Chapter 2

I sat perfectly still, holding the phone very near to my ear. Surely I couldn�t have heard that correctly�

�I�m sorry Hyde you�ll have to repeat that. I... think there is a bad connection between our phones,� I pleaded, shutting my eyes tight as my ears strained to listen.

I heard Hyde sigh from the other end. �I can�t do the movie. I�m sorry,�

I didn�t know how to react. I didn�t know what to say. I wasn�t even sure if I was still breathing, only aware that I had been blinking rapidly. There was no way Hyde could turn me down, I absolutely had to have him by my side! How could anything have gone wrong? The script reading went fantastic last night and even Hyde was having an input in it. I thought we were getting along so well. Not to mention the intense chemistry we had shared�.

I swallowed the lump hanging in my throat. As much as I enjoyed every minute we just shared, I now wanted no more than to kick myself for what had started happening between us. Could it be that my bold actions scared Hyde off? But yet�

�Gackt? Are you still there?� Hyde�s voice echoed through the phone. I heard a tapping noise through the receiver. �Maybe the connection is a little fuzzy�� Hyde was musing to himself loudly enough that I could still hear him.

�Hyde,� I started. I wasn�t even sure what to say next but I didn�t want the conversation to die. There had to be some way I could get Hyde wanting to do the movie again. �I�m sorry, what is it that led you to this decision?� God, that sentence sounded so business-like and I wasn�t sure that was the approach he wanted to take in this situation. But I had to keep my cool.

�I just... I don�t think I�m cut out for it, you know? I don�t have enough confidence in myself for this. Besides my management says I should release another album early next year and there�s so much work to do for that and-�

I sighed as Hyde continued to give me excuses. This was surely a damper on my mood. But just as Hyde was finishing off his list, I recalled that I still had his shirt at my house.

�I still have your shirt.� Hey, bluntness works.

�Yeah, about that. Um, listen will you be around tomorrow night? I have to head in that direction for a function and can drop by on my way home..." Hyde started.

I�m sure if there had been a mirror in front of me I would have seen a very cheshire-cat-like grin forming from the end of my lips. The idea of getting Hyde into my home again would give me the chance to talk things out with him face-to-face and convince him to join the project this time. I�d just need a method of keeping him there longer than it took to hand over the shirt�

�Let me check my calendar,� I said, although I honestly had no intentions of looking. Are you kidding? I would drop anything I had just to hang around this house and wait for Hyde. Hyde had to be Kei in this movie and I would do anything to see to it. I pretended to be flipping the pages of my date book, when in all reality right now I couldn�t even picture where I last left that thing. �Looks like I will be available tomorrow night. What time would you be stopping in?�

�Great, great� Um well it doesn�t start until 8 and I have to show face for a decent amount of time so� maybe close to 10? If that isn�t too late, that is,� Hyde replied.

�At 10? See you then,� I said, and promptly ended the conversation.

After all, there were preparations to make.

I adjusted my jacket as I walked into the large hall. How I hated having to make appearances like this but my ridiculous management insisted on it, given how important it was for my budding solo career. While Roentgen had sold incredibly well, there were still many followers of L�ArcenCiel that my agents had wanted me to capture. So I was making quite the many rounds performing a few songs and making appearances to keep my name in the news and entice even more people to purchase the album.

To be honest, I had no plans on hanging around - just staying just long enough to show face and get a few drinks of course. It was an open bar and I smartly decided to arrive by taxi so I figured I should indulge. It may sound sad, but right off the bat I was already downing a shot of whiskey to calm my nerves.

Being at the function itself didn�t really have me on edge. Afterall, I was used to smiling for people regardless of how shitty I felt, and truthfully loved discussing my projects, especially this solo career, though I�m sure most of the people who asked me had no clue what the music really means anyway. None of this was anything new to me. The part that had me nervous was that I knew in a short while I would be going to Gackt�s house...

It�s embarrassing to admit, but just thinking about that was enough to make me adjust myself in my pants, trying to hide the action as I leaned along the bar and took in the crowd. Instantly the image of Gackt standing behind me and removing my shirt was fresh in the front of mind (again) and it was as though I could feel the heat of Gackt�s breath on the back of my neck. Actually, my neck was feeling very warm as if someone was right there--

�HYYYDE!� Tetsu suddenly shouted, tossing his lanky arms around my neck. �Oh my gosh I hadn�t expected to see you here! How are things? It�s been a while since we spoke. Your album is doing GREAT I hear, I see you on my TV all the time � that one PV, I could hardly get over how blond your hair looked-�

�Tetsu!� I had to shout to stop my wonderful bassist friend from rambling. �It�s nice to see you too. Hey I read you were going to be doing an album with Morrie? Is it true?�

Tetsu�s eyes bulged out of his head. �YES. We�re not sure what to name the band yet, probably something with �Creature� in it...�

�Wait, wait - BAND? You�re starting a new group?� Goodness, he moves fast. I quickly ordered another shot.

�Nah, just a temporary thing. It�ll be a one-shot album � a dream of mine come true to work with Morrie. I think it�s important to collaborate with other big artists while we�re away from Laruku, don�t you think Hyde?�

I let out a quiet forced cough at the mention and downed my second whiskey shot. Yea, important to collaborate... Not sure if the collaboration I'm getting into is what you mean by that but�

�So what have you been up to?� Tetsu asked, interrupting my thoughts and leaning on the bar while ordering a shirley temple. �I tried calling you last night, you know. Sorry I didn�t bother to leave a message.�

I blinked. My phone rang last night? Last night I was wandering the dark halls of Gackt�s home, stepping on rose petals, getting wasted on brandy while listening to Gackt�s soothing voice talk about Sho and Kei and vampires and guns. And then I was lying in his bed and telling him secrets about Sakura� Sakura...

�Have you seen Ken lately?� I started, one thought leading to another and eager to change the topic. �I heard he�s working with Sakura again on some new band with a lewd title,� I emphasized.

Tetsu took a sip from his drink and glanced side-long at me at the mention of Sakura's name. I know they don�t quite get along the way they used to, but this childlike drama between them has got to stop at some point. �Yes. Sons Of All Pussy�s, I think they call themselves. It�s wild music. They have a German bassist. Not sure how that came about... Ken�s let himself go lately too; I�ve never seen his hair so long! Hey I was wondering if we should try a new look when we come back to Laruku � something with our hair. That always makes a statement.�

Somehow Tetsu always managed to drag the topic into something else in a matter of seconds.

�But then you�ve already done that, what with going platinum here. How do you enjoy it? I liked being blond but it didn�t seem to suit me-�

�Tetsu I was blond before, remember?� I interrupted, having enough of the whiskey and ordering a beer this time.

�Yea but you looked different then.� Tetsu stepped back and looked closely at me. �You look different now.� His face seemed laced with concern.

I felt somewhat offended by that remark. �Of course I do, I�m older! What do you expect five years later?� The bartender handed me the beer so I took a generous sip of it. Wanting to get off the topic, I began discussing the upcoming year and the plans my agents had in mind so soon.

�Wait, if you�re not doing another album until next Spring, what are you going to do all summer and fall this year? Make some kids?� Tetsu said, pushing at me enough to make me topple a little off my feet. All he got back from me was a death glare that lasted a good minute. Tetsu continued to sip on his drink, staring at me with wide eyes as if the look I gave him wasn�t enough of an answer.

�No! I don�t want kids, you know that! I hardly trust myself with my own life, let alone someone else�s.� I eventually yelled at him.

�Then whatever do you have planned for the rest of this year, hmm? Surely you�re leaving open a lot of space.� Tetsu grinned from behind his glass. I don�t like all this poking and prodding, no matter how much I trust someone like Tetsu. But the truth was, I had left the time open in case I had been interested in actually doing the film with Gackt. But God, I could never tell Tetsu that because I would never hear the end of it...

�Look we don�t all have to be working constantly. Take some time off once in a while. Get some rest. It�ll help reduce those bags under your eyes,� I said with a sly smirk as Tetsu�s jaw dropped open at the mention of his most hated feature.

�Oh my gosh, they look awful tonight, don�t they just?� Tetsu said, rubbing a hand over the one. I rolled my eyes. Why do I always bring that up, I know it brings out his narcissistic side�

�You look fine Tetchan.� I quickly reassured and gave Tetsu a pat on his arm. �Hey, I have to make the rounds and see some faces if I plan on getting out of here anytime soon,�

�Why in such a rush to leave? They�re having a band come to play later and I heard there�s a special announcement from the Fuji group too. Besides I�m here and we could hang out, like old times,� He winked and that produced a small chuckle from me.

�I�d love to really, but I have somewhere else to be at 10,� I replied, feeling a little guilty for leaving my trusted band mate just to go somewhere I wasn�t feeling comfortable about. I was surprised I didn�t feel more awful about it. Here I have the opportunity to hang out with leader-sama, whom I haven�t seen in a while, talk about music and drink until I�m content and yet I was willingly deciding to leave him just to go back to Gackt�s house�

What�s wrong with this picture?! What�s wrong is that I�ve made up my mind to ditch Tetsu in favor of Gackt. Oh the world is going to turn upside down right at this moment. Or maybe just my stomach for now. When that realization hit me, I suddenly felt very uncomfortable in this environment.

�Oh, that�s too bad. Man they really are working you hard huh? See, starting your own label isn�t easier, I told you!� Tetsu gave a small laugh and then quickly pulled me in for a hug. We exchanged goodbyes, I set down my empty glass, and then made my way around the room quickly, stopping to chat briefly with all the famous faces so I could get out of this place.

It�s just a plain white button-down top. And yet that Dior label staring me in the face was enough to make me realize that Hyde definitely would want it back. That small tag eased my doubts. Hyde would show up at my house to get his shirt, I was sure of it.

I stood in the living room, slowly sipping my wine as I stared down at his neatly folded shirt sitting on my coffee table.

The trick now was getting Hyde to stay here longer than it would take for me to hand this shirt to him and wish him on his way. I had to make the opportunity arise for some serious discussion about the movie project.

Again my mind was back at the [MOON project � seeing Hyde in all the vampiric glory I could imagine. It could not be complete without him. But something shook me of my reverie � something furry and small bustling quickly past my legs that caused my body to jump and some of my wine to fall from the glass, landing right on my pale coloured top.

�Belle Constantine Chappy! Go lay down!� I yelled, inwardly cursing myself for not leaving the dog with the dog-sitter an extra day. I saw Belle scatter and run up the stairs, hopefully making herself hidden for the rest of the night. It was then I realized I had no idea what Hyde thought of pets...

But before I could allow myself to entertain the thought, I was brought back to the glaring purple stain on my light blue top. No doubt I would have to change now and there�s no way it would be ready to wear again by time Hyde would arrive.

The thought angered me, since I had wasted so much time in my closet deciding on the proper attire for tonight. I sat down my glass and with a sigh removed the shirt, turning it in my hands to look more closely at the marking.

Then, something struck me.

Did you ever see those cartoons where the character suddenly has a lightbulb floating over his head? A chance of brilliance, a eureka moment�

Yes, suddenly I had that lightbulb. Because I had an idea on how to get Hyde to stay just long enough.

I called a taxi from my cellphone, making my way out of the elevator and anxious to leave the stuffy crowd I had spent the last hour and a half pretending to mingle with. I went outside, the weather for this time warmer than usual, or maybe just the whiskey reacting in my body, and unbuttoned part of my overshirt. I probably reeked of alcohol.

Finally the cab arrived so I shuffled in and made myself comfortable in the back seat until I found the cabby�s eyes glaring at me.

�Hold on, I don�t know the address by heart!� I said, just as my cellphone's scrolling landed on the heart-covered name of Gackt. God, I forgot he did that. I rolled my eyes and opened the contact, giving the driver the location.

As I tried to relax in the back of the car, I attempted to fix up my appearance a bit and pulled out a cigarette to calm the nerves. There should be no reason I�m nervous going to Gackt�s house. I�ve been there before so I know what to expect and all I have to do is pick up my shirt and leave. It�ll be a cinch.

The cabby pulled up to a home a block away from Gackt�s address, just as I had given him just for the sake of keeping Gackt�s privacy. I paid the driver and exited the car, using this time to smoke another cigarette and get some fresh air as I walked the short remaining block to Gackt�s house.

Compared to the homes around it, Gackt�s place was so dark, making it even easier to point out amongst the other residences. When I finished my cigarette, I dropped it on the road, twisting it firmly with my boot and taking a deep breath as I walked up the driveway to Gackt�s door. I knocked once. Then twice. Then a third time...

�Jesus, last time the door opened on its own and now it�s as if he�s not even here,� I spoke to myself. So I raised my fist to knock again but suddenly Gackt was there at the doorway, giving me a frantic look.

�Gackt! You did remember I was coming, right? I mean, last night I said I would drop by afte-�

�Hyde, I�m so sorry!� Gackt started, pulling me through the doorway and closing the door behind us. He bowed down low.

What the hell� �For what?� I asked in confusion.

�Your shirt. I-� This is so foolish of me, I feel like an idiot!� Gackt answered as he latched his hands onto my arm and lead me back to that familiar living room. I followed quietly behind him, wondering what was happening to have him so upset.

When we reached the room, Gackt bowed to me again.

�Gacchan, cut it out, will you!� I said, grabbing the sides of his arms and forcing him to stand up straight. �What�s wrong?� I demanded, some concern in my voice.

�I ruined your shirt, Hyde.� Gackt said quietly.

�That�s it? You�re worried about my shirt?� I clicked my tongue and sat down on the leather couch behind us. �Gackt, don�t do that to me! I thought there was something serious the matter with you,�

I could really use another cigarette now.

�I�m so foolish, I hope you can forgive me." he started. "You see, I was having a glass of wine when my dog ran past me, barking at something or who knows, but she stirred me and I lost my footing and well� I spilled the wine and it landed on your perfectly white shirt.� Gackt sighed and sat down next to me on the couch, putting his head into his hands.

I couldn�t help but smile and laugh a little bit. �Of course I forgive you. It�s just a shirt. I have plenty more.�

�I�m having it taken to the dry cleaner,� Gackt blurted out.

�What?�

�Yes, I called my servant and told him to rush over here to have it dry cleaned and pressed.�

�You�re not serious, are you?� I remarked, standing up from the couch. �Gackt, it�s just a shirt! There�s no need for you to go through all that-�

�I�m sorry, Hyde!� Gackt said now standing up as well. �I felt so guilty about it and� damn the cleaner's, I told him be here an hour ago � this could have been taken care of without you even-�

�No, no!� I argued, putting my hands in the way of Gackt and his cellphone just as he was picking it up, I assume to dial his cleaners. �No, look it�s really not that important to me.� I couldn�t seem to stress this fact enough.

Gackt dropped his phone and stared at me, disappointment on his face. It was enough to make me actually feel bad for him. He was genuinely upset at spilling wine on my shirt. It�s just a shirt! I have more! I have enough money to buy another and not even care about this one! I could have yelled all these things aloud right now but rather I offered Gackt a smile, my hand resting on his arm.

�Look, I appreciate you going through all of this, really. You�re too kind, Gacchan.�

Gackt smiled back at me tenderly. He let out a quiet sigh, almost like a dreamy sigh if I dare call it that. He looked a little overcome and I would be lying if I didn�t say it started to make me nervous. But before I even had the chance to withdraw, he was suddenly pulling me into a close and very tight embrace. I bet my eyes bulged just like in anime. Gackt�s hug was rigid and not at all comforting. It was� awkward.

When it broke, Gackt got up and disappeared and I nearly pulled out that cigarette from my back pocket. I still didn�t know if Gackt ever smoked in his house or not and didn�t want to be disrespectful in case he didn�t. Not that I would be able to tell anyway with how strongly this room smelled of roses and that damned Egoiste cologne that I was now able to smell on my own shirt from our hug.

Shortly after, Gackt came back with my shirt in his hand, covered with a stain of red wine blotted on the upper left. I stood up and examined the shirt as he held it. What did he do, dump the whole glass? But I wanted to make light of the situation.

�It�s really not that bad," I lied. "I�m sure I could have it bleached out in no time,� I explained, tugging at the shirt to take it from him.

But Gackt wouldn�t let me have it. I tugged again and this time he actually pulled it away from me.

�Gacchan, give me my shirt!� I said, adding a playful smile as I reached out for it. Gackt grinned back and pulled away once more.

�I told you, I�m having it taken care of. It�s my fault it was stained and it�s my duty to clean it up,� Gackt responded, and as I reached out again for it, he lifted the shirt high into the air. Ohhh that�s just cruel.

�Don�t be ridiculous,� I called out, this time racing after him as he ran behind the couch with my shirt, laughing all the way. �It�s not a big deal!� I swatted and Gackt swiftly moved backwards so I just missed it.

�But I want to! I�ll feel--� Gackt jumped over the coffee table as I lunged at him. ��much better if I can do this for you, ne?�

�NE?� I yelled in mockery. Ok, I admit it; This was fun. �Gacchan!!�

Again I was lunging out and this time, the shirt was finally in my grip. But almost in slow-motion I noticed Gackt�s eyes go wide and I saw him begin to fall backward. Apparently the futon, which was still left open from the previous night, was right behind him and in a miscalculation of steps, Gackt had tumbled into it� just as I was lunging at him.

So there was Gackt, lying on the futon and there I was, now lying right on top of him with nothing but my wine-stained and now-very-wrinkled shirt between us.

Oh, it�s so clich�, isn�t it?

I couldn�t tell you how long we laid like that catching our breath because the moment seemed to freeze in time.

It all happened so fast and suddenly my back was on the futon and Hyde was on top of me.

It was almost as if I arranged for it to happen that way but I only wish I had been clever enough to think of such a thing. If I had known this was all it would take to get Hyde lying on top of me�

And he was still grinning as he did, the only sound being our labored breathing from the chase. I wanted to toss the shirt out from between us, the only thing breaking the direct contact of our clothed abdomens. I wanted to cup Hyde�s slightly flushed cheeks and pull him into a kiss but my hands were wrapped beneath that damned shirt of his and just as I was imagining that, I was suddenly aware that I couldn�t afford to move without making Hyde aware just how much I was enjoying this moment.

Time seemed to last for ages but only minutes later I was wishing it had been longer when Hyde finally slid off of me, laughing nervously as he combed his blond hair back with his hand. I slowly sat up, trying to smooth out the wrinkles we just made on the shirt.

�Gomen,� Hyde said quietly and I noticed he was glancing at me from the corner of his eyes.

�It�s my fault, I shouldn�t have teased you and I obviously didn�t mean to trip,� I replied, still smoothing out the garment.

�That wasn�t very graceful of you,� Hyde said with a laugh. He was looking at me now and I had to look away, focusing my attention to the shirt.

�I�ve been tripping a lot lately, I better watch myself at my next live,� I retorted, turning the garment over to smooth it some more. Then Hyde�s hand was on mine�

�Gacchan, stop. I don�t care about the wrinkles, ok?� Hyde said with his eyebrows raised. I blushed slightly and handed the garment to him. He laid it behind us on the futon. �Um, are you ok?� he suddenly asked.

Oh no, what does he see? What did he sense? �What do you mean?� I asked.

�I mean I feel like you�re not yourself. You seem so different from� the other night,� Hyde spoke bluntly, staring me in the eyes. I took to finding interest in twisting around the ring on my pointer finger. This was the conversation I wanted to have anyway.

�I suppose you�re right.� I started and took a deep breath. �Hyde, I won�t lie to you. I�m� well I�m disappointed that you turned down my movie offer.�

�Gacchan� look-�

�No, let me finish. I really thought things went well the other night with the script read. I loved that you were giving me input and I thought we were building a real connection.� I finally looked up at Hyde. �I truly meant all those things I said about you being perfect for the film. I have complete confidence in your abilities and I cannot see this production going on without you.�

It was as close to saying I Need You as I was going to get right now.

Hyde�s eyes seemed to soften and he looked down at the floor. �I� don�t know what to say,� he started quietly. �I mean, I appreciate you considering me-�

�No, not just considering you Hyde,� Wanting you. Needing you. It has to be you. God, how I had wanted to say that to him. Instead, �You are the one. You are Kei the vampire, don�t you see it?� I grabbed the sides of his arms, forcing him to look at me. He finally looked into my eyes so I continued to tell him just why I felt that he was perfectly cast, being cautious not to say anything too strongly to scare him away.

Just as we were locked in each other�s gaze, my door bell rung. We turned to look towards it and I let go of Hyde, grabbing his shirt as I stood up.

�Gacchan, no,� I heard and felt Hyde�s hands around my wrist. I looked down at him and he was shaking his head. �Please don�t bother with the shirt. I can take care of it,�

�Hyde, they�re here and ready to take it for cleaning-� I argued.

�No, come on now,� he said, standing up and grabbing the other end of his shirt as if we were going to start a tug-of-war game with it�

Remember that lightbulb over my head from earlier? It appeared again.

�Fine, I won�t have the shirt cleaned� IF you agree to sign on to my movie project,� I grinned at him. Hyde�s eyes went wide.

--THE HELL?

Here I am, clinging onto my shirt � Yes, MY SHIRT � as Gackt threatens to take it away.

I don�t want him to clean my shirt, I hate that he�s taking responsibility over this and treating me this way and NOW of all things he�s giving me an ultimatum� �DO THE MOVIE OR I TAKE YOUR SHIRT�. Who does that?! It�s my shirt dammit!

I should just let him take it. He�s only having it cleaned; it�s not like they�re going to shred it to pieces and I�ll never see it again. But my mind starts to work in circles � I�ll either have to stay for a while as it's being cleaned and endure more clich� situations, like falling on Gackt and lying there as we pretend it�s not awkward or uncomfortable for a few minutes� What was that anyway? Or if I don�t stay for the shirt, then we�ll have to meet �again� to exchange it and I�ll have to endure this movie talk even more.

I had a feeling Gackt was not going to give up on me being in this film, either.

Maybe I could just say yes � and then just drop out of the project later. After all, my management only knows that I was going to talk to Gackt about something. They don�t know the details yet and perhaps they will disapprove. Hell I will make them disapprove.

Right now I just want my shirt and I want these awkward moments to stop. I can say yes and opt out later on. Who knows if this movie will even get off the ground anyway�

�Fine,� I reply, letting go and leaving him with shirt in his hands. Gackt�s face dropped as it appeared that I was giving up possession. But then I turned my hands, palms up. �Give me my shirt then.� According to Gackt�s challenge, getting my shirt back meant I had just accepted to work in his film.

Gackt�s eyes went wide and the biggest (most beautiful) smile I�ve ever seen filled his face. �Oh Hyde! Honto? Honto?� He yelled and I nodded, unable to stop my own smile from seeing his thrilled reaction.

Again he was pulling me into a hug but this one was warm and enveloping. He was squeezing me tightly as if he wasn�t going to let go�ever. I could almost swear he also kissed my hair but I couldn�t quite tell by how much he was moving and swinging us around during the hug. Clearly he was ecstatic.

Gackt let go and tossed the shirt at me, rushing to his door to, I suppose, tell the cleaner�s that they were no longer needed. I looked at my shirt and the stain as Gackt came back wearing a huge grin.

�Your shirt is still a mess,� he said and I waved my hand in disregard.

"Ah, I could use a color like this in my wardrobe,� I said with a laugh and pulled out my cell phone to call for a taxi but Gackt interrupted me.

�You came by taxi?� he asked. How did he know? I slowly nodded. �Nonsense, let me drive you home,�

�Gacchan, no. I can�t ask for you to do any more for me. I don�t mind taking a cab, it�s okay.� But Gackt had once again pulled my cell phone out of my hands and flipped it shut.

�I�m driving you home,� Gackt said, putting the closed phone into my hand and then disappeared momentarily to get his keys. �C�mon, let�s go.�

Finally when I thought I had triumphed over a moment that made me feel helpless, Gackt somehow knew how to put me right back into that spot. I sighed, my only form of rebellion at this point, and followed Gackt out to his car. But as we entered the garage, all I could do was gape.

"What is this?!" I started, trying not to laugh. Gackt looked at me with a deadpan expression.

"A car..." he responded, spinning the keys around his finger.

�Gacchan, you�re an alien!� It was the strangest looking car I had ever seen. You'd swear it was a spaceship. Despite the fact I couldn't stop staring, it somehow seemed to fit right in with the rest of Gackt's quirky nature. Gackt turned around and gave me a look as I continued to ogle the car, taking a moment to walk around it and see all its sides. Gackt just grinned and unlocked the doors.

�Get in, baka.� he said with a smile and I dropped myself into the passenger seat. Gackt opened the garage door and revved up the engine just as the car was starting. Instantly the speakers came on, quite loudly, and what did I hear but none other than my own voice singing back at me from the CD player. I narrowed my eyes and turned to face Gackt who gave me a sheepish grin and turned the volume down.

�No, leave it turned up. I like the sound of my own voice,� I teased.

�Now there�s certainly no denying how much of a fan I am, ne?� Gackt said in reply. I had to laugh at that and started to quietly sing along to the song playing, probably to the delight of Gackt�s ears. �Is that� weird to you?� Gackt continued.

�What, hearing my own songs play? C�mon, you know what that�s like Gackt,� I answered..

�No, no. I mean, my admitting to being a big fan.� Gackt continued as he drove out of the area and head onto the highway. I had to stop and think about it for a moment.

�It�s a compliment,� I answered honestly. �And I have to say-� God, this could be dangerous territory but as long as I�m being honest� �Well I enjoy some of your music too.�

Hyde enjoys my music? I could shout to the heavens and probably write an entirely new song just about that right now. The night was going so well; he laid on me, he agreed to do my movie, and now he was singing in my car and telling me he likes my music.

�Really?� I asked, looking over at Hyde who only nodded slightly in reply and began singing along to his song again. �Well I�m flattered,� I responded.

�But some of your slower stuff is way too mushy.� Hyde teased. �Don�t you ever get tired singing about unrequited love?�

�My lyrics are always from the heart, Hyde. I sing about what inspires me,�

�And unrequited love is inspiring?�

�Not in the way you�re thinking,� I answered, going around a curve a little too quickly that caused Hyde to lean toward me until we finished going around the bend. �I just write whatever I feel.�

�So who is it then?� Hyde pushed for answers. �Who is this person that you fear won�t ever return your feelings, hm?� he said it dramatically for effect.

Right now it�s you, I thought to myself, somewhat eager to change the topic.

�It�s not like you�ve never sung about love,� I retorted, turning up the next L�Arc-en-Ciel song to help prove the point. �And some of those earlier songs of yours�� I trailed off, glancing sidelong at my passenger.

��what do you mean by that?� Hyde asked, staring intently at me.

�I think I can sum it up in three words; good morning Hide,� I answered, grinning and anxious for the response it would merit from him. I knew bringing up a conversation about the lyrics to that song might be pushing it but the conversation was getting intriguing and it was something I really wanted to know, once and for all.

Hyde grew silent. He turned his head, opting to look out the window for a bit. It occurred to me that I had struck a nerve with Hyde, indicated by the sudden silence we were sharing. So I figured I had three options at this point; change the topic and move on, sit in silence and enjoy the music, or press forward and find out the truth.

�Hyde, you can tell me,� I started quietly. �I mean, if you ever need a friend to talk to about things, I hope I can be that friend for you.� But when I glanced over I saw the back of Hyde�s head. The road was getting windy so I turned my attention back to it, realizing that we had unwillingly chose option two; to continue the rest of the trip in silence.

�We needed another song to fill the album,� Hyde suddenly spoke, his voice quiet. I quickly looked over at him, still seeing the back of his bleached hairs and turned the volume down to hear him better. �We had a deadline to reach and time was running out. Sakura had� he wrote a poem for me and suggested to Tetchan that we use it. Tetsu was reluctant because it was in all in English and said our fans wouldn�t understand it. Tetsu didn�t even understand it. So Sakura told him that was exactly the reason we should throw it in there, kind of like a mystery. And people like mysteries, it keeps their interest. But then you know all about that, ne?�

His head turned to look at me and I could see him from the corner of my eyes before he stared forward on the road. His expression was blank. �We never performed it live,� Hyde continued. �And that�s what made it even more special I think. The song was like our secret message to each other. My voice, Sakura�s words. Even if our fans were ever able to discover the translation, we figured they�d never understand what the lyrics meant anyway��

My English itself is limited but I remember spending some time to pour over the lyrics and try to make sense of it. I even had my staff help me translate parts of it, never quite telling them it was a L�Arc song, though I think some of them knew. We all came up with the same words though and I still never knew what it was saying. I wanted Hyde to tell me what it meant but the more I thought about that, the more I realized it was probably something that couldn�t be explained or something he would never share with me anyway.

�I don�t actually know your address so you�re going to have to direct me from here,� I said to change the topic.

�It�s real simple, just stay on this road a few miles longer. I�ll tell you when to turn,� Hyde interjected. �Anyway� I spilled enough already so now you have to tell me who your unrequited songs are always about.�

I smiled at his eagerness to get back into our previous discussion. �No one in particular,� I replied. �It�s usually just general. It could be a female, a male, a friend� You see, I have yet to have met my equal in companionship.�

�I thought you said You-chan was your soulmate?� Hyde responded. My eyebrows probably reached my hairline at that point. So Hyde had been paying more attention to my career than I thought�

�He is, but that�s different. I believe destiny and fate are leading me in a different path. But until that other person feels this, my love will be one-sided. Unrequited. Kataomoi�� Gackt finished.

�Turn here,� Hyde said, pointing his arm forward. I made the turn slowly and Hyde gave me another direction to follow. �This is it,� He said as I pulled the car to a stop. �Thank you, Gackt. Thank you for the shirt, and the ride, and the� conversation.�

I smiled fondly and turned to face Hyde. �You�re welcome, of course. And anytime � for any of it. My dry cleaner needs practice after all.� I added a small laugh and Hyde laughed with me. He reached to the back of the car for his shirt and exited the car. This moment couldn�t end yet. I opened the door also and walked behind Hyde to his door.

I watched him walk up the driveway when he turned around as he noticed me behind him. �Gacchan, you don�t have to accompany me to my own home,� Hyde said with a crooked grin.

�I�m just trying to be polite,� I answered as Hyde opened his door and shifted awkwardly before turning to face me.

�Well� goodnight.� Hyde quietly said as he stood in the large door frame looking up at me.

�I hope to hear from you again soon, Hyde.� I quietly responded. In a manga or a movie this would be that moment where the chivalrous male leans in and gives his lover a kiss goodnight� But instead I gave a slight bow and went back to my car. I closed the door as I climbed in and inhaled deeply, still able to smell the faint scent that was distinctly Hyde and which my nostrils were now becoming familiar with. As I looked out toward his home I noticed he was still standing in the doorway just looking in my direction. Slowly I pulled out and turned the speaker volume back up as Hyde�s vocals sung to me��Dearest Love, dakishimeteru��

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