Anyway, psycho chick picks me up and the first thing she asks is if I have any cash on me. Now of course I do, but I was told this is a date...shouldn't the boy pay? Or at least offer to pay in the name of being polite? Oh well, keeping an open mind, I can part with a few bucks...so we get to the restaurant and the boys are already eating their dinners, didn't even wait 10 extra minutes for us when they invited us to begin with! Also, there is another couple at the table, two of the boys friends who have been married for a year and a half. This perfect boy that little 18-year-old Caragh has been hooked up with? He's a 24-year-old firefighter. Anyway, we join them, order salads, and try to keep up with the conversation, but these elderly lads have been friends for ages and they have so many inside jokes that anytime I tried to talk or ask about something, one of them just said "don't worry about it." So I sat there like a good little girl, trying not to yawn, and listening to the group bash blacks and gays and wishing I had stayed asleep in the dorms like I meant to. Finally, eight years later, dinner is done, so I pay my bill and walk towards psycho's car, just ready to go home and laugh about this horrible time with my friends. But then we stand in the parking lot for 10 minutes listening to the boys tell Ethiopian jokes (How many Ethiopians can you fit in the bath tub? None, they all slide down the drain.) and psycho decides we need to go chill at their house for a bit. (It's only 8 pm at this point, still early...) Thinking maybe, maybe, it will be better without the married couple, I say we'll go along. Mistake. Big mistake.
At the house, the boys decide we have to see their "greatest hits" video. Essentially, this is ToiletPaperTogaParty.com for all Herny Clay people, to everyone else, a wanna-be Jackass movie. After about 30 minutes of them swinging into the lake on a rope and lighting Aaron's brother on fire before pushing him into the pool, some of their buddies show up, and my great date (who's sitting on the other side of the room and hasn't talked to me at all) tries to introduce us, but he doesn't remember my name!! Supposedly, he was dying to meet me because psycho told him I am Irish and that's like his dream girl. But she also told him waht I looked like, including my auburn hair, and that became my name for the past week, "Auburn Hair Chick." Anyone, do I have anything close to auburn hair? Umm, no, let's try dark brown and some honey brown...thanks. Anyway, soon those friends say bye (remembering my name) and leave and we have to go back to watching this moronic movie. Suddenly, an adorable baby girl pops onto the screen. We are all laughing at her making faces and then I ask whose baby it was. My nice date's reply? Oh, she's mine. End of story, no details, no name, no age...I'm trying to use ESP to have my cell ring, just so I can come up with some excuse and leave ASAP! No luck. So we keep watching, and the baby keeps appearing...only she's getting older and older. The kid was probably 6 when I finally said screw it. Bobby had been rude enough already, so I told psycho I had plans with my friends and needed to go back to my dorm now. This night had been painful already, and it was only 9! So when we got to the car, I had to find out what psycho aws thinking seeing me and Daddy connected in anyway and I asked her about the kid, because above all else, I am definitely not dating a guy with a 6-year-old! Psycho's answer? "Oh, I forgot about her, he hasn't seen her in like 3 years anyway, so it's no big deal." What a wonderful guy, right ladies? I really need to know that on top of everything else, he doesn't care about the child he had while a teenager.
Moral of the story: Do some careful screening before you accept a blind date...It was definitely a waste of 3 hours and $5!
