Dawn had a scowl on her pretty face; she hated having a big sister. Just because Dawn had told Buffy about Spike's feelings, the Great and Powerful Slayer had arranged for Tara and Willow to uninvite him from the house. As if that was not bad enough, she had forbidden her to go anywhere near the bleached blonde vampire. Now, that just sucked. Spike was way cool, he told her stories and listened to her. When everyone else had lied to her, he had been straight with her. He understood Buffy was just so ... so ... well she didn't know just what to call her right then, but she'd think of something. And if Her Highness, Queen Buffy thought that she was going to stay away from Spike, she had another think coming.
Carefully, the fourteen year-old packed a stake and cross into her jacket pockets. She would show Buffy, she'd show them all. Quietly, she locked her door, turned off the light, and climbed out the window. Dawn made her way carefully down the trellis and set off for one of Sunnydale's numerous cemeteries.
Dawn picked her way through the tombstones, flinching when she heard a noise behind her. She spun around to see... Spike was leaning against a tree, cigarette in hand, and a quizzical look on his chiseled face. "So, Pet, snuck out again, have you? And what is big sister slayer, gunner say?"
"Don't know, don't care."
"What�re you doing here anyway?"
"I just want to hang with you. I ... you treat me like a real person. Not like I'm some mystical thing. You seem to understand me, what I'm dealing with. I want to patrol with you."
"Now pet, if the slayer finds you with me, you know that she'll try to put a stake in me. I don't really fancy fitting in a dust buster."
"She won't find out from me. I promise Spike. Please, please. Let me hang with you?" The tiny brunette pouted and looked up helplessly at him with all the talent he'd seen the Slayer use from time to time.
"Now, kitten, there's lots of bad things loose in Sunnydale after dark. I might protect you from some of them, but that's not true for the bloody humans. I can't even protect myself from them."
"But, Spike �" she whined in her best 'I'm gonna get what I want voice.'
"Sorry Luv, but I don't see any upside for me in this. Buffy'll slay me for my troubles." He flashed a killer grin at the teenager. "'Sides, pet, where I plan on going, you can't follow."
"Why not?"
"�Cause, Willys don't let you in without an I.D. Or a set of fangs. You don't qualify on either count. Now be a good girl and let me take you home."
"Spike, you want something out of it to make it worth your while to take me with you, right?"
"Pet, I hate to break it to you, but you don't have anything I want."
"Yes I do," she said in a sing-song voice.
"And what would that be, little girl?" he asked with a sigh.
She smirked at the vampire. "An invitation."
Spike stiffened as he felt � something. He stepped protectively in front of Dawn as four minions charged them. He felt a rush of complete joy as he blocked the first punch and kicked the second in the stomach. He threw himself into the brawl, being careful to keep the mortal between him and a tombstone. He let all his frustration go as he snapped first one, then the second and finally a third neck. The fourth he pulled against his body; grabbing his hair with one muscular hand, exposing his throat. With a growl, he sank his teeth into the minion's jugular, draining him and throwing away the dry husk. He turned back to the frightened teenager and found her standing with a stake in one hand and a cross in the other. "Hells below, kitten, put that bloody cross away!"
Dawn slowly put the cross back into her pocket while still clutching the stake, "Spike," she said with a shiver, "You're still all 'grrr.'" As she spoke, her fingers made quotation marks in the dead night air.
"Sorry, pet." He concentrated on smoothing his features, resuming his handsome mask. "Are you all right?" She nodded. "Okay, it's time for me to take you home."
"But Spike �"
Spike felt true amusement, as he watched the teenager sulk. She did it nearly as well as he. She trudged along behind the vampire muttering under her breath about how unfair it was at every step. He grinned. Bloody hell, he actually liked the chit! Not that he ever had any intention of telling her that. She had a mouth on her, too. "Hey,� he responded hotly as he heard her. �I am not nor have I ever been a poofter. That's Peaches, you silly twit. 'Sides which, do you even know what a poofter is?"
"Yeah, it's what you call Angel. And it's what you are �cause you�re making me go home." The 'so there' remained unspoken. After all she was fourteen now. She was too mature to say 'nah, nah, nah' to anyone.
As Spike swung around to glare at Dawn, he recognized her expression as one he had worn often. The one that said 'I'm alone, no one understands, no one really cares about what I think.' Calming his expression, he spoke in a low voice, "Luv, you are important. To your family, your friends and to me. I'd never forgive myself if I got you hurt."
"I won't get hurt."
Spike started to reply to that asinine remark when he heard faint noises in the bushes ahead. Looking around for a defensible position, he could see nothing. They were still several blocks from Revello Drive and there was no way the kid could outrun whatever was lying in wait for them. �Bloody hell,� he thought �this made two attacks in under an hour.� He looked down at the diminutive brunette. "Pet, there's something up there and I'm not sure what it is. I'm going to distract it, all right? I want you to run just as fast as your legs will take you. Straight home, got it?"
She shivered then drew herself up. Since she was a tiny little thing, the show of bravado was useless, but she tried. "Spike, what if there are more than �"
"More than I can handle? Well then, I guess your sister will never know what she's missing out on. When I say run, you go fast as you can, pet, and don�t stop."
He carefully positioned himself in front of her to provide a shield. Then he sauntered unconcernedly down the sidewalk. Just as he reached the corner, something large and scaly hit him from the side. He didn't recognize the type of demon, but gave himself over to the joy of the fight. His demon loved these unplanned bouts of violence. The combatants rolled into what appeared to be a ball of skin, claws, fangs and scales. Growls and yowls came from the melee as they fought. It seemed to go on forever. Spike finally got a grasp on the ugly's head, and by exerting all of his considerable strength, he snapped it's neck.
Dragging himself to his feet, he surveyed the carnage. Not too bad, he was bleeding from about a dozen claw and bite marks, but he'd live, or unlive as the case may be. He heard something he knew he shouldn't hear. Turning his head he stared straight down into Dawn's eyes. He shook his head in disbelief.
Yeah, she was still there. His eyes glowed a brilliant gold as he growled at her. "I thought I told you to run!"
"But, Spike," she wailed, "There was only one!"
"One could have been enough! I told you to run!. What part of run> did you not understand?" Cursing under his breath, he latched onto her hand and began to drag her towards home and safety, while Dawn continued to whine, "But Spike ..."
Several nights later, Spike was standing outside his crypt. He had finally gotten through to that git of an engineer that he would die if he didn't make Buffy for him. With Buffy at his side, he could leave Sunnyhell and never return. His thoughts turned to Dawn. He would regret never seeing her again, but she had made it clear just how much she hated him. He threw down his cigarette, and pushed open the door to his home.
He froze. His keen senses picked up sounds that shouldn't be there, it sounded like a heartbeat, breathing, leftover tears. He recognized the scent of his kitten. He rushed into the dank crypt to find Dawn seated in his recliner.
He could see the tear tracks on her face. "What is it pet, has something happened to the slayer?" The words just jumped out of his mouth.
"No, Buffy's alright. It's ... it's ..." the teenager collapsed in a flood of tears as she tried to say what she still could not believe. "Mom."
"Joyce?" Spike drew the sobbing girl to his chest, "Kitten, what the hell is wrong with Joyce? I thought those bloody doctors had fixed her."
Dawn drew in a determined breath, she knew how much Spike had cared for her mom. "Spike, Mom is d �" she tried to say. Finally she managed to get it out. "Mom�s dead." She buried her face in the cool cotton shirt covering her friend's chest and sobbed.
Spike shook his head, she couldn't be just gone. He knew she was angry at him now, but she would forgive him. Joyce always forgave him. Dead? Wait just a bloomin� second here, he thought.
"Kitten, calm down. I need you to tell me who did this to your mum. Who hurt her? Why?" His demon roared the need for vengeance.
"Nobody did. They said that she just went to sleep and never woke up. Buffy found her on the couch when she came in tonight. Spike how can she just be dead? I don't understand. I mean I know, but she's mom. She's not supposed to leave me. It�s not fair!"
"Shh, Kitten. I'm sure she didn't want to leave, but she had to. She knew that there would be a lot of people standing in line to take care of you. Hell, she even knew the Big Bad would do whatever it took to keep you from getting hurt. You tell anyone that and I'll deny it. Afer all, I do have a bleedin� reputation to protect."
Spike forced himself to smile at the teenager cuddled against him. Cor, she reminded him so much of himself at times. She appeared all piss and wind, when really she was just a kitten in need of someone to look out for her. He wished that he had that; had someone to protect him from Angelus. Oh no, wait a sec, no he didn't. He would keep the baddies away from this young lady though. She would live a long and good life; unless she decided to become a cat burglar, he thought with a grin. The Big Bad would make sure of that. "Half a mo�, pet, didn't you say you hate me this afternoon? What happened to change your mind?"
"I never hated you, but if I told them that you were my friend they would send Buffy after you with lots of sharp sticks. I had to protect you."
"Now, that's funny. You protecting me? Kitten you can't protect yourself. If you wander around in cemeteries on the Hellmouth during the middle of the night looking for a vampire, sooner or later your going to find one that's not me. How�re you doing, Kitten? I need to get you home before the slayer finds you gone and comes looking for you. I really don't want to get up close and personal with Mr Pointy."
The tiny brunette sniffed once or twice, wiping her eyes."Yeah Spike, you can walk me home. I�ll have to sneak in through my window." She grinned up at the blond vampire. "Piece of cake."
"So Kitten, we friends?"
"Yeah Spike, we're friends," she looked up at him and parroted his words back at him. "But, don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to protect."
Dawn looked up at the blond vampire, walking beside her. Spike had a profound look of grief on his beautiful face. There were traces of blood in the corners of his eyes. She had known that he cared for her momma, but she hadn't realized just how much. Dawn stumbled slightly as they approached the park. Spike caught her elbow to steady her, and felt the teenager trembling. He slipped one arm around her thin shoulders and brought her to his chest as her tears began to fall.
"Do you need to sit down, kitten?"
She nodded wanly as Spike guided her to a secluded bench. She cried silently, the tears drops of sadness made manifest as they poured down her face. Spike simply wrapped his arms around her, holding her as she wept. After long minutes, the brunette sniffed and pulled away from the vampire to wipe her face with grimy hands. Spike dug in the pockets of his duster. Finally, finding a handkerchief that was clean, he gently wiped the tearstains from the girls' face. The mismatched pair sat in silence as they thought about the past and, in their own way, each wondered how they could go on without the woman they both thought of as mum in their lives; or unlife as the case may be.
Finally Spike broke the silence, "They are sure it was something to do with the tumor?"
"The doctor said that a wall weakened and broke. He said that it was fast and that Momma would�ve felt very little pain. I saw her you know. I snuck back into the morgue and saw her. She looked like Momma but she was cold. Is Momma cold?"
"No, kitten, your mum�s not cold. I know for a fact that there is a hell, and I believe there's a heaven. As surely as we�re sitting here, your mum�s in heaven. Kitten, she'll never be cold again."
"You're not just saying that to make me feel better?" The teenager turned a determined face up to him. "�Cause I can deal. This is horrible, but I can-no I have to deal."
"Kitten, I don�t doubt that Joyce is in heaven. She was one of the best women I�ve ever known. She didn't judge, just accepted that there was good in everyone. She brought out that good, even in me. She always made me feel better then I really am." Spike had to choke back sobs before he could continue. "She made me hot chocolate, with those little marshmallows. She understood more than anyone I've ever known." Dawn reached up and traced the trails of blood running down the face of the vampire. She sighed as she accepted, finally, that her momma was not coming back.
Spike sniffed and suddenly smelled what he had missed before. "Kitten when were you attacked? I can smell another vampire on you."
"A fledgling woke up in the morgue while I was there and tried to have me for breakfast, Buffy got there in time to save me though. I'm alright. It's not like I'm not getting used to it. It seems that everytime I turn around something is trying to kill me."
Spike grinned slightly, looking down at his, oh, bloody hell, best friend. "Dawn, they should have named you Dawnty. You�re a demon magnet."
A tremulous smile slowly appeared on Dawn's face, "It must run in the family."
Together they sat and accepted what was to both of them unacceptable. And together they stood, knowing that there would be more storms of grief but accepting that they would go on.
"C�mon Kitten, let's get you safe home."
Spike watched as his Kitten clambered up the trellis and into her window. He turned away, knowing that he would never set foot in the Summers home again. He thought about his plans for a made to order slayer and wondered if it wasn't a major mistake. If he went through with it, would Dawn understand. He didn't quite understand himself, he just knew he wanted Buffy however he could get her.
But was he willing to lose Dawn to his obsessive love for her sister? He faced the fact that while he was in love or lust or some bloody thing with the slayer, the love he felt for his little friend was a much purer, a more spiritual, love. There was nothing sick about the concern he felt for Dawn, unlike the desire he felt for the slayer. He thought of Dawn as a little sister, someone to be protected and cared for. Someone that he had to protect from ever facing the life he was forced to live. All bleedin� right, so he wasn't forced to live his unlife, he liked it. He liked it even more now that Dru had taught him how to get around the fucking chip in his skull. He could at least defend himself, and Dawn, from humans when they went out on patrol. Yeah, he admitted to himself, he was going to let Dawn patrol with him and he was going to teach her every dirty trick in the book; to make sure she could defend herself. After all, she was a demon magnet. He got to kill a lot of things when she was around.
He finally admitted to himself that the big bad was no longer interested in eating every person that came down the pike, but that didn't mean that he didn't intend to feed. In fact, he was beginning to get a bit hungry. It was time to go find some poor sod and not drain him of all his blood, just some of it. It tasted so much better when you decanted it from the original container.
He also had to pay a visit to the morgue, he had last respects to pay to someone, and this was likely to be the only chance he would get. Knowing the slayer, Joyce's funeral would be at high noon, in a cemetery with not a tree on the place. Sighing an unnecessary breath, he headed for the hospital and his final farewell to a friend.
Dawn quietly crossed the dark room and sat on her bed. She turned the little lamp on, the one that her mom had got for her fifth birthday because she was afraid of the dark. Her heart stuttered as she realized that she had no idea where the lamp really came from, she just remembered that it came from Mama. She started as a hand was laid on her shoulder. She spun around to see Buffy, standing there with a stern look on her face. "Where have you been, Dawn? I've been worried sick."
"I had to get out, be alone. If you had known, you wouldn't have let me go. So I went to the park, and sat and thought about where Momma is now."
"Dawn, it's not safe to go wandering around at night. You know that. You shouldn't sneak out of the house, I can't protect you if I don't know where you are."
"Like you didn't spend years sneaking out before Momma found out you were the slayer."
"That's different ..."
"Oh, I see. It's okay for the slayer to break the rules, but it�s not okay for your precious key to. I get it now. Do as I say, not as I did."
Buffy looked helplessly at the back of the little girl she remembered loving her whole life. How was she supposed to treat this stranger that had 'grown up' under her eyes? How was she supposed to support and love this child, who was an ancient energy source made human. Hell. She couldn't even control her own life, let alone Dawn's. Who did she think she was fooling, she needed help.
Dawn never turned to face her and said quietly, "Go away, I want to be left alone."
Buffy quietly slipped from the room, closing the door behind her. She went downstairs to the phone. She tapped her fingernails on the kitchen counter as she waited for someone to pick up the phone. Finally it was answered. "Daddy, I need you."
"Daddy, Momma died this afternoon. I'm sorry. I just don't know how else to tell you. Dawn isn't taking it very well and �"
"Dad, what do you mean, 'Who's Dawn?' You know, Dawn, 14, pain in the �"
"No, Dad, I guess I�m just upset. No, I don't know what the arrangements will be yet."
"Fine, I'll talk to you later."
Oh, God what was she going to do now. How could her own father not know who Dawn was? Buffy snapped out of her funk, she needed to talk to Giles and she needed to talk to him immediately. She hit speed dial on the phone, waited impatiently, finally, "Giles, get over here now, we've got a problem."
"Buffy, is that you?" sleepily came the reply.
"Duh, yes Buffy. Get over here! Big problem that is going to get bigger."
"Give me 15 minutes. I'll be right there." somewhat more alertly.
Spike looked down at the woman who had become his first human friend and tears ran down his face. "Bloody hell, why'd you have to go and die? Who'll give me hot chocolate with those neat little marshmallows in it now? I'm sorry that I was never able to tell you how just much I cared. I wish I could go back and say it to you now. I did care for you, Joyce. I'll miss you so much." He gently laid one hand against her cold cheek. "I promise that I'll protect Dawn from anything that could hurt her." He added, quickly, "Even Buffy."
He turned with a swirl of his duster and left the morgue, if he was going to teach Dawn to survive on the Hellmouth he needed to get a few things; and that meant he had to contact his grandsire. He knew that Angel would help him, reluctantly, but he would help.
"Giles, I talked to Dad. I don't know how or why; but he doesn't remember Dawn at all. He has no idea that she exists. How am I going to tell Dawn that the only parent she has left doesn't know who she is?"
Giles steepled his fingers in front of his face and thought. "Er � um, this is unexpected. I don't know how, but we know that we must tell her. I don't think we want another episode of her discovering a truth we've withheld from her. I think that we should tell her as soon as possible."
"Yeah, but how? Giles I simply don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be the parent of a fourteen year old. I need help. She sneaked out tonight, to walk in the park and think of mom she said, but �"
"That�s not good. She could be in grave danger."
"And I didn't know where she was so I couldn't protect her. Giles, what am I gonna do?"
Giles cleaned his glasses and thought, hard. "I�ll help you all I can Buffy, but I've never been a parent either."
"You've been more of a father to Willow, Xander and I then our own fathers ever have. Doesn't that count for something?"
Dawn turned over restlessly. She just couldn't sleep. She needed to-she didn't know what she needed, but she knew it wasn't here. She would have to wait for morning to go to the crypt, but she thought Spike might have at least some of the answers. She settled back against her pillows and closed her eyes. Maybe she could sleep now.
Spike hung up the phone.It had been a struggle but the poof was coming through with the green. Now all he needed to do was call his supplier, arrange to pick up the training gear and find a house or something. It wouldn't do for his kitten to be traipsing around the cemetery at all hours. He needed to be someplace where she would be safe. It was getting close to sunrise, time to head for the crypt. He could do something about a house tomorrow night.
Dawn wandered into the kitchen still wearing her favorite �Hello Kitty� nightshirt. Her hair was mussed and her eyes sleepy. She never looked around but headed straight for the fridge and the milk. She turned around to set the milk and juice on the island and saw Giles and Buffy sitting at the table, staring at her. Oh no, this was not of the good. She stumbled to the table and took a seat. "Tell me," was all she had to say.
"Dawn, I don't know how to tell you, but here goes nothing. I called Daddy last night and told him about Mom. Dawn, he didn't know who you are. He doesn't remember you the way we do. I ..." Buffy stopped helplessly as tears started to roll down her pretty little sister's face. "I love you. You�re my sister. Don't ever forget that."
Giles glanced at the blonde who was in such pain. He shared oceans of support with her in a single glance. His heart broke as he watched his slayer tear apart the little girl's world, knowing that there was no other choice. They had kept the truth from her before, with dire consequences. They could not afford do it again. "Dawn, I wish I knew what to say to make it better, but I can only say that me and the gang care very deeply for you."
Dawn looked at the couple sitting at the table. She could see the strength flow between them and she knew that she had no real place here; there was only one place that she could go for the support she needed. "I have to get dressed for school," was her only comment as she left the room.
Buffy looked helplessly at Giles and leaned into his shoulder, accepting his strength. "I just don't know what to do."
"You'll do as you always do, the very best you can, and your best, Buffy, is formidable."
Minutes later they heard the door slam as Dawn left for school. "I hope she'll be alright. I'm worried about her, is going to school this soon of the good?'"
"I think we must let her maintain as much normality as we possibly can. We just have to be here to support her, when the time comes."
Dawn carefully slipped through the door of the crypt, careful not to let any more light in than necessary. She moved to sit in Spike's armchair, remembering her mom perched on the arm of the chair with Spike on the other, talking about Timmy and debating Passions. She quietly sat and reflected about not having a father. A father she loved so much and who, literally, didn't know she existed. She glanced at the blond, asleep on the cyrpt. She did have someone who loved her unconditionally. She might not have Dad, but she had Spike, she could learn to live with that.
Dawn gasped in horror. Bruises and cuts covered Spike's otherwise perfect body and, ewww, was that a hole in his chest? Buffy and the others had told her what had happened. It had taken Buffy forever to admit it, but Spike had nearly died to protect her. Buffy was all, �� he doesn't want to see me hurt. He's protecting you to protect me.� Ha ... I know better, he protected me because he loves me, and he would die before he would let anyone hurt me.
She heard a slight noise and realized that Spike was waking up. Carefully, she set her backpack in his ratty armchair, and withdrew a tupperware container of warm blood. The teenager carried it over to the groaning blond and sat it carefully on the slab that served as his bed, helping him sit up. As he leaned his battered head against her shoulder, she opened the container and watched in fascination as he morphed at the first whiff of blood. Raising the container to his lips, Dawn tipped the first mouthful of blood Spike had consumed since his brilliant plan had led to his escape from that utterly demented God bint.His pain began to ease as he drained the container of human ... wait just a bleedin� minute.
"Kitten, where in the name of Satan did you get human blood?" He drank deeply, as he waited for the girl's reply.
"Well ..."
She was going to tie her fingers into knots ala Dru if she didn't quit twisting them up like that. Spike mused.
"I heard how bad you were hurt, and I knew nobody would think of you needing to feed, and I eavesdropped on Willow and Buffy once ..."
A scarred eyebrow shot up, "Just the once, now why do I have a problem believing that one, kitten."
One patented Dawn dirty look later, she continued, "Anyway, I heard them talking about vampire's needing human blood to heal. So I went to Willie's and told him I had a special order for you. He kinda turned white and gave me the blood."
Spike licked the blood from his fangs, then smoothed his ridge's back into his handsome mask. He felt much better. He had been thinking as he had lain there, suffering the agony that Glory had inflicted on him. "Little bit, it's time for us to go. This Glory bint is too close. It won't be long before she finds you. It's not safe for you anymore. I'm sorry kitten, but the Slayer can't protect you. I've had things set up for a while, will you go with me?"
The teenager looked at the vampire as she thought. She was scared, very scared. She loved her sister and the Scoobies, but she trusted Spike. Somewhere deep inside of her, she knew ... he would keep her safe and protected. She would see her sister again someday; when it was safe. "Spike, when it's safe, can I see Buffy again?"
"Kitten, I promise you, once I know it's safe. When Glory�s gone, I'll make arrangements for you to see Buffy. So, Niblett, what's the verdict?"
"Spike, I ... yes, I'll go with you. But you have to find a way to let Buffy and Giles know that I�m safe."
Spike levered himself to his feet, painfully opening the trapdoor that led to the tunnels and his escape route. The blond handed Dawn her backpack and gingerly led her into the gloom beneath the crypt. He stopped briefly and pulled several pictures down, tossing them into a packed box. He picked up several of the boxes, and led the way through the dimly lit tunnels. Dawn looked around her in amazement as they opened up into a spacious garage, containing � Oh God, it was Spike's baby. The gleaming black Fireflite was aimed at the door. He opened the door and put her in the front seat, then deposited his burdens in the boot. He settled into the driver's seat and looked at her, "Fasten your seatbelt, Kitten, it's gonna be a bumpy ride."
The old Desoto started with a roar. The engine growled beneath the music that rolled from the speakers.
I am an antichristThe Fireflite roared out of the garage and into the night. The only sound the teenager made was a startled giggle when Spike ran over the Welcome to Sunnydale sign.