Willow walked over to the table, trying to pretend everything was normal despite the fact that her ex-girlfriend was hyperventilating so badly she seemed in imminent danger of passing out, and Buffy was glaring at Spike with the clear desire that he do something, anything, to justify her beating him up. Giles was furiously polishing his glasses, while Xander stared fixedly at the vampire seated next to him. Spike himself looked as though he didn't have a care in the world.

[I am calm, I am calm, deep breaths, deep breaths] Willow continued her internal mantra as she maintained the relaxed smile on her face.

Looking over at Tara, Willow gestured for her to get up and said to Spike, "Tara and I will just have a quick chat, we won't be long." Willow bent down to kiss his cheek, and ruffled his hair before quickly stepping away, leaving Spike clenching his jaw as he made a very unconvincing effort to look lover-like. Whether he was annoyed because she was talking to Tara, or because she had disturbed his hair, Willow wasn't sure, but she had no intention of sticking around to find out.

As the two witches disappeared into the back room, Anya decided to try out her new social skills by comforting Spike. "I'm sure Willow just wants to tell Tara that it's all over. I mean, why would she prefer to have sex with a fellow Wicca, a girl her own age, who shares her interests, when she could have sex with someone who has technically been dead for over a hundred years? A soulless demon who is only prevented from murdering us all in our beds by a small piece of aluminium that could cease to function at any moment? I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."

Spike gazed at Anya wordlessly. Xander snorted, trying manfully not to laugh, for once enjoying his girlfriend's unusual approach to conversation. Personally, while he never thought much of the whole lesbian thing (unless he got to watch, of course), he would definitely rather have Willow with Tara than Spike.

But Xander's hopes were soon crushed when Willow returned to the room with a tear-streaked Tara, who quickly said good night and left the Magic Box. Willow seemed introspective but not sad, Xander decided clinically as he studied his friend. And she certainly seemed to have developed a new love of public touching. If she wasn't sitting on Spike's lap she was fiddling with his hair, or stroking his arm, or some other absolutely unnecessary physical reminder of their unholy relationship. Xander kept waiting for Spike to slap her hands away - [I mean, c'mon, not only is he a guy, he's a demon!] - but Spike made no reaction to Willow's assaults, neither returning them nor protesting.

But having to witness the evidence of the union was straining everyone's nerves - especially Spike's. [What the hell is that little witch playing at? I don't remember *this* being part of the agreement] Spike fumed inwardly as Willow shifted on his lap, rubbing herself against his erection for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past hour.

If she didn't stop this soon, Spike knew he was going to lose his patience and just throw her down on the table. The only question in his mind was - [argue first then shag, or vice versa?]. He personally couldn't see the point of all this girly touching; he preferred to just get naked and get on with it.

Willow could sense that Spike was reaching the end of his patience - a virtue in which he was remarkably lacking at the best of times. She wasn't sure exactly why she had decided it would be fun to tease him; with the chip it was a bit like poking a caged lion with a stick, it had the appearance of danger without actual real risk. Plus, she admitted to herself with a small smile, it was really fun. All this touching was getting her really worked up, and she knew just the cure she needed. With a final wriggle against the rock hard shaft that was pushing against her bottom, the redhead said apologetically, "We really have to go now."

She suppressed a grin at the hasty assents from her friends; [I guess they've seen enough of the Willow and Spike show for one night.]

Spike stood up quickly, pulling his duster around his body to shield his lower body from the eyes of the others. That was just what he needed, the Slayer making cracks about his present condition. He'd spend the rest of his unlife caught between dreaming of her bloody death and recovering from head-splitting pain courtesy of his chip.

Whisking Willow outside, Spike said harshly, "What the hell was all that about? I'm not your bloody kitten you know," as he ran his hands through his hair in a futile attempt to restore order.

Willow tried her best to look hurt. "But we're meant to be a couple," she said innocently.

Spike growled in frustration. "Why not just shag on the floor then, that should convince 'em."

"Spike, we have a deal," Willow said primly, as she tried to explain at length why their deception required her to act, well, affectionate towards the blonde vampire.

"Anyway," she concluded as she took Spike's hand in hers, "Didn't you like it?"

Spike gave her a disgusted look. "No, I bloody did not," he growled.

Willow leaned forward to rub her mouth against his, sighing in pleasure when Spike accepted her invitation and invaded her mouth, bringing their bodies together as he took out his frustrations for the past hours of teasing on her willing lips.

Pulling away from his mouth to take a breath, Willow said huskily, "I promise not to do it again," then turned and walked away. Spike stood still, trying to work out what she was talking about. When his brain cleared, he realised she was already half a block away

"Where the hell do you think you're going," Spike yelled.

"Home," came the faint reply. "See you tomorrow."

And pleased at having the final word, Willow walked home with a spring in her step. She noticed the lights were on and grinned as she unlocked the front door, saying loudly, "Honey, I'm home!"

Spikebot rushed in from the kitchen, a frown on his face. "You're so late. I was worried about you. You know it's not safe to walk by yourself at night," he admonished as he came over to greet Willow.

Willow smiled and gave him a hard shove on his chest, pushing him to the floor. Spikebot looked up, confused - had he done something wrong. "Willow?" he said cautiously, before his mistress started to shed her clothes as he watched in pleasure.

"Did you miss me?" the redhead asked with a pout as she straddled him.

"Yes," came the groaned reply.

"Want me to kiss it better?"

Spikebot found himself unable to reply as Willow's tongue plunged into his mouth.

Loving the feeling of being in control for a change, Willow quickly undid the blonde's shirt, pulling her mouth away from his to start work on his nipples, enjoying the feeling of the strong body beneath her writhing helplessly in pleasure as she licked and nipped at the hardened nubs.

She spared a thought for Spike, no doubt by now at home in his crypt and unable to relieve his frustrations. [Too bad for him,] she decided, as she started to undo Spikebot's trousers - she had frustrations of her own to take care of, and the perfect "man" for the job.