New Beginnings

Part 4

 

Watson wanted to make sure that Holmes was fully recovered before taking any new cases, this would be easier said than done. Holmes had been recuperating now for nearly 6 weeks, he was growing restless and board.

 

Watson feared that he would soon turn to cocaine, and so now his visits became more of a distraction than a medical call.  They would play chess for hours on end, or Watson would entertain him with stories about his military exploits.    He was therefore grateful when one day as he visited a client presented himself.  As the gentleman entered Watson rose to go, much to his great surprise Holmes asked him to remain, and so he did.

 

This was the start of the old partnership.  Watson felt invigorated he couldn’t wait to go home and tell Mary what had transpired.

 

Mary Watson had become accustomed to not having her husband about at odd hours, after all it was his professions that he should be called away on emergencies, not only did he have private patients, but he sometimes took work as a police surgeon and occasional work at St Barts.  She was displeased when Watson was so overjoyed with the news that Holmes apparently was going to allow him to share cases again.

 

“John that means we will see even less of each other” was the only compliant she made.

 

Over the next few months Watson shared several of Holmes cases, Mary didn’t mind this so much, what she did mind was the fact that at any given moment Holmes could summon Watson, and no matter where he was or what he was doing he would go.  The one telegram that stood out in her mind seemed to sum up how Holmes felt. “Come if convenient, if inconvenient come all the same.”

Watson had chuckled at this, but Mary saw it as an insult.

“He doesn’t respect you, see how little he thinks of your work, or me for that matter!”

 

“Don’t be silly, it’s just his way” He kissed her cheek as he went out the door.

“John…” she called after him, he turned to see her standing there looking sullen, he thought at first she was going to ask him not to go, but instead she blew him a kiss “Do be careful won’t you.”  She smiled her sweet smile and waved.  “I will darling, never you fear.” And with that he disappeared around the corner.

 

 

 

Sherlock Holmes paced the sitting room like a nervous father to be. He wondered if summoning Watson with that telegram might not have going to far. What will I say?  There is no case Watson I just wanted to see you. What is happening to me? My judgement has become clouded. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.  SELF-DOUBT??? Lestrade I hope you are right about this.

 

Holmes recalled how at the conclusion of the last case Lestrade had walked in and Watson who seemed flustered walked out.  “Did I interrupt something? He asked curiously.

 

“I don’t know” he had muttered, waved his hands in the air and turned sharply “Lestrade what ARE you doing here? He sat upon the desk and sighed.

 

‘I left my note pad” He pointed to the desk.

Holmes turned to look, “ How strange… I didn’t notice” He looked puzzled, then shrugged.

 

Lestrade studied Holmes, obviously there was something on his mind and it wasn’t hard to deduce what or rather who it was.  “Holmes you and I have known each other a long time, I consider you a good friend.” Lestrade came to stand by Holmes. “Please don’t be offended by what I am about to say. I have noticed a change in you recently, you had been very depressed and sullen you even refused to take some cases, but now. Now you are the Holmes I know.  At first I didn’t understand the sudden though welcome change.”  Holmes seemed uncomfortable and he shifted his weight so he was now leaning rather than sitting on the desk.

 

“I thought back to when you first became so sullen and depressed, the only thing that came to mind was that was when Watson moved out. You weren’t at the wedding; thus I assumed you had a falling out. For several months you remained unapproachable and decidedly poor company. Then despite your illness your move improved considerably. Again I wondered what brought the change; again Watson seemed to feature. I have noticed that your mood is greatly improved when Watson is around. I have also noticed the way in which you behave with him when you think no one will notice. It’s almost flirtatious. I would swear Holmes if I didn’t know you better that you were attempting to seduce our friend Watson.  I’d swear, IF I didn’t know any better that you were in love with him.” Lestrade now stood directly in front of Holmes .His tone hadn’t been accusatory, but mater of fact. He now searched Holmes grey eyes for the truth,

 

Holmes gazed at Lestrade; perhaps I underestimate this man “Hmm. It seems Lestrade I don’t give you enough credit.” I can trust him, perhaps he can advise me of what to do.  Holmes nodded sighed deeply and proceeded to tell Lestrade the story from the start.

 

Lestrade listened and did not seem the least bit phased by the fact that Holmes and Watson had been lovers.

When he had finished the tale Holmes sank into the armchair and looked dejected.

Lestrade came to stand behind him and laid his hand gently upon Holmes shoulder. “It doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to deduce that you were and still are in love with him.”

 

“Watson would disagree.” Holmes waved his hand as if dismissing the air “what does it matter now? He’s chosen his life, and his precious wife! Why I venture to guess there shall be the patter of little feet before long.” Holmes sounded disgusted, yet his face showed nit a sign of emotion.  Lestrade smiled. “Why Holmes..You are jealous!”

 

Holmes looked indignant at the accusation and gave a great snort “HA!”, yet there was a truth in what he said.

 

Lestrade continued. “Holmes, I think I am not the person you should be talking to. You need to talk with Watson. You need to tell him how you really feel before it’s too late.”

 

“Lestrade, my dear fellow HE is married it is already too late.”  His heart went out to Holmes, he looked very forlorn,  “It’s Hopeless” Holmes whispered.

 

“No, Holmes as long as there is life there is hope, you must make the choice. If you don not take the risk you will never know, and in this case that is far worse than anything.

 

Holmes knew Lestrade was correct.

 

Holmes waited a few weeks then sent the erroneous telegram He knew Watson would come he always came when he sent word, but always he had a case and there fore a reason.

It’s a matter of time now. Watson will be here soon; he will want to know details of the case. Seldom am I at this much lost for words.

 

There was a knock on the door. “Enter” As if on cue there stood Watson, looking quiet pleased.

 

Smiling broadly he waved a greeting to Holmes as he came to sit in his favourite chair. “So tell me Holmes, what case has you sending such telegrams. You have quite up set Mary. Do you know she has suggested that you might not respect me? More to the point her.  I told her its rubbish and this is just your way. I UMGH.

 

Unable to stand Watsons chatter any more Holmes moved swiftly. He came to stand right in front of Watson. In a split second a decision was made .Words be damned!

He leaned forward and grabbed Watson by the lapels and kissed him. A long deep passionate kiss. Once over the initial surprise, Watson began to respond, he reached around and pulled Holmes closer, nearly on his lap. His hands began to explore Holmes body, as Holmes tongue explored his mouth.

 

Watson still knew how to touch him even after so long a time. Oh God I have missed this.

Breaking the kiss he watched as Watson sat there breathless. Watson seemed surprise, but not unpleasantly. Holmes decided to give voice to his thoughts. “I have missed you in this way. “  It was the casual tone that struck Watson; Holmes was trying to hard to hide his feelings.

 

Watson was quite confused; he was unsure what to say. He decided it would be best to leave it for now. “Holmes tell of this new case that has you summoning me in such a fashion.” 

 

Holmes didn’t know what to say, he knew Watson had responded to the kiss, but did he now regret it?  He sighed, too late to turn back now. All or nothing. I have to let him know and find out where I stand.

 

“Watson, there is no cases. I sent the telegram because I need to say something to you.”  Holmes now sat in his armchair; He placed his head in his hands and rubbed his face as though exhausted. 

Watson studied Holmes carefully; it looked as though at any moment he might burst into tears. “Holmes, it will be alright, just say what you have to say. I’m listening.”

 

Holmes sprang to his feet, and resumed pacing; he ran his fingers nervously through his hair. Sighed deeply and reached for the cigarette case. This is NOT going to be easy.   He resumed his seat, and took a deep breath. Watson watched with fascination he could not recall ever seeing Holmes look so nervous.  The reason soon became clear when Holmes spoke.

 

Holmes gave a quick smile. “I have never told any one what I am about to tell you, this is the first and most likely last time I shall this.” He looked Watson directly in the eye. “Wat… John, I love you. That is to say I am still in love with you. I have loved you since we first met.”  Holmes cleared his throat. “I don’t know why I didn’t, no COULDN’T say it all those years, that I waited so long.  I don’t know why I can say or even feel it now.  Watson I know that without you I feel incomplete. You were right all along. Games were a waist of time if only I had listened to my heart, if only I had said this sooner. I just wanted you know.  He swallowed hard and fought back tears of regret.

 

Watson, sat motionless, his mouth slightly open, his eyes searched Holmes. “I. Holmes, I waited so long for you to say these words. There was a time that I would have given ANYTHING in the world to hear them. Watson looked away. He was confused. He knew he still loved Holmes, but he also loved his wife, he was torn, as he had been when first he met Mary.

 

“Holmes, I need time to take in what has been said, I can not respond to anything until I know for sure what I am feeling.  I know it took a lot for you to confess what you are feeling, and I glad you did.” Watson stood to go “I have to go now, but I will be back. I don’t know exactly when.” He walked to Holmes, standing in front of him he leaned forward and reached for Holmes’s face, gently raising it to meet him, he smiled a warm loving smile. Tracing Holmes lips with a finger, he kissed them lightly. Leaning to his ear he whispered “Thank you” then turned and left.

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