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I'm not sure if it's because a curse has been placed on us by our parents and the Palms to discourage spending cash on food, or if we are truly this pathetic at grocery shopping, but I swear, we can't go to Walmart without the world crashing down and the water bottles running away. The first event was several weeks ago when Jimmy, Anna, and I discovered Lizzybeth was living on granola bars and the Loop (yuck) because she had developed a fear of the Palms. (Seriously, it's not that bad! Only place with a 100 rating yes?) We decided to teach her how to grocery shop. Now, all we needed were some college basics: water bottles, cereals, microwavable pastas and soup for drunk food, milk...Lizzy didn't even know you could buy milk small enough to fit in a dorm fridge! (Half gallons are plenty small...) It was going to be a long trip to the store. But our real adventre didn't happen until she dropped the 3 of us outside Langdale. We were taking all the groceries upstairs and she was parking the car. Well, you have never met 4 chicks who could pile up so much crap and then try to carry it all at once. Between the milk, fruit, cereal, and juice boxes, we had a very large load. And then there were the two 12-packs of Dasani...somehow I was given one cube of water bottles along with 4 overloaded bags, so I dangled the water by the plastic shrink wrap cover and treked off after Jimmy and Anna who had found a nice boy to open the door for them...he was standing outside our hall with about 6 other people, so when I shouted out "OH NO!" and dropped onto all fours to chase water bottles around Palms quad, they were all front row to laugh at my expense. Thankfully, that same nice boy rushed over and helped me stuff my water bottles back into my other bags (I had ripped the plastic shrink wrap), then held the door open for me. Finally I made it to the elevator being held open for me (thank goodness, because if I had shifted to push the button, there would have been another meltdown, and don't even let me think about the problems I could have caused on the stairs!) and decided to lighten my load for the ride up. I set everything onto the floor, and 3 seconds later when we reached the second floor I realized Big Mistake...picking everything back up again is even harder while trying to hold open the elevator doors with one foot and stretch out your arm to reach the water bottles that have already escaped under the lobby couch! I'm still wondering how the 3 of us finally subsided the giggles long enough to drag our groceries into our rooms, but by the time Lizzybeth made it back from the parking lot, the loose water bottles were hidden in Anna's fridge and we all promised I was never allowed to carry them again...but on the next trip to Walmart, we proved it doesn't really matter who has them....Yesterday, Lizzybeth and I went out on a much smaller scale. Just water bottles, juice boxes, and candy were on the list, but, of course, it still caused trouble. Because we didn't buy much, or so we thought, Lizzy bypassed the 20 minute parking spots surrounding Langdale and we decided to take our 2 bags and cube of water bottles and walk back from Oak Street. Oh my God, that trip never felt so long! First, my water bottles start leaking, but we can't figure out from which one because they are all still sealed and full to the top! So I'm trying to grip this and a bag, but my hands are slipping all around, and then Lizzy's bag pops a hole and she had to stop on the side of the road to repack it and adjust to carrying it like a baby just to avoid another incident. Well, eventually we reached Langdale and met a girl on my hall who opened the door for us upstairs, since both of us had zero free fingers to pull it with, and at that moment, a sole Dasani slipped out of the packaging. It hit the floor and began to fizz up and spew everywhere. Should spring water be fizzy? Maybe no, but at least we created a great new shopping tradition! Wanna go chase some water bottles with me? |
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