�Have you seen my boyfriend?� The young woman asked as she approached the man on the bench.

�Why? Did you lose him? Did he run off after the two of you had a fight?� The young man asked hopefully. Erik knew it was silly, but he hoped that if some spiteful male made a wish in front of him, it would restore his powers.

�No! Xander and I rarely fight.� Anya said angrily, glaring at the offensive green eyed man. �And whenever we do, we make sure to have lots of sex afterwards. Apparently, orgasms settle disputes.�

�I see.� He said thoughtfully. �Beats vengeance, I guess.�

�Vengeance?� Anya replied, surprised. She sat down beside him. �A favorite subject of mine, though he doesn�t want me to bring it up often.� She had been walking around aimlessly after she had witnessed Willow�s transformation into a vampire. Xander was never punctual about getting home after Scooby related activities. She�d gotten bored waiting for her boyfriend and there wasn�t anything on television so she had gone for a walk. She had little fear about walking around because she knew a lot of demons.

�Anyanka!� The man cried. �It�s you! The famous Anyanka who was returned to her mortal state. You were supposed to be an example to us all. Why, aren�t you dead?�

�I will be any day now, I have about 60 or so years to go. But how exactly do you know my name and who are you?�

�I am a vengeance demon, of the male variety. Obviously. My name is Erik.�

Anya sniffed the air delicately. �You don�t smell demony to me.�

�Well, I�m sort of in between wishes at the moment.�

�Got fired, huh?�

�For the last time, they were twins!�

Anya held up her hands. �Take it easy. We�ve all made the twin mistake.�

�I know! He was just looking for excuse because D�Hoffryn doesn�t like me anymore. Not since I made France disappear for a month. It was during the 1300's. No one missed them anyway!�

�He can be a real pain in the ass to work for.� �You�re telling me! I haven�t gotten a vacation in two centuries.�

�So, he took away your powers too.�

�Yes.� Erik said unhappily. �I�m doomed to live as a mortal unless I get them back somehow.�

�Trust me, that won�t work, Erik.�

�You tried?�

�Of course I tried! He made me a teenager for God�s sake.� She inspected her newly polished nails. �But of course it didn�t work. My super duper temporal fold only brought back some red haired vampire chick, not my precious amulet.�

�Red haired.� Erik mused as he thought about the one who had gotten away from him tonight. If only he could�ve harnessed her power.�I hate redheads.�

�Me too.� She confided. �In fact, my boyfriend�s annoying female friend is one. And she�s a witch to boot.�

�A red haired witch, you say?� Erik asked, with interest. Two red haired vampire witches? Sunnydale couldn�t be that big a town. It had to be her.

�Yes, always doing spells and the like. Tonight, she dressed up as a vampire. She even did a glamour on herself so she would appear as one.� She sighed. �I swear I�ll never understand humans.�

�Appear as a vampire. . .how interesting.�

�Uh huh. But I got off of topic.� Anya murmured. �Don�t worry about this being mortal thing, Erik. It will all work out.�

�I�m sure it will. Especially if I had some friends like you do.�

�Yes, they make it easier. Though, you are often forced to listen to them politely and buy them gifts on several occasions.�

�Say, Anyanka, could I meet your friends? It might make being human easier if I could interact with some.�

Anya shrugged. �Why not?� She stood up and he did so as well. She checked her watch. �I bet Xander�s back in the basement by now anyway. All the bars are closed by now anyway. On the way over, I�ll tell you about other good human things. Like fruit punch. And the best thing? Money. You see you can use it to buy . .�

�What are you doing here, Ethan?�

�Just came by for a visit, mate.�

�Well, now that you�ve said �hello� you can go back to whatever hell dimension expelled you. Get out!�

Buffy bristled as soon as she had seen the unwelcome intruder. She remembered his Halloween stunt that had nearly gotten her killed, the time he�d almost sacrificed her to Egan, as well as the chocolate incident that had nearly gotten some babies eaten.

�Step away from Jim, Ethan. You and I have a score to settle.�

�We both know you don�t kill humans, Buffy.�

�There�s no rule about slapping you around a bit.�

�Ooh! I like that idea.� Willow said, a malicious gleam in her eyes. �Make sure to give him a few bruises.�

Ethan stepped back from the group, but Spike and �Jim� both stood between him and Buffy. �There�s no need for violence. I�ve come to help.�Giles stared out the window silently, offering no reply. �Have you gone deaf, old boy?�

�No, I�m waiting for the Hellmouth to freeze over.�

Ethan rolled his eyes. �What do you really want?�

�What if I said I wanted her?� He nodded at Willow.

�I�d say you were going to have get in line.� Xander said.

�I�d say you were about to get your head bashed in.� Giles replied calmly.

Suddenly, two Rippers were in the room. The one who still liked Ethan put his hand on his old mate�s shoulder none too delicately and said. �She�s taken, mate.�

�This brings your grand total up to what, Willow? Two Giles, one vampire, a werewolf you just got rid of, and the evil wizard. � Xander said irritably.

�Two Giles?� Buffy queried. �Unless I missed something I�m only seeing one.�

�He means �Jim�, Buffy.� Willow said easily. She glowered at Xander. �He�s a relative of Giles, so he counts as a �Giles� in Xander�s tally. That isn�t true, by the way! I have dated no one but Oz! Okay?! Say it with me. . .�Willow dated just Oz�.�

�Oh? Oh, I see. That�s how this is being played?� Ethan said wisely, catching on quick. �Well then, I have to talk with �Jim�, Giles and. . .� He stopped briefly to let his eyes rest the red head. �. . . the luscious young Willow.� Then his expression hardened at he looked pointedly at the Slayer. �Alone.�

Giles stepped in front of the young witch and his Slayer, clenching a fist angrily. �Ethan, if you so much as look at Willow again in a manner I don�t particularly like, it�s going to take the medics weeks to put you back together again. Understand? As for Buffy. She is the Slayer and has certain duties and restrictions. She deserves all of our respect. Even yours. Strictly speaking, hurting people is forbidden. As far as you�re concerned, she may do as she pleases. Aggravate her at your own peril.�

�Whatever you say, Ripper.� Ethan replied, though he had never kept a promise to date.

�Keep a good grip on that toga, chief.� Xander looked at Giles, who�s sheet was beginning to slip because of his tirade. �I don�t want to see any other parts of you or I�ll have nightmares.�

�I never knew he was the jealous type.� Buffy said to Willow, indicating Giles with the sweep of her hand. �That must be hard to deal with. I mean Angel could get that way every once in a while but--.�

�I�m not dating Rupert Giles.� Willow said in a weary tone . �Though I don�t know why I bother explaining myself. Its obvious to me that you aren�t listening.� She turned to Xander and pointed to her mouth. �Is this thing on? Are words coming out of it?�

�I can hear you, Wills. I just don�t believe you.�

Buffy didn�t know what was going on but she was becoming more and more agitated by the second. She glared at her Watcher and the wizard from hell. �What the hell�s going on here? What am I missing?�

�Nothing!� Willow, Xander and �Jim� said.

�That was very convincing.� Buffy said, irritated by all of their behavior. �Could you all try to look a little less nervous next time?�

�Buffy, its none of your affair. Trust me on this.� Giles said, trying to soothe his Slayer. �I don�t want to worry you when there�s nothing you can do about it. You have enough on your plate as it is. In fact, why don�t you go home? I�m sure you have some homework you could be doing. Or why don�t you and the young man you�ve been seeing take in a movie?�

�I�m not going anywhere, Giles.� Buffy insisted.

Giles sighed, used to her stubbornness. �Fine.�

�Should I have called ahead for reservations?� Ethan prompted. �I do have things to do you know. Plots to hatch, people to threaten.�

�Very well, you big blowhard, I�ll do it. If only to keep you from running your mouth off.� Giles was about to descend the stairs when he realized once again that he was still quite naked. �I�ll be down in a moment.�

Spike had enjoyed the whole scene immensely. Except the part where Ethan had sexually harassed Red. He looked at the wizard disdainfully. �Red�s mine. Don�t ever look at her again�

�No, she�s mine.� Ripper countered. He shook his head. �Actually, she sort of belongs to both of us but as you can see, we don�t need any more competition. �

Ethan looked back up at the witch once more. She was having a heated discussion with her two friends. He�d been able to sense her power from the first time he�d met her. She�d been wearing a midriff shirt and a mini-skirt. Her power had grown fourfold since he�d seen her last. She�d make a spectacular sorceress, Ethan�s equal in every way. With her by his side, there�s not telling what awful things they could do.

�That�s where your wrong, boys. She needs a man of experience. A man who can tutor her in every way.�

�I�m nearly two hundred years old, you nit.�

�Vampires don�t count.� Ethan asserted. �You may live to see a thousand years and still be the mental age of 25.�

�I don�t have that problem. I can age with Willow.� Ripper explained.

�No, you have to go back to the past. Then, you can be her librarian when you grow older while I�ll be something much more intimate.�

�I heard that.� Buffy said as she walked down the stairs. �I�m not sure why Will�s acting this way but it must be because of Oz. If you so much as lay a hand on her, I�ll��

�Still as butch as ever.� Ethan sniped.

�Yeah, I guess so. But then, you�re still a spineless coward. I could kick your ass and never break a sweat.� Buffy moved forward to put her words into action, but was disrupted by the shrill tone of Giles� telephone. Willow, who was closest, reached out and picked it up, grateful for the distraction.

�Xander? It�s Anya.� As Xander shuffled to the phone, the others stood uncomfortably, glowering at various people.

�An?� Xander blushed a little and turned his back as if it would provide some privacy. �I�m sort of busy . . . yes, I love you, too. Yes, sex, tonight. Hun? I have to go, this isn�t a good time.�

There was a long pause. Everyone strained to hear what Anya was saying, none succeeded. �You�re what!? What do you mean? You�re retired, you can�t reconsider vengeance!� Another long pause. �A who? He what? When did . . .?�

Xander closed his eyes in consternation. �My house! I�ll be right there.�

Everyone looked at the young man expectantly as he turned around. He faced Buffy. �Buff, as much as I hate to interrupt a good sound evil sorcerer butt kicking, I�m afraid you have to come with me. Right now.� He shook his head in disbelief. �My girlfriend has decided to mingle with her old co-workers, if you catch my meaning.�

Buffy scowled at Ethan and released his shirt front. �Don�t think you�re off the hook. I have a long memory.� She started to shove past him.

�Too bad about that short life expectancy.� Ethan smirked. Suddenly a fist slammed into his face and he slumped to the ground.

�Thanks, Wills.� Buffy brightly smiled at her friend.

Willow looked down at the crumpled form on the floor. �I�ve been dying to do that all night.� She gave him a disdainful shove with her foot. �Evil perverted geezer.�

Giles came down the stairs to find his Slayer and Xander gone, and Ethan unconscious at Willow�s feet.

He smiled brightly. �I hope that hurt! What happened? Did Buffy . . .�

�He slipped.� Willow smiled innocently, she leveled a look at her two companions. Giles also looked to Spike and Ripper, who nodded enthusiastically and held up her story.

�This is why you brought me here? This is why I�m missing giving Ethan Rayne the ass-kicking he so richly deserves?� Buffy looked at the small green-eyed youth.

�For God�s sake, Xander, a gust of wind would knock this guy over.� She shook her head. �You could even beat this guy up.�

�He�s a demon!� Xander whined. �Just be all slay-ey and kill him. But don�t stain the carpet. My mom will be pissed.� Then he just registered what she had said earlier. �Hey! For your information, I�m very manly! I don�t need you to protect me.� He puffed out his chest.

�I never said I was a demon.� The man offered.

�Shut up, demon boy.�

�Actually he is a newly made human. He used to be a vengeance demon.� Anya explained.

�You�re not allowed to invite demons over, Anya! I thought we went through that.�

�Why not? I put up with your human friends, even though they�re really boring.� Buffy glared at her but Anya continued blithely on. � I�ve really come down in the world. When I was a demon I used to go to some serious parties with really cool people. I even hung out with Dracula once.�

�Dracula is real?� Xander asked, distracted for the moment.

�Of course.� Anya said rolling her eyes. Her male companion did the same. As if to say �humans!�.

�Cool. Dracula is real.� Buffy said, contemplating the opportunity to dust the vampire to end all vampires. She turned to Xander. �Do you think he really has that dorky accent?� She pushed her teeth forward to make them look like fangs. �I vant to suck your bloood!�

�He has the accent because he�s from Transylvania. He can�t help it.� Anya snapped. �And I think it�s kind of sexy.�

Buffy chuckled, still imagining the battle. �Wouldn�t be sucking blood after I got through with him. Might even keep his dust as a souvenir.�

�Can we focus here?� Xander said, exasperated. Then he turned to Anya. �Sexy? Blech!� Then he turned to Buffy. �Come on, take his head off or something. Consider it a pre-show to the Ethan Ass Whupping.�

�I can�t, Xander. He�s human now.�

�Xander!� Anya shrieked. �I can�t believe you would do this. I used to be a demon too. You want Buffy to kill me?�

�No!� Xander sighed. �You�re different. You��

�I�d like to stay for the lovers�s quarrel but I have other plans.� Buffy gathered up her weapons. �I still have to go beat Ethan down.� She grinned, �And then celebrate with a facial and some cheesecake.�

�Fine.� Xander said. �I�ll go with.�

�Can we go too?� Erik asked. They all looked at him. �I�m anxious to. . .meet other people. Because I need practice socializing in groups like you overblown primates do.� Xander and Buffy glared at him. �I mean. . .humans.�

Buffy sighed, she just wanted to go. �Fine. Whatever. But not a whole lot of socializing is going to happen. Just some yelling and bleeding.�

�I like violence.� Erik said happily.

Buffy shook her head. �If you want to be human. . .� She began before twisting her wrist as if she were turning off a radio. �Turn down the creepy.�

�I want to go if you are all going.� Anya stated.

�Alright, you can come.� Xander agreed, leading the motley group to the door. He turned to wag a finger at Erik. �But if see so much as a fang or a horn, your history. Buffy will take you out. Comprendo, demon boy?�

Buffy clapped Xander on the back. �That was a very manly scolding you gave him.� She laughed as she exited the house.

Ethan rubbed his jaw before staring up at Willow in wonder. He was only out for a minute or two. �You�ve got a good right hook.�

guess I do.� Willow beamed. �Does it hurt a lot? I hope so.�

But he ruined it by giving her a dirty old man smile. �I never would have guessed that you liked it rough. That makes things much more interesting.�

�Ewww!� Willow cried, stepping back. �Stop that! It�s enough to make a girl gay.�

Spike narrowed his eyes at the older man. �If I could kick you, I would.�

�I can kick you.� Ripper said, and he did, right in the rear as Ethan attempted to stand. He snorted with laughter as his friend fell to the floor with an �ooph�. �You never were subtle, mate.� He said bending down to help his friend stand up. �No wonder you had so many trouble with the ladies.�

�Be quiet, you arrogant nit. Without my help, you�ll never get home.�

�Let�s get down to brass tacks.� Giles said. � Tell me what you did to send him here and I�ll send the arrogant boy back where he belongs. In my past.�

�So you can go back to being an old, stuffy, tweedy librarian? I don�t bloody think so. We have to fix you so I don�t end up like this.� Ripper stated.

�Oh, you would rather I end up boozing, drugging, whoring, and generally pissing life away as you do? Yes, I can see how that would be a much better fate. Maybe I can even get myself into the roach infested no-tell-motel on the edge of town. That should suit you.� Giles said sarcastically.

�Well, I kind of like the Watcher part. That�s not so bad.� Ripper said defensively. �It is kind of fun to have your very own Slayer to sic on people.�

�I don�t �sic� her on anyone. She�s not a retriever for pity�s sake.� Giles replied grumpily.

�Though with her shade of blond hair, there is a bit of a resemblance . . .� Spike muttered. Willow shot him a dirty look and Ripper dutifully smacked him on the back of the head, though a lot lighter than it looked.

Ripper glanced at Giles once more. �But how can you wear those clothes?�

�There perfectly serviceable.� Giles asserted. �Besides, do you know how ridiculous I�d look running around in tight jeans and leather?�

�I think you�d look good.� Willow said honestly.

�Thank you, Willow, but that isn�t the point. I can never forget who I was, if I start letting him-� He pointed to Ripper. �To come out at all. . .in the way I dress, or speak. Anything. I�ll be lost.�

Ethan shot Rupert an annoyed glance. �We�ll discuss your so-called misspent youth later. Can I tell the tale and get the bloody hell out of this town?�

�Why should we believe you?� Giles said archly as he narrowed his eyes at his old friend.

�Oh, for Satan�s sake, Ripper. You�re starting to sound like that paranoid chap on that show, the Z-Files.� He shuddered. �Ghastly American television.� Ethan�s voice turned silkily as he caressed Willow with his eyes. �Personally, I prefer a good romance. Something with a slightly older fellow and a pretty young thing who��

�I think you have romance confused with porn.� Willow said sweetly. There was still some residual VampWillowness in her veins. For some reason, Ethan Rayne brought that to the surface. �And that�s X-Files, not Z. Though you probably have a hard time remembering things at your age.�

�Good heavens!� Giles shrieked, sounding like an offended old lady. He was still stuck on the �p� word.

Ripper and Spike guffawed at Ethan�s vexed expression and Giles� horror.

Spike wiped a tear from his eye. �Guess she told you, tosspot.�

Giles was turning an interesting shade of crimson. �Where did you learn about, about p-p. . .�

�Porn?� Willow said, enjoying herself immensely. She could hear VampWillow�s husky offer echoing in her ear. �Wanna be bad?� Oh, yes, I certainly do! At least for the moment.

�Uh, yes. I would rather you didn�t use that word again, my dear.� He reached over and grabbed Ripper by the scruff of the neck. �Have you been watching that depraved drivel with her? She�s a vulnerable, young, impressionable��

�Who said something about porn?� Xander asked as he strode in the room. Buffy and Anya were right behind him. Inexplicably, Erik decided to stay outside for a cigarette once he saw Giles� face. �Wow, G-Man, I never know what you�re going to be talking about when I come in this house.�

�Giles!� Willow chided him. �You�ve seen porn?� She looked at the television with dismay. �And I thought you only used that thing for PBS.�

�When I was younger!� Giles defended himself. �And only sometimes.�

�Eww!� Buffy cried, glaring at Giles. �You�re not the Watcher I thought you were, Hugh.�

�Hugh?� Giles queried, desperate to de-rail this conversation.

�As in Hefner?� Xander said sagely. �Playboy Mansion? Does that ring a bell?�

Giles continued to glare at the young man. He finally looked at Giles many books. �So, if I move something on these shelves am I going to find some tapes with titles like �Wicked Librarians Let Loose�?

�Of course not!� Giles roared. �This conversation is over.� He shot a deadly look at Ripper. �See what you�ve done? This is all your fault.�

Ripper�s grin was wide. �Don�t you mean it�s actually YOUR fault, uncle?�

�Okay, I�ve had enough. What�s really going on here?� Buffy asked. �I�m not going anywhere until you tell me the truth.� She set her hands on her hips and watched Giles very carefully. It was evident that she would have to forcibly removed.

Everyone in the room looked at Giles and he shoved a hand through his graying blond hair. �Bloody hell.�