31. CUSTOMER SERVICE

24/7 phone support. If we find that we are unable to afford this, we will mix it with a phone sex hotline. You pay $X per minute and the rep tries to fix your computer problem and talk dirty to you all at the same time.

What kind of GM's/Guides will you have?

Pretty standard fare but with a couple exceptions. All GM's/Guides will look exactly the same - they will be ghost like in appearance. Just thin wispy stuff. They won't be able to do combat with anything. They won't be able to show off 'phat' gear. Guides are not there to lounge about in some private zone or duel each other or stun n00bies with their buff gear - they are there to help customers. We may pay them with in game coin, we may not.

There will be various levels of guides with various powers. Guides will be asked a lot of questions before we 'hire' them. We don't want 'good role-players' - it doesn't matter. We don't want 'd33dz' - we just want good CS people.

They can go totally invisible (undetectable) to watch the PC's to see if they are naughty. They can monitor conversations. They are Big Brother. This isn't unusual in the MMOLG field - we at Evil Enterprises just don't mind admitting it.

Will these GM's have a published code that they must abide?

Yes, and this code will be available to the public. We don't think hiding it is really necessary. If our paying gamers come up with better stuff, it may be incorporated. If they whine incessantly about it, they may find that they are able to post less and less often.

In the final version, how will you handle player complaints about lost stats or equipment due to bugs?

On an individual basis. We will assume you are telling us the truth until we discover you are not. Then you will be banished to the prison server. We need testers, as well as people for the testers to look down their noses at. Chances are excellent that the player who has been playing for a year and has never contacted us really did lose the uber sword when he logged back in. Why treat him as a criminal? If worse comes to worse, we can always say "When did you last have the item?" And poof - your backup at that time is now active. That would have the downside of losing a couple points in skills you had built up since you lost your sword but chances are good you weren't doing much between then and now anyway. We recommend not doing this too often.

Will GM's be able to address problems caused by the game? If I lose skills/stats/items from bugs, can a GM restore me?

GMs will be able to fix problems resulting from bugs if that bug is verifiable.

Where can I report problems?

Type /report gives the last 10 lines of text concerning another individual who you feel to be harassing you. We don't accept screenshots of incidents as those are too easy to dupe. If you report stupid stuff you may get warnings and eventually get moved to our 'special' server. The /petition command allows you to enter text for guides to get. Entering /bug gives you access to our bug form. No trying to hit 5 different keys to get the bug command up! Just type /bug. Unlike other games, we aren't going to ask you to put in stupid information like:

What server the problem occurred on

Your character's name/level/class

Your e-mail address, so that you can be contact if more information is needed.

Where exactly you were in the world when it happened

We have it so that all of this information is automatically given to us. Please note that none of these commands are available to prisoners. We don't care if you harass each other, find bugs, etc. We only care about getting your money every month.

What will happen if I get disconnected from the game?

Your character hangs out for about a minute as an NPC (waiting to get killed by anyone that happens along if they are so inclined) then disappears. We do this to prevent people from 'pulling the plug' at times when they think they are going to die.

How do the developers feel about so-called 'spoiler sites?'

They are free advertising for us.

What happens if someone quits (i.e. cancels their automated credit card payments)?

When someone wishes to stop giving us money, we will have a simple one page poll. In order to get to the 'cancel credit card button', the person will be forced to check one of the answers. Example: Primary reason quitting: A) Griefers B) General boredom C) Nerfs D) No friends left in game E) Other.

I'm sure that some bright lads can come up with a couple other questions. To cancel the game, the end user must check one. I wouldn't have a 'comments box' - I simply don't want to read that much. I want a computer on my end to be able to spit out the stats.

I can then decide what actions, if any, I wish to take.

If I quit, how long will my characters be saved for?

We will save characters out of the goodness of our hearts for up to three months. After that, it's a crap shoot - maybe the characters will be saved, maybe they won't. We suggest buying character save insurance. When you cancel the game, the option for character save insurance will pop up automatically. For $10 (or whatever we think we can get out of you) we guarantee your characters will be saved for up to one year. When setting up the character insurance, you will receive the option of buying multiple years - up to five or ten.