I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN

* I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts 'till 8 pm.

* I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

* I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.

* I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, antacid....

* I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go

* I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up

* I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying

* I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over

* I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine

* I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care

* I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, children, politicians...

* I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired

* I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place

* I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg

* I'm having trouble remembering simple words like....uh....

* I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate

* I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies

* I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less

* I'm going to reveal what goes on behind the green doors...

* I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days

* I'm in the *initial* state of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP

* I'm wondering if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

* I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory

* I'm supporting all movements now...by eating bran, prunes and raisins

* I'm a walking storeroom of facts...I've just lost the storeroom

* I'm a Senior Citizen and I think I am having the time of my life

* Do I have Alzeimers? I don't remember. But, I'm happy, I think.

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