Author's Notes:HUGE thanks to my smut writer Pix. (I never lost faith) To my beta on this chapter CorruptCarbyKid. Luv ya Chica! Also big thanks to everyone on the FanForum thread. You guys never lost hope. :kiss:
Rating: NC-17. You have been warned.
Ch 4
Abby brushed her hair a final time before leaving her bathroom. She put her watch on her wrist and just as she finished tying her sneaker she heard the doorbell ring.
"Mommy, someone�s at the door!" Hope shouted from the living room where she and Faith were watching a video Susan had given to them.
�Thank you sweetie.� Abby said as she moved out of her bedroom to answer the door. She opened it to find the sitter she�d hired. �Mrs. Donaldson, right on time.�
The older woman smiled. �Well it wouldn�t look good if you were late for your first day.�
�Come in.� Abby moved aside and let her pass. �Faith, Hope, look who�s here.�
The girls looked up and smiled. They hopped off the couch and came over to Abby and Mrs. Donaldson. Abby knelt down so she was eye level with the girls. �Remember what we talked about last night?�
�Uh-huh.� The girls nodded.
�So you two are gonna be good and listen to Mrs. Donaldson right?�
�Yes.� They chorused.
�Okay.� She pulled them both in for a hug and kiss. �I promise to kiss you when I get home okay, but you�ll be sleeping and I don�t know if I�ll be here when you wake up tomorrow morning cause I have to be at work at seven but I will be home by four-thirty, so we can have dinner and I can put you to bed. But Mrs. Donaldson will be here and I promise to call when I get a dinner break.�
The girls smiled and hugged Abby. �I love you Mommy.� They said together.
�I love you too.� She said before she released them and stood back up. �Okay go back to your movie so I can talk to Mrs. Donaldson.�
The girls ran off without question.
�Okay, I will be home by eight-thirty, hopefully. The numbers are by the phone in the kitchen. I haven�t had time to get them a pediatrician yet but I�m working on it. There�s a box of macaroni and cheese in the cupboard and a jar of applesauce in the fridge. They go to bed at seven-thirty and they both need a bath. There�s a book of stories on the nightstand in the corner between their beds and the CD in the player on the bookshelf has Faith�s favorite CD in it. A story will make Hope fall asleep but Faith needs music. The extra bedroom is all set up for you and if you need anything call me at work.�
�I will. Abby don�t worry, I raised four children of my own. I can handle it.�
�I know.� Abby smiled. �Okay you�ll be fine. They�ll be fine. I�ll just be a nervous wreck but I can handle it.� She checked her watch. �Okay, I�m going. Bye girls.�
�Bye Mommy.�
John tied his tie in the mirror while Ava sat on their bed and talked into the phone. She was talking to her mother and from the way the conversation sounded on this end, it wasn�t going well.
�Fine then you don�t have to watch me.� Ava said before hanging the phone up.
�Everything okay?�
�Not exactly. Mom refuses to accept my decision and is being completely irrational.�
�I�m sorry Ava.�
�It�ll be fine. Mom just doesn�t want to see me stay in a marriage for a child.�
John looked at her in the mirror. �We�re not.�
Ava smiled. �Good. You better get going. You�re gonna be late.�
�You on today?�
�Later.�
�Okay. I will see you later.� John kissed her quickly and then grabbed his things before leaving.
�Carol, just the nurse I was looking for.� Michael Romano said when he saw the dark-haired woman at the admit desk.
�What can I do for you Michael?�
�Kerry says we�re getting a new nurse today.�
�Yep. She starts at twelve.�
�We have a name yet?�
�Abby Lockhart.� A new voice said from behind them.
Carol turned around. �Abby, it�s so good to see you. Welcome back.� Carol wasn�t quite sure if she should give the fellow nurse a hug but Abby surprised her by giving Carol one.
�Hi Carol.� Abby smiled. �And thank you. It�s nice to be back.�
�Abby, this is Dr. Michael Romano.�
A look of confusion crossed Abby�s face before she put her hand out. �It�s nice to meet you Dr. Romano.�
�Michael, please. It cuts down on the confusion. It�s a pleasure to meet you too. I take it from Carol�s greeting that you�ve worked here before.�
�Yeah. I left about four years ago when I joined Amnesty International. I resigned a few months ago and when Susan, Dr. Lewis, told me you needed a nurse down here it seemed like the perfect idea.�
�Well welcome aboard. I�m supposed to help Carol show you around but I don�t think much has changed.�
�No it really hasn�t. A new face or two though. Connie quit so we got a new nurse and you�ve never met Doug.�
�No I haven�t. I was sorry to hear Dr. Greene transferred though.�
�We all were.� Michael said. �I worked with Mark for about a month before he and Rachel moved to San Diego. He was a dedicated doctor.�
�I always thought so.�
�Abby let�s get you a locker so you can put your things away. Then I�ll take you around and get you reacquainted with the place.�
�Sounds good. Bye Michael. I guess I�ll see you around.�
�Sure will.�
�I heard we got you back.� Haleh said to Abby when she spotted the younger woman behind the desk talking to Randi.
�In the flesh.� Abby said as she turned in a circle.
�What are you looking at Randi?� Chuni asks, noticing the album the desk clerk was flipping through.
�Pictures of Abby�s girls.� Randi said.
�You got kids?� Chuni asked as she peered over Randi�s shoulder.
�Two girls. They just turned three.�
�Oh they�re beautiful. What are their names?�
�The one with the darker brown hair is Faith and the one with the lighter hair is Hope.�
�Cute. Where was this taken?� Randi asked as she pointed to a picture.
Abby looked at the picture Randi was referring too. �The army base the girls and I lived on in Chechnya.�
�Army base?�
�Yeah. I wasn�t in the army but whenever A.I. transferred me they put me in an army hospital so what better place to live than an army base? I got to know a lot about the �army way� of doing things. I even have dog tags.�
�Really?� Haleh asked.
�Yeah.�
�I can say the same.� Susan said as she walked up.
Abby smiled. It faded a second later and she looked nervous. Very nervous. Susan was about to ask her what was wrong when Abby turned so that her back was to Susan. Susan�s brow furrowed but then she realized what was wrong.
�Hey Haleh? Have you seen those x-rays on the patient in Exam Four?� Carter�s voice said.
�Right here, Carter.� Randi said distractedly as she handed him the envelope and flipped a page at the same time. �I bet this was their birthday party.� She remarked to Chuni.
Chuni looked and giggled. �Judging from all the frosting on their faces, I�d say yes. Abby was it?�
John looked up. He hadn�t noticed Abby who was standing with her back to him.
�Uh yeah that was this past April. The C.O. let me give the party in the officer�s club. Some of the guys in the outfit had kids so Faith and Hope had a lot of friends there.�
�Hey Abby? Can you give Dave a hand? He�s in Exam One with Lily. The patient is being volatile and Lily�s having trouble getting the I.V. in.� Carol said.
�Sure Carol. Randi when you�re done just set the album aside.� Abby turned around and caught Carter staring at her. �Dr. Carter, nice to see you again.� She said with a smile before she headed for Exam One.
Susan watched Carter�s expression carefully. He looked like he�d been sucker punched in the stomach.
Maybe keeping Al�s homecoming a secret hadn�t been such a good idea after all.
Jing-Mei watched Dave with an amused expression.
�Son of b-�
�Dave.� She interrupted nodding towards her own patient, a five-year-old boy.
�Sorry.�
She smiled a little before looking down at her chart. She looked up a second later when she heard a crash of metal and an �Oomph!� Dave had landed on the floor at the feet of - Oh God. �Abby?�
�Hi Dr. Chen.� Abby smiled before she looked down at Dave. �Well Dave, if I had known you�d fall at my feet, I�d have come back a lot sooner.� She�d never admit it to him but she�d actually missed Dave. He could always make her laugh when she needed it the most just by being himself.
�Abby?� Dave asked.
�Surprise.�
�Oh wow.� Dave got up and turned around to face his former med student. �I heard we were getting a new nurse but I had no idea it was you.�
�No one did. I wanted it to be a surprise.�
�It is. It definitely is.�
�So, are you just going to stand there staring at me or are you going to give your former med student a hug?�
Dave complied and gave the small woman a hug. �Welcome back Abby.�
�Thanks.� Abby smiled.
John slammed the chart he was working on shut on the lounge table. This was impossible.
�John?�
�Of all the ER�s in all the world, she had to walk back into this one. Why, why is she here?�
Jing-Mei sighed. �I take it you�ve seen Abby.� She said as she sat down.
�Yeah. A few hours ago, what about you?�
�When she came in to help Dave and Lily with a patient. I nearly dropped my chart when I saw her.�
�What about Dave?�
�His patient chose the exact moment Abby walked in to knock Dave on his back. Abby said if she�d known he�d fall at her feet, she�d have come back sooner.�
�She said that?� John raised an eyebrow.
�Yeah she did.� Jing-Mei said in a calm voice, unwilling to admit that it had bugged her just a little bit.
�She flirted with him?�
�I wouldn�t call it flirting.� She protested.
�I would.� John said.
�Are you okay?�
�I�m fine. Her being here is not going to affect me.�
�John.�
�I mean it Deb. Abby Lockhart is not going to affect me at all.�
Susan runs her hand through her hair and sighed. Another long day. Patient, sign. She glances around the suddenly quiet ER and feels a moment to catch her breath. Guilt washes over her. Carter was ambushed by the appearance of Abby. She should have considered that.
She had been friends with Carter for so long. Since he was a plucky, innocent medical student. He had helped her through the loss of Little Susie, and not once did she consider what she was doing him. She was conspiring with Abby to keep his children from him, just for his sin of moving on with his life.
"Lost in thought?" Abby asks as she files away a chart and flashes a smile at her friend. Susan shrugs and gives a morose smile. She doesn't want to share her ruminations with Abby, who is dealing with her own guilt.
"Nah," she finally answers. "How was your first day?"
"I must say, about the expected. It�s odd to be back in the mix of normal hospital patients. No traumas actually, or at least yet."
"Don't jinx it."
"I hope not." Abby sighs and checks her watch. "I hope the sitter gets the kids to bed on time."
"I�m sure she will. Al, you're acting like you never left the girls alone before."
"Maybe it's because John is here. Lurking, sulking."
"Yeah, well he was surprised. Ambushed even."
"That never was my intention," Abby defends. Susan smiles and pats her shoulder.
"I know. Carter is just going through a hard time. Divorce does that."
"Divorce?" Abby repeats, unsure of what emotion she's feeling. Relief? Joy even? Susan detects a shift of Abby's facial features.
"Are you happy?"
"No," Abby admits, or at least, says what she wants to believe. "This must be killing John. I know him Susan. And if there is one thing I truly know about him, John Carter only wants to be married once."
"Susan," Carter greets, icily staring at Abby. "Have you met the new nurse, Abby Lockhart?"
"Yes, I have made her acquaintance. Al, is this better than the army hospitals?"
"Much. The workers aren't armed." She glances at Carter. "At least, I hope they�re not."
"Well, I don't have time to deal with this chatting. I need to pick up my wife." Abby feels as if someone kicked her legs out from under her. Hearing those words from him. Wife. Then, she sees what she has missed all day under surgical gloves. The platinum band.
Abby excuses herself, claiming to need to see a patient. Carter wonders if that was a direct hit to her ice queen fa�ade. He assumed that someone had told her about his marriage to Ava.
"John, I realize that you want to hurt her, but calling Ava your wife�" Susan trails off. "Do you want Dave to punch you again?"
"Susan, we've reconciled."
"Congratulations," she adds, internally screaming at herself for her words sounding hollow. "I'm so happy for you."
"Yeah, well I need to get going. Ava is waiting for me in her office." He walks off, leaving a flabbergasted Susan.
Abby sighed as she locked the gate to the front courtyard of her home. She quietly let herself into the house and put her purse down on the table next to the door. She saw the top of Mrs. Donaldson�s head as she sat on the couch watching TV.
�Mrs. Donaldson?� She said.
The baby-sitter turned her head. �Abby, you�re home.�
�Yeah. Traffic was light. Girls go down okay?�
�Angels.�
�Don�t I wish?� Abby smiled. �I�m gonna check in on them and then I�m going to bed.�
�Good night Abby.�
�Night.� Abby turned and went to the right. The window across from the door of her daughters� room allowed light to illuminate the dark hall. She quietly opened the door and slipped in. She knelt down next to Hope first. The little girl snored softly and Abby smiled as she pushed the little girl�s light brown hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. She placed a gentle kiss on Hope�s forehead before moving to the bed on the adjoining wall of the bedroom. Faith was flat on her back near the edge of her bed, her breathing deep and even as she slept. Her dark brown hair was spread on her pillow and even in the dark Abby could see the drying spots the Faith�s formerly wet hair had made. Abby looked at her daughter�s sleeping face and smiled. Everyone said that Faith looked like Abby but there were times when Abby saw flashes of Maggie in Faith�s face and eyes. It wasn�t often but when they came they stuck with Abby for days. She smiled and quietly kissed Faith�s forehead before moving out of the room.
The house had become completely silent and dark while she�d been in with the girls and Abby smiled as she moved down the hall past the foyer to her own room. She�d had a feeling Mrs. Donaldson had been waiting up for her. It was sweet really, she mused as she undressed and then got into a long nightshirt. She discarded her watch before pulling her hair back into a ponytail. Her hair was longer then it had been when she had left County but it wasn�t as long as it had been when she�d been a medical student doing her ER rotation.
She looked at her bed for a moment before going to the other door in her bedroom and letting herself out into what the realtor had called the courtyard porch. Windows from the living room, dining room, foyer, and her own bedroom surrounded it. A gate and two doors allowed exit from it. She bypassed the hammock Susan and Luka had given her and settled into a deck chair.
It had been so strange to be back at County today. If she were totally honest with herself, it wasn�t County that was strange; it was being that close to John and not talking to him.
The one thing she knew she�d always regret about this whole situation was losing John as a friend. It really was true. Sex always ruined friendships.
Well, Abby thought as she drew one of her legs up, at least it was good.
"John?"
She could feel hands on her waist. "I'm right here, Abby." He pulled her back against his chest and tightened his arms around her. His hands began drawing up her stomach, massaging her in slow circles. His touch was rough. His voice commanding. "Tell me if you want me to stop." He asked, breathing the words into her ear.
"Mm," Abby murmured. "What?"
John's hands slid up to her breasts. "Do you want me to stop."
From somewhere she managed to find her voice, "No..."
"No, don't stop, or no, please stop?"
She went limp against him as he lightly pinched her nipples through the fabric of her shirt and bra. A pause as she found her breath. "The first one."
John undid the top button of Abby's blouse.
She could feel his hands on the second button, moving down to the third. "Just relax," He whispered.
She sighed, mentally trying to unhinge herself. He was right, as soon as he'd begun to touch her; her whole body had automatically tensed up. Just relax, Abby, just relax. It's just John and he's just... licking the rim of your ear with his hand on your right breast?
"Oh, God." She laughed self-consciously, giving herself another unconscious shake. "I am. I am."
There was one button left. "I don't bite."
Abby's shirt hung loose and open. John's hands slid up her naked belly and over her bra. "Unless you want me too, anyway." The silky fabric caressed her skin as he slipped it off, leaving a trail of goose bumps down her arms and shoulders. He whispered so softly into her ear that she almost couldn't hear him over the sound of her heart beating. "Take off your bra, Abby."
"What?"
She could feel his breath against her ear. "I said I want you to take off your bra."
He stepped away from her and she shivered. Abby didn't move for a minute. Now or never. Never or now. Her arms crossed. She took the elastic between her fingers and slowly lifted it off her breasts and over her shoulders. She tugged it over her nose and felt her hair pull up and then fall back across her neck as she handed the bra to him.
Abby leant back into him with a sigh as his hands moved over her hips, and then he cupped one hand between her thighs. She could feel his mouth at the back of her neck and his fingers move to undo the button of her pants.
John took her zipper between his thumb and forefinger and slid his hand down along her fly. He ordered her to step out of her shoes and then let her pants drop to the ground. His thumbs looped around the elastic band of her underwear and his palms pressed their way down Abby's thighs, taking the underwear with them, leaving everything exposed. The air was cool against her skin and she could feel the degree of her arousal between her legs. For one moment there was only euphoric fear, lust, and adrenaline, and the next she was covered in John.
His kiss was strong; his tongue invading her completely. He moved his mouth to her stomach and then her thigh, kneeling down in front of her. She grabbed for his shoulders just to keep her balance as his finger teased the opening of her vagina from behind. Slowly his finger pressed into her, and Abby's mouth opened in a silent moan.
John pulled her to the ground and climbed on top of her, sliding his fingers into her mouth. The hard wooden floor was cold against her back. Abby wound her tongue around John's fingers, sucking her taste clean off him. John took Abby's hands and ran them over his body, letting her touch him through his clothes, but then he pinned her to the ground. His weight crushing her against the floor.
He leant in close to her, their eyes meeting for the first time during this experience, suddenly making it seem more real to her.
He smiled, leaning over to kiss her deeply before rolling off. He moved her legs apart and she could feel his tongue slide up her thigh again, but this time it didn't stop. Abby could feel his breath between her legs and then the warmth of his mouth, and the flicking of his rapid tongue. He fed her two fingers, one at a time and nudged them slowly in and out. Abby moaned audibly, her head digging back against the cold of the floor. John held his fingers still inside of her and licked with vigor. She writhed against the floor her moans gaining in volume and intensity, until she reached the breaking point. Her body clenched tight around his fingers and her world went red.
John held her, not speaking for a moment, one hand caressing her hair softly. Abby could only lie next to him, shaky and dazed.
"John," she breathed. "Carter. Oh my God."
He laughed softly against her, "I'm sorry. I think I got carried away..."
Their legs had intertwined, although John was still fully clothed. She was still trying to regain her breath, acutely aware of her nudity. "Don't you ever apologize for doing anything like that again."
He kissed a corner of her jaw, his eyes glittering, "I'm sorry."
She laughed softly, and then sighed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to find her sense of gravity. Her whole body was tuned into his. Like a tuning fork that had just been struck -- she could feel his vibrations ring out throughout her body. She was left feeling awkward, vulnerable and still dizzy.
He kissed her softly, halting her thought processes mid-swing. The tip of his tongue explored the contours of her mouth as though checking to see if everything was where everything should be. Tongue. Check. Teeth. Check. Lips. Check...
Her hands ran down his chest, finding the top of his jeans and unplugging his shirt from them. She had her own examination to carry out. He was very obliging as she pulled the shirt up over his head, dropping it someplace behind her. She still lay on the hard cold floor of his bedroom and a detached part of her became aware of how much her back would kill her in the morning. The bed, it said. The bed is two feet away; eight or nine seconds away. The bed, it insisted. But that would involve too much conscious thought, too much awareness of where they were and what they were doing and her brain wanted no part in that. She could consider that sometime later. Right now, there were more immediate matters at hand, pun intended.
Her hands were now pulling at his belt, his mouth on her neck (jugular vein, check. Sternum, check) as she began edging John's stubborn jeans down off his hips.
"Take them off," she urged into an ear.
He glanced up at her, "Mm?"
"Your jeans..."
He raised an eyebrow innocently, "What would you like me to do with them, Abby?"
She groaned, "John..."
He grinned, drawing back from her, his knees either side of her waist as he finished dragging them down off each leg at a desperately slow pace. This elicited another playful groan from his participating audience, who grabbed the ends of each leg and pulled them off helpfully.
He laughed, ducking down to capture her lips again. Abby sighed, running her hands through his hair, and then trailing a path down his back, all thoughts of her future orthopedic problems and the implications of what they were doing dissolving in the warmth of his kiss. For moments nothing but the heat of their bodies and only what the other tasted or sounded like mattered. A meteor could have crash-landed in the middle of his bedroom and they wouldn�t have noticed.
He smelt dully of aftershave, and caffeine, mixed in with another more musky odor that was wholly him. Tasting of her own desire. He was naked now, too, and was kissing her neck with an intensity that she never knew he possessed. He paused in the middle of her throat, lingering there, his mouth barely touching the skin.
"Abby?"
She nodded. Another pause. His voice was even as he spoke softly.
"Abby... are you... are you sure you want this?"
She nodded her head furiously against him. She'd wanted this for so long, they'd both needed this for so long and the thought of her not getting it after all this time was almost unbearable. There was a moment�s hesitation before his lips touched her again and with a soft moan he entered her.
Their movements were frantic, their kisses and caresses passionate as they both sought the intimacy that they had tried to deny for so long. He sank into her, over and over again, abandoned completely to his need for her, fueled by her soft sighs of pleasure, until at last he surrendered to the inevitable, collapsing against her chest with one final cry.
They lay together in the dark for some time afterwards, listening to the sound of the other's breath steadying, her hands running through his damp hair, kissing his forehead as he fell asleep, his arms surrounding her and making her feel safer than she'd felt in months.
Maybe even years.
Abby smiled before she rose from the chair she sat in. She was tired and she had another long day ahead of her tomorrow. Thinking about John wouldn�t do her any good and why should she bother thinking about a man who probably hadn�t given her a second thought in years?
John looked at the back of Ava's sleeping form as they lay in bed. Then he looked at the clock. It was quarter to eleven. He looked back at the ceiling. They'd been in bed for about half an hour. Ava had dropped right off to sleep but every time he'd closed his eyes he'd only been able to see Abby's face as she told him it was nice to see him again. She'd looked completely calm and unaffected and it was driving him up a wall.
He quietly got out of bed and went into the living room of the apartment. He sank down onto his couch and sighed. How was it that Abby could still do this to him? The last time he'd had this much trouble sleeping was when she'd left to join Amnesty International.
Laying down he stared at the ceiling. Back then it seemed every time he closed his eyes he saw Abby's face. It had faded when he started to see Ava but now it was back full force.
You're married John. You have a baby on the way. He told himself.
It didn't help.
John closed his eyes and slowly drifted off. One of his last conscious thoughts was his own voice.
I mean it Deb. Abby Lockhart is not going to affect me at all.
So much for the best-laid plans.