Treasured Heart
By Enelya
# 4 in the Sacred Ground Series
Blair was trying to move as quietly as he could around the kitchen as he prepared breakfast for he and Jim. He hoped to surprise his guardian with breakfast for once, instead of Jim waking him. Glancing once up at the Jim�s bedroom to make sure he was still asleep, Blair turned and busied himself in the fridge.
Once he had gathered the things he needed from the fridge, he stood up, turned and kicked the door shut. He jumped and gasped when, out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of someone standing by the fridge, but kept hold of the objects in his arms. �Jeez Jim, do you want me to drop our breakfast?� Blair grumbled. He looked over his shoulder at Jim, smirked and said, �I guess next time I decide to be nice and make breakfast for a change, I�ll forget about it and go back to bed.�
�Oh really? Well then I guess the next time I see your little butt up in the air while you�re digging in the fridge, I won�t hesitate to land a swat on it.� Jim retorted back as he snuck up behind Blair and landed a harmless swat to the teen�s backside. He enjoyed their morning bantering, when he could actually get Blair out of bed. He grinned as he realized Blair finally made the place feel like a home. Suddenly he felt a flick to the back of his head and saw Blair darting away still holding the dishtowel he�d used as a weapon. �Alright Junior, I see how were playing this morning. You want to sneak attack, we�ll sneak attack, but I�m warning you now Chief, I�ll win.� Jim said as he looked for Blair and didn�t see him. Jim dialed up his sense of hearing and looked for Blair a different way.
Blair peered around the couch from his hiding spot on the other side. He tried to keep his breathing from coming out in soft pants knowing Jim would hear them immediately. He was concentrating so hard on his breathing and looking for Jim, that he failed to notice his predator till he found himself up in the air and then hanging upside down over Jim�s shoulder. �Hey! Put me down!� Blair yelped, but began to laugh a moment later. �Noooo! Jim stop, nooo!� The teen howled with laughter as he tried to get away from the fingers that were tickling his ribcage mercilessly.
�Sorry Chief, not gonna happen. I caught you fair and square, so you�re my prisoner and I can torture you any way I see fit.� Jim said tickling Blair�s ribs again before he grabbed the foot that was about to descend against his thigh again. A shriek of laughter filled the loft as Jim began to tickle the sock covered foot.
�Jim�(pant)�stop�(pant)�a�(pant)�minute�(pant)�please�(pant)�I�(pant)�can�t�(pant)�breathe.� Blair gasped out, his laughter gone with the heavy breathing. He found himself quickly uprighted. He would�ve crumpled to the ground if Jim hadn�t held him steady till the wave of dizziness passed.
�You okay now Chief?� Jim asked, concern filling his pale blue eyes. He ran his hands up and down Blair�s arms as he listened to Blair�s heartbeat and breathing.
�Yeah Jim I�m fine. How the he� how did you sneak up on me like that?� Blair asked catching himself before the word slipped out. He looked sheepishly at Jim, his cheeks tinged with pink.
Jim raised an eyebrow at the almost slip and said, � I�ll let it go this time, since you didn�t actually say it, but just watch your mouth. Understand?� He almost laughed at Blair�s round eyes and rapidly nodding head. �Now as for how I snuck up on you, remember Chief, I was in covert-ops. We were trained to move without making a sound.� Jim told him giving an affectionate pat to the teen�s still pink cheek.
Blair sighed with relief when he realized Jim wasn�t going to do anything else but scold him. �Hey Jim are you sure it�s okay that I go with you to the station?� Blair asked wondering if Jim had been able to make the arrangements.
�Sure Chief. I already got it cleared with Simon, besides I think he�s anxious to see you again. All we have to do is sign you in when we get there and get you a visitor�s pass. Now let�s go fix breakfast and get dressed. I don�t think Simon would like it much if we came in still dressed for bed.� Jim said as he turned the excited teen towards the kitchen.
*********
Jim smiled to himself as he could practically feel the excitement pouring off the teen next to him. He could hear the increased heartbeat and breathing, but it was different from when Blair was upset about something. He heard a softly muttered �Oh wow!� when they entered the Major Crimes bull pen, and smiled more as he hung both his and Blair�s coats up.
Blair�s attention darted around the bullpen like a bumblebee collecting nectar as he reached for his knapsack and began rummaging through it without taking his eyes off anything. Once he found his notebook and a pen, he sat down and began to immediately write down his observations. He didn�t notice the amused, then annoyed but loving look given to him by his guardian. What he did notice was that gradually the hustle and bustle of the pen was dying down and everyone�s attention was turning towards he and Jim. Blair began to unconscientiously inch towards Jim as the shocked and surprised stares were making his feel uncomfortable.
Simon had been watching the scene from his office and laughed as he watched the energetic teen practically dump his sack upside down, looking for a pen. He laughed even harder as the teen sat, oblivious to the mess he made and Jim, who was now muttering softly as he crouched down and put the kid�s things back in his sack. He saw everyone else notice the detective, who normally growled at everyone; cleaning the mess he would�ve made anyone else clean. When Simon saw that the stares were making Blair uncomfortable, he decided to put a stop to it. �Hey! Is everyone on break out here? I didn�t think so, now get back to work!� Simon barked as he opened his office door. Everyone jumped at Simon�s command and quickly went back to their desks and work. Satisfied, Simon took a cigar out of his breast pocket and stuck it in his mouth.
Jim nodded his thanks at Simon and watched as the captain went back into his office. He looked at Blair, who was still looking a little freaked, and laid a hand on the teen�s shoulder. Jim bent down and whispered reassuringly into Blair�s ear, �Don�t worry about those gawkers Chief. They�re just wondering who the good looking kid is, that�s all.� He gave Blair�s shoulder a gentle squeeze as he saw the grateful look Blair gave him.
Blair settled against the chair and began to quietly observe the bullpen. He was a little disappointed that everyone was now concentrating solely on his or her work, but Blair remained quiet hoping to pick up small little tidbits of information. He knew Jim was right near him at his own desk, so he wouldn�t be able to move to far from his chair, but maybe he could get just a little closer.
�Back over here Chief.� Jim said without looking up. He had heard the restless movements and had wondered how long it would be before his little pup would get curious about his new surroundings. He smiled at the small sigh of frustration and wondered how long it would be before Blair got up the nerve to get up again.
Blair waited till Jim was engrossed in his paperwork and then slipped quietly off his chair. He cast a few timid glances back at Jim as he moved further away from the detective, but he soon forgot about his guardian and became caught up with the seemingly new language that was spoken here.
Jim looked up, ready to call Blair back for a second time, and smiled when he saw the look of pure excitement cross the teen�s face as he wrote furiously in his notebook. He watched how Blair would look up, cock his head to the side for a moment, jot something down and then move to a different location. He watched as Blair finally stopped next to Henry, but everyone usually called him H and Rafe and waited to see what would happen between the three.
Rafe was the first to notice the quiet observer. He nudged H slightly and made an unnoticeable gesture with his eyes. H nodded slightly, aware of the scrutiny from the teen and made a side glance at Jim who was watching with mild amusement. Rafe flicked his eyes up without moving his head and saw H was now glancing back at him. �Hey H, read me the description of that thief again, I don�t quite remember everything.� Rafe said as he grabbed one of the appropriate sheets still without looking up.
�Sure babe. Let�s see, caucasian male, sixteen, russet brown, shoulder length, curly hair, one�no two gold hoop earrings in the left ear, uhm let�s see uh, oh about 5�9�, I think that�s it no wait the suspect was also carrying a ratty looking backpack.� H said scrolling his finger down a sheet of paper making it look like he was reading the description off of it.
Jim picked up on the game when he caught the glance from H, and smiled as the two younger detectives continued with the ruse. He looked at Blair to see the teen�s reaction and became concerned when he saw Blair, who was still standing near H, looking extremely pale. The kid was standing as still as a setter in point and his breathing was coming in heavy gulps. Jim recognized this noise as a pretense to soft sobs. He decided to quickly put an end to the game. He got up and walked over to Blair. The minute he was in Blair�s space, the teen instantly turned and slumped against him. Jim�s left arm went across Blair�s back, while his right hand went to the back of Blair�s head. He gave H and Rafe an apologetic look, and then before he could do anything else, Simon opened his office door and motioned to Jim. Jim moved himself and his quietly sobbing charge into Simon office and quietly closed the door.
�What happened out th�� Simon trailed off when he saw Jim shake his head. He nodded his understanding, poured a cup of coffee and quietly offered some to Jim.
Jim shook his head at offered coffee as well and just concentrated on calming the teen trembling in his arms. �Shhh settle down Chief, it�s okay kiddo. Henry and Rafe were just teasing you kiddo. They didn�t mean any harm. Shhh, that a boy, deep calming breaths. Okay now Chief, why did that upset you so much?� Jim asked quietly as he continued to stroke the back of Blair�s head and occasionally rub the back of Blair�s neck.
Blair stiffened at the question, then quickly relaxed his stance. *They were teasing? Crap, Jim�s gonna know something now. I know he felt me stiffen, maybe he�ll chalk it up to me being upset, but what do I say to him?* �I-I uh guess it�s because I�m just not used to anyone else but you teasing me. I�m stupid, I should�ve known. OW! Hey!� Blair yelped as Jim landed a hefty swat on his jean-clad backside. �What was that for?� Blair asked as he blinked back the tears that had formed in his eyes and tried to rub the sting out of his butt.
�I don�t ever want to hear you put yourself down like that again. You are not stupid.� Jim immediately scolded. �Why would you say something like that? You�re sixteen and in college, if that�s not smart then I don�t know what is, but you are not stupid. Understand?� Jim asked as he looked into the teary, dark blue eyes.
The curly headed youth nodded mutely and stepped towards Jim again seeking comfort, which was given generously. The teen had been completely oblivious to the fact that they were in Simon�s office until he heard someone clearing their throat behind him. His cheeks turned quite warm and red when he turned and saw Simon sitting at his desk watching the two. He gave a shy smile then stood there and nervously tucked his hair behind his ear.
�Well it looks like he�s still in good condition. I thought you�d have packed him off to east Siberia by now.� Simon said gruffly looking at Jim.
Jim smiled a little at the comment, then wrapped his right arm around Blair�s shoulders and said, �Nah, he�s grown on me for some reason, so I think I�ll keep him around for a while longer.� He rubbed Blair�s arm a bit and glanced down at the kid. He saw the definite smirk on the teen�s face and was glad the kid caught on to the teasing this time.
�Hey guys, I hate to interrupt, but we got a phone call about a 10-54. Me and Rafe�ll head out now and check it out.� H said as he poked his head into Simon�s office. He was about to leave when he heard Jim�s voice.
�Wait H we�ll go too. I might be able to pick up something that you guys can�t.� Jim said immediately as he drew Blair closer to him. When H left, Jim stared down at his young charge knowing his next words weren�t going to be taken very well. �Chief, I need you to stay here with Simon�s secretary, Rhonda. I know you want to go, but not this time kiddo. This wouldn�t be good thing for you to see.� Jim said as he felt the young man tense under his arm. He prepared himself for the anger that was going to boil up in a minute.
�I won�t be any trouble. Please let me go. � Blair pleaded at first. He looked up at Jim with a wounded expression, hoping it would work to convince the detective to let him come along.
�I�m sorry Junior, but the answer is still no. You�re not going this time Chief and that�s final.� Jim said turning the youngster to face him and staring into the stormy and defiant blue eyes.
�That�s not fair! You said I come with you today and go if you got a case! You promised!� Blair shouted as he backed away from Jim. His hands were tightly fisted at his sides as angry tears streamed down his face.
Simon, who hadn�t said anything, cleared his throat and said, �Jim I�m gonna go on ahead. You finish up whatever you have to here and I�ll meet you there.�
Once Simon had left the room, Jim turned back to his seething little pup and wasn�t surprised to hear something like a low growl coming from the boy. �Listen to me right now Chief, and listen good. You. Are. Not. Going. End of conversation. I�ll explain later why you couldn�t go. Sit at my desk and if you need anything, just ask Rhonda. If you need to use the bathroom you know where it is, just let Rhonda know where you�re going. Now come on I have to go.� Jim explained in a no nonsense tone.
Blair steadily glared at his guardian, but finally gave a curt nod and headed towards the office door. He shot Jim a wounded puppy look, then walked over to the detective�s desk and flopped down in the chair.
�I promise I�ll explain everything when we get home tonight okay Chief?� Jim asked as he picked up his coat and patted Blair on the head.
Blair jerked his head away and scooted his chair away from Jim. �Leave me alone Jim. I won�t hold you to that promise either, since you already broke one to me. I guess you�ll be breaking your other promises now, too.� Blair said softly as he dug through his knapsack.
Jim winced at the words spoken and the venom in Blair�s voice and sighed. He tried to pat Blair on the shoulder, but Blair pulled away, his attention still on the contents of his knapsack. �We�ll talk tonight kiddo, behave.� Jim said as he left. He walked to the elevator, and as he rode down to the lobby, he sighed loudly and began to wonder if he was doing the right thing. *The last time I left him he took off, maybe I should just call Simon and tell him to do the best he can. No, I can�t. They need me to help. I�ll talk to Blair later and get him to understand why I had to leave him behind.* His thoughts helped ease his conscience some, but he was still worried about his little pup.
As soon as Jim was gone, Blair pulled another notebook out and was careful not to make a mess this time. The new notebook was smaller and had a design etched on the front of it. Blair kept it clutched tightly to his chest as he dug gently through his bag again and pulled out a long wooden box. It was hand carved and had a design on top that matched the notebook, a panther pawprint, with a smaller wolf pawprint inside of it. It had a beautiful blue lining inside and on the lining was a simple looking aqua pen. Blair sat quietly as he wrote in the book for about five minutes. While he wrote, he got an idea and wondered if it would work. *Jim won�t like it. Oh who cares, he already broke a promise to me, so he can�t get mad.* �Hey Rhonda, I�ll be back in a few. I have to uhm go to the restroom.� Blair said as he began to leave the room.
Rhonda looked up smiled at the teen, nodded and looked back down. She would�ve spoken to him, but she had a phone call at the moment and was scribbling a note. Had she been paying attention, she would�ve noticed that Blair had taken his coat and backpack with him.
Blair breathed a sigh of relief as he made it to the elevator. The only problem he had now was how was he going to get to the crime scene. He wanted to observe the police and Jim in action. *Maybe there�s someone who�s heading to the scene late, maybe I can obfuscate a little and hitch a ride there. Jim�ll probably have my hide�No he broke a promise so I can go if I want.* Blair thought to himself. He felt almost a heaviness in his heart, and tried to shake the feeling off. He wasn�t going to let it bother him, he wasn�t.
*********
Jim closed his eyes at the sight before him. He tried not to think of his sullen charge back at the station as he looked at the slightly blue corpse of a teen that had been tied to a tree and clothed in nothing but his boxers. Jim turned his face up and opened his eyes to look at the wintry sky as he swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked back the tears that were forming in his pale blue eyes. He took a deep breath and steeled himself to do his job. Emotions couldn�t get in the way at the moment.
He walked over to the body, which was still tied to the tree and frowned when he saw the black eye. �Someone must�ve decked the kid so they could tie him up. I need someone over here to collect the samples with blood on them. There�s a lot of it on the kid, but I don�t think it�s his. Could be the perp�s. Thomas were there any witnesses when you arrived?� Jim asked as he finally looked up and questioned a rather tall officer.
�No detective. I got the call saying someone reported the body, but when I got here, there was no one. I knocked on the front door but there was no answer, so whoever lives here either hasn�t been home today, left early this morning, or is the perp. I�m willing to bet it�s the last one.� Thomas said offering his opinion.
�So am I.� Jim stated bluntly.
While Jim and the others made their notes, Jim started to get a whiff of Blair�s herbal shampoo. He frowned and looked up, but didn�t see the kid. *Someone else here must use it. Blair�s safe back at the station. Well, maybe I�d better call Rhonda to see how he�s doing. He was pretty upset when I left him. I hope he hasn�t been given her a hard time otherwise I�m gonna owe her big time.*
Blair�s heartbeat began to pound rapidly in Jim�s ears. �What the�?!� He roared as he jumped up and began scanning the area. When he pinpointed the sound coming from the house, Jim blanched considerably.
�Jim? Jim! What is it Jim?� Simon shouted as he raced over when he saw Jim go white. He looked towards where Jim was looking and frowned at the seemingly quiet house. �Jim what is it? What do you hear?� He asked puzzled.
�Blair.� Was the only word Jim muttered before he snapped out of his stupor and headed for the house. *What is he doing here? How did he get here? Did he get taken at the station? I hope Rhonda�s okay.* �Simon call the station and find out what�s going on there. Blair�s inside and I�m thinking maybe he was taken from the station. I need you to call and find out if anyone�s hurt.�
�Someone would�ve called Jim. And what do you mean Blair�s inside? I thought he was at the station. You said Rhonda was keeping an eye on him.� Simon asked fiercely.
�She was, but he�s in there now Simon. I can hear his heartbeat.� Jim said . Then suddenly growled as he narrowed his eyes at the perfectly white house. He clenched his fists and began to storm toward the house.
�Jim! Get back here! What in the world is wrong with you? You can�t storm in there, there�s no telling what�s going on.� Simon growled as he followed Jim.
�I know exactly what�s going on in there. He�s going to try to beat my son, but he won�t get that far.� Jim spat out. He could hear the frightened voice of his child and the sadistic voice of the one who was terrorizing Blair.
*********
Blair huddled in the corner of the living room, behind a large recliner, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He wasn�t sure where the man went at the moment, but if he could hide behind the chair long enough, maybe Jim would hear him and protect him. *Jim please find me and hurry. I don�t care how much trouble I�m in just please get here soon.* Blair thought knowing Jim couldn�t hear his thoughts. He heard heavy footsteps headed towards him and opened his eye a crack and then immediately wished he hadn�t. The large chair was shoved aside and Landon Jackson stood there sneering at the frightened teenager.
�Get up you sniveling coward. Why are all of you such sniveling, whining, cowards? Why can�t any of you take it like men? You act like a bunch of kicked dogs. All this whimpering and howling. I bet I know why you act like a sissy, you�re a Mama�s boy. Aren�t you? GET OUT OF THAT CORNER NOW!� Landon bellowed when he saw Blair still in the corner. He raised the belt he held tightly in his fist, but stopped when he saw the fear on Blair�s face. An evil grin appeared on the man�s face when he saw Blair flinch at the sight of the belt. �So someone did try to teach you some manners eh? Good.� Landon said smugly. He raised the belt even higher and sent it down rapidly towards Blair�s cringing form.
Blair�s body trembled visibly as he drew his knees up to his chest, pushed his head down against them and laced his hands against his neck to protect it. He waited for the intense stripe a fire that would land, he hoped, across his shoulders. He didn�t want it to land anywhere else. He could take it as he had before on his shoulders and back. He didn�t want it anywhere near his face or more tender and sensitive areas. Suddenly Blair realized that the blow he�d been waiting for hadn�t come yet. There sounded like a scuffle going on. When he looked up, his eyes teared up with relief and one word escaped his mouth in a happy sigh, � Dad.�
*********
When Jim had entered the house he heard the rapid breathing and heartbeat of his child. He entered the living room and saw the man bringing his arm down fast the belt flying with the force. He grabbed the man�s arm and ripped the belt from his hand before it had a chance to even lightly touch Blair. �Don�t you touch my child.� Jim growled as he grabbed the front of the man�s shirt in his other fist and brought the man�s face right up to his. �You will never harm or kill another child ever again.� Jim said in a hoarse whisper. He was about to do more when he heard the relieved sigh and word that emitted from his child. He looked up and saw that Simon had entered the room and was ready to take over. Leading Landon over to Simon, he made sure the scum that had thought about touching his child was firmly in Simon�s grasp before turning to Blair.
The minute he saw Jim turn to him, Blair scrambled to his feet and flung himself into Jim�s warm embrace. He shivered against Jim�s chest as he wrapped his arms around Jim�s waist. He felt Jim�s arms go around him, then stiffened as he felt something brush against him. When it brushed against him a second time, he realized that Jim was still holding the man�s belt in his hand. *No, this is Jim. He promised never to beat me. Just calm down, he won�t hit me with it.* Blair thought to himself. His breathing slowed as he calmed himself and snuggled closer to Jim.
Jim had felt Blair stiffen when he wrapped his arms around the teen and wondered what was wrong. When he felt Blair relax against him, he wrapped his arms around the boy tighter. His fingers brushed against the belt and he immediately realized why Blair had stiffened against him. He dropped the belt, buried his nose in the top of Blair�s head and breathed in the smell of the teen�s herbal shampoo. He turned his head and laid his cheek on the silky mass of curls as he began to mutter soft comforting words.
�It�s gone Chief, I�m sorry, I didn�t think about it. You�re safe now baby, you�re safe.� Jim said almost too softly for Blair to hear as he was trying to reassure himself more than his child. He rubbed the back of Blair�s neck gently with one hand as he rubbed soothing circles over the boy�s back. Once he had calmed down himself and was sure Blair was fine, he allowed the anger he had felt earlier to return. He stopped rubbing Blair�s back and hovered his hand over Blair�s backside for a moment, then stopped and wrapped his arm back around the teen.
Blair had felt Jim�s hand move from his back and waited for the swat he knew was coming with closed eyes. When he felt Jim�s arm wrap around him instead, he pulled his head away from Jim�s chest and stared at Jim bewildered.
Jim looked down into the confused dark eyes and smiled at the teen. He brought his hand away from Blair�s neck, brushed the curls from Blair�s face gently and then spoke to Simon without taking his eyes off the teen. �Simon we�re going to head back to the station. Unless you still need me here.�
�No Jim, you two go on. We�ve got things handled here. Infact why don�t you and the kid just go on home. I think we can handle things.� Simon said as he watched Henry and Rafe take the man from the house.
Jim nodded, and led Blair out of the house. He opened the passenger door of the truck and helped Blair in. He shut the door, went around to the other side of the truck, climbed in and laid his forehead against the steering wheel for a few minutes. Finally he sat up, started the truck and drove home.
*********
They entered the loft silently. Blair hung his backpack up on the hook by the door, then went and stood against the center beam of the loft. Jim watched his nervous young charge pace near the beam, stop lean against it for a moment then go back to pacing again. They had talked about how Blair had gotten to the scene and how he had gotten out of the station undetected. He tried to find the right words to say at the moment but couldn�t, instead he walked over to Blair and laid his hands on the teen�s shoulders stilling the restless movements for the moment. �Chief��It was the only word Jim got out before Blair interrupted him.
�Jim, I know you�re upset with me for showing up today. I-I know you told me to stay at the station, and I really wish I had now, but I have a question.� Blair paused at that moment and when he saw Jim�s signal to go ahead he asked, �When we were still in the house, you went to swat me, but you stopped. Why?�
He knew he had confused Blair with his decision, but it had been the right one in Jim�s mind at the time. �Let me ask you something Chief, if I had, how would that have made you feel?� Jim asked after thinking on the question for a minute.
�Horrible and embarrassed. Like I�d never be able to face anyone at the station again, especially Simon.� Blair admitted quietly as his cheeks turned bright red just thinking about it. He dusked his head his hair acting as a veil.
�That�s why Chief. I don�t have any intention of humiliating or embarrassing you in front of anyone. I will always try to wait till we get back to the loft before discussing your behavior, but if it looks like we won�t be able to get here anytime soon, I will always make sure we are some place private before taking action. I promise.� Jim spoke solemnly as he stared into the dark blue eyes that were now shimmering with unshed tears.
Blair swallowed hard at Jim�s words and when he blinked, the tears that he had been trying hard to hold back spilled down his cheeks. He closed his eyes slowly as Jim reached his hand up and gently wiped the tears away with his thumb. He wanted to enjoy calming moment and the gentle touch.
Jim knew that Blair wasn�t flinching from his touch, he knew the teen just wanted to savor the moment a little longer and Jim didn�t see the harm in waiting till they were both ready. The afternoon was going to become unpleasant soon enough without Jim pushing it. Once the tears had stopped, Jim moved them both towards the couch. He sat down and tried to bring Blair with him, but was surprised when the teen resisted.
*No, not yet please not yet. I�m not ready yet, I just need more time.* Blair thought as he pulled against Jim a little and found he could pull away with ease. He sat tentatively across from Jim on the coffee table. He wasn�t sure what was going on, especially when he saw the worry and concern in Jim�s eyes.
�Kiddo, what�s wrong? Talk to me Chief.� Jim said as he reached forward and went to put his hand on Blair�s shoulder. He stopped when he saw Blair flinch. It hurt him to see Blair flinching again. He hadn�t done it in over three weeks and Jim had hoped it wouldn�t happen anymore.
When Blair saw the hurt pass through Jim�s eyes when he flinched, he knew he had to set things straight. �It�s not you Jim, I know you won�t hit me. It just the stuff that happened today, that�s all.� Blair said softly. He continued a few minutes later, �I�m just not ready yet.�
Jim nodded and beaconed the teen over to him. �Come here Chief.�
Blair hesitated a moment, but then went over and sat at the other end of the couch. He looked up at Jim for a moment then put his head down and waited. *He�s gonna start yelling in a minute, I know he is. Why did I resist him, he might�ve comforted me more.* He jumped when he felt an arm lay gently across his shoulder. Blair looked up and saw Jim staring down at him.
�Blair, I know you didn�t flinch because of me. It just hurts to see you flinch like that. I�m nor going to punish you yet either. Remember I told you that we�d talk about it first. I think we need to do that now.� Jim said his voice calm and soothing as he reached up slowly and gently cupped the side of Blair�s face with his hand.
He leaned his head against Jim�s hand and nodded. He lifted his head from Jim�s hand and waited.
Jim pulled back a little and just stared at the waiting teen for a moment. �Okay kiddo, I want to know what you think was the first thing you did wrong today was.� He said calmly hoping that Blair wouldn�t drag this out like he did some times.
�Uhm yelling at you in Simon�s office?� Blair asked softly as he lowered his eyes and head.
�Eyes up here Chief. No that wasn�t the first thing you did wrong, though we�ll talk about that too. No Chief, the first thing you did wrong was not trusting me.� Jim quickly raised his hand to stop the protest forming on Blair�s lips. �Wait Chief let me explain. I know you trust me kiddo, but you didn�t trust me to know what was good for you today. I knew what the scene would be like and I didn�t want you to see it. Which brings me to the second thing you did wrong. You lied to three people today. You lied to me when you acted like you were going to stay at the station, you lied to Rhonda when you told her that you were just going off to the bathroom, and you lied to Officer Stephens when you told him that I asked for you to be brought to the scene.� Jim paused for a few minutes and let his words sink into Blair.
Blair cringed as Jim brought up the things he had done wrong, but when Jim listed the people he lied to, Blair hung his head. �I�m sorry Jim, I guess I really just didn�t think today.�
�No you didn�t kiddo, I know that�s not what you want to hear right now, but it�s the truth. I also want to discuss why you went into the house. Did you think I was inside?� Jim asked as he placed his hand under Blair�s chin and raised his head to meet the teen�s eyes.
Blair sucked part of his lower lip into his mouth and begin to lightly chew on it. He knew Jim wasn�t going to like his answer at all. �Uhm well I wanted to observe the scene from where you couldn�t see me, so I sort of snuck into the house that was there and��He stopped when he saw the look of anger on Jim�s face and swallowed hard.
�You. Did. What?� Jim asked in a very short controlled voice. He couldn�t believe what he was hearing. He gave Blair a stern look and asked, �Exactly how did you get inside?� Jim knew he probably wouldn�t like the answer and prepared himself for the worse.
Blair licked his suddenly dry lips and said, �Well I uh, I knocked on the door and uh it opened by itself, so I uh, I went in.� He saw the look on Jim�s face and began talking faster trying to smooth things over. �Jim, man I swear if I had known that guy was in there I would�ve never gone in.�
�Go to your room. Go to your room right now Blair. I�m too angry to deal with you at the moment.� Jim said quietly. He didn�t dare make his voice any louder knowing he�d give in to his anger and end up saying things he didn�t mean to Blair.
The quiet tone had Blair easing off the couch backwards and heading to his room without turning around. He didn�t want his backside exposed to Jim at this moment. He slipped quietly into his room and sat on his bed. Blair trembled slightly as his actions that day finally came back to him. He lowered his head down into his hands and sobbed softly. *How could I have been so stupid, Jim�s gonna to kill me. No I can�t think like this. I need to relax before I have a panic attack.* Blair slowly raised his head and wiped his eyes with a corner of his shirt. He ran his shirtsleeve under his nose next and sniffed loudly. Dark blue eyes darted to the doors of his room and stayed there till he was sure Jim wasn�t going to come in there. Soothing music was needed and Blair began to search his room for his cd player.
*********
Jim could hear the soft sound of drums coming from Blair�s room. He knew Blair was trying to keep himself from having a full-blown panic attack. The sentinel kept tracking his guide�s vitals till the heartbeat began to slow and the breathing evened out. Satisfied that Blair was finally asleep, Jim got up from the couch. Jim�s thoughts began to wander as he opened one of the french doors that led into Blair�s room and just watched the sleeping teen. He then walked over, sat carefully on the bed and began to stroke Blair�s cheek and hair.
*Little pup, you could�ve been killed today and I don�t want to think about how I would�ve felt if you had. I�m not gonna lose you pup, not by a long shot and I�m gonna prove it later with a discussion neither one of us is going to enjoy.*
Jim sighed at the last thought as he looked down at his sleeping child. He gave Blair�s cheek a gentle pat, tucked the blankets around the sleeping teen and brushed a few curls out of his face. A few minutes later he went upstairs and stood at his dresser. The half inch thick hairbrush felt like lead when Jim picked it up. He quickly put it down, then sighed, picked it up again, went over to his bed and sat down.
*I�m gonna have to test this first. I don�t want to bruise the pup, just give him something to think about. I wonder if a rolled up newspaper would work better.*
Jim smiled a little at his musing, then turned his sense of touch down to that of a normal person, hitched his one leg up and crossed it across his other leg. He went to push his pant leg up, then stopped and decided to test it over the jeans first. He brought the brush up and cracked it down on his leg with what he figured would be a decent amount of force.
The sting in his leg as the brush made contact made him jump and wince at the same time. When he raised his pant leg to see the damage, he was surprised to see just a faint pink spot. With his pant leg raised, he decided to test the brush once more. When he applied the brush this time he made sure the force was a little lighter but still strong enough to create a healthy sting. He noticed that it took him a couple of times of applying the brush on the same spot a couple of times before he got the same faint pink mark he had made with the brush over his pant covered leg. Coming to a decision, he got up, headed downstairs, set the brush down on the coffee table and then went into Blair�s room.
Blair began to whimper, his heart and breathing quickened, he bolted up as awoke and suddenly found himself wrapped in Jim�s arms. He laid his head on Jim�s shoulder and said, �It was horrible Jim. That guy had me again, only this time you couldn�t find me. He beat me and beat me and beat me before he tied me to a tree like he did is own kid. Why Jim? Why did he do it? How could a father do that to their kid?�
�I don�t know kiddo. There are some sick people in this world Chief, and sometimes we run across them in our life. You�re here though, and you�re safe and I will always do my best to protect you, but you my mischievous little pup have to help me. Pulling a stunt like you did today is not helpful.� Jim said his voice becoming firm at the end.
Blair pulled away from Jim, looked at him and said, �I know and I�m sorry. I just wanted to go so badly and you had said I could, but when you told me no, I got mad. I know that you made a conditioned promise that if it was something minor I could go, but I wanted it to mean I could go no matter what and so I kept telling myself since you broke your promise to me I could go.�
Jim waited patiently as Blair explained himself. He rubbed Blair�s arm as the teen talked keeping his touch reassuring and comforting. When Blair was done, Jim remained quiet for a few moments then began to speak. �Blair, I know you wanted to go today and that�s why I made a condition on the promise. I didn�t want you to get hurt. When I heard it was a 10-54, which means a possible dead body, I knew that if you were to come along, that it might be too much for you and maybe cause you to have nightmares. I kept you from going to keep you safe Blair, not to hurt you.�
The phone suddenly rang at that point and Jim got up and left the room to answer it. He picked up the phone on the third ring. �Ellison. Oh hi Ben. What�s up? Oh really? No I don�t mind. Yes I�m sure it�s fine. Right at five see you then.� Jim placed the phone down and was headed back to Blair�s room when he saw the brush still on the coffee table. He sighed, headed over to the coffee table, picked it up and headed into Blair�s room.
Blair had waited quietly while Jim left to answer the phone. When he heard Ben was on the other line he became curious and hoped he�d be let in on what Ben wanted when Jim returned. His door opened a few minutes later and when he saw what Jim held in his hand, he froze and his eyes grew large. �Jim, no. Please Jim don�t use that, please.� Blair whimpered softly as he got up and moved away from the bed.
Jim steeled himself against the teen�s pleading and said, �I�m sorry kiddo. I can�t have you risking your life Chief. You�re very precious to me and I�m not going to lose you. I love you kiddo, and I don�t plan on you leaving me anytime soon. If me using this brush on you is gonna make you think before you act next time, then I�m gonna use it. Come on, let�s get this done.� He sat down on the bed and motioned to Blair.
Blair shook his head, turned, leaned against his desk and breathed heavily. His mind was racing and couldn�t concentrate on chanting to calm his panicky mind. His whole body stiffened when he felt Jim�s hand on his shoulder.
�Shh, easy Chief. Just calm down and take deep breaths.� Jim said gently as he rubbed soothing circles over Blair�s shaking back and shoulders. He wasn�t prepared when Blair suddenly turned around, threw his arms around Jim�s middle and began to sob deeply against his chest. Jim stood stunned for a moment then wrapped his arms around Blair and began murmuring soft reassurances to the distraught teen.
The frantic heavy breathing began to even out after a few minutes. Slowly Blair released his hold on Jim and pulled away. He opened his mouth a couple of times his eyes filling with tears again.
�Let�s get this over with kiddo. It won�t get any easier on either of us if we keep prolonging it.� Jim said as he put an arm around Blair�s shoulders, rubbed Blair�s arm and gently led him over to the bed. He sat down on the bed, but when Blair went to bend over, Jim stopped him and gently grabbed Blair�s arm. �Jeans down first kiddo.� He said and was glad he had a hold on Blair�s arm when the teen immediately tried to jerk away.
Blair began to struggle and frantically tried to pull out of Jim�s grip, when he heard the request. When he realized that his struggling was getting him nowhere, he turned to pleading with Jim. �Jim, please, let me keep them up. Please.�
�Blair, let me show you something.� Jim said as he let go of Blair and raised his pant leg. He showed Blair the purplish-blue bruise on his leg and then looked at the gaping teenager. �I tested the brush earlier on my leg, which was covered by the way, and this is what happened. I don�t want to do this to you Chief, so the jeans have to come down.� Jim said covering the ugly bruise back up.
The teen�s eyes were still transfixed on Jim�s leg. He looked up at Jim his eyes filled with a mixture of pain and love. �Y-you tested the brush on y-yourself, so you w-wouldn�t hurt m-me?� Blair asked still not believing the words himself.
�No, this is going to hurt Chief, I did it so I wouldn�t bruise you. I would be no better than the Sharp�s if I were to use this blindly on you. Okay Chief enough stalling, get your jeans down.� Jim said touching Blair lightly on the wrist. He wanted to be able to grab the teen if he decided to bolt.
The thought that Jim cared that much about him kept Blair from bolting. He didn�t realize that he had unbuttoned his jeans or pushed them down until he found himself face down over Jim�s lap. He crossed his arms on his bed and laid his head on them.
Jim tried to cover the chuckle forming in his throat with a cough but failed miserably as the smiley face, sticking it�s tongue out, stared up at him from the back of Blair�s boxers. He thought he heard a small chuckle from Blair, but wasn�t sure when he heard the barely audible gasp when he slid the teen�s boxers down.
Blair groaned when the first swat landed and realized Jim was starting with his hand. His small grunts and groans gradually turned into loud whimpers and yelps as the spanking progressed. He clenched his fists tightly, determined not to reach back, at least not until Jim started using that brush.
Since they had already gone over why Blair was getting spanked, Jim saw no need for conversation. He wanted Blair to concentrate fully on the spanking itself. He continued to rain swat after swat down until Blair�s backside was a rosy pink. He paused for a moment and picked up the brush. Jim closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he rested the brush on Blair�s heated backside.
The coolness of the brush against his heated flesh felt good for a moment, until Blair realized that it was going to be replacing Jim�s hand. When the brush suddenly disappeared only to reappear a moment later with a harsh crack to his already hurting bottom, Blair tried to bolt off Jim�s lap, but was held fast by Jim�s arm around his waist. The second swat was worse than the first in Blair�s opinion and he immediately threw his hand back to protect the sensitive flesh.
Jim hadn�t seen Blair�s hand whip back until he was mere inches from the boy�s hand. He quickly moved Blair�s hand to the small of his back and held it there while he raised his right leg and administered the next four swats to Blair�s sit spot.
Feeling his hand being moved out of the way, Blair wasn�t prepared for the next four swats that landed painfully on their mark and howled loudly at the intense pain. He swiftly kicked his feet up to protect his backside while he began to plead earnestly with Jim once he was able to speak again. �Jim please, I can�t take anymore. Please stop.� Blair begged, his voice becoming hoarse from the sobbing and hitched breathing he was doing.
The last word came out as a pathetic whimper and tore at Jim�s heart, but he gently tapped Blair�s feet with the brush and said, �Feet down Junior.� Jim sighed as he saw the negative headshake from Blair. � Blair, put them down kiddo.� Jim said again as he put the brush down and pushed at the feet himself. They went down easily. He picked the brush back up and began to once again apply it to the teen�s tender undercurve. Howls of pain and sobs of true regret came from the teen with each painful swat. Jim lowered his leg, landed ten more swats to Blair�s backside, then tossed the brush aside and began to murmur gentle words of love and comfort to the sobbing teen as he rubbed calming circles on the boy�s back.
Blair didn�t realize it was over with till he felt something settle gently against his aching bottom, and he was lifted and settled on Jim�s lap. He yelped loudly and tried to scramble off of Jim when he made contact with the rough jeans.
�Shhh, hold on, shh shh shh there. Better?� Jim asked after he had moved them further on to Blair�s bed so that he was against the headboard and Blair was draped half on him and half on the bed. He felt the slight nod and started to comfort the boy.
Blair�s left arm was hooked around Jim�s neck while his right arm was under Jim�s left arm and across the detective�s lower back. He sobbed deeply against Jim�s shoulder and felt twin bands of love and comfort wrap around him, easing his heart.
�Shh, it�s okay, it�s okay. Shh, it�s over kiddo.� Jim crooned gently as he lightly rocked the teen and rubbed his back. The deep sobs began to slow and were soon replaced with a lighter sobbing and hitched breathing. Jim could hear Blair�s heart beat gradually slow and his breathing, though still raspy and hitched was slowing as well.
�I-I�m s-sorry Jim. Sorry.� Blair said softly against Jim�s neck. He moved closer to Jim and whimpered as the movement caused his shorts to rub against he sore bottom. His whimpers ceased as he felt Jim�s hand caress his back.
�Hush, you�ve been forgiven kiddo. No more apologies, okay?� Jim said softly. He felt the nod against his shoulder. Silence filled the room for the next few minutes, until Jim heard the soft yawn that was trying to be kept from him. Jim chuckled lightly and said, �I think maybe someone needs to rest for a while.� Jim helped the sniffling teen to stand, then to lie on his stomach, and then helped the teen to adjust the blankets one by one till his charge confirmed that he was completely warm and not just one certain part of him. Jim pulled the chair from Blair�s desk over to the bed, then sat down and stroked Blair�s hair and cheek till the teen fell asleep. Jim looked at his sleeping child and said softly, �How could anyone hate their child as much as that man did today? How could he beat him and leave him to die like that? Every child is priceless and more valuable than anything in the world. You don�t have to worry about me Chief, I know what a treasure you are.� Jim got up, stroked Blair�s head once more letting his fingers mingle with the teen�s curls for a moment, then trailed his hand down to the teen�s neck and gave it an affectionate squeeze before turning off the light and leaving the room.
An hour later Jim looked up from the newspaper he was reading on the couch at the front door. He had heard the sound of the elevator opening and the approaching footsteps. He got up and opened the door before his visitors had time to knock. �Hi Ben, good to see you again.� Jim said quietly as he moved from the door to allow Ben and Dan inside. When Dan walked past Jim, Jim pulled the kid into a hug and said softly in his ear, �Blair�s just waking up, why don�t you go see him.�
Dan looked at Jim with wide eyes at first when Jim hugged him, but understanding filled him when he heard Jim�s words. He nodded, pulled away, went over to Blair�s room and went in without knocking. He closed the door behind him.
Ben stood looking at Jim for a moment and then began to apologize, �I�m sorry Jim, I don�t know what�s got into that kid lately. He�s never been rude like that before, maybe I should postpone my trip and take him back home.�
Jim stared at the smaller man. Chocolate brown hair stopped at the nape of the man�s neck, and he was graying at the temples. His eyes matched his hair and were the same rich brown as his hair. He had a wiry frame and looked as if a strong breeze would knock him over. He was dressed in tan khakis and a light blue button down shirt. There was little to no resemblance to Dan though and Jim was curious as to why. He knew Dan called Ben by his first name, but thought there was a reason behind it. Now there seemed to be more than Jim first thought. �Don�t worry about it Ben. I told him to go see Blair. You go on, we�ll be fine.�
Ben nodded and started to leave, then paused and turned around. �Jim you�ll call me if something major happens right. I mean if Dan get into major trouble call me and let me know and I�ll be on the first plane back here.� He said earnestly.
�We�ll be fine Ben, but yeah if something happens I�ll call. Go on or you�ll miss your flight. We�ll be fine.� Jim said as he ushered the smaller man towards the door and out into the hall. Once Ben got on the elevator and the doors had closed, Jim closed to the door to the loft, leaned against it and thought. *What have I got myself into? I hope I don�t regret this*