
...and opened her eyes to the darkness of night and a stillness broken only
by the harsh sound of her laboured breathing.
She placed a hand over her chest, as though doing so could will her heart to
cease its frenetic pounding. She took a good look around, her head slowly
turning from one side to another on the pillow. It was night. She was in
bed. It was not her bed and she was not alone.
Unavoidably, her hand fluttered out to rest her fingers against Jack's arm,
assuaging her need to reassure herself. He was warm and solid. He was safe.
So was she.
Sam sighed and let her hand linger against the bare skin of his back as she
relaxed and ran through the visualization techniques as suggested by Dr.
MacKenzie. Soon both her heart rate and breathing had slowed to normal. She
rolled over onto her side and snuggled in closer to Jack, slipping an arm
around his waist and preparing to go back to sleep. It didn't surprise her
when he shifted and his hand found her fingers, but she didn't expect to
hear him speak in a low tone.
"Another dream?"
"Yes." Sam's voice whispered just below his ear. "Did I scream out loud?"
"No." Jack turned onto his back then rolled to face her. "But I heard you
breathing." His hand moved to her waist then slid to the base of her spine,
his fingers tracing circles on her skin, the sensation at once relaxing and
stimulating.
"You heard me breathing?" Sam smiled, finding the idea of someone being so
in tune with her both amusing and appealing.
"Well, you know, I always hear you breathing, but the way MacKenzie taught
you is different."
"Right," Sam said, still smiling.
"Are those sessions with MacKenzie helping you?" The lack of light made it
difficult to see Jack's face, but Sam knew his expression would be one of
concern. She'd wavered on the idea of counselling, but after a few nights of
holding her as she'd awoken shaken and trembling from her dreams, Jack had
gently suggested a few sessions with the base psychiatrist might not hurt.
"I think they are, among other things." Sam moved to entwine her fingers
around his free hand. "I don't have to sleep with the light on anymore."
"You've never had the light on here. You could have, if you'd wanted to."
"That's just it," Sam told him quietly. "I didn't need a light here, because
I wasn't alone. But now, I don't need a light at home even when I'm there by
myself, because I still know I'm not alone." Her mouth curved into a tender
smile. "I have you."
Jack's hand moved up her back, pulling her closer in the process then
resting at the base of her head. He guided her towards him but before their
mouths could meet he whispered urgently, "You'd better get used to it,
because I never want to let you go."
Sam's lips parted, willingly answering his declaration with her kiss.
By the time the kiss came to its natural end and Jack buried his face in her
neck, his lips pressed to her collarbone, their breathing was strained. As
much as she appreciated Jack being there, as much as she needed him, Sam was
still feeling a little on edge from her nightmare. Kissing him once more
she sat up. "I�m just getting a glass of water. I�ll be right back."
He caught her hand before she could get too far and brought it to his lips.
"I can�t promise I�ll still be awake," he told her and she grinned, not
believing him. He�d been there for her after every nightmare and she knew
for a fact that as long as she was awake he would be too.
Sam padded to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water without
bothering to turn on a light. The nearly full moon provided more than
enough light to allow her to maneuver in the now-familiar room. She
finished her drink quickly and deposited the glass in the dishwasher
intending to go straight back to bed, but instead she found herself drawn to
the sliding glass doors leading to the back deck. The blinds had been left
open, affording her a view of Jack�s backyard bathed in a silver glow, and
Sam crossed her arms across her stomach in an attempt to ward off the chill
coming from the glass. Her thoughts started to drift in the serene
tranquility that came only in the middle of the night.
She wasn�t aware of hearing anything and yet Sam was somehow not surprised
when a warm pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, a delightful
contrast against her chilled flesh. She willingly leaned back into Jack�s
embrace.
"Hey," he murmured, his breath tickling her ear, and she turned her head so
she could see him.
"Hi," she returned, her voice just as quiet.
"I was wondering where you�d gone. I thought you�d be right back."
The last sentence held a faint questioning tone and Sam knew that he was
worried her nightmare had affected her more than she�d let on. Craning her
head to look at the clock, she was surprised to see she�d been standing at
the doors for nearly ten minutes. "Sorry. I lost track of time." She
snuggled further into his arms, sighing softly as he began nuzzling her
neck.
Jack�s hand flattened against her stomach, pressing her back against him
more firmly, his thumb brushing back and forth just below her breast. She
felt somehow tense and yet utterly boneless as she anticipated his next
move. Millimeter by agonizing millimeter his hand crept upward until
finally he grazed the underside of her breast and she inhaled sharply at the
sensation. By the time he started nibbling her ear, his hand now fully
cupping her breast and his thumb teasing her nipple, Sam�s breath was coming
in pants and her legs were threatening to collapse, they were trembling so
hard.
She turned in his arms and slid her hands up his chest to the back of his
neck, urging him down for a kiss. His arms wrapped once more around her
waist to hold her close, one hand slipping beneath her camisole top to
massage small circles on her lower back. Sam forced herself to break the
kiss and tilted her head back, a small gasp escaping when Jack turned his
attention to her neck. "Bedroom?" she suggested, her voice cracking only
slightly when his tongue flicked against her skin.
Sam yelped as he dipped her backward without warning, her arms automatically
tightening around his neck to keep herself from ending up on the floor. All
thoughts of falling fled, however, when his lips met hers once more, his
tongue slipping into her mouth to slide sensuously against her own. By the
time he drew her upright they were both breathless. "Bedroom," he agreed,
and she couldn�t help but grin.
Jack wrapped an arm around her waist, his hand maneuvering beneath the
waistband of the thin cotton pants she wore, and they leaned into each other
as they made their way upstairs. Once beside the bed they turned and Sam
reached out, her hand landing on his hip. Her fingers slid teasingly along
the length of his waistband before creeping up beneath his shirt to lightly
caress his stomach, smiling at the way his muscles clenched beneath her
touch; he would never admit it but she knew that was a ticklish spot.
Jack, who had been running his hands up and down her bare arms, drew her
closer and lowered his lips to hers. Sam opened her mouth beneath his,
their tongues quickly engaging in an erotic duel. They parted only long
enough for Jack to draw her shirt over her head, Sam taking the opportunity
to do the same to him, and then they were once more sharing a fierce kiss as
he lowered her to the bed.
He settled above her easily and Sam revelled in the feel of his warm body
pressing her into the mattress. Jack broke away but before she could voice
a protest he was kissing his way down her neck, paying extra attention to
that one spot that always left her gasping for breath.
It seemed like an eternity before he moved on, kissing and licking his way
across her collarbone. Sam tensed as he repeated the action between her
breasts but he continued on without touching them, his lips instead moving
down to her stomach. Jack dipped his tongue into her bellybutton and she
made a soft sound at the feeling. His lips followed the path of her pajama
bottoms across her waist before he sat up and drew them down and off her
legs.
Sam reached out to bring him back up for another kiss but Jack resisted,
detouring to her breasts and taking a nipple between his lips. She
involuntarily arched her back, one hand coming up to caress the back of his
head as a breathy "Ohh" escaped. He switched breasts, the first nipple
tightening as it was assaulted by the cool night air and leaving her
sufficiently distracted by the feeling that she was unprepared for the
presence of his hand trailing lightly up her inner thigh to the apex of her
legs. Sam moaned, her fingers clenching in his hair. Jack knew just how to
touch her and it wasn�t long before she was rocking against his hand.
Using more self-control than she thought she had Sam grasped his wrist with
one hand and placed the other at the base of his neck, urging him up her
body for another kiss. Jack complied without delay and she slid her hands
down his back and beneath his shorts to cup his rear end, pulling him closer
against her where he rested between her thighs. He gasped into her mouth
and she arched against him, wanting to be closer. She snapped his
waistband. "Clothes off," she ordered, pushing his boxers as far down as
she could reach. He moved off her briefly and Sam missed the weight and
heat of him. He was back within seconds, pressed against her opening, and
with her hand guiding him he entered her with one long, slow stroke. Her
eyes slipped closed in spite of her best efforts to keep them open, wanting
to watch his face. She wrapped one leg around his waist, running the arch
of her other foot up and down his calf, and rose up against him. Jack
instantly responded, meeting her with a gentle thrust. They easily found a
rhythm, well attuned to each other�s bodies. With every thrust Jack brushed
against her clitoris, sending a delicious tingle through her body that was
almost like a mini orgasm.
He murmured her name and she forced her eyes open so that she could see his
face, his eyes glazed with passion and his expression intent with an emotion
that almost brought tears to her eyes. He leaned down to kiss her briefly
and she cupped his face in her hands as he lifted his head. She stared at
him almost as though she were seeing him for the first time, her brain
nearly overloading with the thought that this was *Jack* who was moving
above and within her, Jack who held her so securely in his arms, Jack who
was making her feel so incredible and warm and safe....
She gasped his name as she reached the peak, her head tossing back and forth
on the pillow and her legs tightening around his waist. As her body began
to calm she became aware of Jack straining against her, his panting breaths
hot
against her neck. She purposely tightened her inner muscles around him as
she whispered in his ear and it wasn�t long before he found his own release
with his face buried in her neck. Sam ran the fingers of one hand through
his hair, drawing random patterns on his back while he pressed lazy,
open-mouthed kisses along her shoulder.
Eventually Jack shifted off her and she stretched languidly before snuggling
against him, her head resting just below his shoulder and a leg sliding to
rest over his, one arm settling across his waist. He wrapped both arms
around her, his hand rubbing her arm, and Sam sighed in contentment.
"Think you�ll have any more problems with nightmares tonight?"
His chest rumbled softly beneath her ear and Sam smiled, turning her head to
kiss his chest. "Somehow I don�t think that�ll be a problem."
Jack�s arms tightened in a hug and she burrowed even further into his
embrace. Feeling relaxed and sleepy and safe, Sam allowed his gentle
caresses to lead her into sleep.
~*~
"Let's try it again."
Sam nodded in agreement and stepped back to the designated spot, replacing
her protective glasses before accepting the Hyksos weapon from Caelan.
Lifting it into position she aimed at the target set up some distance away
in their makeshift outdoor lab and focused.
They had spent the last several hours working with the weapon trying to gain
knowledge of not only how it operated, but also its capabilities. Sam had
had some difficulty at first -- as with the Goa'uld healing and hand
devices, she couldn't always control it at will -- but as the morning melted
into early afternoon she had found it becoming easier.
Her work with Caelan thus far had yielded a great deal more information than
she'd been expecting. The most surprising thing was the knowledge that the
intensity of the Hyksos weapon could actually be controlled by the person
using it; so far Sam had been able to produce energy outputs with the
resulting destruction ranging from that equaling a grenade blast to the
hole she'd inadvertently blown in the wall of Caelan's lab several weeks
earlier. Despite her efforts she had yet to produce a beam fine enough to
match the distinctive mark SG-1 had noticed on the victims of P4R 284.
Sam felt the now-familiar build up of heat and energy throughout the
entirety of her body before it was released in a palpable wave that left her
shaky in its wake. The use of Goa'uld technology had always left her
feeling a bit drained and the Hyksos weapon was proving no different;
prolonged use of it was beginning to take its toll and Sam could feel her
focus slipping, a fact that was reflected by the rather large, undefined
hole in the target. They had been trying to narrow the focus of the weapon,
something that required greater concentration. Sam suspected that she'd
soon have to take a break.
"The duration and intensity of this blast were both lower," Caelan advised,
studying his equipment critically. "How did it feel?"
"Unfocused," she admitted, moving to see the data for herself. She eyed the
charred target. "It seems I was still able to do some damage though."
Caelan grinned broadly. "Just a bit," he cheerfully agreed. He cocked his
head. "You've been firing this thing for hours. Maybe you should take a
bit of a break?" he suggested.
Sam nodded and carefully set the weapon aside. "I'd like to study the data
for a while," she confessed. "I think we have enough to work with for now."
She pulled a chair over next to the monitoring equipment and reached for
the laptop she'd brought with her.
They were deep in discussion over the significance of a power spike that
occurred immediately before it discharged when a familiar voice interrupted.
"How's it going, campers?"
Sam looked up, a smile stealing across her lips even before she saw him.
"Colonel."
"Carter," he acknowledged with a barely detectable grin before he turned to
her companion. "Balfour. How goes the research?"
"Quite well, Colonel O'Neill. With Sam's abilities we've been able to
gather an astounding amount of data pertaining to the weapon's various
functions. It's simply amazing."
"I've always thought so," Jack agreed, and Sam blushed when she turned to
find his warm gaze on her when he spoke. She lowered her head, letting the
threatening smile bloom. "So," Jack continued, bringing his hands together
with a loud clap, "by my calculations you've both been working non-stop
since this morning. How about you update me over lunch?"
"Sounds good sir." Although Sam wasn't sure which she found more appealing:
the Taicligh dessert with which she'd fallen in love a few weeks earlier or
spending an hour in company of the man with whom she'd fallen in love
several years before. The combination of the two was simply too tempting to
pass up. "We need to secure a few things before we can leave. Meet you in
the dining hall in half an hour?"
"I'll see you there." With another faint smile in her direction and a final
nod at Caelan, Jack sauntered off in the direction from which he'd appeared.
Sam watched him for a few seconds before turning back to Caelan, finding the
man with a bemused look on his face. "What?" she asked, wondering what she
had missed.
"You two," he said, gesturing from her to Jack's now barely visible form.
"How long has this been going on?"
Sam gaped at him for a moment, then felt a blush spread across her cheeks
for the second time in the past few minutes. "That obvious?"
"It is very sweet," he assured her. "I promise that no one will hear of it
from me."
She merely smiled her thanks, too stunned and, she had to admit, a little
too embarrassed to say the words. She turned back to the equipment. "Let's
get this cleaned up." From the corner of her eye she saw Caelan nod and
move to join her, and together they shut down the machinery and secured the
weapon before leaving for the dining hall in companionable silence.
~*~
Sam trudged wearily behind her teammates as they made their way back to the
Stargate, her frustration a heavier burden than her pack had ever been.
Though the day had started out so promising it had done nothing but go
downhill once she and Caelan had returned from lunch.
She had expected that their brief break would allow her enough time to relax
and regain some of the strength she'd expended using the weapon all morning;
as much progress as they'd already made Sam knew the ultimate goal was to
duplicate the most destructive level of the Hyksos weapon. She also knew
that in spite of her ever-increasing frustration at losing her
concentration, she was the only one who expected more. Caelan was ecstatic
at all the information they'd gathered; already an entire team of scientists
was working on deciphering the energy patterns and how defensive shielding
might be constructed against the devastating effects. Nonetheless Sam was
still deeply disappointed in herself. Instead of the tightly controlled
beam for which she'd been trying she had achieved little but general and
unfocused outbursts that resulted in minimal destruction -- when she'd been
able to get the weapon to work at all.
A hand glanced across her arm and she looked up, surprised to see they'd
reached their destination. Jonas was already reaching for the first glyph,
Teal'c standing nearby. Jack had stopped her a short distance away.
"You're awfully quiet," he murmured.
Sam looked at their two teammates to be sure they wouldn't be overheard.
"It's been a long day. I didn't accomplish as much with the weapon as I'd
hoped to," she confided.
"Things seemed to be going well earlier."
"They were," she muttered sullenly. "But we didn't make any progress
whatsoever this afternoon." She was well aware that she was sulking but
didn't really care.
The activation of the Stargate effectively ended their conversation. Sam
had the GDO and any delay would not only garner Teal'c and Jonas's attention
but also cause some anxiety at the SGC as they waited to learn who was
trying to come through.
Sam sent the identification code and then nodded the okay to the others. She
dropped her arms to her sides only to find her fingers encapsulated by a
familiar hand. Jack squeezed her fingers briefly and his eyes smiled at her
warmly before he took a step back and
gestured for her to precede him through the 'gate. It was only after Jonas
and Teal'c had stepped through and they were alone that he spoke. "My place,
1900? I'll take care of dinner."
Sam smiled despite herself. "It's a date," she agreed, her spirits already
buoyed by the prospect of spending the evening with Jack. Determined to put
the frustrating afternoon behind her Sam stepped through the Stargate to
home.
~*~
The stillness of the house welcomed Sam. She dropped her bag to the floor,
tossed her keys onto the little table beside the door and kicked off her
shoes. Taking a deep breath, she let it out on a contented sigh. As much as
she wouldn't dream of trading her stolen hours alone with Jack for anything
and looked forward to their dinner that night with a tingle of anticipation,
she was still happy to have a short time alone to wind down from her trying
day.
Sam went via the kitchen on her way to the back yard. She paused to grab a
beer from the refrigerator and to also put away two wineglasses she'd washed
and left to dry on the drain board a couple of days before.
Outside Sam collapsed into a chair, relaxing back and stretching out her
legs, her drink close at hand. She closed her eyes, enjoying the still-warm
evening breeze that gently ruffled her hair. She cleared her mind of all the
equations, statistics and theories that had cluttered it during the day. It
had been so frustrating, attempting to refine her technique with the Hyksos
weapon and not making any progress. She could fire the hideous thing, she
was beginning to gain an understanding of it, why couldn't she manage to
duplicate the use of it that caused such agonizing death to its victims?
Sam fisted her hand and punched the arm of the chair. She had to figure it
out! To do so would allow the Taicligh and the SGC to develop effective
countermeasures against the weapon and defeat the Hyksos so no one would
have to suffer their brutality again.
Sam could feel her frustration welling once more. With some effort she
mentally slapped her thoughts of work away. She was on downtime, she needed
to relax and very soon she'd be spending the evening with Jack. That final
thought helped ease some of her tension. He was so good to her, in both
body -- she grinned at those pleasant memories -- and soul.
Her mind somewhat relaxed once again, Sam took a long draught of her cold
beer and gazed out into the yard. At the rear of it was a garden plot. While
it was kept neatly landscaped, it was devoid of plantings. Sam hoped to put
some flowers in there the next spring.
The garden wasn't completely empty anymore, however. The sight of a little,
gaudy, ceramic gnome made Sam smile. One weekend she'd raised the suggestion
of planting some flowers, saying the garden needed some life in it. Jack
agreed. The next day he'd brought her the gnome.
"I want you to have *a gnome* here," he'd told her, his eyes serious and
intent on her, his tone in complete contrast to the amusing nature of the
gift.
Sam had caught on to his meaning and a warmth and a smile spread over her at
the memory.
She was still smiling when she heard the sound of Jack's truck pulling up in
the driveway. Even though it had only been about an hour since she'd parted
with him at the SGC, she nevertheless felt the anticipation at seeing him
bubble up inside of her. Grabbing her beer, she made her way inside from the
deck.
She met up with Jack in the kitchen. At least, she assumed it was Jack,
given that they were in his house. Only she couldn't quite see his face for
the foliage he carried in front of him.
"What on Earth...?" Sam asked, her face blossoming into a delighted smile at
the sight of the flowers. Cut flowers, all wrapped up in pretty paper from a
florist shop, and there must have been at least a dozen of them in the
colourful, lush bouquet. Their fragrance filled the kitchen with a heady,
fresh scent.
Jack's face finally peeked out as he shifted his armload of greenery to set
it down on the kitchen island.
"You had a rough day; I stopped to get you some flowers. Did you know," he
began in a tone that made Sam aware the coming revelation was news to him,
"that flowers have meanings?"
"I'd heard something..." Sam's voice was light with amusement and affection
for him.
"Yeah!" Jack shrugged and gestured to the large bouquet. "Turns out I have a
lot to say."
Sam smiled. "You're very, very sweet." She put down her beer and began to
reach for the flowers.
"Ah-ah!" Jack's voice forestalled her and she snapped her hands to her
sides. "I have to tell you what they mean."
He pulled a paper from his back pocket and after he'd unfolded it he glanced
up at Sam's quizzical expression. "I got the woman to write it all down. Do
I *look* like a gardener?"
"I don't know; I think I can picture you all covered in dirt and mud, maybe
with me hosing you down and..."
"Yeah?" The grin that spread across Jack's face was decidedly wolfish. Then
he shook his head. "Let me do this first."
His gaze moved to the pile of flowers for a second but then his eyes snapped
back to meet Sam's. "But you hold onto that thought," he commanded with
another quick grin.
His face then smoothed out to concentration as he turned back to the
flowers. His hand hovered for a moment, then he chose a stem headed by a
bunch of deep purple blossoms.
"This is heliotrope," he announced, frowning for a moment at the flower as
if daring it to disagree. When it didn't, he looked up at Sam and handed her
the bloom. "It means 'I adore you.'"
Sam accepted the flower in silence, a bit awestruck by the romantic gesture.
Jack glanced at his list again and then scoured the arrangement for his next
pick.
"A pansy," he said, handing her the bright yellow and purple flower. "It
means 'think of me.'"
The varieties of flowers in Sam's arms continued to grow and her feeling of
lighthearted warmth for his sweet gesture was being supplanted by even
deeper emotions. She accepted each flower with an increasing sense of wonder
as his gift of flowers told her of his feelings for her.
Constancy and delicate pleasures. Faithfulness. Dignity and elegance.
*Desire*. Friendship and gracefulness. Kindness and sacred affection. Those
emotions were all represented in the language of the flowers. She could tell
by the way Jack's voice had lost its initial tone of joviality that he was
entirely serious about what he was 'saying.'
In short order Sam stood with a lavish and brilliant bunch of flowers in her
arms, their beauty magnified by the feelings for which they stood. Though
she hadn't imagined it possible, her own heart blossomed fuller in love for
the man before her. The man who had one single flower remaining. He tossed
his list aside and picked up that last representation of his affections,
twirling it slowly between his fingers and thumb. Then he looked up at Sam,
his intent gaze capturing hers.
She recognized the flower. Her breath caught.
"A red rose..."Jack began, his eyes not wavering from her face.
Sam knew. She *knew*. Her already busy heart beat with increased cadence.
Didn't everyone know that a red rose...
"...means I love you." Jack declared solemnly.
There was a hush to the room as Sam absorbed this news and the accompanying
surge of euphoria it brought to her senses.
She reached out but instead of taking the flower from him she curled her
fingers around where his held onto the long stem. Shifting her armful of
flowers to the side she leaned toward him as best she could.
"Those words mean everything to me," she told him in a voice quiet with
reverence. Fighting to get the words past the sudden thickness in her throat
she continued, "You are everything to me."
Their lips met in a soft kiss, one almost chaste in that it spoke of their
raw emotions rather than any physical need.
When they broke apart Sam's lips curved into a tender smile. Jack's free
hand came up over the flowers so that he could cup her face, his thumb
slowly caressing her cheek.
"I meant it," he told her. "Every word."
"I know," she affirmed.
"Sam?"
"Yes?"
His face contorted with a new emotion.
"Thorn."
"Oh!" Sam released her hand from his and stepped away, relinquishing her
bouquet to the kitchen island so she could check his injury.
She gave a startled laugh, the levity of the situation diminishing but not
destroying the intensity of Jack's freshly declared emotions.
Pulling the rose from his grasp, Sam laid it reverently atop the other
flowers. A small bead of blood had welled on his skin and Sam brought his
palm to her lips and kissed the wounded area.
"Sorry," she told him.
"Worth it." He drew her to him for a quick embrace, his hand stroking her
hair as she lay her cheek on his shoulder. They held onto each other in
silence for a moment, allowing the newly expressed deepening of their
relationship a brief time to settle in.
"I also brought home dinner," Jack said finally. "I suppose I should go get
it."
Sam raised her head and slowly backed out of his hold, her fingers trailing
down his arms to ultimately capture his hands.
"I need to get the flowers in water." She squeezed his hands once before
moving away.
Jack went to retrieve their take-out dinner while Sam routed around for a
vase. She found a pitcher that would make an acceptable substitute. The sun
still shone brightly outside, but it had nothing on the current radiance of
her soul.
When Jack returned she was holding the pitcher. She watched as he set the
bag of food down on the counter and busied himself removing containers.
"I got Italian. Pasta, salad and garlic bread. Sound good?"
When he received no response he glanced up at her with a questioning look.
Sam stood motionless before him with the pitcher still in her hands.
"Sam? Italian? Good? Bad? Undecided?"
She just smiled. "I love you, too."
Jack took two quick steps toward her, pulled the pitcher away and plunked it
on to the counter. Then he gently placed his hands on either side of her
face and backed her up against the wall, kissing her until they were both
left breathless.
Raising his face away but leaving his body pressed to hers, Jack smiled; his
eyes shone with such warmth and light that Sam's attempts to draw air were
even further taxed. Her heart reflected his obvious joy.
"As much as I'd like to do something else with you right now, I suppose you
really should get those flowers in water."
"I suppose," Sam replied, her words at odds with the action of her hands
beginning to creep up under his T-shirt.
"And I'd better get our dinner," Jack said, regret in his tone.
"Well..." Sam's palm was now sliding between them up his bare chest. "I do
*have* to get the flowers in water. But dinner," she grinned, "can be
reheated."
Jack mirrored her smile before dipping his head down for another kiss.
~*~
SG-1 plus Caelan Balfour were gathered around a table in a Taicligh war
room at the request of Commander Kenzie, for whom they were currently
waiting. The exact reason for this meeting hadn't been made clear and even
Caelan claimed that he had no idea what was going on, only that most of the
high-ranking officials had been holding council for much of the day. High
Commander Tavish had even missed his practice session for the first time in
months.
Jocasta Kenzie swept into the room followed by Tavish and the idle chatter
came to a halt. "I apologize for keeping you waiting but our last meeting
ran a little long. In a few moments I think you'll understand why." She
gestured to Tavish and seated herself at the table as he began to speak.
"Early this morning one of our science teams reported some unusual activity
on a planet we know to be deserted. We have since confirmed that a band of
Hyksos has taken refuge there.
"It appears that they established a presence several months ago and given
what we know of their migratory nature, we suspect that they will soon be
moving on. As a result of today's meetings, we have decided to launch an
attack against this group of Hyksos."
"The reason we have asked you here," Jocasta continued, addressing SG-1, "is
that you have been a great deal of help to us since our first meeting and
have expressed much interest in helping to stop the devastation wrought by
our enemies. We thought you might be interested in joining us in our
offensive."
Sam didn't even have to look at Jack to know what his answer would be.
"Count us in," he told Jocasta, confirming her thoughts.
Jocasta smiled. "We were hoping you would say that." She pushed a few
buttons and a 3-D landscape image appeared on a blank section of wall.
"This is Laetoli," she announced. "It's a deserted planet that we
occasionally use for scientific or military purposes deemed too dangerous to
carry out on Domhan. It has been nearly a year since we were last there,
except for the team that went yesterday which, as we have told you,
discovered a group of Hyksos." She pressed another button and the image
changed, displaying a ship reminiscent of Goa'uld design. "The scientists
came across this Hyksos ship about half a day's walk from the Stargate.
They estimate there are half-a-hundred of them on the planet. It also
appears that the Hyksos are preparing to leave soon and so we must strike
within the next few days."
High Commander Tavish took over. "We have already assembled a team of our
best soldiers. Our plan is to use the Stargate to arrive on Laetoli late in
its night cycle and reach the ship just before sunrise. We have discovered
one weakness in the Hyksos which, though minimal, may work to our advantage:
their eyes have difficulty focusing in the low light of dawn and dusk. We
hope that the element of surprise as well as those extra few seconds needed
to adjust to the light level will be enough for us to eliminate the threat."
Tavish drew to a close and Sam automatically looked at Jack for his
reaction. He was already watching her and she knew that SG-1 would be
hiking through an alien forest that night. "We'll have to confirm it with
General Hammond," he said, holding her gaze for just a moment longer before
returning his attention to their Taicligh hosts. "But I can say with
relative assurance that we'll be there."
"Your presence will be a tremendous help," Jocasta told them with a small
smile. "In the meantime, however, I assume you wish to return to Earth in
order to speak with your general?"
"We would, thank you." Everyone present rose but Sam and Jack were held
back by Jocasta.
"Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter. May I speak to you in private?"
Sam turned back to the commander, hearing Jack tell Teal'c and Jonas that
they'd meet them in Caelan's lab in a little while. "Is there something
else we can do for you, Commander?"
"Perhaps," she replied. "I was talking to Chieftain Balfour yesterday
regarding your progress with the Hyksos weapon. I understand you are
becoming quite adept in its use, Major?"
"I've had some success," she confirmed cautiously, wondering why the other
woman would choose that moment to discuss a scientific experiment when they
had a mission for which to prepare.
"High Commander Tavish and I were discussing this earlier. Major Carter,
how would you feel about testing the weapon in a combat situation? More
specifically, would you consider using it on tonight's mission?"
Sam was surprised by the request. She knew how important the weapon was to
the Taicligh and how desperate they were for an advantage in the war but she
hadn't considered that they would want her to put it to practical use so
soon. It made sense, though.
She turned to Jack; as her CO he could veto Jocasta's request. It was
probably the reason why he'd been requested to stay. "Sir?"
"It's your call, Carter. You're the only one who knows how well you can
handle that weapon." His look was steady and she knew he was remembering
her frustration of a few days earlier when she hadn't been able to get it to
work. She was reminded of the beautiful flowers and all the trouble he'd
gone to just to cheer her up. What warmed her most, however, was the
confidence he had always expressed in her.
"I'll do it," she said, facing Jocasta. "I can't guarantee I'll be able to
get it to work but I'm willing to try."
"Wonderful." The commander smiled at her. "I really do believe that your
ability to use the Hyksos weapon against its own creators will turn the tide
of the war in our direction, Major Carter. But until then, I know you have
much to do in order to prepare for tonight." She led them to the door.
"Please let me know if there is anything you require from the Taicligh.
Otherwise, I wish you well tonight and will be here to greet you upon your
return."
"Thank you, Commander," Jack said, and Sam echoed her gratitude before they
headed to Caelan's lab to collect the other half of their team. In the
relative privacy of the empty hallway he nudged her gently with an elbow.
"Are you sure you're okay using an alien weapon on a mission?" he asked.
"Nobody will think less of you if you don't think you're ready."
"I know," she responded. "But if I can just focus then I think it will be
fine." She reached for his hand, their fingers entangling briefly.
"Thanks, though."
He squeezed her fingers. "Anytime." Their hands slid apart as they reached
Caelan's lab and, leaving their brief personal moment in the hall, they
called for Jonas and Teal'c and headed for the Stargate.
~*~
"Everyone hold up."
Jack's raised hand and quietly issued order instantly brought Sam to a halt,
as it did the rest of their team. Caelan had been assigned to SG-1 for this
mission as a representative since it was technically a Taicligh operation.
A squad composed entirely of Taicligh soldiers was approaching the Hyksos
ship from another direction and was therefore out of sight and, by this
point, also out of shouting distance. And that, she knew, was precisely why
Jack had paused them. If no one else was within range then what was the
source of the low voice heard ahead of them?
Jack signaled and the team of five melted into the surrounding trees.
Caelan stuck close to Sam for two reasons, she knew; he needed her to
interpret some of Jack's more "Earthly" orders, and he needed to keep an eye
on the Hyksos weapon.
Hearing a faint rustling sound followed by a sharp crack, Sam readjusted her
grip on the weapon and shifted slightly to the side in order to get a better
view. Seeing nothing she glanced at Jack, who shook his head and gestured
for her to stay put. He reached for his radio and moments later she heard
his softly uttered voice by her ear. "Carter, I want you and Balfour to
keep out of sight for as long as possible."
Not risking the use of her own radio Sam merely nodded her understanding of
his motive; if the Hyksos didn't realize that they were using one of their
own weapons against them it could work to their advantage. In the confusion
of the initial minutes of the attack any use of her weapon could be mistaken
as coming from their own people.
Caelan touched her arm and jerked his head in the direction from which the
voice had been heard. There was a faint rustle of leaves in spite of the
windless early morning. Obviously hearing the sound as well Jack signaled
the rest of the team to ready themselves.
The attack itself was sudden though expected; one moment there was nothing
but the soft sighing of leaves, the next the narrow space was blocked by a
half-dozen Hyksos soldiers.
To remain crouched behind the tree cover as her teammates came under fire
went against all of Sam's instincts but she forced herself to hold her
position. She raised the weapon and looked along its sight, doing her best
to block out her surroundings and concentrate on making it work. It took
several seconds but eventually she felt the almost-familiar surge followed
shortly by the explosive discharge.
The result was by no means one of her most impressive but it did the trick;
the largely unfocused energy beam struck one of the Hyksos in the arm and
across part of his upper chest, taking him out of commission. Feeling
slightly more confident she turned her attention to another target.
By the time Sam had disabled her second opponent the remainder of her team
had taken out three of the four other Hyksos soldiers. She trained her
weapon on the fourth man, who in turn had his weapon pointing at an
unsuspecting Teal'c. The pressure built and was about to release when
behind her to the right she heard a weapon fire, followed by a groan of pain
in Jack's familiar voice. She turned involuntarily towards the sound just
as the weapon discharged and the shot went wide, leaving her target unharmed
although apparently distracted by the energy blast, since she saw him turn
slightly in her direction. Unable to stop herself Sam spared half a second
to look at Jack, the quick glance affording her a small measure of relief.
Though the light was low, supplied only by the single moon, it was enough to
see he was well enough to start sitting up, and she'd seen no sign of blood
on him.
Her worry temporarily assuaged Sam turned back to the lone remaining Hyksos.
Only a second or two had passed since she had first fired at this soldier
although it seemed considerably longer in Sam's eyes, and Teal'c was still
in danger. Focusing once more on the weapon, channeling her worry for
Jack onto her target, she was almost surprised by the strength of the energy
that flowed through her before being released. The Hyksos dropped
instantly. He did not move.
Sam's relief at having killed the soldier in time was short-lived; even as
she was turning to check on Jack yet another energy beam was fired from
behind her, narrowly missing her. She whipped around, weapon at the ready,
only to find Jonas already taking care of a seventh Hyksos that she'd
somehow failed to notice.
Sam simply stared at Jonas for a long moment, her attention finally being
drawn from his face by a gentle tugging at the weapon still held tightly in
her grasp. She turned her head slowly to see Caelan beside her, a look on
his face that she wasn't sure she wanted to identify.
When he tugged once more at the weapon she released it, time suddenly
snapping back to normal. She offered Caelan and Jonas a tight smile before
leaving her protective cover and turning toward Jack.
He was half-sitting, half-leaning against a tree. She dropped to her knees
by his side and restrained herself from reaching out to touch him. She was
relieved, however, to note that he still appeared free of blood and that he
seemed alert. "Are you okay, sir?" she asked, surprised by the steadiness
of her voice.
He sat up fully with an audible groan. "Fine, Carter. I wasn't hit." He
shook his head and Sam thought he looked mildly embarrassed. "I took a
branch in the chest as I dove out of the way. Knocked the breath right out
of me."
Giving into her urge to touch him she helped Jack to his feet with a hand on
his arm and back. His eyes told her he understood what she was feeling but
when he spoke his voice was pure military. "We still need to complete our
mission, campers. The Taicligh team is counting on our backup at the ship
and the Hyksos were undoubtedly alerted to our presence by the firefight.
We need to be in position within half an hour."
"O'Neill." Teal'c's voice drew their attention and turning in his
direction, Sam wondered why he was on the ground. "I have been hit."
Jack moved quickly to the Jaffa's side, Sam only steps behind him. The
outer thigh of Teal'c's trousers was singed and blackened, offering an
unwanted view of the bloody wound beneath. To her it seemed that he had
only been grazed by the weapon but it still looked painful.
"Can you walk?" Jack asked him, already rummaging through his pack. He
pulled out the med kit and pressed a bandage to Teal'c's leg, handing the
other man the gauze and allowing him to wrap his leg himself.
"I cannot. You must complete the mission without me."
It took Sam about a half-second to understand his logic; they needed to
complete the mission and although Teal'c wouldn't be able to help them,
neither was his wound serious enough that he would have to be taken back to
Earth immediately. They would have to leave him here and come back for him
on their way back to the 'gate.
Jack merely clapped Teal'c on the shoulder as he rose, promising that they'd
return as soon as they could, and in a matter of seconds the team was once
more on its way to the Hyksos encampment. Sam found herself bringing up the
rear with Caelan at her side, looking strangely excited about something.
"Do you know what you just did?" he asked, keeping his voice hushed.
Sam looked at him blankly. What she had done? She had barely managed to
hit her first two targets, her hesitation had almost allowed the third
Hyksos to fire on Teal'c, and on top of that he had nearly been killed by a
soldier that she hadn't even noticed. What about that would get Caelan
excited?
He apparently didn't notice her lack of response because he continued
talking. "That last shot produced a wound that exactly matches the ones the
Hyksos use on their victims. You did it, Sam. You got it to work."
Sam forced a smile, not sure what to say. Instead of being elated at the
success of the mission thus far she found her mind wandering back. The
brief moment of hesitation was unlike her and could have cost Teal'c his
life, all because of--
She ruthlessly cut off her train of thought. She was in the middle of a
mission and now was not the time to let herself be distracted.
The remainder of the hike passed quickly and uneventfully and almost before
Sam knew it they were crouched just behind the tree line looking at the
Hyksos ship. Its similarity to Goa'uld design was more obvious now, the
alien influence evident in its lines and colour scheme. From her position
she could see six, possibly seven Hyksos moving outside the ship and
presumably there were more behind and inside that weren't visible. There
was no sign of the Taicligh soldiers but Sam hadn't really expected to see
them just yet; like SG-1 they would remain hidden until it was time to
strike.
>From the corner of her eye she saw movement and turned to see Jack holding
up seven fingers, Jonas giving a short nod of agreement. Seven Hyksos.
Jack then signaled that three minutes remained before they were to launch
their attack and motioned for them to take their positions. Sam nodded her
acknowledgement and glanced at Caelan long enough to be sure he understood
Jack's directions before making her way silently to a place where she could
easily make her way out of the tree line when the time came. The scientist
was just barely visible some distance to her right, Jonas to her left; Jack
was too far away to be seen, lost in the dim pre-dawn light.
Sam alternated her glance between the Hyksos and her watch, its readout
steadily approaching zero. Readjusting her grip on the weapon she stood
fluidly and stepped into the field, peripherally aware of her teammates and
shadowy figures she assumed to be the Taicligh team doing the same. And
then someone fired the first shot and her world narrowed to her targets.
The attack itself was surprisingly swift and effective; either the Hyksos
hadn't heard SG-1's encounter with their brethren or the Taicligh had
underestimated the difficulty they had focusing in low light. In what
seemed like only minutes to Sam all of the Hyksos had been taken care of
with only a few injuries on their side. One Taicligh soldier had received a
nasty-looking wound to his leg after being shot by a Hyksos weapon and Jack
had been cut in the upper arm and received a few bruises during a
hand-to-hand fight, but otherwise SG-1 and the Taicligh had escaped
relatively unscathed. Unfortunately they had not been able to secure the
Hyksos vessel; held off by the unexpected reinforcement of more Hyksos
soldiers the Taicligh who were supposed to infiltrate the ship had been
unable to do so before it took off, whether merely to orbit Laetoli or to
leave the system altogether they didn't know. At this point it didn't
really matter because either way the ship was well beyond their current
arsenal of weapons.
The Taicligh decided there was nothing more to be done at the moment and
informed Jack that they were returning to Domhan for a debriefing, which
SG-1 was invited to attend. As a group they headed back toward the Stargate
but before Sam could leave the clearing she was waylaid by Jack waving her
over. She detoured to where he was standing a little apart from the others.
"Sir?"
"I'm going to take Teal'c back to the SGC; his wound needs to be taken care
of, even with Junior's help. Can you handle the debrief?"
It made sense that he would be the one to accompany Teal'c back to Earth,
since he was the only other injured member of SG-1. "Of course, Colonel."
She hesitated, wanting to apologize for her earlier mistake, but realized
that now was not the time. Instead she started walking, and side by side
they went to collect Teal'c.
Having seen the two men as far as the primitive road leading to the
Stargate, Sam continued to watch them for a moment as they slowly made their
way along. Jack supported Teal'c but despite his injury, her friend still
managed to carry himself with proud bearing.
Turning away, Sam began her own short walk back to where they'd left Jonas
and the Taicligh. She wasn't walking alone, however; now that she'd found a
moment's peace all of the confusion and misgivings she had about that
morning's incident began to cloud her thoughts.
~*~
Sam strode through the corridors of the SGC as rapidly as she could without
breaking into a full-out run. She couldn't go charging into the infirmary
with all her gear, so she did have to make a quick pit stop to divest
herself of her pack. Having accomplished that chore, she was almost in sight
of her goal. She hastily rounded a final corner, only to get drawn to an
abrupt halt by a solid object barring her path.
Hands reached out to grasp her shoulders and steady her when she rebounded
from the impact.
"Whoa, Carter! Have you got a Goa'uld on your tail or something?"
Sam met Jack's gaze. "I just got back from Domhan. How is he? Is he all
right?"
"T's going to be fine. The shot didn't do any damage. It was actually pretty
minor." Jack kept his hands resting lightly on her shoulders.
Sam's eyes fluttered closed and she breathed out a sigh. "Thank goodness."
Eyes still closed she gave her head a shake. "I can't believe... I shouldn't
have let that happen."
"What?" Sam's eyes opened to meet confusion in Jack's. "Sam," he asked
quietly, "you don't think this is your fault, do you?"
"It is my fault!" Sam stepped back slightly so that Jack's hands fell away
from her. "We shouldn't be talking about this here," she said with her voice
lowering to a harsh whisper. "But the reason Teal'c got hurt is because I
was too busy making sure *you* were all right. I lost my objectivity in the
field."
"That's not what happened," Jack argued. "Of course if you hear a member of
your unit going down you're going to assess the situation. It didn't mean
anything different because it was me." Jack reached out his hands as if to
touch her again but instead let them drop back to his sides.
"Once I had perspective on what happened I should have taken out the Hyksos
that shot Teal'c. I didn't." Her voice quieted even more as she rasped out,
"I was worried about *you*."
"You couldn't have taken out that Hyksos." Jack's voice was considerably
louder than hers had been. "He was out of the range of your cover! Jonas
shot him. *He* hesitated." Jack shrugged. "But he's not a soldier and he did
a good job under the circumstances."
"But..." Sam frowned and shook her head. "I shot the Hyksos."
"You shot the guy who had his weapon pointed at Teal'c and was ready to
finish off his buddy's work. You *saved* Teal'c."
Sam felt much of her tension drain away but she was not yet untroubled. "I
still hesitated," she said stubbornly.
"It's been a long day." Jack's tone was gentle. "Why don't we just go home
and relax and discuss it in the morning?"
"I am tired," Sam acknowledged. "I think I'd better just go to my house and
get some rest." She managed a wan smile for him. "I have to go home
sometime, or the neighbours will begin to wonder..."
"Okay." Jack nodded slowly. "Good night, Sam," he bade in a soft voice.
"Good night," she echoed, trying her best to ignore the regret in his eyes
as he turned and walked away.
~*~
Sam drifted aimlessly through her house. Her mind was unfocused, her
emotions were in tangles; she was unable to concentrate on any one task.
Rain beat heavily on the windows, the storm carrying none of the summer's
warmth. Sam had built a fire to ward off the chill, though she thought most
of the cold might actually be stored in her heart.
She returned to her seat before the fire, picking up the glass of wine she'd
abandoned twice before. The fire and a single candle she'd lit were her only
attempts at dispelling the gloom in her house.
It would be easy enough to flick on the light switch and instantly brighten
her environment. If only the same could be done with her mind and her heart.
A sip of wine tasted bitter on her tongue and Sam left the glass behind for
good as she rose again from her chair. She turned her back to the fire to
wander over to the window. The pane of glass was cool where she rested her
forehead against it as she looked out upon the rain driving hard onto the
ground, the wind whipping the leaves and tree branches into a frenzied
dance.
Her soul was in tumult equal to the storm.
Loving Jack O'Neill was easy. Being in love with him, under their current
circumstances, was agony.
Their subterfuge, the hiding of their relationship, was wrong. But Sam knew
her feelings for Jack, her love for him and their love for one another,
could not be denied.
So where did that leave her? Where did it leave Jack?
Where were *they* to go from there?
She couldn't give up Jack. He was a part of her now; there was too much of
him that had become entwined around her heart. Yet they couldn't keep going
as they were. No matter the assurances Jack had given her about the incident
during the Taicligh raid, Sam knew her every action was being coloured by
her awareness of Jack and by her constant concern for his well-being.
More so than it had been before? Sam asked herself. She wasn't sure. Of
course she'd somehow, in some way, always loved Jack. Maybe her total
realization of that love was now simply making her second-guess her actions.
Perhaps her emotions weren't actually affecting her job performance, it was
just *her* worry that might be the case. She was tormenting herself over an
issue that might not actually be a concern.
Therein lay the problem.
Sam straightened away from the window, reaching out a finger to trace a
raindrop dashing across the other side of the pane. She needed to get some
perspective on her situation. She knew, and had probably known deep-down
from the outset, that the best thing either Jack or she could do for their
relationship was for one of them to leave SG-1. The inevitability was simple
catching up with them.
She wouldn't allow it to be Jack who left the team. It was his team and it
was where he belonged. It needed *him*.
The thing was, right now SG-1 needed her as well. Simply by virtue of her
permanent gift of a protein marker from Jolinar, Sam was the one who could
help crack the mystery of the Hyksos weaponry. Doing so would help the
Taicligh win their fight and eradicate any Hyksos threat against Earth. She
couldn't abandon her work with Caelan or the Taicligh.
Caelan...
The Taicligh...
Sam turned suddenly from the window then slowly retraced her earlier path to
her chair. She sat down and spent long minutes staring at the fire,
considering. Finally she rose, banked the fire for the night and delivered
her wine glass to the kitchen sink.
She went to bed. She'd want to get a good night's sleep in order to make her
request to General Hammond in the morning.
~*~
Coming soon: Consumed By You - Smoulder
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