| Log Snapper on being 'Dateless But Not Desperate' |
| The Log Snapper is back again to snap off the big ones. This topic is about being 'dateless but not desperate', in other words: 'single and loving it', 'happily single', 'happy one one's own', 'single and not looking', 'self-sufficient' and so forth. What annoys me is that if you are single, divorced, separated or widowed, people *automatically* presume you are lonely, unhappy, desperate. And if you are good looking and single, they presume you must be 'available', even to people you don't particularly like. People will even go as far to say that you can't be too choosy, that you must accept 2nd best, that you must be crazy, or (especially if you are a girl) that your body clock is ticking away or your eggs are drying up (I mean, how many guys get told their body clocks are ticking away or their tadpoles are drying up - none that I know of). Anyone who has watched 'Bridget Jones's Diary' will know *exactly* what I am talking about. But does being 'without a partner' have to mean you are 'unhappy'. Not necessarily. Okay, one may feel a bit sad if one meets a potential 'boyfriend' or potential 'girlfriend' and then the potential partner turns out to be a 'cold fish'. In fact, some people feel downright miserable when that happens. If this happens, ask yourself, 'Is it better he or she is a cold fish now; or would you be more upset if they dissed you later on, often when there is more at stake?' I think I know what the answer is?' Yet, what if you are really unhappy about being single? Ask yourself what it is what you don't like about not having a partner, or better still, what is so special about being in a relationship that it is making you unhappy if you aren't?' And, what if you finally secure a relationship and find it doesn't work out? How do you handle it? Do you just break it off when things get too hard? Or do you work on it? Try harder? Or if the relationship is abusive? How do you handle that? Is it better to be by yourself (but not be abused)? Or is it better to stay in the relationship at all costs, for the sake of being in one? Only you have the answer, and only you can fix it. In short, about my life, I may not always know what I want, but I know for sure what I *don't* want. Back to Log Snapper's Soapbox |