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Constructing My Identities

 

Identity & Modes of Belonging

Identity is not a word that should exist in the singular form, because one never has a single identity. Rather, one is a synthesis of various identities. A particular combination of identities is forged to meet the demands of each new situation, but there is no one base identity. Identities are acquisitions; they are the ways in which we come to understand who we are in relation to others and our environment. Identities are formed by our attempts, successes, and failures at belonging to specific groups.

Etienne Wenger in his book Communities of Practice: Learning, Meaning and Identity says that there are three modes of belonging involved in identity formation: engagement (active involvement), imagination (creation of new images of the world and ourselves), and alignment (connectedness through coordination). In an effort to articulate my own identities, I have altered Wenger's terminology to reflect what I think of as my processes of belonging. The terms I have chosen are collecting, connecting, and creating. These are processes that I believe take place at the level of the body, the mind, and the soul.

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Collecting

For me, collecting is the process by which I gather information, experiences, and people. I engage with people, nature, things and, as a result, I acquire resources with which to build an identity.

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Favorite Ways of Collecting with the Body, Mind, and Soul

Body
Try new things and notice how each makes me aware of being in the body.

Foods: I love to try new foods. I'm especially fond of spicy foods. Favorite types of foods include Indian, Thai, Korean, and Japanese. Favorite foods in general include good French bread, Piave cheese, olives, gourmet dark chocolate mixed with flavors like lavender or orange, tomatoes, watermelon, avocadoes, cucumbers, garlic, pasta, and the staple combination of chips and salsa.

Drinks: I consider water to be the best beverage in the world, but I've developed an appreciation for wine (I know nothing about what makes something a good wine.) I seem to like wines that are dry and I think wine and chocolate is an amazing combination. Other drinks I enjoy include: chai latte; coffee with hazelnut syrup, hot chocolate, and milk; champagne; bloody marys; and occasionally a good beer (usually Mexican).

Exercise: I like to run, swim, walk, lift weights, and play sports like basketball. I find it hard to stick with a particular exercise program consistently, but I love the way my body feels when I challenge it to do something new or to do something hard.

Remedies & Body Encounters: I'm intrigued by alternative medicine and natural remedies so I 'collect' experiences with them by trying out different practices. I've tried massage, chiropractic treatment, fasting, acupuncture, yoga, meditation, Reiki, and so on.

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Mind
Expose myself to as many different ways of thinking and expressing as possible.

Books: I love to read and have been an avid reader since I was a child. I seldom deny myself a book or the pleasure of reading. Favorite types of books include: books on spirituality; books on finding yourself; books on alternative healing; autobiographies; memoirs; and novels that take you into the depths of yourself through their characters.

Music: I have an eclectic taste in music and, as with books, I seldom deny myself a CD or the pleasure of listening to music. I listen to all types of music from easy listening (Sinatra) to folk to country to jazz to R&B to Rap to Hip Hop to Rock and Roll to Gospel to Tibetan chants. I love the stories people tell with their music, which speaks to me in the same way that books do.

Art: I enjoy seeing how others express their creativity through art. I'm drawn to art that is multimedia and that uses things we don't generally think of as related to art like pieces of scrap metal. For me, art is everything from a small purse made up of folded and interwoven potato chip bags to a traditional painting. I 'collect' art that speaks to me about the interaction of the artist, the subject, and the context.

Academia (at its best): Being around people who are interested in learning in an environment that facilitates interaction and collaboration is both exciting and comforting to me. I want to learn, I want to know how people think, I want them to share with me what they know.

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Soul

Have as many meaningful encounters as possible with other souls and contexts that speak to the soul.

Teaching: My mother, who is a teacher, says that "I teach from the soul." Other people have said similar things. I think what they mean is that teaching is the passionate love of my soul. For me, teaching is a wonderful avenue for meeting up with soul experiences and having contact with other souls. I can't think of anyother profession that allows the magnitude of privileged contact with other souls that teaching does.

Engaging with Others on Matters of Deep Personal Importance: Basically, I like to talk to others and hear about what really matters to them. I like being part of groups dedicated to helping each other love ourselves and one another better. I've recently found that I also like sitting in silence with others and feeling in the silence what matters to them.

Soul Practices: As with alternative medicine and remedies, I am intrigued by 'alternative' spiritual practices and enjoy trying out new ways of experiencing the soul. I've tried things like Native American sweats, guided meditation, White Tantric yoga, Kundalini Yoga, and things of that sort. I enjoy reading and hearing about the soul practices of others and am willing to try many of them out at least once.

Noticing Contexts or Awareness: This is a new way of 'collecting' for me. I'm noticing what places, what moments, and what elements open up my soul. I'm paying attention to how my soul responds to sunrises, sunsets, wind, sounds, and the way certain patches of earth feel.

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Connecting

To me, connecting is the result of being able to imagine how all of the experiences we collect affect and co-join with one another. I make connections by, first, believing that everything is interrelated and, second, reflecting on my collected experiences constantly in an attempt to discover those connections.

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Favorite Ways of Connecting
Body, Mind, and Soul

Running, Sleeping, Writing, Doing Nothing, Sharing, Reading

Obviously, when it comes to establishing connections, it doesn´t make sense to separate the body, mind, and soul as the process of imagination erases whatever boundaries we might otherwise think exist between them. It is through connecting that we realize that what we imagine to be distinct parts of us-body, mind, and soul-are really one.

I love to get 'high' on connection--meaning that I love the deep sense of feeling that happens when things become integrated or connected for me. This can happen in all kinds of ways for me so I'll just describe some of the ones that I notice most often.

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Running + Thought + Spirit
People talk about the 'high' you can get through exercise and attribute it to the release of endorphins and I'm sure this is in part true. I've noticed there are moments during or right after some runs when I just have this sense of peace, calm, certainty, and contentment. It's not the same as the feeling of satisfaction that you get just for having gone on a run, it's something more. Usually, these 'high' moments are the result of a connection that was realized while I was running. It's as if running frees my body, mind, and soul and allows what each of them knows to seep into one another providing me with new understandings of and perspectives on my experiences of living.

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Sleeping + Thought + Spirit
I love sleeping and definitely think that it is something that can count as a favorite pastime. However, not all sleep is equal. The sleep that gets me 'high' on connection is the kind where my body relaxes its need to maintain its hold on this world and allows my mind and soul to join with it in releasing 'reality.' There are some dreams that I know are more than dreams, there are messages that come to me in sleep, and there are times when I wake up feeling that I've understood something important, something that changes me.

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Writing + Thought + Spirit
I write for many reasons, but one of the reasons is that I know that writing helps me make connections. I write to understand, to make sense of things for myself. The physical act of writing and seeing in front of me what I've collected experientially somehow allows my mind and soul to put it all together. It's like taking all of the puzzle pieces out of box and turning them over so that they are all visible. I have to see all of the pieces before I can start putting the puzzle together. Almost all of the writing that I do on a personal or professional level feels very much like putting together a very difficult puzzle. The 'high' of connecting is when I find myself being able to integrate all of me in something that I write-to capture some understanding in just the 'right' way.

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Sharing + Thought + Spirit
Sharing time, space, conversation, food, feelings, or touch with others (human, animal, or plant) often leads to a synthesis of body, mind, and soul that I find incredibly healing and relaxing. Sometimes in the process of sharing, I realize that what is being shared on the surface is not all there is, that there is a deeper connection and that this connection is profound in the sense that it has produced something new through a reconfiguration of collected and collective experiences.

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Doing nothing + Thought + Spirit
Martha Beck in her book The Joy Diet proposes 'doing nothing' for a period of time everyday as the first step towards joy. I don't find that 'doing nothing' always leads me to a connection 'high' but it certainly can. Sometimes, I just like to sit and do nothing. I may sit in silence or have music on, be alone or with others, notice a color or notice nothing, watch my pets or close my eyes. The 'high' comes when in the course of doing nothing, I realize that I've allowed myself to transcend time and space and simply merge. For a moment, I just am. I can't always or even usually articulate what it is that I understand in these fleeting moments, but they definitely feel like moments of connection.

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Reading + Thought + Spirit
I mentioned reading as one of my favorite ways to collect, but it's also a source of connection for me. Reading a good book is a body, mind, soul experience that can be very unifying. I'm like a sponge that is already wet with the experiences of my own body, mind, and soul and reading plunges me into new water where I begin to absorb the experiences of others and connect them with my own. To me, a truly good book is one that takes me out of myself, helps me make new connections while I'm out of myself, and returns me to myself altered by my new understandings.

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Creating

For me, creating is what happens when I arrive at an inner alignment of collection and connection. This inner alignment generally wants to manifest itself as a creation that I can put out in the world. I think my urge to share my creations with others is really about the desire to belong-a way to see with whom I share an outward alignment. My creations are, thus, the end and the beginning of the same process. They give life to my realizations of one moment and become part of the data that forms my collection for future realizations.

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Favorite Ways of Creating
Body, Mind, and Soul

Challenging Myself, Reaching Out, Looking Back, Redesigning


Again, as with connecting, it becomes impossible to truly differentiate creations as proceeding from only the body, only the mind, or only the soul. These three completely transform the illusion of separateness in the process of creation.

I create for two purposes: to demonstrate who I am and to discover who I am. I begin creating something, be it a statement, a painting, or a lesson plan, from a moment of alignment in which I believe myself to 'know' something that I can share. As I create, I discover that what I 'know' changes, becomes something else so that the identity with which I began a creation is altered by the time I finish it, even when the span of time is literally seconds. Its reception by others, of course, alters me even more as I determine how much I value the alignment or misalignment in which my creation has placed me with relation to them.

Creating for me is quite simply trying new things or doing old things in new ways. Either way is a synthesis of the experiences I've collected and connected and, in my opinion, both ways are essentially the same.

When I say 'trying new things,' it encompasses more than just activities; it also means trying new ways of being in the world. Creating is the process and product of living with an awareness that each moment represents an opportunity for changing yourself and, thus, the world. I'll describe a few of the ways that I enjoy creating new versions of me.

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Challenging myself
I create by asking myself to do things that I've never done before. For example, I like (on occasion) to challenge myself to make a dish that seems impossible for me. I also like to challenge myself to do things like run a half-marathon (which seemed impossible but wasn't). I challenge myself by trying to break habits or ways of being that don't seem to serve me. I challenge myself by going places (even living places) where I am unknown and not part of a 'normal' group that is found there. I challenge myself to learn new things that seem unmanageable like using Dreamweaver to make this page.

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Reaching Out
I create by reaching out of myself to connect with others (which is often challenging). I reach out by talking to people that I don't know (even though I am very shy). I reach out by telling others who I am and what I feel as truthfully as possible. I reach out by trying to make lasting friendships with those with whom I feel a special bond. I reach out by writing and sharing what I write with others. I reach out by teaching, believing that as I teach, all involved are collaboratively creating something new.

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Looking Back
I create by looking back at the identities I've had and salvaging the parts of those that may still serve me. I remember the ways that I have created throughout my life and try them out anew. For example, as a child, I liked to paint and draw. I revisit my child self and try out these ways of creating with who I am now. I reflect on who I have been by talking with family, friends, reading journals, and find parts of me that I had forgotten. I 'try out' these new-old ways of being in my present context.

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Redesigning
Redesigning, possibly my favorite way of creating, is creating something more, something new, from a something that already was. I do this most often in the areas of teaching and being. I constantly create by redesigning in my teaching. I change lesson plans from one class to the next (even if they are back to back), I teach things differently each time that I teach it despite the fact that the way I did it before may have worked just fine, and I almost never use things like textbooks in the form that they are given to me. I love to create through modification. I'm also constantly in the creative process of redesigning me-not the outer me-the inner me. I create from a base of who I am in this moment and how I responded to X situation. From that base, I evaluate and modify who I am in the next moment, in Y situation. Creation is, after all, simply a matter of taking what is (the old) and fashioning it into something new that will in turn become what is.

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