posted March 12, 2001 08:48 AM ��� � �� ��

The individual origin stories are written by the LMBP�ers themselves and have been lifted almost word for word from the secret origins and powers Thread. All I have done is to add some linking material and some little tweaks in the stories. for example with Shady I have added a physical manifestation of her powers, based purely on her name, in order to make them a little more visual.

I have tried to put some �Easter eggs� regarding the �real� legion in place as well as a couple of references to modern, i.e.21st century, foibles.

Given Deans enthusiasm for a comic to go with the story perhaps the best way to visualise this for three different artists to draw the three different individual origins. A fourth could draw the linking sessions and we could have a montage cover featuring the work of all artists.

Anyway Hope you enjoy

THE TRUE, NOT SO SECRET, ORIGIN OF THE LMB

LOCATION -- Space Port Departures. Planet Swan-Weisenberger III

�What am I doing here� puffed Anthony Taylor as he hurried through a crowd of passengers towards the embarkation point.

�Please report to gate 12c for immediate boarding� insisted the auto ticket in a shrill voice over and over again whilst its illuminated screen showed an arrow pointing in the direction he needed to go.

�Shut up you damn machine�, hissed Anthony, �I�m going as fast as I can its not my fault that expressway was closed for repairs�

�Flight KLM2376 is awaiting passenger Taylor, please .......� Intoned the ticket.

�I know, �report to gate 12c immediately�� said Anthony as he huffed and puffed with the exertion of running along the departure corridor.

�Here� he said with some relief as he arrived at the boarding gate, �take this damn ticket its been squarking at me ever since I arrived at the spaceport�. And he thrust the ticket, non too gently, into the auto receptionists validation slot.

�Late arrival confirmed as Anthony Taylor, destination Earth, economy class. Passenger Taylor please be advised that due to late arrival we are unable to offer you your seat preference. Please enter KLM liner William of Orange and proceed to seat aa3" droned the mechanical robot voice.

�Oh great�, thought Anthony resigned to the fact that you can�t argue with a droid, �now I�ve got to sit next to some boring jerk for the next 20 hours. Damn machines. Damn expressway and damn me for going. Still I hear Earth still has a culture of human service rather than our auto droids. Man I hope so, I�ve given up trying to explain to our robots that I want the extra large happy meal but with three large shakes rather than the menu option of a �diet�� he shuddered, �cola or gingolds.�

As Anthony struggled up the aisle of the space liner he felt the eyes of the passengers turn to stare at the man who had delayed their flight. Flushing red slightly, �its from the exertion, I�m not embarrassed� he told himself, Anthony found seat aa3. Reaching up to place his hand luggage in the overhead locker, the bag split open. Out rolled cans of classic gingolds, mountains of sandwiches, pastries, cakes and, his particular favourites, jam filled rolled and sugar coated pancakes.

�Oh FRACK it� Anthony exploded.

�Here let me help� said a warm friendly female voice. �You look like you have had one heck of a harassing day�

Turning swiftly, his hand reaching for that can of high calory triple strength peanut butter, Anthony found he had instead caught hold of the hand of an attractive woman who was kneeling in the aisle gathering up his food stores. She looked up at him and smiled.

�My name is Candace�, she said, �I�ll be sitting across the aisle from you. You look like you could do with a sit down and a rest�

Umm, yes thanks. My names Anthony by the way, thanks for helping�

�Its ok� and with that she stood up, gently removed her hand which Anthony had still been holding on to and sat back down in her seat.

Quickly now Anthony gathered the rest of his belongings, held onto a gingolds and a couple of cake bars and then squeezed his, rather large, frame into his seat.

�Sorry� he said with an half apologetic smile, �I swear these seats get smaller each year�

�Yeah, I think they do�, said the man next to him as he moved along slightly to allow Anthony some extra room.

�Look� said Anthony, �about all this food, there is a reason I need to eat like this�

�Oh yeah� said the passenger, raising one eyebrow in a slightly quizzical way, and looking at Anthony�s portly figure. �You don�t have to explain to me�

�No I mean it�, said Anthony who could feel his cheeks reddening again. He sneaked a glance at Candace who, although deep in conversation with the man next to her, looked over and smiled, somehow calming him down. Later he would claim, though he couldn�t explain how, that she was giving him silent encouragement to carry on speaking to the man in the seat next to him.

�There is a story behind this, it�s not what it seems, would you like me to tell you?� Said Anthony. Getting the words out quickly all in a rush before his nerve gave out

�Well�, said the man next to him, �it�s a long journey. Tell you what, how about we swap stories eh, it might help to pass the time away.

THE SECRET ORIGIN AND POWERS OF LARDLAD

You wouldn�t believe it to look at me now but once, not so very long ago, I was as thin as bones. I was working at a part-time job at "Grocery Store Tesseract 69" managing some 350 auto despatch droids whilst completing my studies at Schaffenberger University.

The job wasn�t that tasking and one night I was walking down aisle 30,002 when a freak mishap with the tesseract energy supply caused some of the overhead lighting units to short out. A bolt of tesseract lightening struck a lard display next to where I standing. The electrified lard splashed all me. When I came to, not only was I not hurt but I was no longer a 90-pound weakling. Instead I was a 300-pound, big-boned fat boy! Now I know I had always wanted to put on a little weight, but this was too much. I was distraught, and ran from the aisle crying. Two aisles down, I was exhausted. Boy, was I out of shape! Suddenly, I felt a, a hunger I guess you would call it, yes a hunger within me, which was reaching out to the food items on the shelf. That hunger somehow absorbed all the fat from the items on the shelves and restored my energy levels.
That night, not knowing what to do, I just went home and raided the refrigerator.
A few hours, and one empty fridge later, there was a knock at the door. When I answered it I saw a man even more portly than myself! He introduced himself as Dom Deluise XXVII, guru of Lard. He said he sensed a disturbance in the Lardforce and realized another had been chosen. The guru explained that the Lardforce is an energy field that permeates all matter in the universe. Access to this energy field gives the wielder great power. The most frequently used application of which is the ability to teleport through lardotropic inversion. All of my powers feed off the lard in my body. When I teleport great distances, I must immediately replenish my reserves of lard or risk death. I can do this by psychically absorbing the lard out of foods or persons nearby. I have also found that as well as leaching lard from others I can "lend" some of my own lard to others for various reasons. Psychically adding lard to my own mass can also give me a degree of invulnerability. I have also been known to puff myself up to mimic the powers of that Legionnaire, you know Bouncing Boy.
According to my master, The Lard Knights feel I may well be one of the most powerful Lard Knights in history. The Master started training me in the use of my powers and christened me "Lardlad", but recently he has vanished. At the same time all my contacts with the Knights Temple were also ended. No notice, no explanation, nothing. I�m worried something may have happened to them so I am on my way to Earth to see if I can find out what has happened.
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�Well that is a mighty interesting tale� said the passenger, �makes you think don�t it�

�You know� said Anthony �you said you would tell me your story, but I don�t even know your name�

�That easy to remedy�, said the man �the names Michael, call me Michael emmm yes! Michael Lash.

�Its strange�, continued Michael �Your off to Earth on a quest to find out what happened to the Lard Knights. I guess you could say I�m going to Earth for a reason too. Have you heard of STAR labs? Well I�ve an appointment with Dr Morlo, of the Daystom Institute� looking at Anthony�s blank expression Michael continued, �the press call the institute the �Human Curiosities Ward��

�But you are........�

�Normal!!, yes but what is normal� said Michael. �According to the people of my home planet I am a �curiosity� and they are sending me to STAR labs for testing�. As he spoke Michael looked angrily down at his hands. Anthony followed his gaze and gave an involuntary gasp, as the skin on Michael�s fingers split open and small whip like tendrils flicked out and back again. Anthony rubbed his eyes and looked again, the hands looked normal, no sign of the openings or of any scars.

�What happened? Is, is that why you are going to STAR Labs?� asked Anthony

Michael nodded, �Although there are some gaps, as far as I can gather my story is ...............

THE SECRET ORIGIN AND POWERS OF MLLASH

�My earliest memories are of me attending school as a 13 year old. Funny, but no matter how hard I try I can not remember anything earlier than that. At age 15 I moved to Xynthia and started a new school. For a while things were OK at school. I was a bit of a loner but was able to hang around with a few friends. The main reason I think I was tolerated was my skill at any game involving targets. I helped my friends win darts leagues, paint ball competitions and was used as a penalty shooter in moopsball.�

�It all started to go wrong just after my seventeenth birthday. I was walking home, alone, one night when I was jumped by a gang of boys. I recognized them as the darts team my team had just creamed. I started to fight back but, as there was four of them, I figgered I was in for a major beating. Then, well then IT happened. I�m still not sure about that first night my self. Suddenly everything became crystal clear, even though it was a dark night. My reflexes seemed to be twice as fast as them, I could hit them in exactly the right spot whilst their blows looked to me like they were coming in slow motion. Then, the real doozey happened. Your saw my hands back then?�
Anthony nodded, not wanting to say anything which would break the flow of the story.
�Well�, continued Michael, �during that fight that happened for the first time, after I was hit for a few times these whips or lashes flayed out, hitting my would be attackers. They took a few blows and then ran off into the night. After I had recovered my composure I too went home. I knew what had happened wasn�t normal and wanted some answers from my �parents��

�What I got destroyed my world. Turns out the couple who I thought were my parents were in fact Government operatives who had been allocated to protect and monitor me. It also turned out that I had been found in the wreckage of an alien space craft on Earth. Scattered all around me were maturation chambers, broken and the poor kids inside all dead, all except me. The Government put me through all sorts of tests but didn�t really have a clue what was going on. They then decided to simply watch me and see what had happened. I was already pretty much totally mind wiped due to my time in the chamber so it was fairly easy for them to eliminate my memories of the 6 months spent in a Government Lab. Then a new life. First on Abnett IV then onto Xynthia. My �parents� were, considering everything, good people and my life with them has been happy enough. They had always encouraged me to be myself and do my best. Indeed they actually offered to cover up for me and just wanted me to live as normal a life as possible with them. They had, it turns out been submitting false reports for years. I might have taken them up on it but one of the lads in that fight was the son of a local SP and reported me. He checked with SP headquarters who in turn alerted the relevant department. End result, my folks have been lucky to avoid time in the holding tanks on Takron Galtos II, as it is they were out of a job and had no credits other than a few handouts. I have agreed to comply with a Council order to attend STAR labs in return for a pension for my parents. My special abilities seem to be some form of super vision which helps me see my targets. I can also unerringly hit any target I choose with any thing or weapon I choose. For close combat I prefer to use non lethal weapons such as whips. And you have seen my final weapon, these strange hands.
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�Excuse me boys� said a woman�s voice. Looking up Anthony saw Candace standing in the aisle. �Did either one of you drop this?� Holding out a jumbo sized bar of choco covered peanut brittle.

�Emph bwammff splutter� said Anthony trying to speak and swallow his third hostess cup cake at the same time. �I mean yes thank you its mine�

�Perhaps you should share with your new friend. It looks like you boys are getting on just fine.� She said as an attractive smile played across her lips and her eyes twinkled with mischievous delight. �You know, you are both going to Earth and may be there for some time, why don�t you keep in touch with each other. Earth can be a big cold lonely place and its always nice to have someone on the end of the omnicom should you need him� and with that Candace turned and sat back down turning away to rejoin her conversation with the man sitting next to her.

�Now how did she know all that� asked Anthony. Then�choco bar, LashLad�?

�No thanks� said Michael, but lets see what I can find out� Michael pulled the liners infoXbox down from its holder in the seat. Before he could do much more than pull out the voice interface and stylo pen a couple of, very human Anthony was pleased to see, stewards started to walk down the gangways. At the same time the seat holovid came to life and a steward started to warn that the liner was about to enter Asimov Space via a Brande Industries Mark IV stargate. Anthony found himself half listening to the voice explaining what would happen on entry to the Stargate whilst watching the rear end of the very attractive stewardess bent over a couple in front of him helping them prepare for �A Space�. With a smile he noticed Michael giving the male steward an equally appreciative �once over�

Then the lights came on and the view ports closed, a faint humming noise indicated that they had passed through the gate and were traversing �A Space�. Anthony�s stomach felt like it was doing somersaults. �And that�s not a pretty sight� he joked to himself as his excitement grew. In a few short hours he would be on Earth and he would be able to find out just what had happened to the Lard Knights.
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It was nearly time to disembark. Anthony was glad. Even though he had eaten all of his own supplies, his in flight meal and parts of Michaels and Candace�s meals he had still gone too long without replenishing his Lard stocks. First thing he needed to do once he got into the spaceport was find something to eat.
�I hope Candace doesn�t hear my stomach grumbling and think I am gross� he thought.

�GOT IT YAAYYY!!� Shouted Michael. �Oops sorry� he said in a lower tone�

�What�s that Michael?� Asked Anthony.

�I�ve used this infoXbox to hack into the liners passenger manifest and guess who is slumming with us in economy class�

�Well come on tell me what you found�said Anthony interested in spite of his natural reluctance to get involved in any thing as illegal as net hacking company records.

�Well it appears that the guy sitting next to Candace there is non other than Engine Joe Brande.�

�Don�t be silly� said Anthony, �he�s one of the richest men in the United Planets, why would he be in economy with us plebs?�

�Well the manifest don�t lie. Retinal and Blood DNA tests taken when he boarded match the SP database, it�s him all right�

�Oh well� said Anthony, �perhaps he�s just eccentric and likes slumming occasionally�

�Yeah, well� said Michael smiling �looks like you cant compete with the big bucks for Candace eh�

�That�s.... I mean I never, I didn�t..........did I? Nah,� spluttered Anthony, �She was just being friendly, .....wasn�t she?�

�Yeah whatever bub!� Joked Michael. �Looks like we are ready to disembark. Look, what Candace said, you know about keeping in touch, well, I know your busy n all but I�d like that if you could spare a few moments�

�Lash, sorry Michael,� smiled Anthony �I�d like that very much, I�ll try to call in to STAR labs when I can, but I�ll definitely �e� you
------------------------------

As the liner let its passengers out into Metropolis spaceport, a sudden scream pierced the noise and hubbub of the busy disembarkation area. Turning from his place near the baggage reclaim area Anthony saw Candace and Engine Joe next to a old style �e� media booth. Using the lard force he instantly teleported himself to their side. Arriving just in time to hear Candace shout, �there, those three are trying to kill Engine Joe�

Following her finger he saw three women advancing on them with blasters in their hands.

�Skalarians� he thought as he used the lard force to immobilise one of the attackers. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Michael using his whip lash hands to immobilise one of the other attackers. But to his horror he saw the third raise her blaster.
�Too slow� he thought as he tried to summon the Lardforce to attack this assassin as well. Anthony closed his eyes as he saw the blaster begin to fire. �I�m gonna die�, he thought, �will I feel it? Will it hurt?,What will death be like? Is Engine Joe and the others going to be all right? I don�t mind as long as they survive�

After a few seconds he realised that he was still very much alive, opening his eyes he saw that the four of them, Engine Joe, Michael, Candace and himself were standing in the centre of a black hemispheric shield. He felt safe, warm and contented. Later when asked to describe it the closest he could get was to say it felt like when you are a little kid and, after a nightmare, you get into bed between your parents and, snuggled in by your mum and dad, drift back off to sleep.

�Quick� said Candace, �my shadow powers have protected you but we must ensure that the attackers are caught� the black hemisphere dissolved, and the noise of the panicking spaceport came rushing back in. Raising her hands Candace brought a small ball of light into existence. Throwing it into the air the light hovered for a moment before splitting into three and rushing off to end up hovering above three people in the crowd.
�Officers� shouted Candace to the squad of SP�s who had entered the building �the lights will show you the assassins, they are trying to hide using distorter�s
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Two days later the three had met again at the offices of Engine Joe.

�Candace� asked Anthony, �I never got a chance, what with all the police and media interest and all, but how did you do that at the space port. Those powers you used they made me feel , well you know. But how did you get those powers?�

�Well� said Candace �let me see........� Her eyes focussed on somewhere faraway and her voice took on a sing song quality as she half sang, half chanted in a soft musical tone than filled the listeners with a sense of peace and contentment as they listened to;

THE SECRET ORIGIN OF SHADOWPLAY IN CANDLELIGHT

�Once-upon-a-time,
a long time ago (well, not THAT long ago),
there was a little girl
whose mom didn't think it was proper to name a baby Candy
but thought it made a good nickname for Candace,
so Candace, she became.
'Mom' wanted a frilly daughter with pipe curls and ribbons,
who played with dolls and was sweet as Candycanes.
Much to her chagrin, she got a changeling child,
an opinionated little tomboy URCHIN who loved animals and art but HATED dresses and dolls!
'Mom' felt utterly betrayed by the Doctor Fairy
who had promised that THIS child would be everything the woman had struggled for and dreamed of.
Totally unable to deal with the changeling,the woman withdrew inside herself,
only coming 'out' to cook and clean
and mumble secret wards & spells.
Candy felt abandoned but being the changeling she was,
liked being alone, tramping in the forests and marshes,
in communion with the animals and fairy tale worlds of her imagination.
In this mode, she grew to be a woman with a wistful and far away look in her eyes.
On a gentle, spring morning,
our changeling,
tired after MANY travels and adventures,
both real & imagined,
sat quietly on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean.
A narwhale was feeding in the little bay below her
and the gulls drifted overhead in the breezes.
After a time, the morning light lengthened to afternoon warmth and a shadow fell across Candace's (as she now called herself) face and she looked up.
Above her, floating in a nest of golden bubbles
lay a Sea Otter with 2 babies resting on her tummy.
The nest slowly descended to just below eye level
so that the Otter could lean her head back over the edge of bubbles
and look up at Candace without having to change position or disturb her sleeping young.
"I'm your 'Spirit Guide', dear," said the Otter, "it's time for you to choose."
"Um, choose what, exactly?" asked Candace.
"Whether you shall be a Lady of Shadow or a Lady of Light," replied the Otter in a whispering wave of a Voice.
"I don't understand," Candace said.
"In the Universe, on the one side, there are the Lords and Ladies of Chaos, the Unpredictables.
On the other side are the Majesties of Order, the Laws."
Candace was silent, thinking on these words.
"You are a changeling, thus you have power, thus you must CHOOSE."
The babies began to 'fuss-el' so the Sea Otter rearranged herself and them so that the infants could nurse.
Candace watched this 'production' and when the babies quieted so that only their soft suckling and the waves could be heard, she asked a question.
"May I choose a third path?"
The Otter looked startled and grew very still.
"What would you choose?" she asked.
"I would choose to be the bridge between the two,then perhaps, both ways could flourish.
There could be endless diversity and surprise
based in clear possibilities and purpose."
The Spirit Otter smiled, her long trailing whiskers brushing Candace's cheeks, making her smile, too.
Soon, the air began to dance with more and more sparkling bubbles.
Mounds of bubbles that filled the cliff and flowed down to the little bay
until the narwhale paused in it's eating of krill
to joust with the cascading bubbles of light
that burst with 'giggles' and 'whoops'
whenever his magical horn touched them.
"So be it," purred the Spirit Otter, "A Lady of Balance, of the Compassionate, shall you be."
The golden bubbles formed a glowing nest around Candace,
lifting her into the salty winds,
which carried her to the enchanted Land of Internet
and to the exciting Kingdom of the Legion boards
(greatest Champions of Balance!)
As the bubbles gently set her down in this longed for kingdom,
the Sea Otter's voice drifted through the threads,
"Thence-forth, shall you be known as
Shadowplay in Candlelight, Lady and friend."�

With a smile and a shake of her long hair, Candace stopped singing.
�So here I am� she said. �I usually try to see most of the sides of any issue and have a special power to clarify and/or bring compromise or humour or huggies to the debate and as I�m sure you noticed on the liner Anthony, I love flirting. I want to let people know how wonderful and unique they are. If I can help by offering words of encouragement or advice (whether it's wanted or not) I will. I also have the ability to tap into the warmth of shadows, to protect and nurture. I can bring the light of clear reason to an issue, hence those distorter�s couldn�t deceive me. Oh and I like to laugh a lot and I think your guys will make me laugh�

�What do you mean�, asked Michael, �what�s going on. Why have STAR told me to come here?�

�You�ll see my boy. You�ll see� said the voice of Engine Joe behind them. �Come in I want to ask you three to do something for me�...............................................................................

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And so the Legion of Message Board Posters was born. Impressed by the way the three strangers had overcome cultural differences to work together regardless of which planet they came from Engine Joe had asked them to form a group which would to keep alive the memory of the Legionnaires Message Board. The group would become a haven for fans of the Legion of Super Heroes but perhaps more importantly it was a group that wanted to embrace fun in all its forms.

The LMBP has since grown from the original three, as many like minded people have joined its ranks. It has had many adventures and, on more than one occasion saved the entire Galaxy. Yet its achievements and exploits are often overshadowed by the more famous Legion of Super Heroes. The LMBP wouldn�t have it any other way. They have fun, get drunk and occasionally fight injustice. Let the glory hounds of the LSH get all the plaudits they want, we know our true worth. Yes we, for I too am proud to be a member of this group.
Yet it is true that at the core of the team remain the three founders. Their friendships as strong as ever. Their mutual respect obvious to all who see them. They have remained true to Engine Joes vision of an open and inclusive organization open to all sentients from all over the Galaxy. A group of people who want to oppose tyranny, oppression and intolerance

ME? I am a �Johnny come lately� I found the LMBP after they had already achieved iconic status on the message boards. They took me to their hearts, (and to their pubs and strip joints but that�s another story ) In return I wanted to ensure that the true history of the founding of the LMBP was never forgotten. I will now seal this history together with the others records of many battles won and lost into this inertron archive capsule and launch it into a deep space long orbit. When it returns in a thousand years from now we will all be dust, but I hope that the people of the future, when they find this record will once again thrill and laugh to the ADVENTURES OF THE LEGION OF MESSAGE BOARD POSTERS.

Faraway Lad
Historian of the LMBP.
--------------------------------

�What�s that guys?, Loser has got the naked mud wrestling started??? Beagles giving the left overs to piddlin pup and Dev�s drinking all the silver ale?????

Man am I in the wrong place again! It seems I�m too faraway to hear the dinner gong and how come no one told me about the mud wrestling??. I bet Loser and Lardy have got the best seats again.

Mummmble grumble grumble, youngsters today, no respect at all. Mummble grumble.........

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It's time to ditch the dim wits and dump the dunce.