While the Prophet Joseph Smith was a prisoner at Liberty Jail in Missouri, suffering and treated with contempt, he cried out, �O God, where art thou?� (D&C 121:1.)

In the still, quiet voice of the Spirit, the Lord replied: �My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

�And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.� (D&C 121:7-8.)

Events in our lives may not be as dramatic as those in the Prophet Joseph Smith�s life, but we may be called upon to endure trials in which we suffer and feel alone, hurt, or frustrated. At such times, we need to remember Mormon�s words: �Charity suffereth long, and is kind.� (Moro. 7:45; see also 1 Cor. 13:4.) Indeed, by patiently submitting to our trials out of love for our Father in Heaven, we grow and mature in the gospel. (See Mosiah 3:19.)

Part of that maturing process involves exercising kindness and long-suffering in our relationships with others. Countless women in the Church patiently care for ailing spouses, lovingly teach and nurture children day after day, or gently care for aging parents. All these women exemplify charity—as do women who consistently treat their families, friends, neighbors, and co-workers with kindness and respect.

�One who is kind is sympathetic and gentle with others,� President Ezra Taft Benson has said. �He is considerate of others� feelings and courteous in his behavior. He has a helpful nature. Kindness pardons others� weaknesses and faults [and] is extended to all—to the aged and the young, to animals, to those low of station as well as the high.� (Ensign, Nov. 1986, p. 47.)

We all have countless opportunities each day to endure and to perform acts of kindness that will make an eternal difference in our lives and in the lives of those around us. But, too often, we reserve our show of kindness for friends and neighbors and become impatient with those in our own homes. One woman found that whenever she dressed in nice clothes and made an extra effort to look her best, her family asked where she was going. She realized that she had been making more effort to look her best for friends and strangers than for her own family. She also wondered whether she had been as kind and patient with her family as she had been with those outside her home. She decided to begin to try to look and act her best with those who mattered most—her own family.

The Savior provides us with a perfect example of long-suffering and kindness. He was always kind to little children (see Mark 10:13-16), and even as he was being crucified, he showed concern for his mother: �Then he saith to the disciple, Behold thy mother!� (See John 19:26-27.)

During his earthly ministry, Jesus gave both spiritual and physical comfort to others—the masses as well as the one. He fed the five thousand, but he also felt the touch of the one hand on the hem of his garment when he was crowded about on every side, and healed the woman of her plague. (See John 6:5-14; Mark 5:25-34.)

Kindness is one of the most Christlike attributes we can develop. In striving to perfect ourselves, we will find that learning to love as the Savior loves is not possible without learning to be kind and long-suffering toward both the many and the one. (�Charity Suffereth Long, and Is Kind,� Ensign, Jan. 1988, 70)

As a young man, Joseph, the son of Jacob, had prophetic dreams that one day he would have power and position. Instead of rejoicing that their younger brother would be favored by the Lord, his brothers �envied him.� (Gen. 37:11.) So thoroughly did they envy him that �they conspired against [Joseph] to slay him.� (Gen. 37:18.)

The Lord turned this evil to great good in the lives of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph was sold into slavery instead of being killed, and in Egypt he rose to a position of power in which he could save his family from famine.

But the brothers� sin haunted them years later. When Joseph asked them to bring their youngest brother, Benjamin, to Egypt, they said to one another, �We are verily guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the anguish of his soul, when he besought us, and we would not hear; therefore is this distress come upon us.� (Gen. 42:21.) Joseph forgave them, and the family was reunited, but his brothers had nevertheless wasted many years in unnecessary anguish of soul and had lost opportunities for joy with their brother.

Compare these brothers� actions with those of the brother of another Joseph—the Prophet Joseph Smith�s brother Hyrum. As a young man, Joseph received visions. When he shared with his family the message he had received from the Lord, Hyrum accepted that message. He became a great strength to Joseph and a valiant servant of the Lord, serving alongside his brother, even dying with him at Carthage Jail. Of Hyrum, Joseph wrote: �Brother Hyrum, what a faithful heart you have got. Oh, may the eternal Jehovah crown eternal blessings upon your head, as a reward for the care you have had for my soul.� (The Personal Writings Of Joseph Smith, comp. Dean C. Jessee, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1984, p. 531.)

These two stories illustrate why �the Lord God hath commanded � that [we] should not envy.� (2 Ne. 26:32.) Every day we face situations in which we may feel envy or covet something another person possesses. We may envy another person�s home and comfortable financial situation, someone else�s talents and abilities, the Church position of another, or the happy family life of another. Such envy can canker our souls.

In recording the words of his father, Mormon, Moroni wrote that charity, the pure love of Christ, �envieth not.� (Moro. 7:45.) To be filled with this love, we must �pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart.� (Moro. 7:48.) If we find ourselves envying someone else�s talents, possessions, life-style, or accomplishments, we should first turn for help to our Father in Heaven. In his mercy, he will bless us with the ability to rise above the destructive pettiness of envy and to rejoice in his goodness to our brothers and sisters.

President Gordon B. Hinckley points out another way we can learn to overcome feelings of envy. �The happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others,� he says. (Ensign, Aug. 1982, p. 5.)

By serving others, we can learn to focus not on what we feel is lacking in our lives, but on the many blessings the Lord has given us.

By seeking the Spirit of the Lord, serving others, and recognizing the blessings the Lord has given us, we can overcome feelings of envy and rejoice in the Lord�s goodness to all of his children. (�Charity Envieth Not,� Ensign, Feb. 1988, 53)

To vaunt is to proudly call attention to our possessions, our accomplishments, our associations, or our righteousness. To illustrate this fault, the Savior told the parable of the Pharisee and the publican:

�The Pharisee stood [in the temple] and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.

�I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.

�And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.� (Luke 18:10-13.)

Jesus pointed out that it was not the Pharisee who was justified, but the publican, adding that �Every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.� (Luke 18:14.)

The Pharisee made two serious mistakes: he boasted about himself, and he put himself in God�s place as the judge of his righteousness. Only God can pronounce us righteous.

One of the most serious forms of �vaunting� is the sin of pride. �Pride is a �my will� rather than �thy will� approach to life,� says President Ezra Taft Benson. �The opposite of pride is humbleness, meekness, submissiveness (see Alma 13:28), or teachableness. � With pride, there are many curses. With humility, there come many blessings.� (Ensign, May 1986, pp. 6-7.)

We may vaunt ourselves in other ways. If we interrupt someone or whisper during a meeting, class, or performance, we may convey disrespect for what others are saying or doing. If we are late for an appointment, we may show that we consider our time or other activities more important.

We also vaunt ourselves if we take credit for what we haven�t earned. Some people blame God when things go badly in their lives and take the credit when things go well, overlooking the fact that their talents, skills, and possessions are gifts from the Lord.

The scriptures say that �in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things.� (D&C 59:21.) True humility comes when we acknowledge our dependence on him in every act—indeed, in every breath.

Such humility encourages us to follow the Savior�s example of love and service to others. President Spencer W. Kimball exemplified this philosophy. Just after he was sustained as President of the Church in April 1974, he attended a family dinner. Noticing a security guard in a parked car in front of the house, President Kimball filled a plate and took it out to the officer. (See Ensign, Mar. 1975, p. 6.) Despite his busy schedule, President Kimball did not consider himself too important to serve others; on the contrary, he saw his new position as an opportunity to serve.

As we learn to recognize the Lord�s love for us and our dependence on him, to feel gratitude for the blessings he gives us, and to focus on serving others, we will learn charity, which, the Apostle Paul said, �vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.� (1 Cor. 13:4; see also Moro. 7:45.) We will then want to do as Ammon did, when he said, �I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things.� (Alma 26:12.)

With that strength, we can do much to help accomplish the mission of the Church—to bring souls to Christ—through proclaiming the gospel, perfecting the Saints, and redeeming the dead. (�Charity Vaunteth Not Itself, Is Not Puffed Up� Ensign, Mar. 1988, 53)

"Follow me,� Jesus said, and Simon Peter and Andrew left their nets and followed him. (See Matt. 4:18-20.) Like these humble fishermen who became Christ�s disciples, we, too, seek to follow him. He performed miracles, exemplified perfection, and, through the Atonement and the Resurrection, made immortality and eternal life possible for us.

He has said, �If ye love me, keep my commandments� (John 14:15) and, �By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another� (John 13:35). How can we show our love for Jesus and for one another? How can we keep his commandments and set an example that will make others want to follow him?

We all have opportunities to proclaim the gospel by being good examples in our homes, at work, at school, and in our communities. One young woman�s patriarchal blessing said that wherever she traveled, people would judge the Church by her example. Since then, she has traveled a great deal—in a college performing group and in her subsequent employment. She has remembered that counsel and has had many opportunities to discuss the Church with nonmembers.

Another sister, a recent convert, was interested one Sunday when a sister in her ward spoke about dressing with the intention to someday go to the temple. �That sister�s counsel made a strong impression on me,� she says. �As I pondered it, I felt a determination to discover just how I should dress if I had been to the temple.� She later discarded her inappropriate clothing, and she made future purchases with Church standards in mind. Two years later, when she received her endowment, her wardrobe needed no overhauling; it was both modest and attractive.

Setting a positive example involves love and respect for others and a tolerance for their beliefs. A handbook used by lady missionaries states, �Etiquette and good manners are based on respect for people�s feelings, opinions, property, and time. Such respect shows that we are more concerned about others than ourselves.� (Ye Are the Light of the World, Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1984, pp. 77-78.) The way we treat others reflects both what we are and what we believe.

It is often easier to show respect and tolerance to acquaintances—or even strangers—than to those who are closest to us. When we are tired, ill, or under stress, do we still speak kindly to a disobedient child, a thoughtless spouse, or an angry roommate? The Apostle Peter counseled, �Be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another � be courteous.� (1 Pet. 3:8.)

Respect and tolerance go hand-in-hand with reverence for life itself. We should honor and respect all God�s children, as well as his creations. If we remember who we are and act accordingly, we can learn to have charity, which, the Apostle Paul said, �doth not behave itself unseemly� (see 1 Cor. 13:4-5), and which will enable us to love others as the Savior loves us.

�A beautiful, modest, gracious woman is creation�s masterpiece,� President David O. McKay said. �When a woman adds to these virtues, as guiding stars in her life, righteousness and godliness, and an irresistible impulse and desire to make others happy, no one will question if she be classed among those who are the truly great.� (Man May Know for Himself, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1969, p. 261.)[�Charity Doth Not Behave Itself Unseemly,� Ensign, Apr. 1988, 71]

When asked �Which is the great commandment in the law?� the Savior replied, �Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

�This is the first and great commandment.

�And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

�On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.� (Matt. 22:36-40.)

It can be a great challenge to love others, especially if they have hurt us. But the commandment is clear: As the scriptures teach, charity, the pure love of Christ, �seeketh not her own.� (Moro. 7:45.) If we are to come unto Christ and become like him, we must learn to truly love others.

Christl Fechter, a Czechoslovakian refugee, faced this challenge and, with the Lord�s help, overcame it. As a young woman, she was forced by political upheaval to leave her homeland for Germany. There she learned about the Church and was baptized in 1958. A year later, she moved to the United States, settling in Bountiful, Utah. While living in Utah, she was terribly hurt emotionally by someone and, for the first time in her life, felt hatred.

�I had been through all the terrors of the invasion of my country, but I had never before experienced the feeling of hate,� she says. �It changed my personality. Even my nonmember friends realized that I was not the same person any more. I knew this feeling was wrong, but I did not know how to change it.�

One day she read Matthew 5:43-45:

�Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

�But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

�That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.� (Matt. 5:43-45)

Christl felt that this passage was meant just for her. �I could not imagine myself praying for this person, but I wanted to do what the Lord said, and I knew I had to get rid of the hatred,� she says. So she knelt that night and prayed, with reservations, that the Lord would bless the person who had hurt her.

She felt a little better. The next night she prayed again, this time wholeheartedly, and she immediately felt the hatred lift from her, never to return. She discovered that the Lord could pour out his Spirit upon her and teach her to love as he does.

In the parable of the sheep and the goats, in Matt. 25:31-46, the Savior taught the importance of loving all those around us. When he comes again in his glory, all nations will be gathered into two groups—with the �sheep� on his right hand and the �goats� on his left. The former will �inherit the kingdom prepared for [them] from the foundation of the world,� while the latter will be cast �into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.�

One of the distinctions between the two groups will be their treatment of those whom we may think of as different from us or difficult to love—the unkind, the unrighteous, the different, and the antagonistic. To those who love and serve these people, the Lord has said, �Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.� (Matt. 25:40.) [�Charity Seeketh Not Her Own,� Ensign, June 1988, 53]

� One Sunday morning Betty got up late and had only forty-five minutes to get herself and her children ready for church. They would have been on time if it hadn�t been for Susan�s lost shoe and the jam on David�s shirt. Betty felt angry with David and Susan, and she had difficulty feeling a spirit of reverence during the meetings.

� Nervous at the prospect of her first oral examination at the university, Dorothy waited in the hall for her professor for half an hour—which made her even more nervous. The first question he asked confused her, and her mind went blank. She stumbled through the rest of the exam, and he told her that she should reevaluate her ability to comprehend complex ideas. Dorothy felt frustrated and angry.

� At the supermarket, Helen watched the woman in front of her in line redeem forty-two dollars� worth of coupons. Everyone behind Helen moved to another line. When Helen joined them, she ended up behind five people, feeling angry and frustrated.

� �Life is not fair,� said one woman after a hard day. �The whole world provokes me!�

Most of us feel frustrated or impatient at times. But when we express those feelings by becoming angry with someone, we offend the Spirit and invite bitterness into our hearts. As we strive to come unto Christ and to perfect ourselves, we should ask ourselves not �What is fair?� but, humbly, �What would Jesus have me do?�

The Savior endured great persecution. We read that �they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men.� (1 Ne. 19:9.) His response to those who crucified him was simply �Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.� (Luke 23:34.)

Although most of us don�t have to deal with persecution, we are often �provoked� by small things. Rudeness, nagging, disobedience, waiting, disagreements, disappointment, and unfulfilled expectations can irritate us, particularly when we are tired, sick, or in a hurry.

At such times, our first impulse may be to react with irritation, anger, or contention. But we can choose to react instead with charity and not be �easily provoked.� (Moro. 7:45.) We can turn the other cheek (see Matt. 5:38-39) and respond with patience and kindness.

How do we develop a spirit of charity that keeps us from being provoked? One approach is to concentrate on ways to control our anger or impatience. Taking a deep breath and stopping to think for a moment before speaking sometimes helps. Getting in the habit of asking ourselves what Jesus would have us do in a given situation can also help defuse anger and frustration.

For those who have a persistent problem with impatience and anger, fervent prayer can be a powerful help in overcoming the tendency to be provoked. Repentance, too, has a healing effect on a wounded spirit, and returning good for evil drains the heart of anger.

By learning to avoid contention and to control our anger, we stop evil from being passed along and become more like the Savior, whose sacrifice of self made eternal life possible for all who come unto him and emulate his example. (�Charity Is Not Easily Provoked,� Ensign, July 1988, 47)

We don�t develop character by chance. Good character is the result of continual effort in righteous thinking and the righteous acts that such thinking brings about.

The scriptures tell us, �As he thinketh in his heart, so is he� (Prov. 23:7), and �Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God� (D&C 121:45). Both the Apostle Paul and the prophet Mormon taught that charity, the pure love of Christ, �thinketh no evil.� (See 1 Cor. 13:4-5; Moro. 7:45.) Clearly, we are what we think. And if we think righteous thoughts, we will very likely live righteously.

How do we distinguish between good and evil thoughts? The scriptures offer us a guide: �Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually.

�But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God.� (Moro. 7:12-13.)

We are the masters of our thoughts. Just as we would tend, prune, and cultivate a garden, so should we tend and cultivate our minds, pruning and weeding impure, negative, or sinful thoughts while cultivating righteous ones.

One way we cultivate righteous thoughts is by keeping in mind our purpose in mortality. If we forget that purpose, we may fall prey not only to immoral thoughts, but also to worries, fears, self-pity, or negative thoughts.

One woman found that when she allowed herself to think continually about clothing and household furnishings she couldn�t afford, she felt discouraged, particularly when she compared her life with the lives of others who had accumulated more wealth and material possessions than she had.

But she decided that she could learn to control her thoughts, and she made an effort to focus not on what she didn�t possess, but on the kind of person she wanted to become. She studied the scriptures, concentrating on the Savior�s life and on patterning her life after his. She prayed more earnestly, and she developed a strong desire to become more Christlike.

As she did this, she became more sensitive to the needs of those around her. With her new perspective, she found that her problems seemed to shrink and her testimony and her family became more precious to her. She felt more grateful for her blessings and felt a greater spirit of charity. She began to admire Christlike character in others more than she had admired worldly wealth. She found that, overall, she was happier.

To develop purity of mind, we need to do more than dismiss or avoid evil, negative, or impure thoughts. We also need to learn to think virtuous thoughts. Just as it takes effort to discover material treasures of the earth, it takes effort to develop good thoughts. The scriptures guide us in choosing what to think about:

�Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report � think on these things.� (Philip. 4:8.)

We can learn to �think on� such things by seeking good surroundings, reading the scriptures and other good books, praying, singing hymns, fasting, observing the Sabbath, selecting uplifting entertainment, wearing modest clothing, developing talents, participating in church and community service, and striving to keep the commandments.

As we learn to think virtuous thoughts, our lives become more virtuous. We will want to live righteously, in thought and in deed. We will be more Christlike. (�Charity Thinketh No Evil,� Ensign, Aug. 1988, 61)

Both the Apostle Paul and the prophet Mormon said that charity �rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.� (See 1 Cor. 13:4-6; Moro. 7:45.) We know that in mortality, �there is an opposition in all things.� (2 Ne. 2:11.) But why do Paul and Mormon contrast iniquity with truth? Why don�t they say that charity �rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in goodness�?

The scriptures give us the answer. In Doctrine and Covenants 93, we read that �light and truth forsake that evil one� (D&C 93:37) and that the �wicked one cometh and taketh away light and truth� (D&C 93:39). Deuteronomy 32:4 tells us that God is �a God of truth and without iniquity.� As iniquity thrives, truth withers; as truth flourishes, iniquity loses power.

Thus, in seeking righteousness and truth, we gain more light and truth (see D&C 93:28) and become more Christlike. The scriptures tell us that Christ is �the light of truth� (D&C 88:6) and that �the glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth� (D&C 93:36).

To seek truth and avoid iniquity, we should examine our actions. Do we allow ourselves to witness portrayals of iniquity on television, in movies, or in books?

Criticism may also be a way of rejoicing in iniquity. One woman worried about her family�s inclination to criticize. That particular day, her ten-year-old son had called his younger brother a �sissy,� and her husband had called their teenagers �impossible.� She herself had chastised her daughter for not cleaning the bathroom, saying, �Why don�t you obey me the first time I tell you to do something? Can�t you do anything right?�

The woman knew that she couldn�t alter the relationships in her family by herself. But there was much she could do to focus on the truth that each family member is a child of God who deserves respect and kindness. She praised family members often. In family prayer, she thanked Heavenly Father for each one, acknowledging the contributions each made. She tried being more positive and less critical herself. After a few weeks, she found that her efforts were working. Family members were less negative, and they were learning to build each other up.

To rejoice in the truth, we must be careful in our use of it. Gossiping or talking about someone�s sins or shortcomings separates us from God and may even keep us from loving and fellowshipping those who need it most.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks has said, �It is wrong to make statements of fact out of an evil motive, even if the statements are true. � One who focuses on faults, though they be true, tears down a brother or a sister. � Even though something is true, we are not necessarily justified in communicating it to any and all persons at any and all times.� (Ensign, Feb. 1987, p. 69.)

As we embrace truth, we become more Christlike and learn to feel charity, the pure love of Christ, for all our brothers and sisters. (�Charity Rejoiceth � in the Truth,� Ensign, Sept. 1988, 69)

Drusilla Dorris Hendricks was among the Saints who were living in Missouri in 1838 when mob violence broke out. Drusilla�s husband was shot and paralyzed from the neck down. She drove back the mobs and nursed him, but his condition grew worse.

During this time, she wrote, �The conflict began in my mind: �Your folks told you your husband would be killed [if you joined the Mormons] and are you not sorry you did not listen to them?� I said, �No I am not�. � After that a third person spoke. It was a still, small voice this time, saying, �Hold on, for the Lord will provide.� I said I would for I would trust in Him and not grumble.� (Ensign, Apr. 1979, p. 55.)

Though the trials we face may not be the same as Drusilla�s, we will all experience some hardship and suffering. �Satan is increasingly striving to overcome the Saints with despair, discouragement, despondency, and depression,� President Ezra Taft Benson has said. (Ensign, Oct. 1986, p. 2.)

Our trials need not overcome us. In fact, they can teach us humility, faith, courage, and compassion, and can ultimately help us develop charity, the pure love of Christ, which �beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, [and] endureth all things.� (1 Cor. 13:7; see also Moro. 7:45.)

President Spencer W. Kimball knew the importance of enduring in the face of trials—in his case, serious health problems. �Being human, we would expel from our lives sorrow, distress, physical pain, and mental anguish and assure ourselves of continual ease and comfort,� he said. �But if we closed the doors upon such, we might be evicting our greatest friends and benefactors.� (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982, p. 168.)

It takes great faith to endure and trust in the Lord. But we can learn about endurance from Alma�s words: �As much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day.� (Alma 8:5.)

Sarah Morgan (the name has been changed) learned to trust in the Lord after her young daughter was abused by an acquaintance and had to endure a nightmare of drawn-out legal processes, during which the little girl herself had to testify in court.

Sarah�s family felt invaded and exposed. �I found it hard to keep up with my normal family and Church responsibilities,� she said, �and I sometimes felt myself being pulled down into a frightening pit of confusion and depression.�

The Lord blessed Sarah�s family with friends to help them through that difficult period. He also blessed Sarah in another way. During that time, her baby kept waking up at night—something none of her other children had done. Later, she felt the Spirit whisper that the Lord had made the baby wakeful so that Sarah would not lie awake night after night worrying and agonizing. Caring for the baby had taken her mind off the family�s problems.

To have charity and trust in the Lord in the face of trials can be a challenge. To aid us, we can remember President Benson�s words: �Let your minds be filled with the goal of being like the Lord, and you will crowd out depressing thoughts as you anxiously seek to know him and do his will.� (Ensign, Oct. 1986, p. 5.) [�Charity � Endureth All Things,� Ensign, Oct. 1988, 47]

Throughout history, vast kingdoms have risen and fallen. Wealth and possessions have decayed and rotted. Sickness and death have claimed innocent victims. It seems that there is little in the world about us that is permanent.

But there is one thing we can count on. Mormon wrote that �if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—

�But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.� (Moro. 7:46-47.)

President Ezra Taft Benson added to Mormon�s definition of charity. �The world today speaks a great deal about love, and it is sought for by many,� he said. �But the pure love of Christ differs greatly from what the world thinks of love. Charity never seeks selfish gratification. The pure love of Christ seeks only the eternal growth and joy of others.� (Ensign, Nov. 1986, p. 47.)

Charity is the heart of the gospel. We seek to be like our Savior; therefore, learning to love as he loves should be our highest goal. For that reason, �Charity Never Faileth� is the Relief Society motto.

Organized to help women develop and express charity, the Relief Society gives many opportunities to love and serve others. Such service helps both the giver and the receiver develop charity—as the Relief Society sisters in one ward learned when they helped a young mother face tragedy.

Blanche was in her early thirties when she underwent an operation. But a mistake was made, a nerve was cut, and Blanche was left permanently paralyzed. She was confined to a wheelchair. Her husband was an alcoholic, and he soon left her and their four young children.

Blanche struggled to raise her children, with the help of family, friends, neighbors, and Relief Society sisters—all of whom helped her do what she could not do by herself. Surprisingly, many of those who served Blanche often left her home wondering who had given and who had received!

Forced into a position of need for the rest of her life, Blanche often expressed her reverence for life and her gratitude for her blessings to all those who helped her. She enriched their lives, and both she and those who served gained the blessings that Christlike service can kindle in our hearts.

Each of us will have chances to serve and to be served; both are indispensable to our salvation. In serving and being served, we can learn to love each other as the Lord loves us.

Developing Christlike love requires time and endurance. It may seem easier to love mankind in general than to love the person from whom we feel alienated. We may cry at hearing a touching story and later treat our husband, child, roommate, or neighbor rudely. We may not take the time to say, �I�m sorry,� or to include those who need love and acceptance. Service is not usually convenient or easy to perform.

In our attempt to develop charity, the Savior�s example can be our guide; his love knows no restrictions. The scriptures show us how he observed the needs of others and fed, healed, comforted, and blessed them. In his great love for us, he atoned for the sins of all the world, making immortality and eternal life possible for us.

As members of his church, we too have promised to bear one another�s burdens and to �feed his sheep.� (See Mosiah 18:8-10; and John 21:17; D&C 112:14.) Service is the way we do that. To each of us, Barbara W. Winder, general president of the Relief Society, says: �We demonstrate our acceptance of the Savior�s atonement for us when we express benevolent goodwill toward and lovingly serve others. By extending charity, the gift Christ so nobly gave may become valid in our lives.� (�Charity Never Faileth,� Ensign, Dec. 1988, 65)