Don’t Close Your Eyes 

	He moved against her, the moans dying to a whimper as he came.  Brushing the hair from her face he watched the expression on her features for just a moment.  She was contented this way, eyes closed, chin tilted up to reveal the long neck he enjoyed so much.  If he could just keep her that way but he could not, “Christine.”  His whisper broke the spell.  She always covered her disappointment well.  It was only a split second before the look disappeared completely.  He had been so busy with his own pleasures for some time after they’d become involved before he even noticed that look.  But she always wore it no matter how passionate he’d been with her.  She smiled at him, “What?”
	“Nothing, can I not look at you when you are so beautiful?”
	She chuckled, “Sure, it was just that you looked a little… odd, like something was wrong or out of place.”
	“No,” he said and rolled away to lie on his back.  Christine perched above him propped up on one elbow, “Worried about the next trip?”
	“I would not use the term worried, perhaps concerned.  But I always am,” he corrected.  Chapel snuggled against him sleepy in the aftermath of their love.  The smell of her hair filled his nose and he drank it in as he breathed deep.  She did not know that he knew; did not realize that it was impossible for him to leave and not come back to her.  He had tried, oh how he had tried, but like a force of nature they were always pulled together.  And when they met again nothing mattered to him but her and being with her.  He could feel her begin to drift off and she murmured, “You know I love you.”
	“Yes,” he answered and he did know.  She did love him, but there was always another love deeper in her heart, an unbreakable love that even fifteen years could not erase.  He had accepted it as part of her as if it were an arm or a leg or that smile when she saw him come back to her.  In the low light he caressed her as she slept both savoring and dreading the act.  He knew the time would come.  Even as she held him, in her dreams she wished another.  So low it was just a whisper but he made it out, “Roger…”
	The pain was always great, and it did not matter how prepared he was, how many times he’d heard it, it hurt worse than any dagger to the heart.  But it was nothing to the pain when he thought of never coming back to her.  She loved him, all of him, the Vulcan half and the Human half as a whole.  He was determined she would never know he knew who she really wanted.  It would remain with him till the day he died and beyond.  Pulling her close he answered her call for her true beloved, “Yes, Christine I am here…”