WEBMASTER'S NOTE: The following bile riddled blast of blathering nonsense could be written off as the ruminants of a sleep deprived individual with his belly full of sugar cookies and his veins bulging with caffeine. In fact. We will. No similarity to any official organization or agency is intended... unless, of course, the shoe actually fits, in which case... etc.
Thank you.
� � � The Desk has come to the profound realization that every state of Depression, Lethargy, Indifference, and Apathy it has experienced before was simply a state of mind put forth by a spirited amateur or maybe a well-meaning rookie. Yes indeed. The write up it did about being totally surrounded by work and only able to muster the gumption to listen to a sporting event and drink warm beer was just coming to the plate and taking a few practice swings.
� � � Now, however, the Desk has reached that Next Level.
� � � The Desk's Day Job at the State Office of Whatever It Is, had changed. That has been well documented elsewhere. And now. Well. And now the Desk no longer cares.
� � � That's the bottom line. It no longer cares.
� � � The Desk does exactly enough to keep from getting yelled at. Period. No more, and maybe a little less if it can get away with it. It takes time off at the drop of a hat, and the Desk always has its hat handy to drop as well.
� � � It can ignore everything from multiple ringing telephones to emails from Cabinet Secretaries and faxes from everybody and sundry, as long as they do not immediately and unavoidably impact the Desk's job. It has learned how to pass the buck, transfer calls into oblivion, and befuddle even the most knowledgeable customer to render almost any request futile.
� � � And the best part... This is the way this entire department operates.
� � � Meaningful Work and Actual Progress toward a Desired or Needed Goal happens only as almost a course of last resort and sometimes by accident. So the Desk fits right in.
� � � This also explains why the Most Honorable Governor of the State has decided to commit this place to the compost heap of State Government.
� � � Seems somebody way on up yonder in the pecking order noticed that Customer Service had ceased to exist. Paperwork was more important than actually getting the job done. And a lot of people were being paid simply to keep each other busy instead of doing something to further the mission.
� � � One thing Very Important People do not like to hear when they are following up on a mess that has made regional newscasts and been splashed all over the front pages of everything from big city papers to the monthly shoppers guide is, 'we did it but it's not our fault'. Telling people you were on vacation that week wears thin after awhile. Having endless meetings scheduled to brief each other on last month's meetings to set the agenda for next month's meetings when nothing ever gets done work wise is not a good thing.
� � � Eventually operating like this will catch up with you.
� � � And it has.
� � � Unfortunately. Some Politician in a Star Chamber someplace decided a working, customer service-oriented agency that actually did something and paid its own way with a zero sum budget needed cast into this black hole. Effectively rendering said customer friendly agency useless, or even worse, part of the problem.
� � � As for what's next, nobody actually knows. Will Customer Service be important to the new department? Probably not because most of the New Department will be either outsourced or contract employees who have no vested interest in presenting a good image for the State. They're not here for the long haul, they are not on the career ladder, so... oh well, see ya.
� � � Re-reading those last few paragraphs the Desk realized it actually does still care.
� � � Not about this place, or about the job any more. But it does care about what the victims of this transition, the former agency's customers.
� � � People with fax machines that can't, voice mail that won't. Wrong names in the directory and calls being forwarded to New Jersey. They need a new dial tone line, and an ISDN needs to be unplugged. A small town police force is moving to new digs, an office in a Historic House is out of working pairs. The new radio tower's feed circuit hasn't been installed yet, somebody with three phone lines got a bill for seven hundred dollars.
� � � Who they gonna call now?
� � � Who cares?
� � � Those are not high profile type problems which will earn somebody a gold star and a lunch date with the Speaker of the House. Nobody is going to get a cash bonus for figuring out why the mosquito control office's hunt group isn't hunting. Even if you did process three dozen work orders in record time with complete information and no mistakes, so what? Nobody here cares. It doesn't mean anything to Those That Matter. And neither do you.
� � � But in the meantime... The Desk will continue to operate per the local SOP for this office.
� � � Look Busy. Generate appropriate amounts of documentation, electronic and paper, to show you are putting out the documentation that gives Those Above something to do. Do just enough actual Job Type Stuff to keep the screaming to a minimum. Return fire when necessary.
� � � That about covers it.
� � � Job performance is all but irrelevant. Results don't matter as long as the process looks good to anybody watching. Dealing with the client or customer is seen as something painful but required on occasion like having your teeth scrapped by the hygienist. If anything except praise or glory for sporadic good results can be shoved off on anybody or everybody so much the better. Only accept the blame for a screw up only if you were caught on video and after it has been appealed to the US Supreme Court.
� � � Is this going to be the Order of the Day for the New Department?
� � � Unless something changes dramatically. Like if the new 'Heap Big Chief the Mighty el-Bosso' says something that isn't a pre-written and approved sound bite quality bit of nonsense with Plausible Deniability built in... it seems it will be.
� � � And that... Is a shame.
� � � And that... Won't solve the problems that got us to this point to begin with.
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