by LARDLAD (ANTHONY E. TAYLOR)
*****An Excerpt from Lardlad's Diary*****
June 23, 3007
Hi! It's been over two months since my last entry, but SO much has happened! First and foremost, the LMB has reformed! And together we've defeated Time Mouse Trapper once and for all! It's really quite wonderful to be with all my old friends again. Right now, we're refurbishing the old HQ and reestablishing our interplanetary ties with law enforcement. Helen and the twins remain in GusCrek, though. I go home every weekend, but it's hard to be away. I'm still trying to convince her to relocate to Earth. We'll see...
One thing bothers me, though, from one of the stops during our re-formation. When we went to pick up Shady at the Shadowplay in Candlelight Lounge, Lash and I ran into Pru, a.k.a. Hummer Lass. It had been so long since I'd seen Pru, and I was totally unprepared when I did. I found out she is selling her special "services" there. And I've been unable to think of little else during those quiet moments when I'm not working to rebuild the LMB.
I know what you're thinking, diary. You're thinking, "Lard, it's not HER you can't get off your mind, but what she's done to you in the past and what she can STILL do for you!" No, diary. Believe it or not, I have real feelings for Pru. I feel sorry for her, and I care about her. It bothered me that she's still doing the same thing she did all those years ago. I always thought she'd eventually move beyond that and finally become her own person. But she hasn't.
I remember when I first really began to empathise with Pru. It was the one-and-only time we'd ever captured her. We kept her in the LMB holding cell while she awaited extradition to Planetary Court for her crimes. I visited her, and with that energy shield separating us, we had no choice but to talk for a change. She seemed so lonely and afraid and helpless. I tried to tell her that everything would be alright, and she started crying. I turned off the shield, went in the cell and held her. She cried on my shoulder and started pouring out her life story. Some parts were so painful that she couldn't bear to tell me. I was deeply touched and shed a few tears myself. Finally, I told her that she was free to go. I implored her to use this new lease on life to better herself. She told me she would and thanked me profusely. After one final embrace, she left.
That was the last time I saw her before a couple of months ago. I took a lot of heat for letting her go. This happened shortly before White Twilight and helped to seal my departure from the LMB at that event's conclusion. I read the news omnicoms regularly and saw no mention of Pru at all. I thought that was proof she had taken my advice until I saw her recently.
It was such a bizarre experience! She behaved even more vampy than she had in our earliest meetings. She "Lardy-Baby"-ed me to death, made references to my size down there and psyched me out. What was more bizarre was how I reacted just like I did when I was younger. I lusted over her and had to force myself not to submit to her advances. If Lash wasn't there, I might very well have done so!
That has made me feel so guilty. I am after all extremely happily married to my wonderful Helen. And I have my two wonderful boys. I feel guilty even writing about this!
But I have to pursue this further. There was something I can't quite put my finger on that bothers me about this. Beyond my disappointment that she didn't change. Beyond my guilt over my lustful thoughts. Something was just not right about Pru, and I have to find out what it was. Out of respect for what was honest and pure that Pru and I shared in that cell, I have to help her. Maybe I'm totally wrong, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't make sure.
Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to the one person who may be able to provide some insight into what Pru's been up to: Shady. Wish me luck, diary. I'm gonna need it!
*****End Diary Excerpt*****
End Prologue