Like his mates Angel had been exhausted by recent events, and had slept through the night and well into the next day. He had not enjoyed a tranquil rest however, troubled by nightmares that vanished each time he awoke, leaving him unsettled without knowing why.

He was finally driven from his bed in the late afternoon by the need for blood. He had given Wesley and Cordelia the day off, but he could hear one of them moving around upstairs.

In the kitchen he grimaced as he drank the blood straight from the bag, the cold liquid moving slowly down his throat. He heated the next bag, and while he waited he decided his employees must be worried about him falling back into his heavy brooding routine. He would have to put in an appearance to reassure them, then maybe they would leave him alone.

Angel drained the second bag of blood, slightly less revolting when heated. His demon chose that moment to bring up a vivid memory of the taste of his mates' blood: Spike's rich and powerful, Willow's sweet and spicy, both the purest ambrosia compared to the blood of a normal human, let alone pig's blood.

Sighing, Angel retaliated by conjuring up another memory, of Spike and Willow leaving together. His demon growled, telling Angel that he was a fool for letting them go, and for once Angel was inclined to agree with it.

Angel's nostrils twitched slightly as he imagined that he could still smell the intoxicating aroma of his mates' arousal, then he realised that the scent was coming from him, that he was covered in their essence from their bonding last night.

He reluctantly headed for the shower, unwilling to wash away the evidence of their union but knowing it had to be done. At least then he would be presentable enough to see Wesley and Cordelia, and put on his tried and true "nothing bothers me" routine.

Letting the water rinse him clean, Angel battled to keep thoughts of Willow and Spike from his mind. He tried to focus on something asexual and non-arousing, and so he was reciting the methods of killing Gnata demons when he was suddenly overwhelmed by a rush of emotions: fear/ terror/ frustration/ anger, but most of all pain.

Angel fell to his knees in the shower, trying to calm himself while he rode out the emotional storm. He knew immediately what was wrong, and after several minutes of struggling to control his own emotions he finally stumbled from the shower.

He heard the office phone ring, and quickly dried himself, hunting for clean clothes. Angel ran to the lift as his vampiric hearing easily picked up Cordelia's voice.

"Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless ... Willow! Willow, how are you? Listen, Angel's downstairs, let me .... What? What do you mean? I think you should talk to Angel ... Willow? Willow?"

And then Angel reached the door of his office in time to see Cordelia put the phone down with an unhappy look.

"That was Willow," she told her boss, noting his unusually expressive face, which clearly showed his disappointment. "Apparently there was some trouble, but everything is OK now and Willow doesn't want you to worry."

Angel looked at her helplessly, then sat down in a nearby chair. Cordelia waited for the usual brooding expression to settle on his face and for her boss to seek out a dark corner, but to her surprise Angel continued to sit opposite her, and Cordelia had the strangest sensation - that he wanted to talk to her!

If there were two things Cordelia loved (apart from shopping, of course) they were gossiping and giving advice, and it seemed to her that she may just be about to hit the mother lode.

"Did Willow say what happened?" Angel asked suddenly.

"No," said Cordelia, trying to encourage her boss to keep talking, "how did you know to come upstairs?"

Angel looked at her, and deciding he had nothing to lose except his pride Angel poured out the whole saga of the ritual, leaving out the more personal bits. He was hoping that Cordelia, admittedly not actually a friend of Willow's but at least someone who knew her, might be able to give him some useful feedback on what the hell he should do.

Cordelia sat back, a knowing look in her eyes. "OK, now tell me the rest."

"What do you mean, the rest?" asked Angel nervously.

"I know that there is way more to it than that, Mr Mysterious. OK, let's start with the easy one, you and Spike. Do you mind him being your mate?"

Angel hesitated before simply saying, "No."

"But what about the whole horrible torture over the Gem of Amarra? And him being a, you know, a demony kind of demon except for his chip?"

Angel smiled slightly. "I've tortured Spike so many times in the past - well, when I was Angelus - that I can't really blame him for enjoying letting me have a taste of my own medicine. Anyway, as for the chip, hopefully that will keep working so we won't have to worry about it. But I think between Willow and I we could keep Spike in line without too much trouble."

"And when Drusilla decides she wants her toyboy back?"

Angel's expression darkened dramatically. "Now that, I don't know. Dru is Spike's sire, and he must obey her. But I am Dru's sire, so she must obey me. If she turns up, there will definitely be trouble.

I just hope that the bond is strong enough to keep Spike with us."

Cordelia noted his use of the word "us"; a little optimistic in her opinion, given the current state of play.

"Hey, what about your soul" Cordelia asked suspiciously. It seemed obvious to her that true happiness could be a real problem.

"The ritual that we did last night bound my soul and demon to the bond that we share. I can't lose my soul."

Cordelia was not so easily convinced. "Are you sure?" She caught her breath at the look on Angel's face, and knew that he was finally over his - in her opinion - ridiculously misplaced admiration for that tart Buffy.

"I'm sure," said Angel calmly, knowing in his heart that if he could have lost his soul by experiencing true happiness, then he would have lost it several times over last night.

"Hmm," said Cordelia thoughtfully, rethinking her approach. "What about Spike and Angelus? I mean, do you think Spike resents you for not being more of a demon?" asked Cordelia, as she tried to figure out just how many insurmountable problems she was dealing with here.

Angel smiled slightly. "That's one good thing about the chip. Now Spike is like me, and he knows that Angelus would never accept him the way that he is, unable to kill humans. My soul and his chip leave us almost in the same boat, so I don't think he wishes now that I were more demonic. Plus Spike and I have always had a, well, a physical connection despite the soul, and I know that he enjoyed last night as much as I did. Spike's always been a physical person rather than a thinker," concluded Angel with a smirk.

"Ewww, gross much. OK, OK, moving on, why doesn't Spike want to stay in LA with you? Is it just because of the whole Drusilla thing?"

"Mostly, I guess. Dru loved to play Angelus and Spike off against each other, and Angelus always won. I suppose Spike is glad to finally have someone who is just his."

"Yes, but she's not, is she" Cordelia pointed out.

Angel ran his hands through his hair, destroying the gelled perfection and demonstrating to Cordelia just how upset he really was.

"The thing about Dru, she really belonged to Angelus, I mean when it was just the two of them, her and Spike, she was never happy. Spike was not enough for her, and he really worshipped her, she was his sire plus he loved her, soulless demon or not. When we were all together Spike and I usually got on fine despite Dru's games. I sometimes wonder if the real purpose of her games wasn't to keep Spike and I apart; she did so love to be the centre of attention."

"Focus!" snapped Cordelia. They had enough ground to cover without wandering down every alley off memory lane. "What does this have to do with our Spike?"

"Well, I suppose he's worried that I'll leave them, and he'll be left again with someone that he loves who he can never make happy."

They were both silent for a moment, before Cordelia asked gently, "Do you think that maybe Spike is worried more about you leaving him? I mean, it wasn't just Dru that Angelus left behind. Maybe Spike doesn't want to get hurt again."

As unlikely as it seemed, Angel knew first hand that while Spike had a vicious streak that would make any vampire proud, he also had a very non-vampiric ability to love, which both Angelus and Dru had exploited whenever it was convenient.

"But this time I can't leave him; well, I mean obviously we can be apart, but the bond will always be there."

"Yes," said Cordelia cautiously, "but you were his grandfather and you left him. I thought that blood ties were the most important connection in the vampire world." Angel looked at her, surprised both by her knowledge and also that she had made a good point.

"Then he'll never trust me despite the bond," said Angel morosely.

"Hello! Mr Give Up Before I Try Anything! I mean, the guy let himself get bonded to you for eternity, don't you think that's kind of a good sign? Besides, never give up hope. You just need to make a list: "Things I need to do to get my mates to live with me" and put at number one, "get Spike to trust me again."

Angel grimaced, but Cordelia merely waved her hand at him. "Now, now, think positive. OK, so that's Spike dealt with. Now before we move on I have to ask first about Buffy. I mean, now that your soul is safe, what about leaving Spike and Willow alone and trying to rekindle that old doomed love routine?"

Cordelia smiled inwardly at Angel's obvious discomfort, pleased to see not the slightest trace of desire on his face. Angel knew that Cordelia was enjoying putting him on the spot, but he decided that he needed to say what he had already concluded.

"Buffy and I were never meant to be, and both of us knew it could never work. I would have to say that a large part of my attraction to her came from a desire to irritate my demon, and to try to deny what I am. Of course," he said, "that's with the benefit of hindsight. At the time it felt like true love."

Cordelia leaned over to pat his shoulder sympathetically. "Thank God you've finally seen the light. I would have thought a few minutes conversation with that girl would be enough torture for anyone, even a broodaholic like you."

Returning Angel's smirk, Cordelia leaned back and assumed her most businesslike expression. "Now that we've got that out of the way, let's move onto the most interesting part. You and Willow."

Angel tried to keep his face blank but knew he had failed by the predatory gleam in Cordelia's eyes. She sensed a secret, and he knew she wouldn't let him go until she had heard it all. He tried to decide whether he wanted to confide in Cordelia, of all people. But it didn't seem like he had so many options, and he had already told her more than he had intended...

"Well," said Angel, causing Cordelia to lean forward with anticipation, "that, that's a bit more complicated."

Willow and Spike walked slowly back to the house, Willow lost in her thoughts and Spike seething at the sheer stupidity and maliciousness of the Slayer.

(And they say I'm evil,) he thought to himself, noting Willow's absorbed expression and wishing for a moment that Angel were there; the poof always seemed to know the right thing to say to a woman, and Spike had often been impressed at the skill of Angelus in calming Dru when she was in one of her more irrational moods.

He decided to opt for the safe bet, and maintained his silence as they continued to stroll hand in hand. Spike's ears soon picked up the rapid footsteps approaching from behind, and he muttered "Bloody Hell, what now," causing Willow to break from her reverie and look behind them.

"Giles!" she exclaimed, a relived smile breaking over her face as the ex-Watcher finally caught up with them.

"Willow, Spike, uh, well, obviously I'm awfully sorry for earlier, I mean, well, there's no excuse but I'm sure that Buffy will calm down soon. I am seeing her tomorrow and I will try to get her to see reason."

Willow put on her best resolve face, and told Giles, "Let's not discuss Buffy, OK? I'm sure we can find plenty of other topics of conversation."

And with that the trio continued on their way, with Giles asking Willow and Spike several questions about the current state of their bond. When they reached Willow's home they moved inside, still discussing the limited amount of knowledge that they had.

"But in your dreams, did they explain how the release of energy would change the bond?"

"No, just that it would change," said Willow, as frustrated as Giles by the lack of information available.

Spike stood up, and told Willow "I'm going to have a smoke," wandering outside as Willow smiled with appreciation at his giving her a chance to talk to Giles in privacy.

Giles looked at Willow over his glasses. "I see Spike is improving his grasp of tact. Must be your good influence."

Willow smiled slightly, and giving Giles a reproving look she said "Anyone who could survive both Angelus and Dru has lots of hidden talents," drawing an answering smile from Giles.

The two chatted amiably about nothing in particular until Giles decided he would try to draw the conversation back to his original topic.

"Willow, ah, I would hope that you would feel, that is, if you ever need someone to talk to, then I am always here for you, and I am always ready to help you in any way that I can."

Willow could hear the sincerity in his voice, and marveled at all the strange coincidences and events that had made friends of an ex-Watcher and a failed Wiccan geek.

She turned an idea over in her mind, and said slowly, "Giles, let's say you had a secret, and you knew if anyone found out it would really, really upset someone - or a few someones - people that you really cared about. And this secret had already been a secret for a while."

Willow's voice trailed off.

Giles tried to work out exactly what Willow was talking about, and said cautiously, "Ah, well, why do you want to tell this secret?"

Willow chewed her lip. "Well, suppose the secret was, OK, hmmm." Willow tried to think of some way to explain without actually - well, explaining. She tapped her foot in frustration, and Giles tried to ease matters by saying gently, "Willow, whatever you want to say, I can sure you it will go no further than these walls."

Still unsure, Willow considered her options, and the moment was broken by the sound of Spike returning. Giles rose, and said to Willow, "I'll drop by tomorrow night, if I may?"

"I'd like that," said Willow, as Giles said goodbye to Spike then left the couple alone. Spike sat next to Willow, pulling her onto his lap and leering at her. "Alone at last," he purred, relieved to see her giggle as some of the tension left her body.

Spike had learnt two things about women during his long unlife. The first was that you could never understand them completely. The second was how to tell when a woman was, well not lying exactly, but hiding something. And it had been apparent to Spike, when he and Willow had agreed in Angel's apartment that Angel should be included as the Third, that there was something Willow was not telling him.

Willow had been much more reluctant than Spike to accept Angel, and she had obviously been unhappy at the lack of alternatives. (I mean,) thought Spike, (Angel's meant to be her friend and she'd rather have Dru!) And Willow had been too eager to accept his conditions about Angel staying alone in LA.

Plus there was Angel's whole 'no questions asked' agreement to get involved in the eternal bond, and he hadn't shown any interest in chasing after the Slayer now that his soul was permanent.

Spike figured that Willow would tell him eventually; after all, so far their time together had not been that heavy on conversation. But he was not known for his patience. He had thought that she might feel more comfortable telling the Watcher first, but it didn't look as though she had taken advantage of his carefully timed exit.

So Spike fell back onto Plan B - not his preferred option, but still, it was guaranteed to work.

"Red," said Spike in his most serious voice, immediately drawing Willow's attention, "Look, I know we haven't spent much time talking, but there's something I need to tell you."

"Yes?" came the soft response. Spike could feel the tension in her small frame, and stroked her back slowly as he spoke.

"Bloody Hell pet, it's not the end of the world, OK, so just listen. You remember your spell, the one where I ended up engaged to Slutty?"

Without waiting for a response, Spike pressed on.

"So there I am with my brain fried by magic, actually finding the Slayer attractive! That was one damn powerful spell. Anyway one thing led to another and we shagged. I mean it was rotten, of course. To tell you the truth I think she's about the worst I ever had, even more irritating than Harmony if you can believe that. But there you have it. Oh, and don't let the Slayer know I told you because she told me I'd be dust if it ever got out. Although I guess I'm already on the "To Kill" list judging by recent events."

Willow stayed quiet as she thought about what he'd said. It certainly explained some of Buffy's anger - or did it?

"And that's the whole story, is it?" Willow asked in neutral tones.

Spike fiddled with her hair, and decided he'd better spill the rest of it, as it served the dual purpose of making Buffy look bad and giving him the moral high ground when it was his turn to press her for details.

"Actually I left out the best bit, but I thought you might have reached your limit for Buffy bad news."

Willow just looked at him, so Spike sighed needlessly and said, "Alright, alright, well after the spell was revoked, a couple of days later, let's just say I had an unexpected and unwanted visitor who was looking for a repeat performance."

"And did you?"

Spike made a vomiting noise. "Are you fucking crazy? With the Slayer? Pet, it's a testament to your magic that you could get me to shag that trollop at all."

"But I mean, she was dating Riley more or less ... what was she thinking?"

"You're joking right? I mean you have experienced the thrill ride of shagging yours truly, the Big Bad, William the Bloody, Scourge -" Spike stopped with a grunt as Willow elbowed him none too gently in the stomach.

"Bloody women, no sense of humour," Spike muttered before a glimpse of Willow's face and her no-nonsense look convinced him to get on with it.

"Well, believe it or not, it seems her one time with Peaches made a lasting impression, and she just can't get the same, uh, bite from a bloke with a pulse. Anyway she told me if I ever mentioned it no-one would believe me and she'd kill me slowly, so it didn't seem worth discussing."

"So why did you tell me now?" asked Willow.

"Because I wanted you to understand one of the reasons Buffy is not going to be very happy about us. And I don't want to have any secrets between us."

Spike watched the impact of his last words; Willow's face paled and she avoided his gaze. (And the vampire scores) Spike smirked to himself, and he was so busy congratulating himself on his masterly manipulation that Willow's next words took him by surprise.

"Uh huh. So you didn't tell me because you want me to feel guilty for not telling you my secret?"

"Your secret?" Spike said weakly.

"Yeh, you know, the one about me and Angel?"

Spike wisely chose to remain silent.

Cordelia could hardly control her curiosity. A secret about Angel and Willow! Who would've thought it, she had always dismissed Willow as too boring to bother with, but it looked as though she might have underestimated the redhead.

"Well, you know that when I was in Sunnydale I didn't exactly have a wide circle of friends," said Angel dryly. "A couple of weeks after I met Willow for the first time I saw her walking home one night, and I followed her, just in case."

Having grown up on the Hellmouth, Cordelia nodded her understanding of all the things that made "just in case" make sense.

"Anyway a vampire attacked Willow, and I saved her, and we, well, we had an actual conversation. And then I would often see her at the Bronze while I was waiting for Buffy to show up, and we would talk ... I mean really talk, about ideas and opinions and history. Those conversations were pretty much the high point of my life back then."

"Apart from seeing Buffy," noted Cordelia.

"That as a mixed pleasure. I mean I liked her, a lot, but my demon detested her. Just being in the same room as her made him crazy. But he liked Willow; he enjoyed her company as much as I did. It was one of the few things we agreed on. And then she came to my apartment to set up a computer for me, and after that Willow used to drop by a couple of times a week for an hour or so, and we would play chess and talk. She was my only real friend."

Cordelia could tell that they were getting to the good bit, so she urged him on. "And?"

Angel's expression turned grim, and he looked away from Cordelia as he continued to speak. "One night we were at my place, and I was relaxed, having a nice time, when Angelus took over."

Seeing Cordelia's shocked expression, Angel grimaced. "It had never happened before. I mean, he would often try to tempt me to do something, or provoke me with memories or mental images, but he'd never had the strength to force me to act against my will. But that night, I don't know how he did it, I just felt him slip past me and the next thing I knew he was in control. I panicked, but nothing I did seemed to work. I couldn't put him back in his cage."

By this stage Cordelia was leaning forward, her eyes wide.

Angel paused again, obviously reliving the events of that night. "At first he just kept talking to Willow, she had no idea that anything was wrong. Then he, well, he started talking about being a vampire, and blood, and how much he missed human blood, and to be fair, he sounded quite reasonable. And you know Willow, how, how ..."

"Sickeningly nice?" Cordelia helpfully suggested.

"Warm-hearted she is," continued Angel, "of course he knew she would suggest that if he really wanted she wouldn't mind, that she was his friend, and the demon was telling her that it doesn't even hurt and he just wanted a tiny taste and the next thing I know Angelus has his fangs in her neck and I can clearly see what is in his mind - he is going to turn her. Somehow that knowledge gave me the strength I needed to wrest control back from him, and I got Willow home as fast as I could. After that I tried to avoid her as much as I could. I didn't trust myself - or my demon - near her."

Cordelia waited for him to continue, and when he looked like he might be about to slip into a brooding mood she quickly spoke. "Did you ever explain to Willow what had happened?"

"No, I couldn't. I mean, then she would always worry that I was going to lose control again. I didn't want to scare her."

"And what about when Angelus really did come back?"

Angel winced. "He spent a lot of time, uh, stalking Willow. He left her lots of presents, most fairly tame - drawings, poems. I guess she never told anyone because she didn't want them to worry about her. But if Angelus had'nt had Buffy to distract him, Willow wouldn't be alive today."

Cordelia thought about what Angel had said, and tried to understand what he thought the problem was. "So, are you still worried about the demon getting control?"

"Yes," said Angel bluntly. "I know Willow is immortal now, or will be soon, but even so Angelus could do a lot of damage. I don't want Willow to get hurt."

"And haven' you ever thought that the night Angelus took control, he only did what you had probably wanted to do? And that he didn't hurt her? And when he wanted to go too far, you were able to stop him before any damage was done?"

Seeing Angel frown, Cordelia pressed on. "And last night? Did Angelus get control then?"

Angel considered the question, and was surprised to find that he couldn't answer. "Well, no, but ... I don't know how to explain it."

"Like you and the demon wanted the same thing? Like you were the same person?"

Angel's shock showed on his face. That was exactly what it had felt like.

Cordelia huffed impatiently. 'Duh! Look, you're in love with her, he's in love with her, the bond has linked your soul and demon together and both of them to Willow. What did you think was going to happen? Your problem is that you don't make an effort to get to know people. I mean I'll bet you and your demon have lots in common."

"Cordelia, my demon is a psychopathic killer who enjoys torturing humans and who on his last visit tried to suck the world into Hell."

"Lighten up! Look, being forced to have sex with Buffy would make anyone crazy. And Angelus obviously has much better taste in women than you do, plus being a lot more outgoing." Ignoring Angel's raised eyebrow, Cordelia continued. "And a much better dress sense."

?Sensing that she was moving somewhat off-track, Cordelia decided she had bonded enough with her boss for one day, and it was time to wrap things up.

"Look, I'm sure that between you and Spike you can keep your demon under control, even if he wanted to hurt Willow which you don't know for sure. Just talk to Willow, explain everything. Remember, honesty is the best policy."

(Wow, I really must have run out of things to say. Honesty is the best policy??) Shaking her head, Cordelia grabbed her bag and headed home, leaving Angel to wonder when Cordelia had gotten so good at solving other people's problems - and whether it could really be that simple.