Matchmaker, Matchmaker

	She didn’t know why she was nervous.  It wasn’t like she’d never been on a date or had just decided he was important enough to sleep with.  It was just dinner and dancing with a nice man.  Dr. John Gregory was unassuming, good looking, smart enough to know she had a brain and knew how to use it, and could pick a decent restaurant to impress her with.  With a sigh she gave up trying to get her hair to do what it didn’t want to and grabbed the bag that went to the high necked tunic blouse and matching palazzo pants.  “All right,” she announced as she headed downstairs, “Get it over with.”
	Janice and Spock looked up from their dinner but didn’t make any remarks.  Chapel took that as a bad sign, “Okay either I look like a frump or a window girl in Amsterdam.” 
	Spock was confused and looked to Rand for translation, “Saturnian Harem Girl.”
	“Ah,” he replied, “I would not say that.”
	“Then it’s frumpy,” Christine sighed.  
	“Let’s just say you’re trying to dazzle him with your personality instead of stunning him with cleavage,” Jan compromised.  
	Chapel snorted, “That obvious eh?  Well if he wants cleavage he’ll have to wait around a while… at least until the second date.” 
	She sat at her usual spot at the table.  Her nose wrinkled at the smell, “What flavor is it this time?”
	“Lime, chili, garlic,” Spock replied.  
	“Gads…” Christine commented, “I’ll be glad when you two are done with your dried noodle diet.”
	A knock at the door interrupted the conversation.  Chapel went to answer it with a smile, “Come on in.  I’m sure they’ll have to meet you.”
	John Gregory, 6’3”, nicely built, salt and pepper beard, and with a sailor’s tan entered with flowers in hand.  He was full of it and winked, “Hi Mom, Dad.”
	Janice laughed.  She liked him already, “Sonny you be good to our little girl.”
	Spock was sober, “Dr. Chapel is not little and hardly a girl.”
	Christine waved his comment off, “Don’t mind him, he doesn’t play.  Dr. John Gregory this is Captain Spock and Lieutenant Commander Janice Rand—Starfleet.”
	Gregory smiled, “Call me Grigsy, and don’t worry, I’ll have her home before daylight.”
	“Considerably earlier would be more advisable,” Spock suggested, “She has duty at 0900.”
	Christine frowned, “I’ll be home by midnight… POP, don’t wait up for me.”  
	Rand chuckled, “Do what I’d do and you’ll be sure to have a good time.”	
	Christine nodded toward the door, “Before the steaks are all gone I think we need to leave.”
	When they were gone Jan looked down at her finished plate and the half full pot, “So just me, you, a pot of ramen noodles, and a pile of laundry hip deep.  Sounds like real fun for a Friday night.  At least Christine has a nice looking date.  He seemed pleasant, hope they hit it off…” 
	She couldn’t help but notice the look on Spock’s face although it only registered for a few moments.  “What?  You don’t like Grigsy?”
	“Does my opinion of Dr. Gregory matter?” Spock replied as he gathered his section of dishware to be cleaned.  
	The blonde shrugged, “It might.  Chris depends on your opinion, trusts it just as much as mine and Ny’s.  Your opinion might help her decide whether or not he sees cleavage next time.”
	Spock shook his head, “It should not be so.”
	“You’re right, but Chris never could trust her own judgment.  That deal with Roger Korby really threw her for a loop and she’s afraid to get hanged with it again.  She’s really desperate to love someone, anyone,” Rand revealed and then realized who she was saying that to.  
	“Including me,” Spock replied as he retrieved the rest of the dishes to be washed.  
	She winced, “Well no, I mean yeah, I mean… never mind.”
	“Contrary to popular opinion, I do understand,” Spock assured.  
	“You do?  Then explain it to me,” she prompted.  
	“Dr. Chapel’s fixation with me in the past was a need for her damaged psyche to rest.  It allowed her to love as she needed to do but fear no reprisal or compensation.  However there are drawbacks.  She has continued in this mode now for so long she cannot move forward in her emotional state, nor can I truly express myself in her presence for fear it might be misinterpreted by everyone.”  		
	That threw Rand for a loop, “Wow, I never thought of that.”
	“For instance, if I had stated Dr. Chapel looked exceptionally nice before she left not only would it have played in her mind all evening but you would have nearly burst trying to tell Ms. Uhura, thereby perpetuating this notion that I have feelings for her.”
	No matter that he just called her a gossip, Janice decided to go on to another topic, “All right, so did you think she looked particularly nice?”
	“I believe I said exceptionally, not particularly,” Spock said.  Janice took it as a sign, just as he said she would.  
	She tapped his chest, “You do like her.”
	Spock sighed, “Of course I do.  I also ‘like’ you and Ms. Uhura and dozens of other females of various backgrounds.”
	Janice shook her head, “No, you like, like her.  Otherwise, if you didn’t you wouldn’t be so fussy about who she sees.” 
	“I am not fussy about who she sees.  Dr. Gregory appears on the surface to be of reputable character and from what I know of human sexual attraction a viable candidate for a match,” Spock defended. 
	Janice shrugged, “So, as long as he looks good, sounds good, and can deliver you don’t really care who Chris takes up with.”
	“I would not say that either.  I wish for her to have a successful emotional life as well as professional one.”
	“And you?” Janice asked.  
	“I do not understand.”
	“Do you wish to have a successful emotional and professional life?” Rand probed.  
	Spock once again sighed, this time in sheer frustration.  When would humans learn that concern for his emotional life was useless, “Ms. Rand, Janice, I will attempt to explain this in such a way as you will understand.  While I may appear to you to be simply a human with pointed ears, it is not true.  It is far more complicated for words… You wish to have me woo Dr. Chapel and give her a declaration of undying love.  You picture some happy ending with roses and a white picket fence.  That is not possible.  It has nothing to do with our backgrounds or our sexual compatibility.  It has everything to do with my inability to express anything I might feel—for anyone.  Would you damn her, one who truly needs someone to love her, protect her, and treat her the way she deserves, as a human, not as a wife of a Vulcan whose interests are very often not in interaction with others?”
	“But how would you know…” Janice protested.
	“Because I saw first hand what being married to a full Vulcan was like for a Human.  My mother has suffered decades for her love.  I have also been able to see Human couples and how they were prepared to interact.  My father has given very little of his time to her, unless he had to,” Spock said and knowing that Rand was aware of Vulcan sexuality added, “every seven years is not what would be considered intimate.”  
	Jan considered a second.  She’d met Amanda, had enjoyed spending what time she had with Spock’s mother.  “But if your mother was so miserable why has she stayed?”
	“She has had little choice in the matter,” Spock replied.  “You have some misguided notion that if Chapel and I were to become… compatible I would somehow be converted into a passionate, overly affectionate being.  I greatly fear that it would be just the opposite; Christine would be converted into a woman trapped into a relationship that was not what she had envisioned and become long suffering and bitter.  I believe she’s been in that state already for far too long to continue that way the rest of her life.”
	Janice realized that Spock was more afraid for himself than for Chapel and she was almost sorry she’d asked.  But then again, she was glad that he had revealed this to her, it was as if she knew something precious and private about him.  He started to go down to his rooms and Rand decided something, “Spock, I appreciate what it took for you to tell me this.  I know I have a reputation as a gossip, and it’s a well deserved one, but I won’t say anything to anyone, but I will tell Uhura you thought Christine looked particularly nice.”  
	“Exceptionally,” he corrected again and disappeared into his rooms certain that while he had explained his reasons to Janice and she accepted them, he would never be able to accept them himself.