They just keep going and going and going...
How I feel

I can't tell you how I feel.
There's no sadness,
no pain,
just emptiness.
Guilt is there;
A sister to boredom.

A picture stirs my memory of you.
I thought it was over
but one glance and I remembered.
Remembered everything I had loved
and all I hated.

I miseed you so and still do.
I can't understand that
for I hate you so
but I can't let you go.

You were everything I wanted
and nothing I ever needed.
The worst in the world
and not so bad at all.

It makes no sense.
My mind is full of madness.
For I can not tell you how I feel.
I Miss You

I miss you.
I miss your body and soul
but I'm afraid.
I can't be with you.
Your the eptiamy of everything I hate
and yet I love you so.

I've often said it
but never really knew it until now.
I masked my love with hate for you
but died inside everytime I saw you.

I doesn't make sense
for I know you are wrong --
all wrong for me --
but yet I cannot deny how I feel.

Maybe someday our spark will be rekindled
and maybe -- eventually -- it will die.
But until then,
I miss you.
Without You

The very thought of being here without you,
scares me.
I can not do this without you.

You allow me to be me.
You save me from myself
and the thought of you
never here,
never agian making me laugh or cry
is a feeling uncomprehensible.

My mind clouds with worry for you.
I can't do this without you.
I know I sound selfish
but I hope you need me to.
I wonder sometimes
because you push me away and I know it is just you
and your life.
Your afraid to be you
while all I want to do is help.

But I know that is not the point.
Nothing matters if you are not here.
You are my beacon on a cloudy night.
You are everything I need in a Friend.
You make me -- me.

I would die if you were not here.
I can't do this without you.
Disclaimer: Once agian...I am not suicidal. This poem is about failed friendships.

Pointless

This life is pointless.
All a lie.
No one cares with all heart and soul,
it is all a front.

They claim to care
but talk about you behind your back.
What kind of life is this?

All lies with no truth.
How can anyone live like this?
Those I thought I knew
turned out as strangers.

Why to me does this happen?
I never asked for it,
Yet it never fails.
Personality conflicts, loss of truth --
make it all pointless.

Pointless to try, pointless to care.
It all turns out the same.
No matter how hard you try,
you can't win.
This life is pointless.
My Trust Wans

My trust wans.
I once thought you infallable
but now see the truth.

You are not perfect.
You are human life me.
Only a fact...I am flawed,
so why shouldn't you be.

I trusted you.
I believed in you.
You lied to me
directly to my face.

How could I have been so gullible?
How could I have believed in you
so innocently?
You've done this before
and you will agian.

My trust is dying
slowly -- like me.
One more time,
I tell myself
and it is over.

One more relationship over.
I can't take it anymore.
Not friends if my
Trust wans.
I Will Wait

I can see you
standing in the early morning light.
You are beautiful
except...
your not really here.
Your in my mind.
Only in my mind.

Your the perfect man
for me
and you don't exsist.

I sit and wonder why,
your not here
and where you are.

I know you will appear
when I least expect it
but until then,
I will wait patiently.

And see you forever
in the early morning light.
Wanna go home?
Wanna go back?
Want More????
All poems Copyright 2000
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