Just a Little Silly 
Okay a lot silly.  These are stories posted as challenges or drabbles or little bits and pieces.  
DISCLAIMER: Paramount may own the names, but Roddenberry owns their souls....

The Purple Heart

"Kiss me." 

Christine Chapel conked her head on the underside of the lab table. Extricating herself, 
she looked up at the chief science officer. "Excuse me?" 

Presenting her with the small purple heart he had found after moving the cabinet back 
into its normal position he repeated, "Kiss me." 

"That's where it went," she smiled and popped it into her mouth. 

"Dr. Chapel, you do not know where that has been," Spock said slightly aghast. 

"Well, it's been lost since last Valentine's Day when I dropped it. I love the purple ones," 
she explained with a bright mischievous smile. 

Spock was still concerned. "Valentine's Day was 212 days ago." 

"Yes, and these are mostly sugar and food coloring. Besides they were from a batch I 
bought two Valentine's ago and were probably old when they were in the store.
So I really don't think you have to worry. Your Ensign on the other hand," she was deadly 
serious. 

The Vulcan nodded gravely, "Yes, he does seem to be able to turn the most mundane 
tasks into havoc." 

The Chief Medical Officer nodded and grimly surveyed her favorite laboratory. All this 
ensign had to do was bring in the beakers and vials to be pressure sanitized
and leave. Placing them in the unit, he didn't adjust it from metal to glass and shattered 
every one of them. The unit itself exploded from the mistake and caused the
cabinet with the chemical supplies to come crashing to the floor. Luckily, the cabinet's 
magnetic lock had held keeping the dangerous chemicals from possibly mixing
and blowing out the entire wall out to the corridor. 

"Why is he even on board?" Christine asked, a twinge of anger in the question. 

"As punishment for non-payment of child support, he has been sent into deep space to 
pay off his debt. I believe he is angered by this judgment," the Vulcan answered
and resumed picking up the bits of debris that were large enough to handle with bare 
hands. 

"I thought he was little old to be an ensign," the tall blonde chuckled. "He has to be at 
least 40. You'd have thought he could at least run an auto-clave." 

"I will transfer him to janitorial duties," Spock decided. 

"Good God, he'll bung up all the carzies!" she lamented and at his questioning look 
explained, "Stop up all the toilets." 

"I hope not," he answered softly. The room was as clean as they could get it. Maintenance 
would have to do the rest of the work. 

As the two walked down the corridor, the ensign in question appeared. Spock stopped 
him calmly. Christine glowered at the hapless boob. 

"Ensign, you are transferred to the janitorial section. Report to Lt. Beeman in the 
morning." 

"Yes...sir," he added reluctantly then brightened, "Say, does that mean she's not my 
superior officer anymore?" 

Spock nodded and the man rocked back joyfully on his heels. His blue eyes fairly 
glowed, "Well, in that case, ma'am, how about a date?" 

Christine barely controlled her laughter, "Ensign McCoy, I think I'd be too much for 
you." 

And with that the tall blonde caressed Spock's smooth jaw, "Come on dear. After all, you 
know what they say....once you've had a Vulcan, you'll never want anyone
else." 

THE END

Chocolate Sauce Challenge...
Disclaimer, why bother, you know and I know and they know we all 
know...

"Lord it's hotter than Vulcan on a hot summer day in here!" Leonard 
McCoy complained.  

"Just hand me the chocolate sauce," Spock replied and began drizzling 
it over the baked concoction he had just pulled out of the oven.  
Christine's birthday was here, and he was not going to miss it like 
he 
did Valentine's Day.  The package he had ordered had just arrived and 
was already wrapped so McCoy could not peek.

"So, what did you get your lady love?" the doctor teased.  

"Love is not logical," answered Spock as he finished putting the 
whipped cream around the base of the cake.  

"Well, a monkey may only be a monkey and a banana only a banana, but 
you are an illogical Vulcan," the doctor harrumphed and shook his 
head. 

The tall figure allowed his focus to switch from the decadent dessert 
to the McCoy," I assure you doctor that we are not acting like a 
couple of lovesick teenagers.  We have merely come to an understanding that 
is all."

As he turned to go, he could hear McCoy, "Yeah, I saw you kiss 
Christine last night!  Understanding my Aunt Jane's corset cover..."

Christine's cabin was aglow in candlelight.  Spock guided the 
blindfolded doctor into the room, "Really Spock what are you up to?"

"Simply upholding a human tradition," and with that removed the silk 
scarf from her eyes.  A package sat on the desk as well as a covered 
tray.  The Vulcan moved to stand behind them and she stared at the 
bulging boxer shorts with red roses all over them.  Smiling, she 
opened the present.  A pair of silver his and hers handcuffs gleamed 
against the dark satin of the lining.  A flourish of Spock's hand 
removed the cover to reveal the cake.  Raw naked desire was clearly 
in her eyes.  

Spock smiled playfully, "So, how many times do I get to spank the 
birthday girl?"

FIN

DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The 
story contents are the creation and property of T'Kuht and is copyright
(c) 2001 by T'Kuht. Okay, this is the first time I've actually written anything and 
submitted it so I hope you like it. I am also an Andy Griffith fan and as I was working
the other day I nearly laughed my ass off just picturing this. 

Deputy Spock and Miss Christine

"Uhura, get me sickbay, "Spock called as he ran a comb through his black hair and 
splashed a little witch hazel onto his uniform. As his call was being placed he fairly
leapt into his desk chair and put his feet up on the desk. Whistling a little tune, he almost 
smiled when sickbay answered, "Sickbay, Christine here." 

Leaning into the comm panel, he said in his soft baritone, "Christine, this is Spock." 

"Oh, hi. How may I help you?" 

"Just making sure everything was all right. You wouldn't have any free time this evening 
when we get to Starbase 5, would you? We could go to Morelli's and have
their blue plate special..." 

"Dutch treat, I suppose," her voice answered, a little disgusted. Spock was a cheap date. 

"Well, I could swing for the ice cream later. Then we could go to the pond, skip some 
rocks," he suggested and began filing his nails. 

"Really, I should probably stay on board. There are all those supplies coming in," she 
excused, trying to let him down easy. 

"Christine, I've been working on that song ... the one just for you." 

"Oh?" 

Turning his back to the desk and staring at the large firepot he began (sung to the tune 
"Juanita"), "Christine, oh oh oh Christine, you and I must never part ... Christine,
oh oh oh Christine you are here within my heart." 

Without his hearing it, Captain James Kirk had come in his cabin just as he got to the 
chorus. Grinning mischievously, Kirk crept up behind Spock and leaned down to
the intercom. Just as Spock finished the second verse and started into the chorus, Kirk 
chimed in, "Christine, oh oh oh Christine..." 

Spock leapt out of the chair, knocking it over and in a pose of paranoia 
stammered, "Sickbay, trouble check out ... roger, wilco, and over." 

Kirk was still laughing as he ran out of the cabin, ducking to avoid being hit by the bottle 
of witch hazel. 

FIN 

DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The 
story contents are the creation and property of T'Kuht and is
copyright (c) 2001 by T'Kuht. This story is Rated PG-13.

Christine Cubed

"I knew as soon as I saw you at your desk that I wanted you. You are mine, Christine, 
mine, and I want you with me forever. Now we can do that.

"Let me put you on my bed. You'll lie beside me every night, I shall caress your sleek 
body. I revel in the idea of running my lips along your thighs. You make
every human cell of my body scream for you. The Vulcan part of me yearns to touch you, 
possess you in only the way a man can.

"Shall I tell you what lovemaking with me will be like? First I shall kiss you till your lips 
are pulsing, your heart shall be beating so hard I can hear it in your ears, air
will be impossible to breathe. Inch by inch I shall explore your body as I remove each 
item of clothing. I want nothing to be between us. I will feel your nails as
they dig into my shoulders as I suckle you as a babe. I will support you when your knees 
can no longer stand the strain of my teasing lips, darting tongue. Your
voice will be like music as you first scream then whisper my name. I will excite you to 
the point that you are no longer able to feel the world around you. Your
mind will be on another plane. Then when you think you are about to die, I will take you, 
move deep inside you, caress you until you cannot cope with the
sensations another second. You will be whimpering, you will beg for it to end but urge 
me to continue. Our release will be so intense that no words can express
even the beginning of what love will be between us.

"We will be together always, you will never leave my side Christine, always, always ... 
and what will you do to me? You can stroke me till I am senseless with the
agony of it, make me delirious with fever, and then soothe me with your sweet cool lips. 
You can run your fingers through my hair, tossle it, tease it, I will pulsate
beneath you. My head will be..."

"Spock, this is Dr. McCoy."

"Yes, Doctor."

"Do you happen to know what happened to Dr. M'Benga's cube? I set him on Christine's 
desk after Rojan turned them all into those dad-blamed whatever it was
you called them. Now, I can't find him. I was going to put his in with Christine's so that 
they'd be easy to find if I needed them."

"...(clearing throat)... I am not certain where his cube might be Doctor, but I will be there 
to help you search momentarily. Spock out."

THE END

The In-Crowd

	Deep in the bowels of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701, a tiny 
security room becomes the weekly hang out of the ultra super 
secret organization known as BACAS.  It was an exclusive 
members only club and very, very hush hush.  
	"The weekly meeting of BACAS will now come to order," 
Ensign Cheree Cargill said as she smacked the rubber tuna on the 
table.  
	The room settled down and the attending members listened 
attentively to their duly appointed leader.  "It has come to my 
attention that we have some issues to discuss regarding last week's 
technical snafu," Cheree said apologetically.  Ronda Sexton, the 
recording secretary, handed her the complaint sheet.  "Yes, I see 
several problems, but this one is completely out of our control.  
Maria we simply cannot fulfill your request for more 
compromising situations between Spock and Uhura.  I'm sorry."
	At the front of the group, petite Maria, known affectionately 
as 'Momthing' nodded," Can I at least get replays of the under the 
control panel scenes?"
	"Sure.  We'll have Cheryl set you up with that footage when 
she comes in later tonight.  Make a note of that Ronda."
	"Check," Ronda replied and scribbled it on her datapadd.  
	In her usual corner in the back, T'Kuht raised her hand," 
Cheree?"
	"Yes Yeoman T'Kuht."
	"It will be necessary for my study of human sexual practices 
to have more in depth pictures of certain members.  Is there any 
way that I can gain access to the more non-secure areas of the 
following crew's quarters:  Lt. Sulu, Ensign Chekov, Lt. 
Commander Scott, Dr. M'Benga, and Commander Spock."
	Cheree frowned," T'Kuht, Spock's not human."
	She shrugged," I can dream can't I?"
	A giggle went through the crowd.  Cheree shook her head 
sadly," Alas, we have to content ourselves with the public areas of 
the ship.  Now if we can get more footage like Sulu's sword 
fighting, we'll let you know.  Is there any new business to 
discuss?"
	Kali, chief recruiting officer, stood up," Two new members 
wish to be initiated."
	"Excellent.  Bring the initiates in."
	Kali left the room and gave the others time to don their coney 
bra masks to protect their identities from possible spies.  If word of 
this leaked out it would mean the end of their fun not to mention 
the blight on the security department.  
	The door opened and two blindfolded women shuffled in.  
They would remain blindfolded during the first few minutes of the 
meeting.  
	Cheree spoke," Kali, you know that according to the rules set 
forth in our handbook that senior staff is not permitted to join."
	"But, they are junior crew also," Kali contended. 
	A murmur went through the group.  It was true.  "Should we 
vote on this before we take the blindfolds off?"
	A show of hands indicated that they would be considered for 
the group.  Jackie B. spoke up," Why do you want to join?  You 
two have daily access to these guys."
	The blonde spoke first," We have daily contact, but we have 
to be professional all day.  We want a place where we can be 
unprofessional and with people who won't think we're weird or 
disrespectful."
	The black officer added," Besides, we don't get to see some 
of the things you do here."
	That was true.  The angle and the zoom capabilities that they 
had in this room was better than any except the up close and 
personal views.  Looking around to make sure that everyone was in 
agreement, Ronda said," I move that we allow the two new 
members to join BACAS."
	"I second it," Maria said with an enthusiastic smile.  Kali 
removed the blindfolds.  The two women blinked at their new club 
sisters.  They accepted the coney bra masks that were handed to 
them.  
	"Here are your sacred masks.  Wear them only here and 
during our secret meetings.  You will be given the official books 
and lists of all the services that we presently have available.  Do 
either of you have any questions?"
	The two women shook their heads. They were anxious to get 
started with the regular club proceedings and benefits.  "All right, 
without further ado, we'll begin this evenings viewings.  Lights."
	T'Kuht reached up and turned the main lights off to leave the 
large view screens the only illumination in the room.  A large bowl 
of popcorn was passed around from the left.  Yellow peeps and Mt. 
Dew began circulating from the back.  The screen lit up with an 
extreme close up of a butt.  "Ladies?"
	"Spock…definitely Spock," Chapel said quickly.  
	"Good, point for new initiate Chapel."
	A new scene showed a crotch.  Uhura nearly leaped out of 
her seat," Oh, that's the Captain."
	"Excellent.  You ladies are one of us aren't you?" Ronda 
said.  
	"Sure.  Why do you think we wanted to join the Butt and 
Crotch Admirers Society?"  Chapel said with a gleam in her eyes.  

DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The 
story contents are the creation and property of T'Kuht and is
copyright (c) 2001 by T'Kuht. Rated PG-13.

Drinks on the House

Christine Chapel perched herself seductively on a stool and said, "I'd like a slow screw 
against a wall please."

Spock's expression was priceless. All evening he'd been duty bound to fulfill as many of 
the crew's requests as possible, but this one was different. Clearing his throat, he replied, "I cannot do that."

The nurse was downcast. "Oh, well how about some sex on the beach?"

Again, the expression was almost too much. Greening a little at the ear tips, he shook his 
head. "I cannot provide that either." 

"Hmm, well there's always a little slippery nipple," she suggested and leaned forward to 
give him a few straight down the low cut dress past the voluptuous breasts.

"I don't think so," he replied becoming slightly uncomfortable at the tone she had. 

Reaching forward, she tapped his hand with a long fingernail, "How about a blow job? 
Surely you can do that for me?"

"That I can do," he answered and poured a shot of Jack Daniels and added whipped 
cream to top it off. Sliding it forward, he nodded, "Your drink."

Bemused Christine gave an evil little grin. "Mr. Spock, I don't drink."

And with that she slid off the barstool and headed out into the corridor. At the other end 
of the bar, Uhura was laughing so hard at the look on Spock's extremely green face that she didn't mind losing the bet at all....

FIN