(PetShop of Horrors, MST3000 style)
Wong: *sees the tiger* Is this some kind of joke?
Chris: Doeeeees it look like a joke?
* D prattling off bored sounding about the contract*
Amanda: Let's not try to sound like we care that our client is being mauled by a tiger!
Chris: You know the BBB would not be pleased with his customer handling skills.
Amanda: And if any of them lived to report him, he could get into a lot of trouble.
*Tiger pounces red screen*
Chris: Well you shouldn't have gone there with that fag comment should you?
*This is my pet shop blah blah blah tonight you will find something you desire.*
Chris: I seriously doubt it.
*The little girl running up the stairs and bumps into Leon*
Amanda: Yes Leon lets scare the kid
Chris: So that's his name?
* Leon peaks at the bird*
Chris: What the hell was wrong with that bird it looked stressed.
* D: We have everything you desire from dogs to cats...to birds and fish....*
Chris: And tigers, and other homicidal creatures.
Amanda: I think that's covered under cats...
* Leons speech about D selling drugs, and slaves...*
Chris: *as D* No but we do sell tigers and other things that can kill you.
* D: Mr. Wong didn't appreciate it he returned it. *
Chris: Noooo... Mr. Wong is dead
* D: *talking to Mrs. was it Hayword?* My sympathies*
Chris: My ass!
*Mrs. Hayward: Alice was my angel*
Chris: *As D* I don't really care.
* Mrs. Hayward sobbing on the Alice-looking-rabbit*
Chris: *as rabbit Alice* get this woman off me before I hurt her
* D: This is not your daughter. What you see before you is a rabbit.
Mrs. Hayward: Yes I can see it's a rabbit*
Chris: And yes of course I'm lying.
* D: I cannot be held responsible for the consequences should you break the contract*
Chris: What are the consequences?
Amanda: You'd think they'd ask that wouldn't you.
* Back in Alice's old room* Mr. Hayward: What do you think Alice?*
Chris: *as RabbitAlice* I think it's very pink... no wonder she left.
* Mrs. Hayward: Now we can start all over again*
Chris: *As RabbitAlice* Get off me woman!
Amanda: An illusionary rabbit. Hm any relation to Rajura I wonder?
Chris: Will you get off the freakin Ronin Warriors?!
* Everyone is sitting down to eat. And RabbitAlice has a platter of veggies and water in front of her*
Chris: Mmmm celery yum.
* Mrs. Hayward: Nonsense that's not enough nutrition *
Chris: And a cookie is?! Damn wish my parents had that view.
*Mrs Hayward: She's not a rabbit! Rabbits can't talk!*
Chris: Oh yeah her vocabulary is astounding mama dada such a smart girl what age is again 12?!
Amanda: Just say no people
* Mr. Hayward: Well maybe just this once*
Chris: Daddy is a wussy!
* Leon: After talking to those women* Maybe it's time for another visit to my favorite petshop *
Chris: And maybe this time I can get a grope in!
*Mrs. Hayward: *Alice scarfing cookies like no tommorrow* Alice honey that's enough... *
Chris: Yeah!
*Alice attacks her*
Amanda: Okay Alice I see you need your space...
*Growling hissing and pulsing stomach*
Chris: I see you really need your space...so I'm just going to leave now!
* Mrs. Hayward: You said one bite wouldn't hurt her!*
Chris: *As the dad*I guess I was wrong...oops.
*The babies*
Chris: I am never buying a rabbit....ever
* D: I can see you are quite zealous...I like that in a human*
Chris: *perks* Xelloss? Oh so he likes Xelloss huh?
Amanda: Don't you dare say it!
Chris: Say what?
Amanda: Sore wa...himitsu desu!
Chris: Damn it that's my line!
* Leon: *kicks the door open* We're goin inside! * It's all creepy lookin'*
Chris: *as Leon* Riiiight after you...
* Leon is creeped out by the babies and flicks on the light they show up as rabbits*
Chris: *as Leon* heheheh cool *flicks light on and off*
* Bunnies attack Leon*
Chris: I think the bunnies took offense to him calling the Count a liar
* D: Rabbits tend to breed...Q-chan sqeak/growls*
Chris: Translation equals 'Damnit D stop flirting!'
* D's I have a contract pied piper comment.*
Chris: BITCH!
* The Mom with the knife...*
Chris: * As Mrs. Hayword* Oh Alice....Alice DIE RABBIT DIE!
Amanda: Motherly love didn't stop her from fightin' back.
* D talking about all the horrible things Alice has done*
Chris: Pay attention Serena. Alice is Rini in about 10 years
* Mrs. Hayward: *sobbing on D's lap* Don't you understand? Drug addict or murderer she's still my daughter! *
Chris: *As D* *Heavy sigh* Yes I understand I just don't care! Look you're getting my dress dirty!
* D walks out with Leon, telling him about how sweets and so on are poison for rabbits*
Amanda: Well we know D ain't a rabbit.
* The Mom sitting in the middle of the dead rabbit filled room*
Chris: That's a lot of dead rabbits.
Amanda: What's she gonna do with all of them?
Chris: * As Bubba from Forrest Gump* You see you got ya, rabbit soup, ya fried rabbit, rabbit pot pie, rabbit stew, rabbit turkey....
End Daughter.
* Eva's song...and then her very loud and long scream...*
Chris: Nice scream.
* D's intro: Why don't you come in?*
Chris: Because I want to live.
* We see Mr. Gray for the first time, he looks kinda zoned*
Amanda: Mr. Gray ain't all there....
* D: It's a very rare species...*
Chris: *as Mrs. Hayward whimpering and clutching a pillow* Rare is bad....rare is very bad. No rare! Rabbit bad! No pet! No pet!
* D: *evil grin*Climb up and take a look...*
Chris: No! Just say no man! Run just run!
* We see the mermaid for the first time* Jason/Iason?: Eva?*
Chris: Um the gills homey...
* Jason/Iason: Is it really you Eva?*
Amanda: Did Eva have fins?
* After Jason/ Ia-oh screw it! he buys the fish. D: I hope you'll be very happy.*
Chris: *as D* And I'm lying through my teeth....
Amanda: *sings* I'm smiling...while lying to you....
* Jason back at his house with Ari-OW sorry Eva *cough* yeah Eva in his pool* Jason: Are you really my Eva?*
Amanda: Did your Eva eat fish whole like that?
*Jill sending Leon after D...again* Jill: I'd be delighted to handle that paperwork for you!
Leon: Really? *
Chris: * As Jill* If you get me that picture of D in a black leather teddy with a lollipop!
* Leon brings D the fruit tart and Q-chan fly's down in front of him*
Amanda: *As D* Back off batbunny he's mine!
* Leon: You think I'm an idiot don't you?*
Both: Yeah.
* D: I can see you don't trust me.*
Both: Yeah.
* Q-chan flies down and picks off D's strawberry*
Chris: Get away from my damn tart!
* D toying with Leon's precious few brain cells about the Eva thing Leon: So you think it was an accident?*
Chris: What do you want Leon neon signs, and fireworks?! Eva is a freakin' mermaid!
Amanda: -_-; Actually that probably wouldn't help either...
*Jason: * sitting by the swimming pool* Are you really my Eva?*
Chris: Are you really annoying?
Amanda: Yes.
* Eva sits up and Jason gets all excited Jason: You do remember don't you Eva?!*
Chris: Uh...No...she was sitting up because she was hungry!
* Verse 982 of that freakin sea song and we finally get words Jason: Are you singing for me Eva?*
Chris: Damn that song! Damn it to hell! Does it look like she's singing you idiot?
Amanda: No she wants you to turn it off.
* Leon meets with Louise....*
Chris: Woah it's Washuu! She sounds like Washuu!
* D brings Leon some tea at work...to make up for the tart. *cough* yeah sure OW! Damnit! Leon: So you're saying Eva is the mermaid?*
Chris: * As D* No I'm saying close your legs so I can sit on your lap.
* Jill: *shoves the picture in Leon's face* Look part of her body just washed up on shore! *
Amanda: *as Jill*: Ah my new shoes!
* Verse 896 of the freakin song!*
Chris: Man I feel bad for anyone he's renting a room out too...
* Jason *talking to Louise looking like a space cowboy* Look you can hear her singing....*
Amanda: * as Louise* Noooo that's the CD...and I can see you need your space...that's all right with me!
* Jason groping the fish*:I will love you forever...*
Chris: Or until you eat me alive, whichever comes first.
* Flashback scene:
Jason: Louise the only woman I've ever loved is you...*
Amanda: *as Jason* Even if that is an ugly dress...
* Eva's big death scene*
Chris: That wasn't sadness that was pissed! Look she even looked back to make sure he was watching. Bitch!
*Leon busts into the petshop grabs and shakes D *
Chris: *As D* Ohh I like it when you get rough!
Amanda: You are such a perv.
Chris: Was it just me or did it look like he was going to kiss him for a second?
* D: *slouched on the couch* Small minded Prince comment*
Amanda: Small minded Prince huh? Might as well call him Darien.
Chris: You really hate him don't you.
* Verse 3 million and 22 *
Chris: You know I've about had it with that damn song!
* Leon: reaches the pool* Turn on some lights! We see Jason's torso...*
Chris: * As Leon* Okay turn em back off!
*Pan to the end with the mermaid cradling Jason's head*
Chris: And she keeps his head as a souvenir...
Amanda: Well she ain't Ariel that's for damn sure.
Chris: Under da sea....under da sea something mermaids eating people under da sea!
Amanda: That wasn't funny...