Anna and Belle are two names given to the eating disorders Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa, respectively. I know a lot of people who struggle with one or both of these disorders are thinking, " oh great. another stupid site begging me to get the help that I really don't want." And I could try to scare you, I could try to make you listen to a long lecture of how you can die, and the complications of eating disorders. I think though I'd rather tell you that I know what you're going through. I know why you're doing this. And you might think "well yeah, what does she know." Honestly, I do know something, and that's because I've been through the hellish lifestyle of an eating disorder myself. I still have food rituals, I still struggle with temptation to purge.

I know getting help seems stupid right now. You may even think you don't have a problem, but, if you have that line of thinking, then you could end up dead. I know you know this. Struggling with Anna and/or Belle is tough. It is one of the most difficult things you can put yourself through.

One of the most upsetting things about how people see our struggle is that it is blamed on the media. The magazines we read, etc. However, I believe that not many people look beyond what is happening outside to how we feel. One specific example is a ballerina. Let's say you have a typical Ballet dancer; she's 5'8 and between 114 and 120 pounds. Let's say another dancer comes along and she's 5'5 and 130 pounds. Someone is going to look at her and say "you need to lose weight," while this could be the straw which breaks the camel's back; she's already having problems with her self-esteem.

The biggest problem in this case is that no one sees how she feels. She's been trapped. Locked in a world where perfectionism is the answer to all her problems. That if she can just be perfect enough (thin enough) and do everything right, all her problems will go away. I know this, because I was once that dancer. I was thin and pretty, but someone told me I wasn't thin enough. It breaks my heart to see others put themselves through the hellish lifestyle similar to mine.

Every person is different, so I can't speak for every person's eating disorder. I can tell you that food rituals, excessive exercise, binging, taking laxatives, fasting, throwing up, and being sick all the time isn't worth the effort. Because someday, you'll have to confront Anna, some day you'll have to dismiss Belle, and confront the real problems at hand. Or you could die.