Blonde Hell
by Jerri
Spike ran his fingers through his short, curly, blond hair. It wasn't quite the hair style for the big bad, but Dawn had begged until he had done it. And he would've done anything to make the girl smile while Buffy was dead. While Buffy was dead. The world knew he was happy to have her back, but the way they had gone about it, that was just wrong. He wondered how her friends could have been convinced that she was in a hell dimension. She had been the greatest slayer ever, hell, he hadn't been able to kill her. And he had tried, really hard. She had done her job, and they assumed she was in Hell. With friends like that, who the hell needed him.
She was home, now and miserable. He was the only one she trusted to talk to about it. That warmed his unbeating heart, and chilled it at the same time. She trusted him, the big, bad. The problem was she trusted him because she was in hell, and had to talk to someone about it. That scared him, she had been in Heaven and now ... now she was in hell. Now she suffered for having done a good job. Now because of an arrogant witch and a group of wilful children, she was in a pain that made his headaches inconsequential. At least his pain stopped. He didn't think hers ever would. And he felt guilty, 'cause he knew he didn't want it to stop. If it did, she wouldn't need him anymore. He could put on the face of a white hat. He could be the friend and confident of the slayer, if that was what it took. What he couldn't take was her absence. He'd had several months of that, and didn't want anymore. He didn't want to save her every night in his dreams, and replay what had gone wrong every waking moment. Hell, he didn't want to be the poof.
So he would go on listening to her. He would be the supportive big brother for Dawn. He would ignore the children, and avoid the witch. And he would dream of more. He would dream of a future of blood and pain, while he tried to be her friend. He would remember the past glories, while he shared her hell. And he would love her.
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