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Well tonight I was feeling tired and just no fun, so after dinner and some quality family time at Sojouner's Coffee House, I went back to Langdale and Anna, Jeanmarie, and Brent headed out to B's second home...Bungalow's. And as fun as the night was sounding each time they called me, I have never been so happy to have missed out, because I am always thinking about my faithful readers, and if I hadn't had a notepad and pen while I was talking to B at midnight, we would have missed out on probably one of the best things after "The Fielder Show"...Brent's Theory of Drunkeness. Brent decided, after I don't even want to know how many drinks, that the whole world would be a better place if everybody could just be born drunk. WHAT?! Yes, that's just what he said...If the baby popped out of the cervix already drunk, then they would be laughing instead of crying and no one in the world would ever cry, they would all have "laughidness" (his word, I swear) all the time. He claims this theory would eliminate any of the politics that kids deal with in high school over who's cool or who's a dork, and if people are playing football and you break your knee, you won't care, you're drunk! Now, I had to help him along on this idea, it was just too funny a chance to pass up, so I asked what happened when people had to drive. Brent decided that we all just learn drunk, so it's actually the normal way. And if we kill each other, it's no big deal, only the bad drunks would die. Plus, the cops won't care, because they are drunk too! This is Brent's idea of natural selection...the survival of the drunkest. But of course, Brent would always survive because he's "the best drunk ever!" (This boy gets a nice ego when he's drinking...) Drunkeness would also help people at school because they would be so buzzed, they would want to pay attention and learn. Has anyone ever met a drunk with a great attention span? Well, I won't question his theory too much, he was drunk when he created it. But God help us if B ever runs the world...Bungalow's will replace Starbuck's on every street corner and there will not be a girl in a 100 mile radius of him who hasn't given him a "2 second make out, little bit of tounge." |
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