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My sister Oonagh is really a character. She onced planned to paint "Kiss me, I'm drunk" T-shirts with two girlfriends to wear on St. Patrick's Day in Savannah...thankfully they all were too lazy to do the actual work on them or it would have been a very interesting weekend...But proabably one of this girl's finer moments was when she lost her cell phone. You have to understand first that Oonagh is addicted to the cellphone, it's one of those never leave home without it, fall down the stairs to answer it, pick it over your pepper spray when carrying a small clutch purse late at night in New York situations. So when she went to a fraternity "Pimps and Whores" date night last year, she didn't actually have any place to put it (it's difficult to find a purse that goes well with fishnet and skank makeup...) but will Oonagh leave the phone some place safe until tomorrow? Of course not! She puts it into the pocket of her already drunk date's jacket, which he promptly removes when they get to the field for the party and proceeds to lose. Only since both of them are drunk (it's Athens, Georgia, this is the normal state of being people) they don't realize anything is lost until the next night. Oonagh can't find her cell phone anywhere! And oddly enough, the date has lost some old jacket...but he's not worried, it was a Goodwill buy, it probably got left at the party and was rained or urinated or God knows what on, so he wouldn't be able to save it anyway. Suddenly, lightbulb, brainwave, shocking old movie music...Oonagh sends date on a mission to find that nasty old jacket, it has her cell in it! So while he's off searching the dirty points of Athens, enter the 2 best friends, Sarara and Kristata, bringing cheer me up toys to my poor sister in withdrawl. (If her brain had to go many more hours without those radiowaves buzzing through it, I think her system would have gone into shock...) They had been to Walmart searching for a replacement cell (one of the useful ones for depression that are filled with assorted candies) and though they never found it, they found something much much better...a unicorn head on a stick which played "Somewhere over the rainbow" when you pressed it's ear. Now, this part of the story was always blurry to me based on the fact that whenever it was told, all 3 girls break into laughing fits and we generally have the overly peppy unicorn song playing in the background anyway, but for what I can gather, her name is Virginity, and she represents all horny unicorns...I'm hoping they were drunk when they came up with that. So anyway, being the kind sister that I am, I heard about this failed attempt at a replacement cell phone, and heard the news one day later that the old cell phone had been found only it would never turn back on again, I went and found Oonagh an even better new cell...a pink one that doubled as a bubble dispencer! Well Oonagh kept this fine device in her purse for a few days, even after she got her new, shiny, real cell, and when she was pulling that out by the antenna one day, raving about its cute size and features, all of her friends really watched her pull out that hot pink bubble blowing phone...I wish I was there to witness that typical Oonagh moment...
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