In the Nighttime Air

In the nighttime air,
I breathe wondering what I'll see.
Will I see the truth
or be blinded by love?
Will the madness come
and rake my body
or will the pain finally subside?
Why -- I've asked a thousand times
yet no answer comes back from the night sky.
Only the moon and the stars twinkle in delight.
Oh, why can't I be one of them,
no worries, no fears, no heartaches or pain.
When will it end?
Then I scream into the night
only to hear the echo of my voice
except no sounds do I hear.
Only the beating of my heart
beating in pain...beating for you.
My Poems.
Afraid

Here I stand.
Afraid.
Afraid of what I have to do.
Afraid of doing it
and yet afraid of not.
Scared my life will take some horrible turn
and wondering could it be better.
Nighttime falls and still I think.
I sit and think and wonder.
Why do I sit scared in the darkness,
afriad to reach out to the light.
I'll never know.
This is a true test --
I realize all to late
and somehow  I know  this will decide me.
Decide me as a person,
as a life,
as a friend,
as me.
The defining moment and...
I'm running fast....away.
Yet something stops me.
I know  it only by a feeling,
that feeling of longing,
of need.
Why me, why now?
As the world turns black,
my heart stops beating
and suddenly I am free.
Free from pain and from worry
and suddenly I awake in your arms.
Tonite

Tonite I dared to believe
believe in all I had ever wanted.
How strange my answers come from you.
The least expected source
and the most important.
Fear now resides in me.
Fear of loss and rejection.
Fear of prominant anger.
Somehow it all fades.
No anger, no fer
just you and truth.
i don't know how or why
but I know you.
I know the truth you speak.
I know you.
I rejoice and yet the fear returns .
Will this end as so many before?
NO...I won't let it.
The importance strikes me even now
and I know...this truth is more
more than I deserve
but all I ever need.
Your faith is my strength tonite.
I'll Be Safe

When the rain comes pouring down,
I'll be safe.
When the fire chases,
I'll be safe.
safe from fear and pain.
Enveloped in Life;
no end,
no beginning,
only now,
only time,
one belonging to one,
none belonging to none.
Realizing yourself
or following the norm?
Everyone is me.
I am you.
You are she.
She is him.
He is me.
We are all one
and therefore cannot be harmed.
I Am Happy

I sit here bathing in the sunlight
hoping this moment will last
yet knowing it cannot.
Too many feelings fight for possesion
but for now,
for here,
for once,
Happiness -- perfect contentness.

I feel the best I have
for the longest.
Everything shines with love.
Opened by your heart.
You had the key
and like no others
you used it.
For that I will be forver happy
and forever with you.
Nothing will break that trust,
not now, not even.
I am Happy.
Shallow Mind

Love is a shallow mind
in a sharp grave.
Love is neverending peace
and fear.
Love is you and me.
Love is nothing.
Love is everything.
Why you?
The answers never known.
Just feeling show through.
No one can justify it or deny it.
No matter what kind or with whom.
It's all real and pure.
Neverending happiness
and pain is my love.
For you, for me, for us.
The Unknown

The days are filled with endless wonder
and the nights with constent fears.
The hours and minutes I talk to you
refresh and replenish my soul.
You annoy and delight me
with your provacative and docile language
neither do I understand without myself.
Yet dreams of you I have
filling me with longing and joy.
You are my worst and best,
my longing and joy.
Why me and why you?
God will only know.
More......
Wanna go home?
Me
I wait with neverending sighs
I can't understand why
You say you love me
yet wish for me to be someone i'm not
How can these be one and the same
Happiness like when your near is rare
the thought of you makes me happy
but sometimes i wonder if you really love me
I've heard the words of love spoken
in many tongues, in many voices
never have i wanted to hear them truthful as i do now
why can't i be who i am
and be loved for that
why must you push
yet in my love I let you
I let you try to control me
for fear of losing you
Life doesn't make sense
I wish I could just be me
Why won't you let me be me.
Go Back One....
All poems Copyright 2000
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