Laurence is a nice conservative boy. Both parents are ministers (damn Protestants, it's not supposed to be like that you know...) and he was raised in a very quiet, proper home. Things were always straight forward, always expected, so when he recieved a plain brown envelope in his mailbox the other day, no one could figure out what it was. Turns out, Student Services was trying to look out for the welfare of Laurence and the ladies of Vandy...this envelope was stuffed with condems! Well, after the initial shock of poor Laurence handling all these sinful rubbers, Lyns decides to find out if this is just a special service by the University to all males and they start calling friends. But when you call up guy friends to ask if they have recieved a large envelope of condems lately, you tend to sound rather silly...especially if none of them have. Laurence really was being singled out by the school with these condems...they are trying hard to stop him from procreating. So now I'm very interested in meeting him to find out just what it is that we don't want copies of. Bad hair? Big teeth? Maybe it's because he's Methodist...
After reading about my new buddy the cop (on subprofile, see the links), Lyns decided that the Vandy cops are even more useless than ours. Well, after the obligatory debate over weather saving Middle Earth is really useless (survey says...yes) she told me a story of cops patroling a frat party. Anyone who has been to a large fraternity party knows that there are generaly one or two rent-a-cops hanging around. They don't actually do anything because the brothers pretend to check ids and they are being paid privately to work anyway, but they are supposed to at least act official right? Not at Vanderbilt. This particular party was themed...principals and school girls....aka, drunk boys in suits and Britney Spears wanna-bes. So one Catholic school girl in particular caught the attention of all of the party, including our friend Mr. Rent-a-cop. During a particually upbeat 80s song, this chick (who, to her defence, was plastered) decided to dance on the rail of the patio...in a pratically non-existant plaid skirt and a white piece of fabric already popping off over her red satin brassier. Well, what happened next can't really be explained unless we knew how exactly she was paying her way through school, and frankly, I don't even want to get into that, but this presumably freshman dancer starts removing her clothing while leaning over the pole into the face of Rent-a-Cop. What would the responsible public officer do at this moment? Frankly, probably exactly what our friend did, stand there and drool...Remember, he's in the role of public office...they aren't known too highly for restraint and integrity. Does former president Bill Clinton pop into anyone else's mind here?
Lynsey's roommate is Betsy...and if that girl weren't so damn funny, I think she might be the next "Roommate from Hell" based on some things she's said. Here are a few of her quotes...kinda makes a person scared to live with her right? Sleep with one eye open Lyns...
"Wouldn't it be cool if you were a lesbian and your roommate was a lesbian and you fell in love? Then you could push your beds together and it would be like you were married!"
"Lynsey, I want a divorce!" (No, you nasty minded people, this does not connect to the last comment...)
"You know, it's so weird we lock our door at night...I mean, I could murder you in the middle of the night and no one would be able to stop me!"
"What happens if your roommate dies? Do you get to keep the double room all to yourself? That would be soooo cool!" (Do you worry about this even more when you connect it to the last comment? How much stuff does Betsy have girl? Is she lacking storage space? Maybe she just wants to get rid of all those damn Post-its...)
