"Come on, Anya," Xander purred as best he could into the phone. He sat back in the one comfortable chair Giles had bogarted to his private office and propped his feet up on the desk. "Just for a few minutes. You've been gone almost a week. Throw me a bone-er."

Xander," Anya sighed. "We discussed this. You were going to read the passages I highlighted in The Joy of Sex. Then, when I get back we are going to try them out.

"An, Hon, Phone sex is an old and honored tradition. It's something humans have been doing since there have been phones. What aren't you wearing?"

"What arent' I wearing?" He could almost see her shaking her head in frustration.

"Come on, Babe," Xander said. He lowered his voice. "Tell me what you have on."

"Xander, I'm wearing my baggy jeans, the comfy ones since I don't have to dress up to make you happy. And that Miss Kitty tee shirt that Willow gave me. Why?"

"The point of this exercise is to give Little Xand a happy, An,"

"And this would give you a happy how?"

He sighed. This was going to be more difficult than he thought.

"Xander, I just don't see the point, it is ludicrous to think that I can get orgasms on the phone, I mean you can't touch me, and I can't touch you so what is the point?"

"Just.... try it?"

"Oh, alright, but I don't think it'll work." she said petulantly. "What are you wearing?" she asked.

"I'm sitting here in my boxers thinking about your hands running down my chest..."

"Which boxers? And what are you doing in your boxers when you're supposed to be watching the shop? Giles isn't gonna like that at all."

"We're pretending, Anya," Xander explained with exagerated patience. He shook his head. "Look, let's try this another way. Let me tell you what I wish I could do to you right now." He could hear her smile.

"We're talking about me? I might like this game."

"I want to slowly run my hands across your beautiful breasts, open the clasp to your bra, and lean down and suck one of your nipples into my mouth." Anya's gasp was music to his ears.

"I love the way you taste, like strawberries and cream. I want to taste the honey between your legs. Will you let me open your thighs and let me bury my face in your heat and warmth? He heard a telltale shaky intake of breath on the other end and shifted in his seat so that he could undo his belt. "I can feel you tremble as I run my hand underneath your thong. I love the way you feel, all silky and soft. Are you touching yourself, Babe?" he asked "Your thighs?"

"God yes, Xander why didn't you tell me that we could do this before?"

"Hon. The mood. I can feel how wet you are. I want you so much. I am so hard just at the thought of you." He opened his zipper and pushed aside the excess fabric then did some quick manuevering to release his firm cock from the confines of his Tazmanian Devil boxers. Slowly, he ran his hand up and down his firm erection as he told his lover what he was doing to her.

The whimpers coming over the phone line told him how much she loved what they were doing to one another. Her breathy moans reached out and grabbed him right where he lived and he sped up his stroking as his cock jumped in response. He panted out, "My tongue is brushing your clit. Can you feel that? Do you feel my fingers sliding in and out of you, while I suck on your clit?"

Anya moaned, "Yes, and it feels so good. I am licking your cock like it is an ice cream cone, just the way that you taught me. It tastes so good." Her breathing changed signalling her impending orgasm to her lover. He knew ever little breath she made and she was about to cum.

"Are you coming, Xander?" Anya panted.

"God yes, I'm comming"

"Not on my desk you aren't."

Giles' appalled voice filled the small room and Xander jerked his heads up. The phone clattered to the floor along with the chair. Xander scrambled, caught by his pants now around his ankles, to cover himself and grab the phone.

"Giles," he yelled. His voice cracked. "What are you doing here?"

The older man closed his eyes and shook his head, obviously struggling for words.

"It is my shop," he managed. "I was wanting to show Willow, Buffy, and Tara my new speaker phone."

"Speaker phone?" Xander managed.

"Yes," said Giles. He brought a weary hand to his neck. "Out in the shop. Some imbecile hit the wrong button. We've all been privy to yours and Anya's � gruntings for the past minute."

A sound at the doorway caught his attention. He lifted his hand in a meek wave the immediately returned it to his exposed and now flaccid crotch.

"Hi, guys."

Buffy turned to Willow and asked, "Are we both in the same scary visual place?"

"Nightmares," Willow mumbled. "I'm going to have nightmares."

The redhead hid her face in Giles' shoulder, "Please tell me when it's safe to come out again?"

"Don't say cum," Buffy whispered still unable to take her eyes from the struggling mess that was Xander.

"I'm in a nightmare," Buffy wailed.

"And I can't wake up," Giles finished.

They all grimaced as Anya's lustful cries filled The Box .

Giles reached over the table and pressed a button effectively silencing her satisfied pants. He caught the phone in his hand and gave it to Xander. Xander faltered a smile then brought the phone to his ear. He licked his lips.

"An, hon," he said. "Say hi to the gang. Yeah. Uh huh. Love you, too. See you tomorrow. Buh bye."

"I'm just gonna go die now," he said to his stunned audience. "I'll be out back Waiting for the earth to swallow me whole. If I think really good thoughts maybe the hellmouth will open and end this torment we call 'my life'."

"Right," said Giles with a definitive nod. "Pull your pants up and let us never speak of this again."

"Agreed," said Xander.