Curriculum Vitae of Llandudno Tortoise

Skills

Llandudno is an expert in the fields of weather and fire forecasting, curing insomnia and is able to ``concentrate'' flowers off branches that are too high.

Universities Attended

Llandudno attended Rogues University

where he majored in - you guessed it - Botany. His dissertation was on - why, of course - the plants that tortoises find edible. Llandudno will always be remembered for his enquiring mind, coming top of the class, consistently being late and his fear of the zoology department.

Previous Work Experience

Auditioned as a speed-hump.

Llandudno once climbed a tree.

Llandudno climbing

What the Referees Said:

Llandudno's locomotion may be slow but a very high I.Q. he has, you know. So when you think he's M.I.A. - finally suicided, run away, all he is is fast asleep, underneath the nearest garden refuse heap.

In Llandudno's own words: ``A reliable weather forecast I am. With my predictions you can really plan. If the day is going to be a gem, then it's up and racket, 4 a.m. But if I don't get out of bed at all then you know the rain is going to fall.''

When it comes to music he has taste, the petal-head's not fond of thumping bass. He first freezes, raises, cocks his head, then marches off, off to bed. ``That galloping beat's like thundering feet, so play me something classical, or something with a bird-like tweety-tweet.''

Llandudno takes an overall interest in his surroundings.

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