Earlier in this semester, one of Anna's accidents happened to inform her of a Maroon5 concert in Atlanta, and although that one was on a Wednesday night in October and would not be attened by any of us, it did start us discussing concerts. When we discover Lizzy was a concert virgin, we sought to find the perfect show to break her in...enter Star94's Jingle Jam, featuring Anna and my obsession Marron5, as well as Lizzy's idol Jessica Simpson. It was the perfect combination, and along with my friend Lynsey from Snellville (a fellow Maroon5 addict) we made plans for a girls night in December.
The night began with Lizzy parking in the middle of my street...literally. After I reparker her car slightly closer to the curb, we ruled her out as our chauffeur, and knowing my sense of direction, I was also eliminated as both driver and navigator, leaving Lynsey and the 80's station to take us to the concert...help us all. We arrived safely at Gwinnett Arena only to have to park almost on Sugarloaf Parkway and try to make our way to the concert hall safely...scratch safely, just alive would be alright, because on the way in Anna ran into a tree and I hit a parked car with my shoulder, once again proving the blondness of Malibu Barbie. This caused my roommate to pull me into the light and flip my head sideways to search for my roots and see how bad they had become. Picture apes grooming each other here and that's about the image we created for 100 other concert goers.
Making it to our seats without too many other incidents, we started listening to the local opening act...and I can now safely tell you exactly why no one good has ever been discovered in Gwinnett County. From our boredom of these boys, we started going through Lizzy's purse and found a full sized round hairbrush...I still don't know why it was there, but we vowed to use it as our microphone while singing "Harder to Breathe"...and sadly, we did. When the concert finally started, who should pop on screen but the the Queen of "Chicken of the Sea"...Jessica tried hard to retaliate for that comment, but only proceeded to confuse Lizzy beyond repair and after a sketchy set, she left us to go burp. To pass the time during set changes, Lynsey started text messaging her boyfriend Matt who was a level above us at the concert. Now it was time for the MAIN EVENT (at least in our eyes...) Maroon5! The second their set appear on stage, a cute blonde 6 rows ahead of us popped up infront of us and started screaming...all by herself. It was actually a little sad in a way because she just looked obsessed, but soon everyone else was standing with her and screaming and dancing along, so she no longer looked as crazy. But after 2 songs, the people around us began to sit back down and Lyns and I had de ja vous of our Matchbox20 concert this summer where we were surrounded by old people making out. Lizzy and I vowed to never get that old (most of them were around 30...) and get Botox until we looked 12 forever, then Lynsey was informed of the Botox bridal shower she would come to since she was going to be a bridesmaid with me and Anna in Lizzy's wedding...pretty decent for being friend's 3 hours. During this break, Lyns get a text from Matt...he had told his roommate Justin that I was Irish and Justin's reply..."she must be Irish, because my dick size is Dublin..." After trying to think up a great pickup line to respond with, we ended up just calling the boy and asking him to prove that (keep in mind I've never met or talked to him...) and we hear another roommate say in the background, "it's not hard for it to double, since it's just and inch long..." Ouch, lads can be harsh! Pumped up from this hilarious conversation and the last great set, we get ready for Sarah McClauchlin...and proceed to take a nap. Well honestly, when you begin your holiday concert by talking about slitting your wrist, do you really expect a great response? She did have one Maroon5-esque fan in front of us, but even her energy died out fast. The worst part was the the old biddies around us were crooning along and started yelling at us for talking too much...Just go buy her album lads, trust me, it would be more fun to listen to that during a root canal than coming to her concert...Finally the set finished and Anna and I used the last set change for an adventure. While she had been in the ladies room, I was playing with her phone and her friend Adam called. Having it in my head that I knew and talked to Adam, I answered...then remember that although I knew about the boy, when I thought I had been talking to him one night, I had really been talking to Anna playing a joke on me...so I told the boy how she used him and realized he knew me from my stories. It turns out that he was at the concert too with a fratboy lookalike Phillip, and we went off for a little visit...but they proved unexciting (sorry lads..) and we rushed back to our seats for Barenaked Ladies. Okay, I'll admit I couldn't remember any of these guys songs before the concert, but given that they fell off the face of the Earth for the past 2 years (did they fly into space with Lance Bass or something?) I can't really be blamed. But they performed an awesome set and gave us lots of chances to do goofy dances. The great concert ended with a 2 minute "meet and greet" with Matt and his roommates in the lobby...And several minutes later when we found the car, Lynsey got a text message from Matt saying the 3 roommates offered me my pick of them...not bad for a nights work! We ended the night by bopping along to "Hey Ya" 4 times in a row while sitting in the parking lot...I'm sure the four white girls headbanging and shaking imaginary Polariod pictures in a little sports car made the whole concert for all the people pointing and laughing...They were just jealous right?
