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It all started one winter day when my parents got into an argument bigger than any I�d ever seen on TV (TV was the only place I�d ever seen adults argue before because my parents had always gotten along). I was sitting in the library in the front of the house, looking out the window and went running to my mom to tell her of the snow coming down from the sky. She was sitting on the couch, reading a book quietly and I jumped up next to her, shouting and yelling my excitement about the first snowfall.
�Samantha,� she said, �Mommy needs some quiet time. Why don�t you go outside and play?� I walked away calmly. It happened a lot. Mom would tell me she needed quiet time and I would go off by myself. It seemed like all she would do when she was actually home was sit by herself. But this day was different. I didn�t have time to just walk away and go play by myself or find dad to share my excitement with him because before I was out of the room he came in and asked about dinner.
�Jeremy!� Mom yelled at him, �I am trying to spend a little time on my own without getting bothered by the two of you constantly. Can you not make your own dinner once in a while?� And it began. He yelled back at her and they yelled for a good ten minutes before finally my dad turned around to leave and saw me still standing there. He paused and closed his eyes for a second, then scooped me into his arms and took me to McDonald�s for dinner. My parents stopped talking for months after that day. Dad started sleeping in the spare bedroom and I stopped going to my mom for anything. Dad became my favorite parent, my only parent really.
Mom wandered around during those months, finally getting all the quiet time she had wanted. But she grew sadder. I heard her on the phone with my grandma once, crying. �I just want my husband and my daughter back. They don�t talk to me anymore.� I tried to talk her later that day, but she still seemed sad. I wanted to fix it. I wanted everything to be normal again. I was sick of the sadness that had permeated my life. But nothing I did or said to either Mom or Dad would change anything between them. A few days after I heard the phone conversation, Mom started leaving all the time. She had always been gone a lot, busy at church and running errands, but this became more often that ever before. She�d pick me up from school and drop me off and leave again. She�d come home for an hour or so to make dinner, then tell my dad she�d be gone for the night. It was almost every day that she left. She never gave any explanation. Sometimes I asked; sometimes Dad asked. She would always give the same response: �Out.� And then Dad would turn and go upstairs, into his bedroom and cry.
I never knew what to do. I didn�t know what was going on. Mom left us all the time. I didn�t know of any other family where the Mom left every day. I didn�t know of any other Dad who cried so often. I found myself following my dad�s example and shutting myself in my room to cry. I always wanted to ask my dad about it, but never knew what he�d say.
After only a few weeks of leaving, Mom started getting a lot happier around us. She�d ask me to play games sometimes when she was home. She�d read me stories. She often asked Dad what he would like for dinner. And I�ll never forget the day she asked Dad to start sleeping in their bedroom again. He said no. She pushed the issue farther.
�I miss laying next to you. I want you next to me again.�
�I won�t, Kaydence. I won�t do that for you until you start explaining things to me. Until you tell me what you�ve been doing all the time. I want to talk to you and I want you to talk to me.�
Mom simply sighed, got up from the dinner table and started doing the dishes. My dad didn�t press the issue. I wanted him to. I wanted to solve the problems. I wanted to scream and yell until they fixed things because I didn�t know what to do anymore. But instead of doing anything, I followed my parents� example and kept quiet. I got up, made my cold lunch for the next day, and then went upstairs.
Mom continued getting happier. Dad cried more. And I went on more confused than ever. Eventually though, my dad grew sick of it. Exactly two weeks later (I know this simply because I only made my lunch on Thursday nights because Fridays were mystery meat days) I was heading down to the kitchen to make my lunch when I heard my parents talking. They hardly ever talked, so I decided I needed to find out what was being said.
�Kaydence, are you having an affair?� So that was why he had cried all those nights when she left. She didn�t respond to his question. �I want you to tell me. Are you cheating on me?�
�What do you think, Jeremy? Do you think I would?�
�I�d really like to think you wouldn�t. But I can�t seem to figure out any other reason you would leave Sam and I every night with no explanation.� She sat quietly again. �Kaydence, please talk to me. I won�t keep up this happy act if you don�t.�
�What happy act, Jeremy? I haven�t seen you smile in weeks.�
�Would you if you were me and thought your wife was cheating on you and that was the only thing in years that had made her happy?�
�I�m not cheating on you, Jeremy. I never have and never will.� She spoke calmly, kindly. A tone of voice I hadn�t heard in her for a long time, even though she was happy now.
He slammed his hands on the table. �What then? What have you been doing? You have to tell me because I don�t know!� He sighed and lowered his voice. �I don�t have any idea what this is about, Kaydence and I want to work it out with you.�
�I can�t tell you about it. But I can show you. Will you let me show you?� He didn�t respond. I heard her chair back up and almost came around the corner to yell at them and make them finish this conversation, but Mom started walking towards me so I ran upstairs to my room.
�Samantha! Sweetie, come down here.� I ran down the stairs, wondering why I was needed.
�What?�
�We�re going for a drive. Get your coat and shoes on.�
�Where are we going?�
�Out. Now go.�
She was taking me with. I was going to be allowed to see what she did also. Had Dad agreed to go? Maybe he had nodded. I looked at the kitchen table, and he hadn�t moved. I followed my mom�s directions nonetheless and got my shoes and coat on and then went to the kitchen, where she was standing next to the table.
�Jeremy? Please. Come with us.� He sat silent, motionless. I stared at him from next to my mom. If I pleaded, he would come. And if he came and saw what she wanted to show him, things would go back to normal. I thought hard about asking him myself. But for some reason I let the conflict stay between my parents. I looked up at my mom and the look in her eyes said that she knew how to get him to come. She knew was she had to say, but she didn�t want to do it. I wanted to yell at her then. Why wouldn�t she just say it?
After a couple minutes she sighed, closed her eyes, then walked over to his side of the table. She knelt down by him, putting on arm on the table, and the other around the back of the chair. He turned to look at her and she smiled at that.
�I owe you an apology, Jeremy. I�ve been trying to deal with emotions on my own and I should have at least explained them to you, even if I didn�t ask for help. I didn�t want our relationship to get to this. But a couple months ago I figured out how to fix it and I wanted to surprise you. I�m sorry I didn�t share it with you. But will you please come with me now to see what I�ve been doing and where I�ve been going?�
He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, standing up and pulling her with him. �I would love to my darling. But first, please forgive me for ever thinking you were having an affair.�
�Of course.� He hugged her tight. �I�ve missed you, Jeremy.�
�I love you, Kaydence. And I�ve missed you, also.�
I didn�t understand what made my father forgive her so fast. I didn�t know what words had made him decide to wrap his arms around her so tightly. I simply knew that after that night, they never fought again. Mom never needed quiet time again. And Dad never slept in the guest room again, even when one of them was sick.