(over the narration, we see young Langly struggling with farm chores)
Langly: (voice-over) I think that everybody has one single best memory of childhood. One perfect image that sums up everything that's wonderful about being a kid. I know I do. Mine dates back to probably when I was around ten years old. (young Langly trips and falls face-down in the mud) And it sure as hell has nothing to do with growing up on a farm.
Langly: (voice-over) My best memory is of the family's old Zenith. Every afternoon after school and chores...and more chores...I'd watch TV...all three channels of it. And I'd escape. There was Bozo the Clown and Captain Kangaroo -- he was cool. There was Shari Lewis and Lamp Chop. And they were good friends who were always looking out for me -- good friends who'd help me grow up strong and true. And who would never make fun of my hair.
(Jimmy's serving the guys pancakes. They're just reading newspapers. Also note that Jimmy's the only one dressed, the other guys are still in their pajamas and robes)
Jimmy: Pancakes are getting cold. (there's no move to eat them. He sighs and walks over and sits down at his own seat with his pancakes) Man, every morning...I'm glad I'm not married to you three.
Langly: Shaking out the pizza coupons thenpanning for a little nuggest of truth amongst the dross. (glances at Jimmy, who's looking at him in utter confusion) It's a metaphor.
Toby: (walking between Langly and Byers) Oh, pardon me.
Langly: Oh, my God. Cap'n Toby. That was Cap'n Toby. ("gently" hits Byers' stomach, but his excitement makes it much more that gently) This is...this is the Cap'n Toby Show. I can't believe it! Look what...I don't even recognize it. What the hell did they do to it? (a sign comes down. It reads "The New Cap'n Toby Show") The New Cap'n Toby Show? What does that mean?
Byers: (still trying to recover) I don't know, Langly.
Frohike: (looking at needle through a magnifying glass) Blood...we're talking definite murder weapon. That's got to be some heavy-duty poison. (Jimmy peers at it over Frohike's shoulder) Get away from me. I mean it.
Jimmy: What? I'm just looking.
Frohike: This is deadly, deadly poison. I don't want you sneezing or having a spasm or something. No sudden moves. God only knows what could happen.
Jimmy: I'm not moving. I'ms tanding still.
Frohike: Just back off two big steps. You're making me nervous.
Jimmy: (stepping away) Gee. You're making ME nervous.
Frohike: Stay there. I'm just going to have a look at this under higher magnification. (he puts it under a microscope and looks at it, but then accidently bumps the slide and the needle flies off and hits him in the chest. He gasps)
Jimmy: Frohike?
Frohike: Jimmy, you got to suck out the poison.
Jimmy: What? Can't you reach?
Frohike: (lifting up his shirt) Do it. Now.
(Jimmy sighs and leans down to do so. Yves enters behind them and stares in disbelief)
Yves: What in the hell are you doing?
Frohike: A Chinese spy ring operating out of a kids' TV show? What are they going to report on -- the superiority of American hand puppets?
Yves: There are dumb plans and then there are dumb plans. And then there's this. I can't believe you talked me into coming here.
(we see that Jimmy and Yves are talking over hidden microphones. Jimmy is dressed in a large hot dog costume)
Jimmy: What? This woman with the rose-colored glasses may have been involved in these murders. Obviously, it is important that we find her or the guys wouldn't have sent me here.
Yves: Jimmy, when I say "dumb," I'm referring to the fact that you're dressed as a frankfurter.
Toby: Tell me...what's your name?
Little Girl: Mary.
Toby: Mary! Well, that's a lovely name. Tell Cap'n Toby why you were screaming, Mary.
Mary (referring to Frohike): He's creepy.
(Toby glances over at him and then nods in agreement)
Toby: Uh...uh-huh.
Jimmy: Yves, red-tinted glasses -- just like the guy said.
Yves: Where?
Jimmy: Koko's Copy Center. She's standing in line.
Yves: I'm on my way.
Jimmy: She's coming out of the copy center. She's heading to the east end of the mall. It's possible she spotted me.
Yves: (sarcastically) No. How?
Jimmy: Uh-uh, lady, you don't lose me that easy.
(he follows the woman in the red-tinted glasses. It's hard to follow in a hot dog costume, however, and he trips and falls over the railing and lands on a donut cart below. Yves rushes over there)
(Jimmy groans)
Yves: Are you all right, Jimmy?
(the cart busts and he hits the floor. He groans. He notices something red on the costume)
Jimmy: Oh, God, I'm bleeding!
Yves (smiling slightly): It's raspberry filling.
Blithe: So...Mr. Wiener...who are you and why are you following me?
Yves: Who says he was following you? Who am I talking to, anyway? Why do I have to answer your questions?
Blithe: I'm Agent Blithe of the CIA, and I'm not talking to you. I am talking to Mr. Wiener.
Jimmy: (awfully seriously. Kinda scary since it's Jimmy we're talking about!) I'm an investigative journalist investigating two murders here and I have a source that places you at the scene.
Blithe: Wiener number one, I assume. (Jimmy nods) What do you know about the two dead men?
Jimmy: They were FBI agents.
Blithe: Officially...but was that where their loyalties lay?
Yves: You're telling us THEY were double agents?
Blithe: I'm certainly not TELLING you anything. This is a sensitive matter concerning national security. I'm illustrating to you how little you really do know about the situation at hand...and I'm warning you that you're interfering with the combined efforts of the CIA and the FBI. Now...I need to know everything you know and who else knows it.
(Jimmy and Yves exchange glances)
Blithe: I wouldn't stonewall here, Ms. Harlow. (Yves looks at her, stunned) It's not healthy for your privacy. Yeah...I know who you are. Show me how badly you want to keep it a secret.
Jimmy: (defensive) Leave her alone. I'll tell you what you want to know.
Langly: I stuck it to my own childhood hero. I helped lead the feds right to him. I'm like...the worst kind of rat. I don't believe it -- two dead FBI agents -- there's no way he could've had a hand in that.
Frohike: Well, either way, the mainstream media kicked our butts on this one.
Byers: They definately beat us to the story, that's for certain.
Yves: (at a computer) They beat you to a story, but perhaps not the whole story.
Byers: What do you have, Yves?
Yves: This document Frohike found -- the translation isn't complete yet but it's clearly not counterintelligence secrets.
Frohike: Well, what is it, then?
Yves: My best guess? A recipe for pot stickers with wuite too much finger for my taste.
(Blithe has Yves and Jimmy on the roof. They're walking along)
Yves: The two FBI agents were onto you. Your joint CIA/FBI investigation was about to discover that you were the spy.
Jimmy: So you framed Cap'n Toby...which was easy, 'cause his wife is Chinese. (he sighs) Why? Why'd you do it?
Blithe: Stop here.
(they stop and turn to face her)
Yves: I doubt it was ideology. I'd say she did it for the money.
Blithe: And I'd say it's a bad day for snotty British know-it-alls. (she lifts her arm up and the thingy that'll poison her pops up. Jimmy jumps in front of Yves and the needle hits him instead. He hits the guardrail and falls over the side)
Yves: Jimmy! (she looks over the side at him and turns to face Blithe, royally pissed. They begin fighting. I'm not going to give you a running comontary, but let's just say, Yves begins to get the advantage) Kung pau, bitch. (more fighting and...Yves is the winner!)
(Yves hurries down the stairs and over to Jimmy)
Yves: Jimmy? Jimmy? (she kneels beside him. He moans quietly. She lifts up his shirt and sees that the needle hit the thick bandage that the paramedic put on him after he fell at the mall)
(Jimmy laughs a little groggily)
Jimmy: You going to suck out the poison?
Yves (with a smile): I think Frohike owes you one.
(Jimmy finds this amusing until he realizes what she said. He grimaces with disgust)
Langly (voice-over): 'Cause even in this bold new century kids need a good friend who's always looking out for them. Someone who'll help them grow up strong and true. And who will never make fun of their hair.
(Toby hugs Langly)
Toby: Uh, I'm sorry, young lady, I forgot your name.
(Langly grins sheepishly)
Langly (voice-over): That last one's important.