PG-13
~*~
An incessant chiming disturbed Jack's comfortable doze. Throwing an arm off
the sofa he groped blindly for the remote. When his fingers curled around
the device he realized the sound wasn't coming from the TV. Someone was at
the door.
Jack's eyes opened as he came fully awake. One glance at the clock told him
it was late. Very late. Way too late for a fundraiser or salesperson to be
knocking at the door.
That meant either he was in trouble, or someone else was.
He swung himself up and off the couch and made his way to the front door,
wariness marring his features with a frown.
After cracking open the door, his expression changed to one of concern.
"Carter?"
She stood on his doorstep, looking at him with wide eyes. Dressed in baggy
sweats and jacket, her hair tousled and untamed, she appeared so weary he
almost questioned how she could hold herself upright. Immediately he pulled
the door open and gently put a hand to her arm to usher her inside.
Shutting the door, he turned to face her, holding her lightly by the
shoulders. He worriedly scanned her face. "What's wrong?"
She drew a tremulous breath and closed her eyes, her head falling forward.
Then she moved her shoulders slightly against his hands as if drawing
strength from his touch and raised her head. Her disquieted gaze met his.
She spoke in a whisper but her words were clear.
"I don't want to wake up from my nightmares alone anymore."
Jack ached to put his arms around her and draw her close, to tell her he'd
hold her through the night and keep the dreams at bay. But she'd made clear
the parameters of their relationship. Yet she'd come to him, in the night,
seeking solace from a friend and that was someone he could also be.
"You don't have to be alone. You can stay here." He moved a hand to her back to lead her further into the house. "I'll make up the guest room."
Sam shook her head. "No. I don't want to sleep."
"Okay. We can talk. Or just hang out." Whatever she wanted; he was there.
"Go sit down," he said, nodding toward the living room. "I can make you a
coffee. Or maybe tea? That might be better. Let me see if I've got some."
Jack was walking into the kitchen as he talked. He opened a cupboard door
and rifled through the contents.
"Ah-ha. Here." His hands closed over a small tin and he lifted it down,
turning to place it on the kitchen island.
"I don't want tea." Sam's voice came from behind; she had followed him in
from the hallway.
"Okay." Jack didn't turn around as he was mentally cataloguing what else he
had to offer her. "Hot chocolate? Hot milk?"
"Jack."
Her hand came to rest on his shoulder and he froze at her use of his name,
at her unexpected touch.
"I don't want anything to drink."
Slowly, he turned to face her. She didn't drop her hand as he moved but let
it trail down his arm.
Jack swallowed, suddenly uncertain of everything. "What do you want?"
"You," she whispered. Her voice was soft but the burning in her gaze
conveyed the intensity of the single word. "I need you."
"I'm here," Jack replied without hesitation. A corner of his mind noted some
surprise that he could speak, considering his heart was lodged somewhere in
his throat.
She took a step forward, closing the distance between them. His arms came
around her simply to offer some comfort but she swayed toward him and tilted
her head back. Her expression was one of both trepidation and another
feeling he recognized from P4R 284: hunger. He was familiar with that need
as he was afflicted by it himself and he answered it in the way his whole
being was calling out for him to do, with a kiss.
Part of him had still been uncertain of Sam's intentions but when he put his
mouth to hers his last worries were obliterated by her response.
Her arms shot around him and she pressed the length of her body to his. A
small cry escaped her lips between their kisses, which at her urging came
quicker and became more demanding. The blood roared in Jack's head as his
hands moved about her waist, down over her hips and back up again. When she dragged her hands over his chest to the hem of his T-shirt and back up
underneath it he swallowed a moan by ending a kiss and replacing his mouth
on the smooth skin of her neck. She arched backward to accommodate him,
pressing against him below the waist in the process and eliciting from him
an audible groan.
When her fingers found the waistband of his jeans and began to slide
underneath some shred of sanity returned to Jack and he abruptly tore his
mouth from hers and pulled away. She gazed at him, her eyes heavy-lidded
with unrepentant desire, her breaths coming as fast and hard as his own.
"Sam..." He managed to say her name intelligibly, which was an enormous feat
considering her fingers were still brushing the skin *below* his waist.
Despite what he had to say to her, he couldn't help caressing her along her
hips, his hands burning with the need to reach down and cup her lower...
Jack gave his head a quick shake. "Two weeks ago you were sure--"
Her finger suddenly pressed lightly over his lips to mute him. "Shhh. Two
weeks ago I was scared. I ran from you and hid behind the regulations. I was
wrong." She traced over the contours his mouth with her thumb.
Bringing up a hand Jack captured her fingers and planted a kiss in her palm.
"I don't want you to regret anything."
Sam smiled at him then; her radiant smile made his world explode into
brightness.
"I only regret the time we've wasted," she said softly. "This is right.
We're right. I want us. I want you."
Jack wasn't sure what incomprehensible words he muttered before his mouth
dove to cover hers. He didn't want her to regret any more wasted time.
His hands slipped down to cup her rear and she lifted one leg, running it
along the outside of his and hooking it around his upper thigh. Jack leaned
forward slightly in order to bear her weight and then picked her up,
pressing her against himself. She quickly wrapped both arms and legs around
him and her quiet little moan was almost his undoing before he turned and
placed her on the island countertop.
Their kisses and touches intensified until Jack's breathing became ragged.
He paused and pulled away, suddenly amazed at the sight before him. Sam --
Samantha Carter! -- sat leaning back on her arms, her long legs dangling in
the air, her beautiful self waiting for him.
"I have dreamed about this for so long," he told her in an unhurried voice,
his head moving close to hers so he could speak quietly into her ear. "I am
in awe of it actually happening. I am amazed and...so incredibly happy you
want me."
Jack felt Sam's hands on his face and his head was pushed away. She held
onto him with both hands cupping his jaw line and he was astounded to see
her eyes glistening with tears.
"I want you," she told him solemnly. A quick smile broke the serious look as
she pushed herself against him, illustrating her point with undeniable body
language. "Now." Then she quickly sobered again. "Now and always, Jack."
She pulled his face down for a kiss. It was a while before any further words
were exchanged between them. They came together as familiar souls meeting
for the first time in a different way.
Sam's head had come to rest on Jack's shoulder and his fingers traced small
circles at the base of Sam's spine as his senses slowly returned to normal.
No, not to normal, just to a more mellowed state of euphoria.
He was trying to find the words to express the wonder he was feeling when
Sam placed a soft kiss on his cheek, ran her hands lightly up his chest and
gently pushed him away by the shoulders.
Slipping down from the countertop she gathered up her discarded clothing and
dashed out to the hallway, all without saying a word, without meeting his
eyes.
The pleasant humming in his veins turned to an icy chill. That wasn't the
reaction he'd anticipated. He'd expected some tenderness, soft words, a shy
smile, an emotional conclusion to such mind-blowing sex.
Hell, it hadn't even been sex, it had been making love. Jack wasn't a
fanciful guy, but what they'd done and shared was so much more than a quick
bang, more than a release of long pent-up tension.
It had been oh, so much more.
Jack slowly did up his jeans then planted his palms on the countertop and
leaned forward. It couldn't be possible that Sam hadn't experienced the
emotional connection of the act, could it? She said she'd have no regrets.
Oh no. Jack's arms began to shake and he pushed himself away from the
counter. Sam had still been experiencing some distress from P4R 284. Her
very appearance at his house that night attested to that. Had he taken
advantage of her?
He noticed with some detachment that they'd knocked the container of tea to
the floor during their lovemaking. He had to call it that; he couldn't lessen what he'd experienced with her. Yet as he bent down to collect the tea bags scattered about he began berating himself with each one he picked up.
What a jerk he was! He hadn't even the courtesy to bring her to his bed.
He'd tossed her up on the counter in his impatience. That was only one step
up from doing it in the dirt like had almost happened on P4R 284.
Jack rose with the refilled container of tea, slamming it onto the counter.
Sam was still fighting the demons that had followed her from P4R 284, for
crying out loud. Running a trembling hand through his hair, Jack cursed
himself repeatedly. He'd taken advantage of her, plain and simple. He was an
ass. He was a selfish bastard. An ignominious prick.
Filling a glass with water from the tap he downed it, the drink assuaging
his thirst but no thoughts easing his conscience. Was Sam distraught? Was
she hiding in the bathroom, remorseful and sickened by what had happened
between them? Did she hate him for it?
Not that. Please, not that. Jack buried his face in his hands. He'd leave
the SGC. He'd present himself for disciplinary action if she wanted. He
deserved the court martial. But please, don't let her hate him. He couldn't
bear it.
Jack straightened, staring into nothing. Should he go to her, apologize, see what consolation he could offer? Or had she already left, sneaking out of his house into the night? Who would she turn to now? Who could be the friend
in need that he so clearly had not been? What would she--
A pair of hands slid around his waist from behind and travelled up his still-naked chest, startling Jack from his self-recriminations. He must have jumped at her touch as a soft chuckle sounded over his shoulder. He turned to find Sam bestowing a gentle smile upon him; her arms still wound loosely about him.
"Sorry I disappeared. I just needed a moment after...wow," she said quietly,
mouth widening to a full-fledged grin. That smile tugged at the knots tying
Jack's stomach, giving hope room to breathe.
He lifted a hand to her face, gently caressing her cheek. "Are you okay?"
"Okay?" She shook her head, but her smile didn't lessen. "I'm...wonderful.
Amazing."
Jack felt a grin of his own tease at the corners of his mouth. "Yeah. You are."
Suddenly, Sam's smile faltered and a hint of worry creased her brow. "What
about you?" she asked.
"I'm..." He wanted to quickly alleviate the doubt she wore but still needed the perfect words to describe his current state of being. "...astounded. Ecstatic. Overjoyed."
Her smile flared back into existence and a brilliance that had been missing
from her eyes the past couple of weeks returned. Jack's lingering uncertainty and fear dissipated like sparks from a fire being extinguished in the air.
"You forgot incredible." Sam murmured. "You are."
"You're beautiful," he returned. "I don't know how I got to be so lucky."
Sam pulled his head down to hers and they shared a tender kiss. When they
parted she met his eyes and told him, "You've made me very happy, Jack."
"That's all I ever want to do," came his earnest reply.
He was given a radiant smile that almost made up for the fact that she stepped away from him, denying him the feeling of her body pressed against his. It did, however, afford him a clear view of her standing only half-dressed before him and he took the opportunity to unabashedly check her out.
She was clad only in her white tank top and a scrap of lacey underwear the
exact colour of green as the BDUs they wore. Jack felt a definite strong
stirring of arousal. Did she wear those to work, under her uniform? How was
he going to stop thinking about that on missions now?
But he knew he would be able to balance work and a personal life with Sam,
if that's where the night was leading. He'd long been living with fantasies;
the reality was such a blessing he'd do whatever it took to hold onto it.
Sam put her hands on her hips as his leering continued overlong. "I'm going," she announced.
"Going! Sam, stay. Please? We need to talk."
"No!" she laughed. "I'm going to *bed*."
"Oh." Jack was immensely relieved that he'd misinterpreted her meaning.
"Tired?"
Sam gave him a saucy grin. "Nope." She turned and walked out of the kitchen
with a provocative sway of her hips.
His eyes widened with understanding and Jack hurried to follow.
~*~
"Netu?"
"No!" Jack sounded mildly affronted. "I was not having fantasies about you
when we were in hell."
They sat on his living room floor with Jack leaning back against the sofa and Sam between his legs leaning back against him. She was dressed in a borrowed T-shirt and shorts he'd loaned her after they'd finally emerged from the bedroom for showers late that morning.
"I didn't think so," Sam assured him, selecting another slice of pizza from
the box that sat open beside them.
"Well...unless you count after the fact."
"You're bad!"
"Hey! It was on the ship coming home after I knew we were safe. I'd been
worried about you, then I wanted to be able to hold you and help you after
all you'd been through. That idea sort of led to a few thoughts about groping."
Sam smacked his leg.
"Okay, my turn," Jack announced. "What about...Anubis' ship when we crashed into the ocean?"
"If we're counting after-the-fact then yes."
"Really?" Jack was intrigued.
"Well, yeah. After the corridor flooded and I saw you with your clothes
soaking wet and clinging to you..."
Jack eased her off of his chest and got to his knees. "Come on," he urged,
pulling at her hand.
"What are you doing?"
"I've got a shower; we can get wet."
"Jack!" She slapped his hand away. "I'm still eating. Save *something* for
later!"
"Okay," he grumbled, resuming his position behind her. "Later?" he said into
her ear.
"Yes."
His hand came around to flatten on her stomach, his thumb rubbing back and
forth and creeping ever so slightly upwards. "Promise?" he whispered.
Sam's head fell back to rest on his shoulder. Her eyes were closed. "Yes,"
she breathed out.
Jack took that as an immediate invitation but just as his hand was about to
reach its goal she moved her hand to still him.
"It's my turn again." She smiled but didn't yet open her eyes.
"Go ahead," he relented.
"The mission when we reprogrammed the Tobin mine on the Tok'ra cargo ship."
"Oh. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah."
"Really?"
"Come on, Sam. You were lying on the floor under that mine, wiggling your
body all around trying to fix that thing." Jack smiled at the memory. "What
was I supposed to think about?"
"Maybe that we were about to die?"
Jack shrugged. "Might as well go out with good thoughts."
"And my dad was there!" Sam opened her eyes to look up at him.
"Well, he wasn't standing right beside me," Jack said defensively. "That might have changed things."
Sam raised a brow. "Does he scare you?"
"Sometimes."
"He likes you, Jack."
"Would he like me doing this?" Jack turned his head to place a kiss against
her lips.
Sam's eyes were closed again. "I don't think he'd mind," she murmured.
"He was a General, Sam. I don't think he'd be too thrilled about us having
an illicit relationship."
"Being a Tok'ra has mellowed him. I think he'd want us to be happy."
They were both silent for a moment until Sam sat forward and turned herself
around to look at him.
"Is that what we're going to do?" she asked quietly. "Have an illicit relationship?"
"Is that what you want?" Jack's heart pounded ominously in his chest.
"No." Sam sighed. "In a perfect world, no. But it's not a perfect world and
I'm *not* willing to let you go."
The fierceness of her tone made Jack's heart swell with hope and relief and
an even stronger but not yet voiced emotion he felt for her.
He couldn't help but reach out a hand to smooth his thumb over her cheek.
"Where does that leave us?"
"I won't let you resign from SG-1." Sam was adamant.
Jack met her gaze evenly. "Ditto."
A wry smile twisted Sam's mouth. "We work for a highly classified military
operation. We're very good at keeping secrets."
"Can you keep one more?"
"If it means having you, yes, I can," she said determinedly.
Knowing the decision came at a cost of ethics to her and sharing the feeling
himself, Jack reached out and pulled her close. She lay her head against his
shoulder and he brushed some stray tendrils of hair from her face. "It won't
be forever," he promised.
"I know. And I know we can handle it." She gave a gentle laugh. "Judging by
how I've been acting around you the past couple of weeks, I think we'll be
better together than apart."
Jack smiled. "Definitely better together."
He felt her fingers come up to gently trace along his jaw. "But...if
something happens, if we can't handle the secrecy..?"
"When something happens, we'll deal with it. Together. Okay?"
Sam raised her head to look at him, her eyes full of trust and acceptance.
"Okay," she said, then she pulled his head down for a kiss.
The kiss continued and deepened and when Sam leaned into him Jack pulled her closer to straddle his hips.
Their passion heightened. Neither reflected on the fact that when discussing
future eventualities that might adversely affect their relationship Jack had
said "when", not "if".
~*~
--end--
Coming soon: Consumed By You -- Burn
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