Meet the Family
A wild Logagator in captivity...
Logagator - Loggus Gatorus
Habitat - spread throughout Florida, mainstay in Saint Augustine.
Eating Habits - If it moves, eat it
Earning Habits - What I finds, I keeps
Description - Possibly the most fascinating and beloved of "logagator" sub-species, the Logagator's size ranges from anywhere between 1 inch as a hatchling to about 2 or 3 feet as a fully grown adult. It is capable of instantly killing just about anything on earth, provided that thing has a neck. The Logagator attacks by leaping through the air with its powerful hindquarters and tearing the throat out of its victim. It usually ambushes prey in this fashion; such ambushes are particularly effective as the Logagator can take the exact form of an inconspicuous, harmless log. 9 out of 10 logagators live in swamplands or underground lairs.
Denvagator in "stare down" mode...
Denvagator - Stuffedis Gatorus
Habitat - Western United States. First specimen found in Denver, Colorado.
Eating habits - Cotton and rodents
Bad habits - Showers infrequently, makes sniffling sounds
Description - Bright green with large eyes and soft skin. Yellow underbelly and ranges from six inches at birth to nearly four feet at full size. Out of all the species of logagator, the Denvagator has the highest 'bouncing' capacity when thrown against a hard surface. 7 out of ten Denvagators leaves three Denvagators.
Ubergeneral Roberto displaying a Canagator with a specially fitted muzzle for safe-keeping...
Canagator - Cannus Gatorus
Habitat - Recycling bins, side of the road
Eating habits - unknown, sometimes found with cigarette butts or ants in digestive tract.
Description - The Canagator, like the Logagator, takes on the form of something less hostile in order to ambush victims. In the case of a Canagator, it assumes the form of an aluminum can, usually P*psi or a related brand. The Canagator rarely moves or stirs, but, if someone touches it with his/her foot, the Canagator will make a flying leap, sometimes only a few inches, and sometimes a good 5 or 10 metres! The Canagator shares all the physical characteristics of an aluminum can, and there is still a great deal to be found out about this species.
Required attire for capturing an average Dumbagator...
Dumbagator - Dumbassus Gatorus
Habitat - Swamplands worldwide, many attempt to migrate to Antartica
Eating Habits - Sharp things, hot things, porcupines, poisonous snakes
Description - The Dumbagator has, seemingly, NO INTELLIGENCE WHATSOEVER. It makes frequent attempts to thwart Semi Tractor Trailers on highways, has a habit of sleeping on railroad tracks, and often tries to make meals of power cables. The only times it actually gets an oppurtunity for a meal are when someone mistakes it for a PE teacher or someone who enjoys programming on the WB or UPN and gets too close. These unfortunates are devoured after a few moments of blank staring from the Dumbagator. For some peculiar reason, the Dumbagator becomes docile when confronted with someone dressed in high suspended trousers, a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, gumboots, and a towel wrapped around their head. Bashing two bricks together while dressed in this fashion and yelling "HOOOOO! That was fun!" seems to appease the Dumbagator, encouraging it to walk towards the person and dance. The Dumbagator's dance is renowned; it consists of one step forward, one step back, a half backflip, and landing on its head rather painfully.
Back to the main page...